


Romance and Rivalry

by AmayaOkami



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chatting & Messaging, Enemies to Lovers, Mixed Media, Multi, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:12:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 136,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmayaOkami/pseuds/AmayaOkami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanks to Eren setting up a dating profile for Mikasa, she hits it off with an unbelievable guy named Levi online. Thing is, they don't know what each other look like yet and Mikasa unknowingly runs into a rude and annoying little man at the gym. The next day she meets the man she chatted with online. Needless to say, the blind date doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catch

"Okay hear me out, Mikasa. You ready? It's a brilliant idea. It'll solve all your problems and make your dreams come true."

"Spit it out already, Eren."

He fanned his hands out to generate unnecessary suspense before confidently spewing out, " _Dating website_." With a goofy grin, Eren hummed questionably at her to rush out a reply. He seems so proud of the proposal, like it assured applaud. 

The held-in breath Mikasa locked in her lungs dispensed. How embarrassing. She actually thought he'd make a helpful suggestion. "God,  _no._  There's crazy people on those things."

Eren relined back, his weaved fingers supporting the back of his head. "Don't be paranoid."

The two fresh college students were discussing how they were going to spend their time at university. Somehow that ambitious (and shortly lived) conversation crumbled and drifted to the horrible idea of setting up a dating profile for Mikasa after Eren not-so-nicely pointed out that she's been single for three years and needs to find a date.

"You know that gross married couple in Professor Pixis's class?"

Mikasa tilted her head, wondering why her classmates were suddenly brought up. "Hannah and Franz?"

"Yeah, them. I heard they met on a dating website. And guess what? They're  _not_  serial killers. Surprise, surprise."

"It's still a risky gamble."

"Listen, Mikasa." Eren heaved himself up from the couch and dropped down to the carpet, his legs folded under the coffee table. He slid over the laptop across the glass and booted it up. "Dating websites are for lonely people with busy lives or people who moved into a new town like us that don't have time to met people."

"I have plenty of time. And I'm not lonely."

Eren tapped his finger against the table as he waited for the WiFi to connect. "Could've fooled me with all your moping around and Google searches. Fyi, typing _'How To Attract A Mate'_  isn't going to help you find a boyfriend."

"That was  _one time_. And I already told you I was researching for my Sociology paper."

Eren gave a solid nod with a perched brow. " _Sure_."

Mikasa let herself fall on the couch with a sigh, the back of her hand resting on her forehead. "I live on campus with a ton of people my age, but I still can't find a _single_ person I click with. Or tolerate longer than a day." Mikasa wasn't actively seeking a mate—she had better things to do than find  _The One_. Other than her extensive list of time-consuming hobbies, she has friends (more than she can keep up with without getting socially drained) and she's barely three months into college with enough of assignments to keep her occupied. But in the midst of her daily schedule, she can't help but notice that she's lacking a common necessity. That being: a special someone. It never bothered her when she was single in Middle School and most of High School, with the exception of senior year when she gave one of Eren's friends a chance. She marks that as the worse decision of her young life.

Now that she started college and sees nothing but couples around her (like the annoying lovey-dovey pair at her new part-time job) she couldn't help but to feel a little left out and question whether she's being too picky or if there's something wrong with her.

But she could hardly convince herself that it's _her fault_ that she's single. Every time she meets a new guy they're not merely on a different page compared to her, they're in a different book all together. They're either loud and obnoxious like Eren and his buddies or they're total tools with no backbone. Or more commonly, they're already taken. 

Enough of guys show interest in her, but she's not an idiot. She knows it's only her looks that attract them in the first place. Most of the time after having an actual conversation with her, the guy in question will lose interest and find her boring. Or in worst cases, they'll keep being persistent with the intention of getting in her pants while ignoring her personality. She just wants to meet someone that likes the same things as her—not  _everything,_  she can compromise—but at least someone who shares her love for fitness and heath. She doesn't even have a _friend_ she could relate to in that respect. Even her best friend is a fast food junkie who's even lazier than Eren. Because of Mikasa's "choice" in friends, she's stuck working-out alone without anyone to talk to about diets and exercise routines. She'd love to get into a relationship with someone who could share her enthusiasm. Someone that would also respect her hobbies and past times without dragging _gender_ into it would be decent catch. That's another pet-peeve she can't stand about most of the sexist guys she meets on campus, which just so happens to be the jocks. In other words, the only guys she would have anything in common with don't take her seriously.

To prove this, the other day in work she tried to flirt with some jersey-wearing jackass and he quickly made the assumption that she was a lesbian because she acted 'masculine'. Mikasa didn't have to remind the uninformed jerk not to believe stereotypes because her coworker, who just so happens to be a lesbian, took her break early and demonstrated what an actual masculine lesbian would look like in the parking lot. There's still some blood on the concrete from where his tooth got knocked out.

"It's not easy to meet someone who likes the same things as you. That's where dating websites come in handy. You feed the account with your interests, the things you like and dislike and it calculates the results. Then the site will match you up with your dream person in your area." With the way Eren went on with his sales pitch, it's honestly surprising how he's flunking Economics already.

"Does it really work like that?" She couldn't help but to be skeptical. Those dating websites you see on commercials with the married couples (that are totally  _not_  paid actors) talking about how they found their perfect match through so-and-so dot com always seemed like a not-so-cheap gimmick.

"Yeah." He belatedly replied, distracted by his fingers skipping around the keyboard. By this time in the conversation, Eren had already signed her up for an account. Mikasa had a sneaking suspicion that she is  _paying_  for this not-so-cheap gimmick; obviously this site isn't going to find her "future husband" for free. It's common knowledge that Eren knows her debit card number by heart, which he conveniently uses to buy his stupid limited edition pre-order video games. Never once had he paid her back and even though this is _his_ dumb scheme, _she's_ still paying for it.

By the looks of it, he was currently filling in her personal bio and interests. Eren knew Mikasa for a long time, there's no doubt that he'd fill it out accurately, but she still questioned him on what he was writing.

"I'm just typing in that you're a new college student that likes working-out at the gym, fighting and martial arts, competitive sports—and, right. I'll need a picture."

"Don't put my face on that serial killer mating site."

"Your matches will want to know what you look like."

"My interests and hobbies should tell them if they like me or not. What I look like should have nothing to do with it."

"Fine, fine. You make a good point. You'd probably get too many weird messages if you post a pic anyway."

Mikasa never saw herself as the beauty many others sum her up to be, but just because she didn't agree with the claim doesn't mean she doesn't get unwanted attention because of her looks. Meeting someone that has interest in her _before_ they know what she looks like will help her decide if they are genuinely into her for her personality and nothing else. At the very least, they might just see her appearance as a bonus if they happen to find her attractive. Maybe this dating website deal isn't such an awful idea after all. 

Appearing satisfied with himself after a few more minutes of constant typing, Eren removed his hands from the keyboard. "That should do it."

"Now what?"

"...We wait."

Mikasa figured she'd have plenty of time to go over Eren's mistakes and fill in some info on her own that he missed, but before she had the chance to edit her personal history, a flashing icon in the corner of the page stole both of the freshman's attention.

"Ah! I got a match already!"

" _You_  got a match?" Mikasa questioned, wondering if this profile belonged to him or her for a second. Eren gestured his hand eagerly toward him, luring Mikasa over to peer at the screen with him, although she's clearly already invested in curiosity of her own accord without his insisting. He moved the cursor over and clicked on the profile that the site suggested to them.

The first thing she noticed was the default icon that decorated the profile, similar to the one on her page where a users personal picture should be displayed. 

"Looks like he's shy too and doesn't wanna post a pic. See? You're a perfect match!"

She made an insatiable noise in her throat. It's hypocritical to admit it, but she's a little disappointed by that. She would like to know what this match looked like. Not because she had much of a physical type and needed to see his looks before she involved herself, but only because she was curious. There's no helping it, though, and it's really not much of a big deal. 

Eren's nose came within an inch of the computer as he painted the strangers profile with his gaze, his big-head blocking most of the screen. He's awfully excited for a match that isn't even his.

"Ah...hold up. He's thirty. Is that too old for you? I can click next and wait for another one to pop up."

Mikasa finished off her water and wrung out the plastic bottle in her firm grip. She swiped her tongue over her lip before replying, "Let's lurk the profile first."

Mikasa didn't care much for age as long as the person wasn't a young High School student or an old grandpa. Thirty is a pretty decent age for someone like her. Recently she's come to the conclusion that she doesn't relate to many people her own age, but someone in their thirties is bound to be mature and have their life together a bit.

She's only twenty-one herself but she's the type of girl that would rather beat on a boxing bag for a natural high than go out partying. Not having the desire to bar-hop and attend dormitory parties really isn't the lifestyle of the average collage student, though. It's no surprise why she feels like an outcast, but the bar scene is rowdy and attracts the most annoying people this planet has to offer. The nightlife is even too much for  _Eren_  and he's a troublemaker that loves easy bait. This might explain why both of them are single; they rarely mingle outside their clique. Eren and Mikasa still stick to the same crowd they went to High School with and most of them decided on the same local university, meaning there's no pressure to find new companions to ensure they aren't lonely through their college years. But staying in the same safe group doesn't help single people find a date.

Most days they only leave the apartment to attend classes. But now that she's more settled in on campus, Mikasa started hitting the gym everyday again and it also helps that she started working too. Eren on the other hand is the definition of shut-in. The only time he socializes is on the phone or when his friends come to him. All he does is play violent video games all day while screaming at twelve year olds on PSN, or he lounges on the couch in his three-day-old boxers while browsing lewd imageboards.

If Mikasa hadn't known Eren as long as she had and didn't considered him family, she would've kicked him out by now and put an ad out in the paper for a new roommate.

Eren cracked the pause in the room with a thunderous chuckle. Not that she _cared_ much about this dating website business, but she merely became curious enough to wonder what he found so amusing and snuck an undetected peek over his shoulder. A massive wall of text hogged the entire screen.

"Wow, he has  _a lot_ of dislikes." Eren sounded pleasantly stunned. "That's fucking  _impressive_. How long do you think that took him to write? A week? Maybe two. "

Comparing the dislike-list to the like-list was like comparing the vast ocean to a narrow creek. Mikasa had to admit that was actually impressive in a really antagonistic way.

"Says he likes working-out and combat training," Eren paused to bounce giddily in his spot as he pointed a finger at Mikasa to add emphasis to the fact their first two likes were identical. She dodged his finger and swat his hand, trying not to smile. Chuckling, he returned to the screen and kept reading. Once again, the interest spiked up for Mikasa. "And he likes writing, Grey Earl tea, animals, and... _cleaning_." Eren scratched his chin. "That's a weird thing to put down. Who likes doing chores? He's weird, I don't know about him."

Eren's mood regarding the match suddenly shifted and Mikasa sighed. He's the one that made the damn account in the first place. She tried to warn him that these kind of sites attracted weirdos; his dislike-list makes it clear that he is in fact a weirdo—but now that she's curious she's not going to command Eren to sign out over a little (okay, a lot of) pessimism.

Mikasa nudged Eren's head with her temple, trying to fit in the frame of view. "What are his dislikes?"

"What  _doesn't_ he dislike, is the real question." Eren scrolled a little more to reveal the entirety of the essay and internally read through the first paragraph, then summed it up. "Okay, here we go. He hates loud and obnoxious people and most people in general. He already has one eccentric friend and that's all his patience could handle, so if you fall into the above category you should just go away and buy a muzzle for yourself—wow, he sure is a pocket full of sunshine, ain't he?"

"Keep reading."

"He hates people who can't clean up after themselves. Or people with bad hygiene. He doesn't like art because he can't draw and it makes him frustrated to know he can't draw, so he's not going to praise other peoples' work because he feels like he's being mocked— _in other words he's a jealous loser that can't appreciate others success_ —and, he doesn't like reptiles, especially lizards because they're creepy and no living thing should grow back body parts— _oh my God,_ Mikasa. He has like another paragraph about his resentment against lizards. You were right. He's a serial killer."

"If you're not going to read it, then hand over the computer so I can do it myself."

Eren shielded the laptop protectively. Instead of reading, he started to skim through at one point, his eyes squinting from the strain."Uhhh...he doesn't like overly blunt people or people who purposely attract attention to themselves. He hates lazy people, gluttons, parents that don't shut their loud children up. At least he's not hating on kids—oh. Wait, never mind. It says he hates hyper kids and ones who ask too many questions...Jesus Christ this list is long. My heads starting to hurt." He pinched his brow and let his eyes close to escape the artificial glow of the screen. Leave it to Eren to get a headache from reading a few long paragraphs. And he wonders why he's already falling behind in his studies.

"Alright, just skip it. I get the idea." Admittedly, the match is overly pessimistic and finicky, but she couldn't exactly find anything _false_ about what he listed. Even if she wouldn't write it down herself for others to see, she agreed on most of his dislikes—except for the reptile part, she likes them. But overall, this is the kind of the person she's searching for. Someone real that didn't just put on a fake smile and act like everything is sunny, and also someone who had the balls to tell everyone what they really thought.

"Moving on..." Eren said groggily as he scrolled past the list. "Says he grew up in the boonies on a farm, but now he resides in the downtown district of Sina City. Hey, that's a quick trip on the freeway away from us." Eren checked if Mikasa was paying attention, and even though she wore a bored expression she couldn't deny how absorbed she had become by this strangers profile.

"It also says he served in the military for eight years, but after sustaining an injury he was given honorable discharge. Now he's following his passion."

Mikasa perked up; fully invested now. That last amount of information revealed just added to the towering pile of interest she accumulated since first clicking the page. She craned her neck over Eren's shoulder and closer to the screen. "Does it say what he does for a living now?"

He clicked around until he found the career section. "He's a freelance writer for sports and fitness magazines. Fancy. It also says he aspires to publish a fiction novel someday." After reading that off, Eren leaned his head back at a crooked, uncomfortable-looking angle with his lips curling up at Mikasa. "Sooo? What do you think?"

Her brows twitched anxiously as she inhaled an exaggerated breath, her eyes landing everywhere but Eren because she knew she would be doomed the moment she looked at him. "I'll admit we have a few things in common and he seems...  _interesting_ , but he already seems way out of my league." Not only is it intimating that he's finicky and pessimistic, but he's also a veteran and a professional writer. She shrinks in comparison to him. He already accomplished so much and he probably wants a companion that accomplished the same level of achievements; that's only natural for someone his age. If Mikasa were in her thirties, she wouldn't settle for some fresh adult that just started college and had nothing to offer yet. Then again, she's beyond picky. He seems right up her alley in that respect, but that doesn't exactly work her favor right now. 

"If he was  _that much_  of a catch he wouldn't be on a dating website trying to find a girlfriend. No offense to you."

"Some taken."

Eren impatiently tossed his head at his unconvinced roommate and tried to assure her. "He's probably just a busy guy that can't find a girl that he has anything in common with. Either that or he can't find a girl that will put up with that impressive dislike-list of his."

Mikasa let out a tiny giggle, then let her gaze sway back to the bright screen and her lips returned to a firm line. She knew she didn't have much of a chance and it certainly isn't smart for her to get her hopes up. She tried to lie to herself with this thought: Reading his profile is way more entertaining than whatever is on television right now and she's definitely not interested in some faceless man on the internet.

That only convinced her briefly, though, than the reality that she  _is_ interested in him to some extent came wiggling back in her mind. Trying to swallow the insecurities, she distracted herself with asking something else she wanted to know about him. "What kind of music does he like?"

"Let's see..." Eren stroked the touch pad and searched the profile. "Well, he starts off by saying he hates pop music and stupid boybands like the five directions or whatever the hell they're called and that garbage called country. But he has a guilty pleasure for dubstep and hip-hop when he works-out, but generally he listens to grunge and indie rock."

"What a deal breaker. How can he hate pop? It's too catchy, everyone secretly hates to love pop."

"Not me. You have shit taste, Mikasa."

She scoffed, offended that her music taste was being ridiculed by a guy that listened to artists that literately just screamed at the microphone, recorded it and called it music. "Fine, then  _you_  date him and talk about how much you hate Katy Perry and Avril Lavigne."

"Don't tempt me. That sounds like an awesome time." He warned as he skimmed over the profile. "Oh, and he's a Capricorn. Is that compatible with Aquarius?" 

He's really getting too into this. "You believe in zodiacs?"

"I'm Googling it." Completely ignoring her, Eren opened up a new tab to type in his question. Not only does Eren believe in zodiacs, but he believes Google is a good source for information regarding love and compatibility. Okay, maybe Mikasa is guilty of asking Google some love questions too at one point, but had since learned how pointless that is.

"Yikes. I guess not."

"What did it say?"

He quoted: "' _This match is so ill-advised that it is practically over before it can even get started.'"_

Not believing an actual article would write that, she tilted in and read it for herself. When she made it to the end of the paragraph, she rolled her eyes at the negativity pointed at the match. "The author probably broke up with a Capricorn guy and vented through a horoscope."

"I don't know... Usually these things are pretty accurate. I checked it when you were dating Jean. Both of you are Aquarius and it said the relationship wouldn't last and you'd have a terrible sex life. On a scale to one-to-ten how accurate is that?"

"Eleven. I still say that site it full of shit though."

"Oh well, even if a relationship between a Capricorn and Aquarius isn't compatible, it'll just spice up your relationship."

"What relationship? I haven't even spoken to the guy yet."

Eren clicked back to the other tab and scrolled back up to the top of the profile, double-checking the status. It glowed green. "He's online," Eren gave a little carefree shrug. "Wanna say hello?"

Mikasa took longer to reply than she planned. "...Alright."

"Hmph," Eren nudged with a sneer, then mocked like a kindergartner, "You  _like_  him~"

"He sounds a little too good to be true." Her eyes brightened with a tiny smile. How is it that a guy she has so much in common with and has a personality to her liking live so close and she never knew it? It really is a small world, or more realistically speaking there's probably a catch to all this. That's probably it. But maybe talking to him will help her feel him out for herself and know if there's a catch or if he's _a catch_. "He seems to be my type, I'll admit. But I'm not expecting this to actually go anywhere."

"You won't know until you talk to him," Eren started tapping along the keyboard, but Mikasa reached over and smashed down the backspace button when she glanced at what he wrote. "He's a  _writer._ You need to capitalize and use proper grammar."

"It's the internet, no one does that."

Eren is still as immature as the day she met him, meaning Eren still has the brain of a nine year old. Someone in his thirties probably wouldn't even understand half the text-slang Eren used. "Wait, why are _you_ even messaging him anyway?" She nudged him over with her hip and stole his spot in front of the computer. He pushed himself back up on the couch cushion and Mikasa felt his eyes right over her shoulder, staring at the blank white message box and the blinking line that intimidated her train of thought.

Her hands hovered over the keys, immobile, trying to think of something to say.

"Just ask what's up."

She disregarded his advice with little thought. She couldn't ask that—that's too vague and boring. The more she kept thinking about it—the more she came up blank, like every common greeting and introductory word vanished clean from her mind. There's a high possible chance she will make an ass out of herself or make a bad first impression. With all these things considered, she backed out like a coward. "I can't do this...I literally don't know what to say." But in all fairness, he's a faceless stranger on the internet that she quite literally just _stalked_. Of course she doesn't know what to say. 

Eren sighed. "Figured." After stretching forward, he stole back the laptop and sat it in his lap, then smugly propped his feet up on the coffee table. "You were always awkward with chatting online. But that's to be expected from someone who hasn't logged into their Facebook account for two years. This is why I offered to do it for you," he cracked his knuckles. "How about I write it and you edit it how you like?"

"Fine." It wasn't that Mikasa was terrible with technology or socializing. Little to Eren's knowledge she did in fact have social networking profiles online he didn't know about, like her blog she actively updates. But it's much easier to talk to people on there where it's mostly anonymous. It's also effortless to find people she has common interest with through the tags, but everyone she met there lives scattered around the world and no where near her.

Usually she could type out a message to one of her online friends with no added brain effort. But now is different. There's something very daunting about not only putting her personal info out for display to be judged, but talking to a real guy that lived ten minutes away from her.

"How's this?" He swiveled around the screen and they exchanged the laptop between each other. She tried her best to read the harmless, yet cheesy message without cringing.

_**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------** _

_**Subject:** _ _Hello_

 _I just read your profile and I think we have a lot in common. What's your name?_ _I hope we can chat soon._ :)

_-Mikasa_

_**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------** _

"I'm deleting the smiley face."

"Oh, right. Heaven forbid you trick him into thinking you smile. Smart move."

She glared back at his condescending smirk. Not only is that message not her personality at all, but it sounded so pathetic and cliché, even for Eren. That's the best they could come up with right now, though. After re-reading (and cringing) a second time, she clicked send.

In the meantime of waiting for a reply, Eren clicked on the television and channel surfed until he committed to the late night line-up on Toonami. The sound of a generic shonen sword battle became the apartments soundtrack. Mikasa went over to the kitchen to grab herself another bottle of water from the fridge. She idled around the island counter for a while and let her head fall back as she swigged down a mouthful.

"He wrote back!" Eren announced with blasting vocals from the living room and she nearly _choked_ on her water. Not only is she surprised at how fast he replied, but she's surprised he wrote back to her at all. Before Mikasa even returned to the living room (with some added pep in her step), Eren was already reading out the reply. The flirtatious tone he put on made her want to strangle him.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _ **RE:** _ _Hello_

_Hi, I'm Levi. I just took a look at your profile. It seems we do have some things in common. We live pretty close. What gym do you go to?_

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Whoa~ho." Eren sang, trying to rile up a bashful nerve inside Mikasa. But she concealed it well and rolled her eyes at his obnoxious reaction as she flopped down on the couch, but really, her irritation was just a show to hide the fact that she's a little excited herself. So his name is Levi. That's one mystery solved. She said the name a few times in her head so she wouldn't forget it a minute later. 

" _Levi_ seems interested. Looks like you have someone to talk to about your boring exercise routine now."

Just as Eren began typing again, she yanked the laptop right out from under his hands. "Alright, thanks for getting me started but I got it from here."

"At least tell me what he says back."

"No, get lost."

"I just found you a  _boyfriend_  and now you tell me to get lost?" Eren stood with a need for vengeance as he clenched his fist, feeling used and betrayed. His temper skyrocketed to the ceiling. She's sure the neighbors above them will leave another complaint on their door if he keeps this up. Mikasa didn't have the strength to remind Eren again that they weren't in a relationship and instead used that effort into typing a decent reply. She lightly kicked Eren away with the tip of her sock to grant herself privacy.

_**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------** _

_**Re:** _ _Hello_

 _Until I find a better one, I workout at the_ _campus gym near my apartment. I'm trying to find a place_   _that has Krav Maga_ _classes, but I'm having no luck finding any. Where do you go?_

__**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------** _ _

_**Re:** _ _Hello_

 _Stohess Fitness, it's near Mall Maria. It has Krav Maga,_ _if you were wondering. Not a bad choice; that's one of my favorite combat techniques._   _The instructor there is brutal, just a heads up. Have you been in Sina City long?_

__**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------** _ _

Mikasa works a block down from that mall, but she never knew there was a gym near by. That would be convenient for her daily workout before she clocks in for her shift. She made a mental note to check the gym out, then wrote out a reply, thanking him for his information. She explained how she recently came from the suburbs and moved to Sina City to live on campus. Levi spoke briefly about his time in the military and how he moved to Sina City after his discharge. Being doused in conversation for a decent about of time, Mikasa asked if he had an IM client for easier conversing. Shortly after exchanging usernames, they moved their conversation over to Skype. The sound of notification beeps and keys tapping became the new ambiance in the space. 

 **Levi:** Your profile wasn't really detailed. Mind if I ask a few things?

_12:36 AM_

**Mikasa:** Sure. What do you want to know?

_12:36 AM_

**Levi:** You said you're attending college. What are you studying? Do you work?

_12:37 AM_

**Mikasa:** I'm aiming for a career in the criminal justice field. I'm studying Liberal Arts and minoring in Health and Fitness.

_12:39 AM_

**Levi:** Not bad. That's an honorable career to pursue.

_12:40 AM_

**Mikasa:** But as of right now, I just started working part-time at Starbucks. And before you ask if I like it there so far, the answer is no.

_12:41 AM_

**Levi:** That bad?

_12:41 AM_

**Mikasa:** Yesterday there was a line out the door and a guy ordered a Frappé-whatever a mile long in speech. My coworkers were "missing" (aka making-out on the backroom). They're royal assholes, but they're probably the only ones keeping me sane there.

_12:43 AM_

**Levi:** You wouldn't happen to be talking about Ymir and Christa, right? I don't think I ever saw those two work for longer than 5 minutes a shift. And Ymir always fucks up my coffee. Every time. I think she secretly hates me. Does that place even know what plain black coffee is? She's always adding pumps of weird foamy shit to it.

_12:46 AM_

A held back laugh vibrated in her throat. So even customers notice how much they slack off. She moved her eyes up from the computer screen to glance at the TV to see what show Eren was watching—but it turns out the program didn't hold his attention at all. All this time he's been observing her from the other end of the couch. When they finally locked eyes, he wiggled his eyebrows at her with a flirty grin. She broke the gaze coyly as she tried not to smirk at the ridiculous face he made. Okay, she'll bite. Eren did something right for once. This guy is actually a breath of fresh air to talk to. She reset her fingers on the keys and quickly returned to their conversation.

 **Mikasa:** That's them. Do you go there often? I wonder if I seen you without knowing it.

 _12:55_   _AM_

 **Levi:** Last time I went I only saw Ymir and Christa there, I guess you were hired afterward. I rarely go. Only when I need a setting change for writing, but most of the kids that place attracts doesn't make an ideal working atmosphere. But it does the trick when I'm desperate enough.

 _12:59_   _AM_

That's right, she almost forgot. He's a writer. She had to know more about that. She asked him about the work he does.

 **Levi:** I write a weekly column in the newspaper and I usually get a full-article gig once a month if I'm lucky for various sport, fitness and health magazines. I also run a blog, but it's not related to fitness. There's not really a theme. I just complain about whatever I want and people are tasteless enough to subscribe.

_1:07 AM_

After praising him for his impressive accomplishments, she went on to point out that dislike-list of his. When he mentioned he complains on his blog, she couldn't help but wonder how he has anything left to complain about after writing all that. Hell, if he can write all that on a  _dating website_ , she was a little scared to find out what he wrote on his personal blog.

 **Levi:**  That wall of text is hard to miss, huh? I just figured I'd be honest and let people get a good idea of who I am before messaging me. It really did a lot of good.

_1:16 AM_

**Mikasa:**  Really? Did you get a lot of messages or something?

_1:16 AM_

**Levi:**  Nope. Zero. Until tonight, of course. Just to add to how pathetic I sound, I've had the account for four months. Woe is me.

_1:17 AM_

**Levi:**  But it worked out well because I saved myself the headache of talking to people I wouldn't get along with/have no interest in.

_1:17 AM_

Mikasa's fingers wouldn't type the sudden thought that popped in her head. Her hands just— _froze_. After giving herself a second to ponder the worse possible outcome, she finally tried to word out her thoughts.

 **Mikasa:** I know it's really soon to ask, but, how can I put this...

_1:23 AM_

**Mikasa:** Do I give you a headache?

_1:23 AM_

**Mikasa:**  I mean, no hard feelings if I'm annoying you.

_1:23 AM_

Levi didn't start typing right away—and then she wished she could backspace her words and erase all traces of them from his mind. It was kind of weird to ask after an hour of talking, but she just wanted to make sure she wasn't bothering him. She knows she still has her immature moments (albeit not as bad as her peers) because she's young and that's to be expected, but Levi's a decade older than her and he seems to have very low patience. She likes talking to him, but she needed to know if the feelings were mutual.

 **Levi:**  So far so good. I'm not even a little irritated. It's a miracle.

_1:30 AM_

The air she kept hostage in her lungs finally escaped with a puff. He moved her hands to the keyboard with the intention of writing out something witty to return to the casual mood they established prior, until the thought she had in mind abandoned her when she saw the little pencil scribbling, indicating that Levi was typing. It erased a few times, then he'd stop typing all together. She wasn't sure if he just hit his keyboard by accident or if he was trying to write an addition to his reply. She didn't want to interrupt his train of thought by typing. The pencil started to move again. She waited for him to finish and her breath halted when the long-awaited message revealed itself.

 **Levi:** I really enjoy talking to you, Mikasa.

_1:37 AM_

A wave of pressure escaped her heart and flowed through her body when she read that. Seeing her typed name coming from him made her feel something she didn't quite understand. After the fluttery feeling faded, though, she felt utterly ridiculous. What was that all about? She barely knows this guy nor does she know what he looks like, yet she's getting all flustered at the first semi-sweet thing he says. She's really been single for far too long. At this rate she's going to get swept off her feet entirely too easy if she isn't careful.

After she recovered from his message, she replied back saying that she too enjoys talking to him. A half-hour of chatting went by, but they didn't land on a heavy topic due to the late hour. When she saw the time on one of Levi's replies saying _2:14 AM_ , she let out a yawn as she massaged the developed kink in her neck. Mikasa heard her bed calling for her, and so she said her goodbyes to Levi with promises of talking soon.


	2. Friends and Foes

A voice beside Mikasa rung out, but it barely registered in her mind. All she could hear was the words she internally recited as she tapped them out on her screen. After a moment, her eyes eagerly traveled the line of reply.

"Mikasa!" She jolted at the call. "Hellooo? Anyone in there?"

The dazed girl flicked her head up when a hand waving in front of her tablet screen obstructed her view and broke her concentration. She received an instant head rush from abruptly ripping her gaze from the tablet screen she's been glued to for the past two hours.

Slowly turning her neck to her left, she set down the device on her lap and noticed Eren squinting an eye on her. She blinked dumbly at him.

"Yo, I asked you to get me a can of Pepsi like five times."

Rubbing her stained eyes, she propped her screen back up on her bent knees and sunk deeper into the cushions, showing just how eager she was to meet his demands. "Do I look like your slave? Get it yourself."

"I'm watching the game, you're not."

Moving her gaze up just for a second, she reminded herself that the game was actually on, but she hadn't checked the score in what felt like ages. Looks like the Titan's are winning again.

"What's got you so distracted, anyway?" Sitting diagonal to them on the recliner, Jean (also known as Mikasa's ex-boyfriend and Eren's friendly foe) curled his neck back lazily and wiggled his way into the conversation."You never miss the game. Who are you talking to?"

Peeved at his big horse nose trying to butt into her personal life, she coiled the other way in her seat, not that facing Eren was any better, but Jean proved to be more vocal once his interest is picked. "No one you know."

"Uh, who do  _you_  know that  _I_  don't know? Seriously, we all have the same friends here."

Ignoring him and trying to type out a reply, Mikasa became distracted once again at the crinkling of the potato chip bag in Eren's lap. He piled a handful of chips in his mouth, more landing in the crevices of the couch cushions than his mouth. He didn't bother swallowing and instead spit crumbs as he spoke. "She's talking to her new 'mature and sophisticated' boyfriend, Levi. It's been nonstop for the past week."

" _Boyfriend?!_ " Jean erected from the couch with wobbly stance. Stomping in Mikasa's direction, he began flailing his arms as fast as his speech. "What the hell? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Hey—you're up. Get me a Pepsi." Eren asked dully, caring less about Jean's riled state. Mikasa could care less too. She had no obligation to inform anyone about who she spoke to. If anything, she was offended he'd assume she can't make friends outside their clique. Unlike Jean, Eren and the rest of the crew, she had a desire to meet more diverse people. Only so long can she bare being around these contrasting personalities before she snaps. They're all good people—but sometimes it's nice to talk to someone more on her level. Someone like Levi.

Jean stood paralyzed with his mouth flapping like a half-dead fish and Mikasa only had to hear one more word to trigger a migraine, but Eren and that one track mind of his only had one concern. "Do you not understand human words, horse man?  _P-e-p-s-i._ Fetch. _"_ Eren shooed him in the direction of the kitchen, but Jean merely returned the blandest, most unamused face he could muster at Eren. His expression was the official definition of  _done_.

"Quiet numbskull, adults are talking." He shook off Eren's request and moved his attention back to Mikasa, unfortunately, and she curled her legs up like a shield to block the round of questions heading her way. "What's the deal? Who's this  _Levi_  guy? I don't trust him, he seems fishy if he's not in our clique. I warned you that guys were going to start hitting on you left-and-right once you started college. Looks like you still fell in a trap already."

She had to set down her tablet for this. On her fingers, she pointed out everything wrong about Jean's claims. "First of all, I'm not entitled to tell you jack if I don't feel like it. Secondly, he's not my boyfriend. He's just a guy I talk to online, I haven't even met him yet. Thirdly, he's not a college student, he's a mature adult, so I didn't fall into any _"traps"_. Even if I did, that has nothing to do with you."

A mixture of resentment and displeasure dominated his face, like a mother looking at her rebellious teen. Mikasa grew bored of the judgmental stare and returned to her tablet.

"C'mooon Jeaaan." Eren whined and threw his head back like a toddler that wanted his sippy cup. Still not getting his friends attention, Eren threw a potato chip at him. It deflected off Jean's head and his attention popped back to Eren with knitted brows. "Gimme Pepsi."

Too bad the only member in their group of friends with any brains bailed on coming over for Monday Night Football tonight—Mikasa couldn't help but to wish the little peace maker was here. Armin tends to break up fights before they happen between Eren and Jean and he also has zero interest in sports, meaning he usually acts as Eren's personal butler and fetches all his snacks and beverages so Eren doesn't start throwing tantrums like this. That hospitality made Eren far too dependable on others waiting on him, though.

Jean threw his hands up and walked off. "Oh my fucking _God_ , fine, but there's no promises I won't piss in it."

"Yeah, ha-ha. Good luck pissing in a closed can."

Just when Mikasa thought there would be a minute of peace until Jean returned, that nosy instigator spoke from the counter that barricaded the kitchen from the living room. "We're not done talking, Mikasa. I need to know more about this asshat."

"Um, no. Pretty sure we're done talking. You're lucky I told you what I did."

A grunt traveled in from the kitchen and soon the maker of such an unsatisfied sound returned with the glorious and long-awaited can of heavenly Pepsi Eren so eagerly reached out for—but Jean recoiled it teasingly toward his chest.

"What gives? Give it to me!"

"Say thank you."

"Thank you," Eren spat and Mikasa was honestly taken back from the gratitude. Jean rammed the can into his hand and Eren widened a devious grin and added, "for being my  _bitch!_ "

He drew back the tab with his finger, a hiss sound played out and when Mikasa heard the dire sound release from the can, she already knew it was too late to stop the rupture from flowing.

The Pepsi Eren so desperately wanted rained down; the fizzy carbonated beverage had skyrocketed like a broken fountain. The foamy spray not only drenched the couch, the carpet and Eren, but it drizzled on Mikasa as well and splashed over her screen.

"Are you  _kidding me?_ " Mikasa shouted, standing up to dodge the remaining bursts escaping the can. She screamed some more, but it couldn't be heard over the roaring laughter coming from Jean as he fell back into the recliner, weak with pleasure and clean from the downpour. As he held his chuckling gut, he kicked his feet like a tickled child.

Realizing now that this was done on  _purpose_ , she reached a lethal level of rage. "Jean! Do you have any idea how long this is going to take to clean up?!"

"So fucking worth it. Yeager's face was priceless." Breathless with laughter as he was, he barely made the words out.

Instead of punching him square in the face like she wanted, Mikasa constrained her wrath deep in her gut and stomped into the kitchen to collect the cleaning supplies for Jean, because she _sure as hell_ isn't cleaning this mess up herself. She already spends too much time cleaning up after Eren like she's his mother away from home on a daily basis. Bless that woman for having the patience for him all these years; the least she could do is fill her spot while they're away studying, but she'll be damned if she has to clean up after Eren's friends too.

She dropped a number of cleaning products on the coffee table and flopped back to her spot on the couch with a paper towel in hand that she used to wipe the sugary droplets off her tablet screen. When she noticed Eren still boiling in silent rage and Jean still sitting with no intentions of cleaning, she pieced the air with a sharp, "Clean this up and get out, Jean."

A roar finally discharged from Eren, as if Jean's prank finally caught up with him. Eren has always been a bit slow. "There's going to be a bigger mess after I kill him!" Eren leaped from the couch and charged head-first and Jean stepped up for the challenge. Eren bumped his chest into him to share the mess between them, but Jean already won and a little stain on his shirt didn't matter. The taller man brushed Eren away with a grin, becoming even more satisfied as he watched Eren peel the drenched fabric way from his chest.

"You're buying me a new shirt! And giving me extra compensation because this just so happens to be my favorite!" Eren screamed through his teeth, his eyes revealing the death he wished upon his no-good friend.

"Okay first off all, you've been wearing that atrocious T-shirt since Middle School and I'm pretty sure its only been washed twice since then. Burn it already."

That migraine Mikasa tried so desperately to avoid came rushing into her like a bullet to the brain. "One of you clean this place up or I'll—"

But was she heard? No. Not over the bickering battle between two nimrods.

"Don't you _dare_ talk shit about my fashion sense, rich boy. Sorry I don't like pansy polo shirts and crappy cargo shorts."

"It's stylish, you swine. Not like you'd know what modern fashion is because you never leave the damn house. And let's not forget that the only new people you meet are naked men on the internet."

Jean got him there and Mikasa will silently commend him for that, but she knew that by him saying that the battle to the death was just declared. Even though the comeback was overused, it always worked on Eren because it's  _true_. Back in High School during the tail end of her and Jean's relationship, he walked in on Eren jacking off on webcam with a random stranger on Omegle and he's never been able to let it go. Jean likes to remind Eren constantly, who to this day still says the man on cam (that Jean described as 'hairy and beefy') was a girl.

"Mother fucker! I'll kill you!" Despite Eren being smaller than Jean, he tackled him effortlessly right to the floor and the attack looked more professional than the football players on the television behind them.

Mikasa shook her head away from the redundant fist fight and returned to the conversation in her lap.

**Mikasa:** Sorry I'm taking forever to reply. My roommate has his buddy over for MNF and let's just say they're recreating the highlights and giving me aneurysms.

_8:13 PM_

**Levi:**  You poor thing. It's no problem, though. What's the score, anyway? I'm too held up at the moment to check.

_8:14 PM_

**Mikasa:**  The Titans are killing the Saints 34-13. It's a lousy game, you're not missing much. By the way, if you're busy I can let you go.

_8:16 PM_

**Levi:**  No, I'm not busy. I'm just away from home at the moment. I'm discussing my next project with my editor and it's as boring as it sounds.

_8:18 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Doesn't sound boring to me. Are you going to write another article?

_8:18 PM_

**Levi:**  Yeah, it's not as interesting as it seems, though.

_8:19 PM_

As he waited for a reply, Levi reluctantly removed his gaze from his cellphone and let his eyes refocus from the small print by flitting his blinking sight around the restaurant. He's been here two hours already and the high-class atmosphere has long since become old. He finished his meal and two glasses of wine, but judging by the stacks of papers strewn across the table and his fussy editor engaged in work-mode sorting through said papers, he wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

And to make it worse, his ears were suddenly attacked by a commanding tone from across the table.

"Is it too greedy to ask you to play attention for longer than five minutes? You'll have to start working on this tomorrow and you need to understand all the points you have to cover."

"Write them down, I'll figure it out as I go." Levi reached for his glass and took a sip, trying to ignore the peeved blue eyes boring back at him. Erwin hasn't looked this fed-up since Levi had his early mid-life crisis.

"What's got your concentration all skewed? You're the type that always says you left your phone at home—now you're typing away on it like your life depends on it."

"I only tell  _you_  that so I have an excuse why I didn't answer you."

Erwin's head rolled with a groan when the phone buzzed again, but the editor slipped in a reply before Levi could douse himself in his phone and tuned him out once again. "Levi, I'm serious. We have work to do."

And Levi was seriously annoyed, but instead cooled his twitching nerve by replying back to Mikasa, trying to hide the smile tugging at his lips. She sure does show a lot of interest in his writing, always asking questions and saying she'd like to read his work. He keeps holding it off and avoiding the subject of letting her read one of his articles, but perhaps one day he'll let her give them a read. 

Erwin spoke the truth before, though. Levi never saw himself as one of those people that lived on their phone. In fact, he couldn't stand those people that tapped away on their cells in public, especially if they're with company. It's just rude and pathetic to be that dependent on technology and socializing. This peeve of his is proudly displayed on his dislike-list on his dating profile and also something he brought up quite often on his blog—but here he is, in public with a companion and a cellphone in his hand. Truly dishonorable but he's not even a little bit sorry.

"Who are you talking to anyway? Isabel, Farlan? There isn't an emergency, right?" Judging by the way he said it unaffectionately, Levi translated that as: 'It  _better_  be an emergency.' Even if he actually was caught in the middle of a family crisis, that probably wouldn't be a good enough excuse for his workaholic friend and coworker.

The only reason Levi regarded his question and didn't ignore him like he has been for the past two hours was because Mikasa put him on hold, telling him that she needs to break up her friend's fight before one of them kills each other.

"No. And it's nothing serious. I'm just chatting with someone."

Erwin chuckled, unsurely, not knowing if a laugh would land him a punch in the face. It nearly did judging by the expression Levi made.

"Chatting? Okay." Erwin humored him and folded his arms, leaning back into the press of the booth. He pondered with a grin. "I know you would just turn your phone off or chuck it across the room if it were Hanji, so we could scratch that off the list. You already said it wasn't Isabel or Farlan—and you can't  _possibly_  be chatting with an executive, because you'd never be that enthusiastic about scoring a job." Erwin expanded his arms and heaved up his shoulders. "I'm stumped. Completely. You win. Care to fill me in now?"

It's so annoying when he tries to figure situations out on his own like that. Given that Erwin looks more like a model than a retired Commander and present-day editor, Levi could safely say that the quirk is one of Erwin's worse (and probably only) flaws. But then again, battle strategizing and figuring out enemy motives used to be one of Erwin's strongest points back in their army days. Go figure. It's really no wonder why he can't let the habit go.

Most of the time Erwin's predictions are accurate as hell and he can't hide a thing from him. Levi never had a mother of his own, but knowing Erwin made him feel like he did with the way the man fiddles with his life and tries to involve himself constantly. And just like a mother, he had a knack for knowing when something was up.

But this time, Levi didn't give him enough of information to play with. That on it's own was a little satisfying. Erwin asking him to explain something to him for a change is a God-like feeling that will only come once a millennium.

But, that power he holds against him will be wasted because now that he's waiting for Mikasa to return and he doesn't want to be a responsible adult and focus on the job he landed, he'll use this topic as an excuse to waste more time until it hopefully reaches a late enough hour and they'll have to make-do with what they have.

"Alright, fine. I'll tell you. But God fucking help you if you laugh, I'll torture you horribly,  _and_  I'll fire you."

"Why would I laugh? This actually sounds more serious than I thought." Erwin's brows sunk in concern, then let on in a whisper, "You aren't in any kind of trouble, right?"

Levi found that phrasing amusing and shook his head. It really depended on the definition of  _trouble_  he was implying. He could honestly say that he is in a little bit of trouble because he's slowly but surely falling for a girl he's never met.

"I met a girl," he said quickly, then reluctantly added, "...on a dating website."

Erwin's lips started to slowly curl like the fucking Grinch and Levi's expression went soft to hard quicker than a provoked dick. "The _fuck_ did I just say?" Beneath the table, Levi's rammed the tip of his shoe into Erwin's shin despite being warned in the past that he can't be violent or curse in five star restaurants. But Levi gave zero fucks.

"Sorry, sorry." Erwin recovered from rubbing his aching shin, "I wasn't laughing, honestly. It's just—that's surprising. It's been, what, five-or-six years since you had a girlfriend?"

"Don't remind me." Another sip of wine later, Levi had his thoughts organized and his shoulders slumped. Keeping dull focus on the swishing wine in his glass as he rotated the stem, he propped his head in hand and told his long story short. "One day I woke up and realized I'm thirty and miserable and live alone. I sort of had a mid-life crisis and I refused to leave my bed, I'm sure you remember that splendid week. Then just to make myself feel better I signed up for a dating website, thinking that I might actually meet someone there because I'm shit at meeting new people in real life."

That's how it's always been; either he scares people away or doesn't try hard enough to meet new people, or let them into his life for that matter. Levi's been sticking with the same crowd of people for years and hasn't accumulated any spare acquaintances since. The number of people he was close to could be counted on one hand. He grew up with his foster brother and sister, Isabel and Farlan and met Erwin and his eccentric friend Hanji in the army. Other than a few friend-of-friends that he hung out with sometimes, like Mike and Moblit, he hasn't met anyone new.

Erwin hunched over the table, arms crossing and fully invested in the tale. "Ah, I do remember when I couldn't get you to leave your bedroom and you had three late articles due and I was left to defend myself against the angry printers. That was truly a nightmare. I still get flashbacks. You wouldn't tell me why you lost all motivation and I assumed you just had the blues or writers block. Makes a little more sense now. But for the record, you're still young, Levi. And you don't really live  _alone_ and you have friends that care about you. You don't  _need_  a girlfriend to be happy but I'm glad you're putting yourself out in the field again. Good for you."

"Uh, Angel hardly counts as a  _roommate_ , Erwin. And my friends, like you, are annoying or weird. I don't know any girls that I relate to, neither have I met one I have chemistry with in recent memory. In all honesty, I'm really sick of being alone." Admitting that took more courage than he had, which was a lot. "You know I never gave a shit when I was younger about dating—but now that I'm older I just have this desire to start settling down with someone." To avoid Erwin's eyes piercing into him, he swished his wine glass around. "It sounds stupid but that's how I feel. I'm not looking to get married or have kids right now but I would like someone to come home to and give me company eventually; a girl that I actually have something in common with that doesn't annoy the living shit out of me."

A glisten sparked in Erwin's eyes and a delicate pull lifted at his lips. That disgusting, endearing look he gave him made Levi regret letting his lips loose. He cursed his wine for being the culprit. Erwin nudged his chin up and eyed Levi's phone. "And this girl meets all your requirements?"

"Believe it or not, yes. I literally have zero complaints about her so far."

Erwin let his head fall gently back in subtle shock, finally realizing how serious Levi was being, that he wasn't simply screwing around on his phone. "Oh, wow. You need to put a ring on her before she gets away. I don't think I've ever heard you say you had no complaints about anyone. Either you're getting sweeter in your old age our this girl is The One."

"It's hard to say if she's The One yet. I'm not even sure if we'd hit it off in person."

It's true, he really had nothing bad to say about Mikasa in this point in time. Never once has he caught himself rolling his eyes in boredom or sighing at something ridiculous said. The only part that made Levi doubtful about Mikasa is their age gap. When she first messaged him and he did a quick scan through her profile, he almost didn't write her back because of her age. He assumed she might be some preppy college bimbo that already exhausted all the matches in her area and was settling for him. But he gave her a whirl anyway and he's glad he didn't let his assumptions ruin his chance of meeting a wonderful girl.

She's still very young and has a lot to experience, yes, but in all honesty that doesn't bother him much now that he's got the gist of her personality. She's mature, to say the least and they have more things in common than he could list. But he's just afraid she might not be looking for the same type of relationship as him and that single thought is his one and only true doubt about this whole affair—or the affair it may become.

Levi has reached that point in his life where he really wants to settle down and stick with one person for the rest of his days, if possible. He's done with searching for a date and meaningless hook-ups; he has been for a long time. But Mikasa is just entering college, the time for experimenting and cutting loose and sleeping with a new person every night. As far as he could tell, she doesn't seem like that type at all, but anyone that young will want to see the whole menu before settling on an order.

Levi already tried everything and grew tired of it all. He just wants something stable and meaningful in his life. He doesn't know if Mikasa is the answer to his desires, but all he knows is he does like her and he'd be lying if he wasn't secretly hoping for the best outcome.

"So you haven't met her in person?"

Levi shook his head. "We just talk on Skype a lot. But we'll probably meet soon. She lives right on campus at Trost University so it's not like we'd have a long-distance relationship if we did get together. Even though I never met her I have a good feel for what she's all about, and like I said I have no current complaints. She doesn't even use  _emoticons_ or  _text-slang_. Do you know how much that says about a person?"

"...Uh, no?" Erwin looked lost, then mimicked his question back to him, "What does using emoticons and text-slang say about a person?"

"Hanji and Isabel 'communicate' with me that way. How is the 'X' and 'D' face even a relevant response in any situation?" Levi didn't think he had to remind Erwin of the connection that made to their hyperactive personalities. Erwin nodded his head, understanding his drift now—even though he's a horrible offender himself by texting Levi with 'lol' and 'lmao' like he's a damn teenager texting for the first time on his mothers flip phone.

"How long have you been talking to her?"

"A little over a week. Doesn't seem like much but we chat throughout the whole evening every night. It's scary to say but I'm actually getting into a routine with her now."

"Hm. Well I'm glad you found someone you like, truly I am and I hope for the best between you two. But—if you talk to her that much, I think you can afford to break that routine to spare an hour from her and lend that time to me."

The phone vibrated on the table as Levi sent him a crushing gaze. He just poured his personal life out and Erwin still got his head invested in the job. Some things never changed. He was like this back in their days on the field too. He sent him a spiteful smirk before reading the new message.

**Mikasa:**  I've returned from the battle unscathed. The situation is under control now.

_8:33 PM_

**Levi:**  Welcome back, white knight. Are they really that bad? Sounds like you have your hands full with them.

_8:33 PM_

**Mikasa:**  I'm used to it. They like to pretend they're not friends despite spending every day with each other. I've been splitting them up for too many years. It's basically mundane routine by now.

_8:35 PM_

**Levi:**  I commend your bravery. Try to be careful though. A girl could get hurt getting between two guys roughhousing.

_8:36 PM_

**Mikasa:** Did you somehow forget that I'm a black belt and can bench 210lbs?

_8:36 PM_

**Levi:** Silly me. I somehow overlooked those little details. But anyway, hate to say this but I'll have to catch up with you later. My editor is going put me through the wringer if I don't get this meeting over with. Hopefully I'll be back around ten and we can talk then if you want.

_8:37 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Sounds good. I'll talk to you later. Good luck with the rest of your meeting.

_8:38 PM_

After clicking send, Mikasa drew down the tab and set her status to _Away_. With a stretch, she lifted herself off the couch with the intention of heading into the shower. She told herself if she doesn't get her nightly routine over with now, then she'll end up holding it off until morning and talk to Levi until two am like she's been doing every night. That's something she needs to stop doing, even if it means sacrificing some time from her and Levi's conversations because she barely has enough of time to get ready in the morning as it is.

"Would you look at that, the spell has been broken and she has will of her own again. Did your boyfriend get sick of you already and dump you?" Jean teased, his eye skirted with a tint of purple from where Eren landed a punch on him. She hates to see Eren get violent, but that horse-face deserved that punch after all the drama he stirred up tonight and if he doesn't want a matching bruise on his other eye he really should quit while he's ahead.

"Didn't I tell you to go home, Jean?"

"Yeah, go home asshole. Don't ever come back." Eren sulked on the corner of the couch, nursing a few of his own bruises on his arms.

"Whatever," he peeled off the recliner with a huff and a wave. "I'll see you guys in class tomorrow." The moment Jeans's presences left, a weight lifted off Mikasa. Hopefully the treatment of the hot shower will relieve her remaining stress and remove the left over tension in her stiff muscles.

Ruffling her wet hair with a towel, Mikasa made a quick turn and entered her dark bedroom. Before she switched on the light, she saw her phone lit up and buzzing on her night stand. At first she assumed it was a Skype notification from Levi, but when she came closer and saw  _One New Text Message_ , she knew it could only be one person.

During her time in the shower she really looked forward to throwing on her pajamas, sliding into bed and watching crappy movies on Netflix while she complained about them with Levi. But a quick meet-up with Sasha didn't sound too terrible right now; not that she was really feeling up for frozen yogurt or walking down the block in this chilly weather, but she hasn't seen Sasha in a while and it would be nice to catch up. She's been adjusting to her new job, likewise regarding herself. Just talking to a girl in general would be a blessing after spending so much time with two bickering boys all day.

After stepping into her jeans, she threw on a thick copper-color jacket that reached her midsection and bordered her neck in her favorite red scarf. As she struggled to get her toes in her shoe, she leaned against the arch of her bedroom door and called out to Eren, who looked to be melted in with the couch as he watched cartoons intended for people half his age.

"I know you'll say no, but I'm going out with Sasha to get some frozen yogurt. Wanna come?"

"Nah." Eren scratched his exposed belly and let out a lazy yawn. That answer was to be expected. He had such a tiring, busy day of laying on the couch and eating.

"Alright, you know I always offer." She stepped across the living room and fixed her hair from afar in the mirror hanging over the couch. The moan that dispensed from Eren was worthy of a zombie as he shooed her away. That was Mikasa's cue to step out from blocking the television. "See ya later, Eren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, Eren's personality will progressively become more obnoxious as the story goes (in an adorable way). If he lived in our time and never went through any trauma, I picture him being a dumb lazy slob who likes unfunny memes and surfs 4chan all day and acts like a total ragetard. Best headcanon ever.


	3. FroYo and Plotting

Standing idle in the queue of Yogurtland, Mikasa sifted through her purse in search of her phone as her bubbly friend beside her drooled up at the menu, shivering her shoulders lustfully as she murmured the number of sugary flavors like a seductive chant beneath her breath.

Mikasa never believed in the ridiculous term ' _foodgasm_ ' until the day she met Sasha back in high school. Food to her is what flamboyant boy band members are to preteen girls.

Every time she went out for a bite with her, Mikasa would cross her fingers and hope they didn't get thrown out (because on more than one occasions, they actually  _have_ been asked to leave restaurants for her behavior). Luckily, they were familiar with one of the tolerant employees here, but for their sake Mikasa hoped Sasha would contain her beastly cravings so they wouldn't have mop up her drool off the freshly gleaming tile. Most of the cleaning duties were already completed judging by the wet floor signs and lemony scent blocking the smells of dry fruit and sugar—it's that late hour of the night where most tasks are already complete, but Mikasa feared the yogurt shop would look like it fell victim to an elementary food fight by the time they took their leave. She'd hate if her busy friend had to stay late to clean up for a second time.

"S...So many combinations..."

"Sasha. Remember that time we discussed self control?"

"Of  _course_ I do. I was eating a sack of seasoned potato wedgies and they tasted  _amazing_."

Mikasa's going out on a whim here, but she assumed Sasha didn't hear a single word she said over all her chewing, slurping and moaning that day: the effects of the foodgasm were much more severe then, now that she recalled. Tonight isn't so bad in comparison.

By the time they were next to be served, Mikasa finally fished out the phone out from her cluttered bag and checked if she had a new notification from Levi (she didn't, sadly). While returning her phone and swinging the strap back over her shoulder, she noticed that a swarm of customers were starting to expose fretful stares at her friend, who looked about to jump over the counter and devour all the tubs of yogurt like a wild bear—and that was far from a stretch; she really would do exactly that. Mikasa has witnessed these feeding frenzies for herself many times over the years and it was more nerve-wreaking than watching a cheetah take down an antelope on an Animal Planet documentary. The aftermath was always just as devastating and messy.

"Can you not." Mikasa whispered in warning.

Sasha, seemingly in a hunting mode fiercely hissed when Mikasa startled her with a bump in the arm in hopes of knocking her back to reality, but that just triggered her animalistic side more.

Honestly, she's a normal girl, really, but put her around food and she'll turn into a hungry beast that hasn't eaten in days. When she's in starvation mode (it roughly comes around every hour) her bite becomes as fierce as a python during its weekly feeding session.

"I can't help it! There's so many choices, I want them all!" And Mikasa is pretty sure she could actually sit here all night and guttle the shops entire supplies if given the funds and time to do so.

After they decided on what to order, the two girls waved down the employee, who seemed to be working the shift solo and trying her best to multitask between making orders and taking them. Seemingly out of breath, the girl sporting pigtails approached the counter, readying her hands of the register and forced out the last remaining drops of enthusiasm she could spare.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, guys. It's a busy night. All the kids always rush in here an hour before we close."

"No problem. How've you been, Mina?" Mikasa asked, returning the girls contagious smile.

"Long time no see!" Sasha lit up with a peppy wave. "Everything good?"

"Pretty swell, but this job is taking its toll on me. We really need to find more people for this shift. We're so short handed." Mina closed her eyes to reward herself with momentously rest and caught her breath. She looks as if she hasn't caught a break since her shift began.

Looks like Mikasa isn't the only one who landed a cruddy job. The only difference is her job at Starbucks isn't understaffed; the employees are there and accounted for—but they're about as helpful as Eren contributing to the house chores. Her coworkers are just impressively lazy—well, one of them are, the other is just easily manipulated by her laid back girlfriend.

"You two wouldn't happen to know anyone that needs a job, right?" Mina passed off the hint lightly with a giggle, but the question sounded more like a desperate plea than a casual question.

"Oh, oh!" Sasha rose her hand and Mikasa had the urge to remind her she wasn't in class. "Connie's looking for a job! Say, if he gets a job here, could his bestfriend get discounts?" Stealthy, she hunched over and blocked her cunning pitch with the side of her hand. "We can totally keep it on the DL, just saying."

"Um..." A sweat drop slid down Mina's cheek at the pressuring question. The girl chuckled uncertainly and put her down easy. "I don't think so... but please let him know there's a position available, we could really use his help."

"Will do! I'll text him now," she whipped out her cell from her jacket pocket and nudged Mikasa with an elbow. "You can go ahead and order before me so we don't keep up the line."

Mikasa was surprised by Sasha's observation because she just now noticed for herself the string of people that had lined up behind them. She turned back to face her very nervous friend gazing over her shoulder at all the people she had to tend to before the shop closed.

Holding her weight on the counter, Mikasa double checked the menu to be sure she ordered the right one. "I'll have the Dragon Passion Tart. ...Does that come in fat-free?"

"Psh!" Sasha spat as her thumbs typed on her phone. "You're already in amazing shape, you can afford to eat some fat."

"I won't be for long if I keep eating junk. We can't all have a great metabolism like you."

"Hehe."

"Most of the fruit yogurt here is fat-free, so no worries." Mina assured.

Sasha exchanged her phone for her wallet from her purse, "Connie's at the library studying with Armin at the moment, but his head is about to explode so he's heading over here before the shop closes. Is that cool?"

"That's great!" The girl cheered. At least she got a little mood boost before taking on the hungry hoard behind them. "I'm glad to hear he's interested. I'll give him my bosses number when he gets here. So what could I get you, Sasha?"

What couldn't you get her was a more effective question to ask. Sasha started voicing her order, that became longer than a speech in lecture hall as she adding a string of toppings to her plain yogurt likes M&Ms, cookie dough, and brownie bites, completely neglecting the fact that yogurt is suppose to be somewhat  _healthy_. The customers started to grumble impatiently and Mina had that panicked look in her eyes again as her memory was being tested while she desperately tried to retain the entirely of the order. Now that Sasha is becoming a regular here, they really should enforce a topping-limit for everyone's sake.

Knowing her order would take a while, Mikasa left with intentions of saving a free seat before the crowd of students piling in gobbled them all up. All the good seats by the window were taken by rowdy students unwinding after a long day of studying, but thankfully she secured a four-seated table in the middle on the shop. It was better than resorting to the icy seats outside; frozen yogurt could only be enjoyed inside here with the heat roaring though vents, not outside in the peek of December with light flurries dusting in your face.

Just as Mikasa looked back to see how much longer she'd take, Sasha was headed for the table, carefully nursing Mikasa's Dragon Passion and her own towering mountain of sweets topping her unseen yogurts in the cup. She staggered awkwardly to keep the heap balanced enough not to lose a single M&M on the way and Mikasa couldn't help but wonder how much all those extra added toppings cost.

It's a good thing Sasha has a job now so she could afford her outstanding food bill. Mikasa could still hear her desperate cries when she had to eat microwaved Top Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner during her first few weeks of college. Mikasa felt pity for her and would drop her off some fast food and bags of potato chips when she could just so the girl would quit questioning the meaning of life without tasty food anymore.

Sasha couldn't even wait until she sat down to start digging in sloppily, licking the yogurt that melted down on her fingers from the plastic spoon. Her shoulders shivered from a zestful chill as her eyes rolled heavenward with satisfaction. In the blink of an eye, she already dug out and consumed half of the cups portion.

The shop blared with energetic chatter and the speakers set on the walls played the local college radio station. The duo DJ's often played the Top 40 with no commercial breaks; only goofing around and taking calls ensued between songs. After a few weeks of hearing the broadcasts nearly everywhere, Mikasa soon became fond of the station and found herself actually using her car radio for the first time since she got it.

Currently, they were giving a run down of current events going on around campus; nothing of importance but they were charismatically gifted enough to make even boring topics sound interesting—  _they_ mainly referring to  _Armored-Bro_ —the talkative DJ with a friendly vibe in his tone that does most of the talking on the show.

The other host, who goes by the name  _Colossal-D_ (one could only  _wonder_  where that name came from), shies away from the mic often times, but Mikasa enjoyed a few of the interviews he did with local bands and he seems to be a perfect target for his co-host that loves to ruffle his feathers with double entendres and teasing, which always gives the listeners a laugh. They're total opposites, but they seem to have a close bond and when they're live on the air they almost feed off each others energy.

She heard their nicknames were created among each other for fun and the audience stuck to the alias's after a while, but they had yet to reveal their true identities. She figured they don't want to reveal their real names and become local celebrities on campus, which is understandable because from bookworms to stoners and even dropout that pollute the outskirts of Trost University, everyone tunes in for their show and the DJ's are immensely loved.

The late night shows on the weekends are, plainly put,  _hilarious_. At this point it's practically school tradition for the students to drop everything and emerge themselves in the show. Nearly everyone on campus tunes in and calls for requests or to answer pop culture trivia. But as the hours pass, the rating of the show boosts up quite a bit as the callers get drunker and more daring.

Mikasa never summoned enough courage to call up the show herself, but a few weekends ago, her and Sasha, along with the rest of their flock were hanging together back at her and Eren's place and Sasha had the brilliant idea of ordering pizza. Fun fact: The radio station and Domino's is only a number apart and she ended up making an ass out of herself live on the air. Now the DJ's have her voice recognize and refer to her as Pizza Girl every time she calls in for a song request. Needlessness to say, Sasha makes sure to double check the numbers she inputs from now on.

"It's good that Connie might get a job here." Sasha said as she marveled her sight around the shop like a first-time tourist at an exotic location. She really loves this place—let's leave it at that.

"Well if he does get hired here, try not to goof off too much when you come in."

"Hey, I'm a responsible adult now, you know!" She confidently declared with spots of chocolate on her cheeks and a layer of yogurt skirting her mouth.

Mikasa nodded incredulously. "Speaking of which, how's your new job?"

After licking the remaining bits of creme from her lips, she threw her head back with a gravely sigh. "Ugh, waiting tables is  _hard_." She punched the kink in her shoulder, appearing completely exhausted all of a sudden. "I make great tips though and my bosses are friendly. The cook there is the sweetest. Her and I pig out at the end of the night on all the leftovers for free. My other owner is more of a strict smart-ass, but overall he's been such a understanding sweetheart with most of my amateur mistakes. So far I love it."

"That's good to hear."

"What about you? Getting the hang of making coffee at the Hipster Hangout?"

"Please don't call it that." Just the mention of coffee triggered a war-like flashbacks to surface. "I was never much of a coffee drinker to begin with so all these combinations are a headache to remember, but when it's not rush hour it's not too bad. The people I work with aren't too terrible either, but I wish they helped out a bit more."

"You'll get used to it. Just you wait, you'll be making  _Frappé-Mocha-Latte's_  like a pro in no time!"

Mikasa had literally no desire to become a professional at such a thing. This job is only temporary to aid in some expenses her allowance from her parents and Eren's don't cover. Her parents had put down the down payment of their apartment and paid the utility bills and Carla and Grisha were to kind enough to pay their monthly rent. The rest of the money they lent them went to books and food, but of course no amount of money is enough for a struggling college student.

As much as she hates her job, Mikasa is just grateful to have one at all and is hoping she'll get more hours eventually. At the very least, she'd like to take over some of the bills and remove a little weight from their parents since they've already done plenty. They wouldn't need their help at all if Eren just got off his lazy ass and got a job, but that's unlikely so they'll probably end up mooching off them for the entirety of their college lives.

"So what else is new?" Sasha wondered. "Besides the job, I mean."

Absentmindedly, Mikasa kept her eyes on the plastic spoon stirring around her barely-touched cup. "Same old."

"Hm?" Sasha tilted her head with beady eyes that blinked curiously. "Didn't your text say you needed to talk to me about something? It sounded important."

The rotating motion came to a sudden stop. That's right—when she knew she was meeting up with Sasha, the first thought that popped in her mind was to tell her all about Levi and how utterly  _perfect_  he is: only a natural reaction to have with a bestfriend—but now that she's seated in front of her she felt a little daunted about just saying that outright it in person.

"Right... I  _want_  to tell you, but..." she dragged on suspense unintentionally, not wanting to go and blur out something so embarrassing.

"C'mon! Tell me tell me tell me!" Sasha bounced in her seat impatiently, cheering to motivate her.

The way Sasha begged took her back to her high school days, back in the cafeteria when she first told her that she was dating Jean. Mikasa only hoped that whatever is starting between Levi and her wouldn't end the same way it did with him.

"...I met a guy."

Of course, right on cue with Mikasa's confession, Sasha piled in a mouthful—and she nearly spit it out from shouting, " _What?!_ "

Mikasa sank low in her chair, for Sasha had drew all attention in the room to them; the eyes on her made her flush. She kept her voice low, hoping Sasha would follow with the same tone. "Well, I haven't really  _met_  him yet, we met online."

"Whoa, wait. Back up." Sasha placed down her spoon and that on its own made Mikasa more shocked than her friend. "We didn't talk in a week and you suddenly meet  _a_   _guy?_ "

This reaction of hers wasn't anticipated—but in all fairness, Mikasa ought to learn how to add a prelude before bluntly spoiling the conclusion. She'd never been much of a story teller, though.

When Mikasa didn't give in for a confirmation, Sasha pleaded, "Don't go all quiet now! Tell me about him!"

Without realizing, her finger had started to loop around a loose string of hair as she thought of the faceless man. "His name is Levi—I'm not sure what I could say..." she had  _plenty_ to say, but if she started she might not stop and the last thing she wants is to come off as a snobby girl bragging about a guy—a guy she barely knew. That would just be downright pathetic, but she's starting to realize it's a little too late to dodge feeling that way since she had already accidentally become attached to the stranger in a short amount of time.

Sasha groaned with a neck roll. "Just tell me what he likes—anything!"

"Fine." She revealed a tiny smile and the following came out with little effort. "He's a writer, a veteran and likes fitness, sports, fighting and health, just like me."

"...Whoa. Okay," Sasha's mouth had unhinged and she pressed her palms against the table in shock, sucking in breath. "Was  _not_ expecting that introduction. He seems...Wow. But please, go on!" She urged, both hands now holding up her blushing cheeks. "What's he like?"

She looked around the shop for inspiration as she searched for the perfect word to describe Levi. "He's...unique." Mikasa couldn't hold back the smile begging to be released any longer. "Quaint is also a perfect word to describe him. Very intelligent. Funny, but not in an over-the-top kind of way. You can tell he's not trying to make a joke; snarkiness is just apart of his natural personality. I really like that about him."

"Hm, I see." Sasha leaned in, humming a cheery tune. "By the way, you're blushing, Mika~"

Not-so-discreetly, she lifted her scarf up to conceal the heat and pout displaying boldly on her face. "Am not. It's just hot in here."

"Sure." Sasha played along, fanning herself off from heat exhaustion, but the action suddenly stopped when she snapped a finger at her like a judge giving a verdict. "Or maybe  _Levi_ is just too hot for you." She winked and her shoulders rattled with a giggle at the face Mikasa made. "Is he cute?"

"I don't know what he looks like yet, " she mumbled disappointingly, her eyes straying. "But now that I got to know him, I don't really care what he looks like as long as his online personality shifts over well in the real world. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm  _really curious_  about his appearance though."

"You guys should meet up!"

That's an obvious solution to Mikasa's dilemma, but it's not that simple. "We've only been talking a week. Isn't that too soon? He hasn't gave any hints saying he wanted to meet and I don't want to insist and make him uncomfortable."

"Does he live around here? Maybe you can subtly bump into him, you know, ' _by chance'_." She air quoted and squinted side-to-side like a villain conducting a mastermind plot.

"How could I do that without asking him out directly? I'd have no idea where to find him." Then it hit her. Sasha's wording inspired an idea, not that she's sure she'd go through with it yet. "Well... he does go to a gym near my job. I wonder if I could fish him out of the crowd somehow." It would be less pressuring on both of them if they  _just-so-happened_  to run into each other in public instead of asking, because at this point neither of them probably want to be too direct, it's just not their personalities.

"You should totally try that! It can't hurt—besides, you said he's  _unique_ , so if you idle around long enough he's bound to stand out to you. Do you know the rough timeslot he goes?"

"Usually the mornings." She lowered her voice some, naïve concern on her face. "Isn't that kind of... _stalking_ , though? I don't want him to think I went there just to find him. That's kind of creepy." But then she remembered that she's been dying to check out Stohess Fitness. Based on Levi's description, it seems like a great place to work-out with plenty of activities and equipment to make exercising fresh and exciting. Not to mention it's supposedly packed with a friendly community of helpful and energetic people. "But honestly I want to check out the gym for myself, not just to find him."

"Yeah yeah, whatever helps you reach your goal, creeper." Sasha bit her spoon to contain her excitement. "If I were you, I'd go for it. The worse that could happen is you don't find him or miss him by a few minutes. It's worth a shot. Even if you figure out who he is and don't approach him, at least you can put a face to the messages while you continue getting to know him online. Then you can officially meet when you both feel you're ready."

Her convincing was about as tempting as the Birthday Batter yogurt she's been eyeing up since she walked in. When Sasha is freshly fed with brain food, she becomes rather smart—but little did Mikasa know, this idea would later backfire and be marked as a horrible mistake.

The bell on the shops door chimed when it swished open, letting in a frozen chill that blew the back of Mikasa's hair. She barely noticed but Sasha hopped in her seat, waving for the attention of the new walk-in. "Connie~! Over here!"

Mikasa twisted around in her seat and gave the lost looking a boy a wave as well to help guide him further through the crowded shop. The girls took the role of air traffic control while they tried to direct the dimwitted pilot who just obtained their flying license. Finally spotting them, he flicked his chin in acknowledgment and plodded over.

"So. Armin's a manipulative little shit," he greeted them with that great conversation opener as he helped himself to a seat at their table, pulling the chair and falling into the seat with an agitated attitude.

"We kind of agreed on this years ago, but what has he done this time?" Mikasa wondered.

Connie squinted with a cringe and allowed his eyes to close. He was either beyond tired or adjusting to the brightness of the shop was too much strain. "He's a great tutor, don't get me wrong, but he's practically a slave driver. He guilt-tripped me into staying an extra five hours at the library today. Five.  _Five!_ " He groaned disgustedly. "I understand studying overtime but that's a little extreme. My head is killing me from reading so much."

With concern on her face, Sasha pat his buzzed head like a Pomeranian after its been neutered. "Poor thing. You just need some froyo—freezing that head of yours oughta cut off all activity and make you feel like yourself again."

Connie curled his lip at her. "Is there any left, you cow?"

"Plenty." Sasha scooped from her cup of yogurt and lunged the spoon forward, slicing through his lips before he could protest.

Now that Connie is busy choking, this might be Mikasa's time to get a word in between these two. "I assumed Armin was coming with you, is he  _still_  at the library?"

Connie beat in his chest to settle the remaining coughs, then draped an arm over the backrest. "I tried to steal him away from that depressing place, but he said he needs to cram for another hour or two. He's off his game from being over-worked, which is probably why I managed to escape. I don't know where that kid holds all that information."

"Well most functioning humans have brains to store knowledge, I wouldn't expect you to understand, Connie." Sasha teased.

"Do you want another spanking?!"

Mikasa isn't even going to question that threat. In fact, she choose not to question their relationship at all a  _long_  time and decided to look the other way all these years while passing off their friendship as normal, despite the fact that it isn't. At all. But one thing she's sure of is what they have together is special.

These two must have been best friends in many past lives to have developed the close bond they have now. They have their moments, like now where they tease and bicker, but she never saw two people so in sync with each other before.

Connie and Sasha met back in high school and Mikasa still remembers the screeching of sneakers and echoing shouts in the school gymnasium. That day had been the kickoff cause to the effect. Sasha had been caught eating during class (typical) and the coach gave her a rough licking before sending her off to run laps for the rest of the period. Exhausted, she had collapsed and Mikasa was the one to pick her up and transported her to the nurse station.

A rebellious boy with a buzz cut and an over-size leather jacket had been sitting in a chair with folded arms when they arrived, with a mug on his face that suggested he had a million other better places to be. He was in there getting his cuts bandaged up after getting in a brawl in the parking lot with a couple of other hoodlums.

Connie was such a wanna-be delinquent back then; tough guy with a face of a sweetheart and too caring for his own good. That reputation of a bully he tried building up for himself was completely abandoned when he met Sasha, though. It was like he found the calling in life when he met her.

They hit it off immediately while the nurses took care of them and by the time the last bell of the day rang out, they were bestfriends and practically skipped side by side off to the arcade down the street.

They started off as high school buddies skipping class to attend unassigned lunch periods and now they're college pals that haven't changes a bit—except they exchanged some of their old hobbies for bongs and an obsession with comic books now. Mikasa had a feeling that the two of them will be old and gray one day and will still be goofing off, playing pranks on each other and pulling each others fingers for the giggles.

"By the way," Connie leaned back with his eyes on Mikasa. "I tried calling Eren on the way here to check in—is that kid alright? I couldn't help but to get the impression that he's...like... _on crack_."

"Oh, Christ. He's not on crack, Connie. Really, he's been like this for a few years, it's nothing new—it's just he could be more open now that he's out of his parents house."

Connie scratched at his buzzed head, confused by her phrasing. "Yeah I guess... but I can't get him out of the house. I thought he was just ditching me but I think it's more than that."

"It's not just you, trust me. He never goes anywhere with me either. I don't know why he's become such a hermit. He barely even makes it to class." And when he does he doesn't even bother dressing properly or taking a shower. Professor Pixis is getting tired of him coming in late with just his stained PJ's and Mikasa is sure the students who sit behind him don't appreciate him browsing porn on his laptop during class—especially when his headphone jack occasionally rips out and the classroom ambiance resembles a cheap whore house.

This happened three times already and Eren hasn't ever shown a morsel of shame about it. Usually he continues to boredly watch the smut that Mikasa's debit card paid for until either she or the Professor snaps him out of the trance. Only then would he give any reaction. Then he actually has the gall to act  _surprised_ when one of them confiscates his computer.

Connie, now recovered from his fatigue from studying, powered up with a sudden burst of energy. "This is  _college_ ; the time for going out, meeting people and having fun! What's his deal? That kid needs to get laid, that oughta snap him into maturity."

"I highly doubt that will solve his problems." In fact, it would probably make things worse because Eren will likely confuse reality as usual and think it's perfectly natural to perform taboo sex acts on a partner like in one of those sick hentai shows he's always watching. Either that or he'd irresponsibly get a girl pregnant—but let's face facts, that isn't likely: Eren is so bicurious that he's practically gay enough to steal the spotlight from Kurt Hummel and force him into a dull corner of the stage.

However obvious Eren's sexual interest in the same sex may be, he's the only one who doesn't quite grasp the concept of openly admitting he's gay, or even bisexual for that matter. Eren says some crazy things sometimes, but him playing the role as a heterosexual (or a " _ladies man_ ", as he likes to dub himself as) is by far the most extreme case of delusion she has ever witnessed.

"But dating someone smart and responsible might straighten him out. They always say that love can change a person for the better!" Sasha optimistically added and Mikasa admittedly liked the idea of Eren going steady with someone, but the guy barely knows how to take care of  _himself_ , never mind feeding another person emotional support. Any partner he would land would either need to be extremely tolerant (or desperate) or someone who isn't afraid to call him out on his shit and whip him into shape. Mikasa hoped for the latter.

"Hm. That  _ideal person_ Sasha described sounds awfully familiar." Connie folded his arms and narrowly eyed Mikasa. "I'll never understand why the two of you never hit it off."

Mikasa couldn't even pretend to be surprised. "Really. You don't understand why I don't want to date some perverted, immature guy with anger management issues that rarely showers or leaves the house and screams at ten year olds while playing video games? Yeah,  _real shocker_ , Connie."

He swat the air in dismissal. "You know what I mean. You've been with him since the dawn of time and you're the only one that can put up with his shit longer than a few hours."

"That's because I love the kid, flaws and all. But that doesn't mean I have the patience to date him." Besides, he's like a little brother to her, despite them being the same age and not blood related at all.

"Yeah Connie, they'd never work out. Besides, I'm sure Mikasa's  _boyfriend_  wouldn't appreciate that, heh~" Propping her chin on her knuckles, Sasha shot her a flirtatious glare across the table, wiggling her brows with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Mikasa crossed her legs beneath the table with a redundant sigh. "He's  _not_ my boyfriend, big mouth."

She couldn't summon the energy to get riled up at the accusation. Nearly everyone of importance knew about Levi by now—including  _Jean_  and she never planed on Jean knowing a damn thing about her love life, or lack for of. Even Armin knew, courtesy of Eren's blabber mouth. Connie knowing too was just a little added dent in her personal wall she formed.

"So you're interested in someone, huh? Please tell me it's not another horse this time, do yourself a favor an upgrade to a majestic unicorn."

A thunderous crack of vocals bolted from Sasha, slapping a knee and encouraging Connie, who turned smug from the well-received feedback on his  _hilarious_  joke—but he didn't get a peep of amusement from Mikasa. She simply scowled.

She's guilty of using a horse joke every once in a while, but herself and Jean are literally the only ones in their group that are sick to death of the overused, childish insults. The jokes need to die and go back to the pit of hell in which they came already.

Wiping a tear, Sasha recovered from the burst of amusement. "Actually, in all seriousness I think Mikasa landed a good catch. He seems perfect for her. By the way, does Eren know about him yet?"

"Yeah. He's the one who found him for me—he made me a profile on a dating website." It made her cringe to admit. "I was skeptical at first but Levi and I really hit it off. I'm glad I went through with it."

Connie heaved his head back, dazed like he doubted the reality around him. "Whoa, trippy—I feel like I just stepped into TV land and got trapped in some eHarmony commerical. Next you'll be slow dancing with this Levi guy as an old guy monologues over you, saying to sign up for free today."

Sasha cracked the air with another laugh and Mikasa bit the inside of her cheek, irritated by the pair of idiots. "If only there where websites for finding better friends."

"Oh, burn!" Sasha smacked the table, but her snickering expression popped off suddenly. "...Wait, you're not referring to me too, right Mika?" When she didn't answer, Sasha gripped the table and thrusted herself forward desperately with tears building up. "Right?! Righ— _hmp!?_ "

"Oh quiet you." In a flash Mikasa inserted her spoonful of Dragon Passion into the girls mouth, the flavor soothing her faster than a baby sucking on a bottle of warm milk.

The three of them continued talking among each other about school and assignments. Connie had a talk with Mina and snagged the bosses number to schedule an interview, and he was thrilled to know he was practically guaranteed for the job.

When they left the warmness of shop and entered the shower of light flurries, Sasha and Connie invited Mikasa to grab a bite to eat at the diner with them, but she didn't have the stomach (nor metabolism) to go restaurant-hoping with them tonight. She secretly bet to herself that they would be having at least their third dinner of the evening and the portions could probably feed a small country. Having said that, she had no desire to tag along and watch that display. She declined with promises of texting them later and they branched off in different directions.

Mikasa headed in the direction of home, walking along the narrow pavement. The town became quite desolate suddenly in spite of this being a wild college area and it's still technically early in student standards. Everyone must be inside where it's warm, sheltered from this cold—she wish she had done the same and brought her car, but since she figured she could use the extra cardio.

Light flickered in from the streetlamps peeking through the bare dead branches caving over the trail, which created interesting shadow patterns around her shoes. During the time in the shop it had started to lightly snow and now the concrete dusted with a light layer of icy fuzz. Hot breath turned to seeping fog, but with a quick adjustment of her scarf, her face felt significantly warmer. She passed the campus shops closing down for the night, only a few window washers and employees counting their draws remained inside. The lights of the stores practically shut off in sync with her steps.

She passed by the clothing boutique downstairs of her apartment and looked at the mannequins dressed in fashionable winter attire; the type of clothes that were appropriate for the season and for the rich kids on campus that had a need to make a statement.

She broke her wistful stare from the display, but came to the conclusion that she really should buy some new clothes—she hasn't been shopping in a while and she should start fresh with a new wardrobe, but she always considered her sense of fashion to be lacking, making clothes shopping a miserable experience.

Everything buys either doesn't suit her or looks too over-the-top and ends up collecting dust in her closet. Often enough, she'll get the desire like any normal girl to shop for new clothes, but ends up sticking to her old, comfortable wardrobe for as long as she possibly could. If they never got worn from the wash or shrunk, she'd never buy new clothes; that's just the kind of girl she is, that and she gets too attached to certain outfits and accessories; like the scarf Eren gave her on her first trip to America. Being the carefree child she was back then, she forgot to pack anything warm to wear. A sudden gust of icy breath animated her hair as she recalled—it was around this time that she met Eren all those years ago.

Deciding that clothes shopping should be the last thing on her mind, she made a sharp left into the narrow ally and climbed up the stairs with a dim smile. Eren was more or less the same back then as he is now, (as in, he's still the same loud, obnoxious brat) but he was much more daring and adventurous as a child. Him and Armin would go on and on about their plans to travel the world someday—but along the way, he misplaced that impetus light of his somewhere during his teen years. The go-getter she once admired suddenly lost all his drive and even though she tries to pretend the sudden switch in his persona doesn't bother her, she can't help but to miss the old Eren sometimes, the Eren that used to dream and never gave up and motivated her through the hardest days. She suspects it has something to do with him dealing with more and more pressure with each passing year. Entering the real world and becoming an adult is a scary, inescapable fate and he might be trying to stretch out his glory years a little longer.

Maybe Sasha was right—if Eren can find himself a good partner, maybe he'll change for the better or find himself again. She'll never abandon hope for him—she knows he'll come around someday.

The moment she reached her floor, a blaring noise assaulted her ears and the sound wave was almost strong enough to send her flying in reverse off the top step of the stairs. The ringing roared through the hall, so loud in fact that her upstairs neighbor who absolutely  _loathes_  her and Eren with a passion has come down for a visit, arriving to the floor almost in sync with her from the opposite stair well.

The man stretched out his arm, thrusting a scolding finger at her the moment his threatening gaze found her. She slouched in preparation of the impending lecture heading her way, because if Mr. Woerman heard the sound all the way up in  _his_ apartment, then that can only mean that the obnoxious alarm was coming from  _her_ place. Lucky for her, she lives under this miserable man that can hear a  _sneeze_ from her place, but not a piano crashing in any of the other occupants apartments.

The force driving toward her with lumbering heels, lowering brows and a fixed gaze made her feel even more guilty and due for a lecture—despite not doing anything wrong herself.

"Ackerman! How many times have I warned you?! You make too much noise!"

Her hand nearly covered her ears in reflex from the mans obnoxiously broken pitch. Even if you combined all the noise Eren, his friends and herself accumulated since moving here, it still wouldn't equal up to how loud her cranky neighbor is being right now.

"Mr. Woerman, sir, I just got home, I have no idea what's going on." She turned down the polite route, even though she wanted to punch the man in the face for always complaining every time a thimble dropped passed nine o'clock—actually, he complains about noise during the daytime too. Instead of whining to a bunch of college kids, the man ought to consider moving out. Someone of his age can't honestly expect to get peace and quiet while sharing a complex with a ton of students.

"Hmph." He scoffed, letting out a huff that rumpled his auburn mustache. "Out partying, I presume. Typical for a college student."

Mikasa tried to gain control over the wrinkling sneer begging for release. This asshole likes to make assumptions and assume they're the truth. In other words, he's the  _worst_  kind of person to know and even worst to have as a neighbor.

"Maybe if you were home a little more that Yeager boy wouldn't make such a ruckus!"

"I'm not his mother, I can't control everything he does. I'll see to it that's he keeps it down," she recited the same line she always has since moving here.

When she moved in closer to her door with her keys ready in hand, her eyes flicked wider. She had just realized that the sound blasting from the other side of the door was the  _fire alarm_. "Now, if you'd excuse me, sir, I think my apartment is on fire."

"Huh?!"

She'd rather risk being a victim of a backdraft than listen to that man another second, so she took her chances and escaped inside, slamming the door in his faced and pulled the chain over. Reflectively her hands reached for her ears now that the sound grew louder.

Her eyes watered immediately and the air of the entrance hall felt thick and heavy on her lungs—she coughed out, "What the— Eren? What's going on?"

With no answer, she followed the burning scent and stomped into the smoky kitchen, cutting through the fog like a knife, her blinking lashes swatting the smoke from clogging her vision. The whiff of a crispy burnt scent grew more intense. Upon closer inspection, she found the cause of the "fire" was coming from the toaster that was coughing up black smoke. She waved a cloud away, eyes watering as she swiftly unplugged it from the wall and pulled up a chair to stand on to reset the fire alarm. She hopped back down, calling for Eren again but getting no reply. Needing to clear the smoke, she cranked open the kitchen window for fresh air, letting in a chill into the heated apartment.

" _EREN?_ " Her voice sounded louder than the alarm that was previously roaring. This was definitely his doing—it's like leaving a fucking five year old home alone. "Where the hell are you?" She searched for him with fury powering her heel, looking beyond the barricading counter into the living room where she found the guilty guy in question laying on the couch with his headphones blasting loud in his ears, the sound of electric guitars and screaming vocals could be heard from where she stood. She growled while she loped around.

His air drum solo was interrupted when she hostility yanked the jack from his phone.

"Eren!"

Startled and dazed, he rose his hands in defense, but upon seeing it was Mikasa he relaxed and moved his finger to his lips. " _Shhh_ , don't be so loud. Mr. Woerman will give us shit again."

Really. Fucking  _really?_ She nearly snapped and saw the premonition of a violent rampage flash in her mind at that.

"You nearly set the kitchen on fire."

He cocked his head up obliviously. "I did?"

"Yes. And the fire alarm was sounding off though the halls for who knows how long and Mr. Woerman wasn't very happy about it."

"Hm. That explains what that burny smell was." He sniffed, the tickle of the floating soot made him wiggle his nose like a certain witch on TV Land.

"...If you smelt something  _burning_ , why wouldn't you check what it was? Would you just lay here and burn?"

He squinted up at her like she just hit him with a pop quiz. "Is this a trick question?"

It was during times like this that Mikasa wanted to shake Eren in hopes of awakening that unused brain of his. Instead of resorting to violence, she let out a huff and sat next to him. "I'm pretty sure you broke the toaster. What where you making anyway?"

He thought about it for a second, then popped his eyes wide with a dry gasp. "Oh shit!" He heaved forward and stumbled to his feet, tossing his headphones into Mikasa's lap and dashed to the kitchen.

Mikasa perked up, trying to see for herself what caused Eren to rush off to so urgently.

"My poptarts!" He cried out dramatically enough to nominate him for an Emmy.

Running to the poptarts rescue was useless after they had already burnt to a crisp, but she wouldn't dare say that because she hasn't saw Eren move that fast since high school.

"Ew...it tastes like cigarette ashes." Mikasa heard the dry heave in his voice, like it took all his willpower to keep the mouthful from dispensing.

"Wha—don't eat that, moron." But based on the crunchy chewing, he didn't listen to her advice. Honestly, he acts like she  _starves_  him.

Her phone buzzed against her lap and she sighed at the horrible timing. Leisurely, she made herself comfortable on the couch before she dug through her purse. She was in no hurry to answer since she assumed it was Sasha or Connie just making sure she got home alright.

Navigating her thumb over to the notifications, she was pleasantly surprised when she saw the name  _'Levi'_  reveal itself.

She multitasked by kicking off her shoes belatedly (since she was a little more concerned about the apartment being on fire than to remove her shoes at the entrance like she normally does) and wiggled out of her jacket to get comfortable, all while reading Levi's message.

 **Levi:** Hey, I just got back. Sorry for leaving before. What have you been up to?

_10:41 PM_

**Mikasa:** Well, I went out with friends for frozen yogurt and my roommate nearly burned the apartment complex down. Typical Monday night.

_10:43 PM_

**Levi:** And here I was thinking you'd be bored out of your mind in my absence. Your life sure sounds much more eventful than mine. Care to trade?

_10:44 PM_

**Mikasa:** Wouldn't be a fair trade, because you'd be responsible for my friends. You should know by now how dangerous that is.

_10:45 PM_

**Levi:** I bet they're less crazy than mine.

_10:45 PM_

**Mikasa:** I'd literally bet you anything against that.

_10:45 PM_

**Levi:** Don't make bets you're sure to lose. You're smarter than that.

_10:46 PM_

**Mikasa:** No. I know my friends are worse. If you don't believe me, let's compare. Give me your worse.

_10:47 PM_

**Levi:** Deal. One of my closest friends is creepy and manipulative (not to mention an annoying know-it-all) but has the looks of an innocent supermodel so no one suspects him nor calls him out on his shit.

_10:49 PM_

**Mikasa:** Sounds a lot like my friend Armin. This friend of yours wouldn't happen to be a short blond guy with blue eyes, right?

_10:50 PM_

**Levi:** No, but he's a tall blond guy with blue eyes. I think I need to ask him if he has any sons he doesn't know about.

_10:51 PM_

Mikasa paused her typing to let out a repressed giggle and tried to shake off her smile. They'd probably be good friends or mortal enemies. Either or. It's not really surprising that they both attracted friends with similar personalities when you consider how alike her and Levi are.

 **Mikasa:** My best friends is obsessed with eating and makes a scene every time she goes anywhere where there's even a morsel of food.

_10:53 PM_

**Levi:**  That doesn't sound too bad. My so-called "best friend" is way worse than that.

_10:54 PM_

**Mikasa:** Levi, a few weeks ago she nearly bit my finger off because I tried to snag a fry from her. She then proceeded to hiss at me.

_10:56 PM_

**Levi:**  Okay. I stand corrected. My friend is obsessive too, but let's just say I lose my appetite when they go into detail about the dissections they perform.

_10:59 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Dissections? Are they a pathologist or something?

_10:59 PM_

**Levi:** No, worse. They're somehow legally allowed to work with students like yourself. I'm not sure if you ever heard of Dr. Zoë, but they're a biology teacher at your university.

_11:01 PM_

**Mikasa:** I know exactly who that is. That's one of Armin's Professors.

_11:02 PM_

Armin had told that Dr. Zoë was quite eccentric and took their teaching a little too seriously in the most zany ways, but Mikasa had no idea it was  _that_ eccentric friend Levi had vaguely mentioned a few times before. What a small world.

 **Mikasa:** Still, they don't seem too bad.

_11:02 PM_

**Levi:** Go ahead and think that, but don't say I didn't warn you about them. I'm pretty sure I win this round.

_11:03 PM_

**Mikasa:** No way, my friends definitely take the title of weird.

_11:03 PM_

**Levi:** Mikasa, one of my friends smells people when he meets them, like literally smells them like a damn dog. And it's not just a weird habit, he somehow determines if a person is good or bad this way.

_11:05 PM_

That, admittedly, is kind of hard to top.

 **Mikasa:** Well, my friend looks like a horse.

_11:06 PM_

**Levi:** Wait. How can someone look like a horse?

_11:06 PM_

**Mikasa:** If you saw Jean, you'd know how. He looks exactly like a horse. He's also the one who is constantly fighting with my roommate; don't even get me started on him. He's the weirdest of them all.

_11:07 PM_

**Levi:**  Alright, let's just call it a draw and agree we both have weird friends and were cursed with the company of social rejects.

_11:08 PM_

"Mikasa... the microwave is flipping out on me."

The peaceful world she created with Levi in the short amount of time was torn away from her by Eren's panicked tone. Perfect timing, she was just thinking about how annoying Eren could be. Her head flopped back weakly with a sigh. She spoke dryly to the ceiling, "What are you trying to make? Did you read the directions?"

"I'm just trying to make popcorn, then there was some lightening and I think the microwave got possessed by Zeus and he's pissed at me."

Mikasa blinked up at the ceiling, trying to filter his blabbing into a language she could understand, but by the time she figured out his analogy, it was too late.

"Now it's—!"

Followed by what sounded like a crackling lightening storm came a loud pop that blared, and it certainly  _wasn't_  the popcorn. The microwave hissed a dying breath and the electricity short-circuited, leaving only the glow from her phone the lone light source in the apartment.

"What the  _hell_  did you do now?" She pushed herself off the couch and used her phone light as guidance through the darkness. She won't argue with him, but Levi's friends can't top hers, no way in hell—the things these idiots make her deal with on a daily bases is enough to give someone a nervous break down.

After much feeling around blindly, she found the fuse-box and after some trial and error, she got the power back on with a flip of a switch and went to the kitchen to tally the damage Eren had caused.

Eren stood there with innocent, yet guilty eyes like a little puppy that had an accident on the floor. When he made faces like that, it was a challenge to be angry at him, but even innocent idiots needed to be given some tough-love now and again.

"...That kind of popcorn is for the  _stove top_ , Eren. You can't put foil in a microwave. This is common logic."

Eren stomped his heel and threw himself into the dining chair like a baby throwing a hissy fit, giving up with roaring wail. "God damnit. I'm so fucking hungry. Why is nothing working?"

"Because you're a moron. Go eat some cereal or something, you can manage that without screwing up, can't you?"

"But the Lucky Charms are all gone. And we only have Cheerios. I fucking  _hate_ Cheerios. With a burning passion."

She mumbled a few pleading curses under her breath as she held her head. "You broke the toaster  _and_  probably the microwave too all because you're apparently starving, so if you don't eat something after all this damage I'll force feed you myself."

"Ugh...Can't you run to the store real quick and get me—"

"Goodnight, Eren." Mikasa walked off and escaped to her room, not wanting to hear another word from him. She only hoped he wouldn't break something else in her absence. After she fluffed up her pillows, she flopped down on her back and tried to reemerge herself in the conversation with Levi.

 **Mikasa:** Indeed, we are definitely cursed. Now that we've settled that, how was the rest of your night? Did the meeting go well?

_11:17 PM_

Levi complained briefly, but the final verdict of the meeting was that it went well and managed to satisfy his editor. Mikasa, feeling motivated to complain a bit herself brought up a pesky assignment that's been on her mind, and Levi gave her some helpful insight on the topic, which she hadn't expected but appreciated. It's nice to have someone to complain to that doesn't get so easily turned-off by some pessimism like many people; in fact negativity seems to be a highlighted trait for Levi, but much like herself he had a knack for vaguely turning around a situation by trying to find a solution. She liked that about him; just another key element she found herself relating to.

Now that they've ran out of topics at-hand, Mikasa brought up the first closely accessible thought that would prolong the conversation.

 **Mikasa:**  So what are you doing tomorrow?

_11:44 PM_

**Levi:**  Why do you ask?

_11:47 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Just making conversation.

_11:47 PM_

That wasn't the best way to go about asking this and she certainly didn't like the long pause before his reply. She hoped he didn't get the wrong idea and think she was being nosy. Well, considering her intentions were actually flat-out meddlesome, he wouldn't necessarily be  _wrong_. He'd be the smart one, actually, since she's nothing more than a stalker collecting info at this point. Truly disgraceful, but still not enough to convince her she was going the wrong way about this.

It's not so much that she wants to  _spy_  on a potential love interest...she just wants to settle some personal curiosity, that's all—she could have swore she heard some stalker use that same exact line on one of those television crime dramas. Maybe she really is a creeper. But in her defense, she never had much experience with guys and her only serious boyfriend up until now was  _Jean_  of all people, which proves she doesn't make the best choices when it comes to men.

 **Levi:**  I have a lot of writing to do for the most part. Tomorrow I'll be held up in my dark room whilst injecting lethal amounts of coffee, cursing my editor to hell and resisting the urges to throw my computer off my balcony. You know, just the glamorous life of a freelance writer.

_11:50 PM_

**Mikasa:**  I guess that means you won't be hitting the gym. Sucks for you.

_11:50 PM_

And her, since she was depending on that so the plot she established with Sasha would follow into effect.

 **Levi:**  No, I'm still going. That's a given; I never miss a day. I'll just head over earlier than usual to make up time.

_11:52 PM_

Earlier than usually, she noted—so he'll likely be at the gym before eight. Mikasa shook her head in a disappointed motion on the fluff of her pillow, a sudden feeling of guilt surging through her. She couldn't believe she was actually considering the idea of  _spying_  on some guy from the internet she's been talking to for a week. But—at the rate they're going, neither of them will ask the other out to meet in person any time soon. She knows how unlikely it is that she'll scope him out somehow at the gym, but the hope is worth the effort. She just wants to put a face to the messages already.

One might think asking straight out might be easier, but in this short amount of time she had constructed Levi to be a intimidating man. It's hard to tell through text alone, but she doesn't believe she's wrong to assume this; which is why she's  _definitely_  not brave enough to ask for a picture either, because for starters, there must be a valid reason why he didn't put one in the first place, just like herself, and she doesn't want to put them both in an uncomfortable situation by demanding a picture from him—and just the thought of her returning a photo made her cringe. If she had a little more patience, she'd wait it out as long as needed, but over this past week she had shamefully became quite attached to Levi and when she becomes fond of someone or something, it's hard for her to let it go. With that in mind, she naturally became curious about his appearance—she just wants to be able to imagine the man behind the screen.

Simply put, Mikasa thinks she likes him judging by where their development is heading, but she doesn't want to screw anything up by rushing and making him uncomfortable over her own childish impatience. Levi's a decade older than her, he probably has a load of patience and it will take her many years to catch up to the same level as him. Until then, she'll play it safe and settle her curiosity with alternative methods.

That settles it. Before she goes to work tomorrow, she's stopping by Stohess Fitness to apply for a membership  _and-of-course-hunt-down-Levi_. If all else fails and she doesn't find him, oh well, she'll carry out her normal routine and head to work after. But it's worth a shot—that little hope itself should make her excited, but for some reason a sudden foreboding feeling overran her. She could only hope that the bad feeling settling in her stomach was just her fluttering nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Mikasa's friends are just a mess. Especially Eren. Sorry Mikasa, he's kind of your responsibility for now. And it won't get any easier for her because a little cranky man at the gym will give her a hard time. No—it totally isn't Levi, guys. I swear... Okay it is. But she doesn't know that. But she's going to wish she had. Heh. The next chapter is going to be fun.


	4. Hate at First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my very patient readers~! Let me start off by saying that this chapter was a real pain in the ass. Not only did I have to rewrite the whole thing twice, but I also lost most of my notes (which basically had the whole plan and outline for the chapter). [Inserts more excuses here that I'm too lazy to write]. It goes without saying I struggled a lot with this one. But the upside is this version turned out much longer than the first draft I had, so hopefully that makes up for the wait? Anyway, I'm just glad it's finally done. I never need to write these scenes again, woo~!

A quick trip on the freeway later, Mikasa arrived in the metropolitan area of Sina City. The atmosphere of college students walking around like zombies, (either from too much drinking or too much studying) was replaced by suit-wearing business men and folks trying to make a buck performing music on the busy sidewalks. The inner city was lively and clean with low crime rate to boot, but the same couldn't be said about the outskirts where the city and its inhabitants were anything but sterile and safe. It at least had a lively variety of people from what Mikasa could tell during her time lost in the shady area. Sticking to the main artery roads to  _avoid_  said shady area, she cruised through the central strip of the Rose Historical District, idled in traffic and signaled into the car port.

Her secondhand purple PT Cruiser was parked in the Mall Maria parking garage. The car was given as a going-away present from Carla for her and Eren to use at college. To make things simple, she normally refers to the Cruiser as  _her car_  because Eren, being the lazy recluse he is, rarely ever drove. At least they never had to fight over who got dibs on the car for the day—whoever said there's no perks to befriending a hermit?

Like a fool with no street logic, Mikasa had been parking the car out on the curb before her shift at Starbucks and fiddled with change to feed meters on her break every day (and still managed to get a parking ticket a day ago). It's nearly impossible to find a parking spot in this city and she spent the first few days of employment riding up and down the streets in hopes of snagging a spot five blocks away. Only recently had she discovered the wonders of paying for a spot in the lot: no change or headaches of remembering where you parked required.

The realization couldn't have come at a better time. Mikasa found herself in this area more and more frequently. She will never be a city girl, that's for sure. Growing up oversees in a low populated village and later living in the suburbs with the Yeager family had taught her nothing about city life.

She parked her Cruiser next to a Mustang and was mindful when exiting, being sure to not hit the glossy black paint job with her door. The careless owner of the nice vehicle had parked entirely too close to the parking line, a few inches shy of being out of bounds. After sidling pass, she pulled out her duffle bag from the hatchback and swung it over her shoulder. Inside were her gym clothes and work uniform.

The automatic clear glass doors of Stohess Fitness swished open upon her arrival, welcoming her to the modern, populated gym. A blast of heat immediately hugged around her, melting the December frost from her bones. Scanning her sight from left to right, her senses were attacked by all angles like a kid walking in a toy shop. All the fancy and high tech equipment she only dreamed of using before bordered around and lined up aisle by aisle. Just the thought of getting her hands on them made her intoxicated with an adrenaline high. She honestly couldn't wait to give those machines a workout.

The gym was packed to the rim with typical gym-goers you often see habituating these places. There were the buff and proudly shirtless boys who drank a jug of protein powder for breakfast, bodybuilders that put her own body to shame who spent more time flexing in the mirror than working out, the people still trying to burn off Thanksgivings feast, and you can't overlook the sporty busty blondes with abs as thick as Eren's skull.

She still had about an hour before her shift, which was cutting it close, but she figured an hour was plenty of time to apply for a quick membership and a twenty minute workout while keeping an eye peeled for anyone who might be her slightly sarcastic, slightly pretentious and slightly charming cyber crush.

The odds were slim, slimmer than the waist of the hyperactive trainer running pass, but Mikasa wanted to see said cyber crush who she was slightly  _in-like_  with.

She began her search mission promptly, immediately keeping an eye peeled for anyone who even  _slightly_  matched the image her mind created whilst talking to Levi. She knew how unlikely it was that this faceless man accurately fit the fantasy image her subconscious imagination came up with, but it was the only lead she had to go on.

Levi works out here. Everyday. In the mornings. That's all she knew but she hoped that was enough to help her find him. With all these people swarming around, however, her ambitious scheme might be easier said than done. She still held onto the hope of bumping into him by chance—a fat chance at that.

Neither of them had yet mentioned meeting up in real life yet, not even a hint at the idea. A part of her was relieved that he wanted to get to know her first before asking her on a blind date, but even so, she was getting abnormally curious about what he looked like. It should be mentioned that Mikasa Ackerman wasn't shallow nor picky; she didn't have much of a preference and would still like this Levi fellow regardless of his physical appearance (because she had already stepped into a stage of interest and infatuation that was hard to step down from). But to contradict that wholly—based on his personality and the info she knows about him—her mind had painted the image of a flawless, successful man who stood tall with a well-built body a trained veteran normally posses. She also pictured him with dark hair, complimented with a deep rich tan, the pigment a little darker than Eren's.

She knew it was idiotic to look for a man who was literally the embodiment of  _Tall Dark and Handsome_ , it's painfully cliché, but that's just what her mind came up with and settled on during their nightly talks. Letting the flawless man dissolve into a back shelf of her mind, she shimmed her bag strap up her shoulder and kept moving forward while alert for her target, along with familiarizing herself with the new gym.

"...!" Too busy searching the area for the perfect model-man she talked to for a mere week online, she ended up bumping head-first into what felt like a brick wall.

"Ah, s-sorry," the brick wall said.

Recovering from the sudden collision, Mikasa strained her sight up, wincing painfully, to the towering barrier blocking her path.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry." She blinked up to him, tilting her head. He apologized to her despite it being her own clumsy mistake. The man before her stood over six-foot with dark short hair and bronzed skin. She effortlessly made the assessment that he was incredibly anxious based on his body language.

After a thorough blatant scan...she realized that the person she bumped into just so happen to be  _Tall, Dark and Handsome._

". . . . . ." Her heart twinged. The man standing before her closely resembled the image her mind created for Levi.

"It'll be like finding a needle in a haystack," Eren had told her as she readied to leave the apartment, basking with high in spirits that manifested from the idea of her plan working. "Or trying to find Jean at a horse ranch, it's just  _impossible_ ," he added and she was bothered by his lack of encouragement. A pinch of her spirits were, well, spirited away.

"Or trying to find hetero porn in your collection," she retorted. At least that shut him up.

That was the first logical thing Eren had said in months, but unfortunately his reasoning was wrong because Mikasa became determined and when she became determined she always found a way...or ran right into it.

"No, I'm sorry. This is a busy area, I shouldn't be standing here," the man said, and she almost forgot why he was apologizing for the second time. Right, she bumped into him—actually that doesn't explain why  _he_ was apologizing at all.

"It's okay," she assured. At this rate they'll play tag with the word  _sorry_  all day. "I wasn't looking where I was going—I don't really know my way around yet."

"You're new here?" The man finally dropped his apologetic formalities and leaned his elbow casually against the counter, his eyes welcoming and swimming damply, either from sweat leaking into his eyes or tears that welled up from anxiety.

She nodded, looked off to the side and over the counter. Along the wall plastered banners adverting the perks of membership, a list of fees and optional classes. On one of the posters a small print advertised a  _Krav Maga_ class. "I'm about to apply for a membership."

"Nice, it's always refreshing to see a new face." There was something she really liked about his voice. It felt familiar to her like the guy had been her friend forever, which conveniently made her comfortable around him.

 _She felt comfortable around him._  Another flag rose. The man tried to keep up a flimsy smile, but the pressure of Mikasa's deadpan stare made him tense and quail like a little girl. A six-foot-something, Tall, Dark and Handsome little girl.

It can't really be him—she tilted her neck further, scrutinizing—could it? She squinted her eyes and the tall man shrunk more under her stare.

"My name is Mikasa, by the way." It's not every day that she introduced herself to strangers, but she hoped he'd either recognized her name or exchange his. Her heart already felt like it was racing a marathon at the thought of him saying,  _'I'm Levi.'_

The man's cheeks lifted with a thin smile. "It's nice to meet you, Mikasa, you can call me Bertholdt."

It felt like her entire body just deflated, excluding her cheeks that were puffed with disappointed. The air left her cheeks when she sighed, tired at the idea of searching for Levi still. Of course it's not him. It couldn't be that easy. This isn't some convent romance novel or weird alternate universe that rewrote her previous life. But if it were a cheesy love story the main characters would obviously be Mikasa and Levi and they would effortlessly bump into each other and live a happy ever after. And as an afterthought, she wanted to punch something for even  _thinking_  of a happy ever after with a faceless guy she spoke to for a week on the internet. But punching something in front of a seemingly sensitive man like Bertholdt would surely startle him.

Even though Bertholdt wasn't Levi (and was sweaty and apologizes too much) he seemed like a nice guy and there's nothing wrong with gaining an acquaintances in a new place.

Mikasa filled out the membership form and Bertholdt helped her fill in some blanks she wasn't sure about. She only paid a month in advance, she wasn't sure if she would even like the gym and wanted to give it a test run before committing to a full year pass. When she was just about done, a voice drew up from behind, addressing her new acquaintance beside her.

"Who's your new friend, Bert?"

Mikasa set down her pen and handed the clipboard back to the staff member behind the counter before twisting around. The man was shorter than Bertholdt with cropped blond hair, a wide frame and pudgy nose. The complete opposite of Tall, Dark and Handsome. Though, Handsome is subjective; he's probably adorable to someone, but Tallness and Darkness were objective. You're either seen as short or tall or dark or light. There were middle grounds, of course, but Mikasa found herself drawn to what she liked to call  _extremities_. Remember, Mikasa Ackerman was not shallow nor picky, but if she could choose she would want an extreme person, not only in physical appearance but in spirit.

Bertholdt introduced her to him, filling him in that she was a new member. Mikasa couldn't help but feel strangely welcomed here—she never had people treat her like this in her in the campus gym. Most just ignored her completely. Not that that's necessary a bad thing. "And This is Reiner," Bertholdt finally introduced the man.

"And also the love of his life," Reiner boldly declared with a proud stance.

"Quit it." Bertholdt warned, but not an ounce of threat mixed in his soft words. He stiffened up, running fingers through his hair and sweating more so while Reiner snorted. These two were as opposite as summer and winter, Mikasa decided. Two extremities on different sides of the scale that somehow intersected.

"You weren't telling me to stop this morning." The blond snapped his fingers into a point at the blushing man with a smug, self-satisfied grin.

"Reiner!"

Mikasa's going to take a wild guess and assume Reiner was one of those guys that added the tag  _'that's what she said'_  in inappropriate situations. She also had a sneaking suspicion that him and Eren would become best friends if they met.

As for Bertholdt, she never saw a man with such a towering stature light his cheeks with red over a simple jape. He looked utterly  _devastated_  by the blond's comment. Something about them triggered a strange sense of déjà vu—she couldn't help but feel that their teasing exchanges felt familiar, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Well, it's nice to meet you both." The three of them spoke a short period after, then branched out in different directions. Mikasa wondered aimlessly at first as she tried to familiarize herself with the new surroundings.

Times like this, (among many other reasons) was why Mikasa didn't resist signing up for a dating site despite hating the concept. When she does met a guy in real life that she  _might've_  been interested in, he's already taken or in other cases, he turns out to be a total jackass. That's how its been ever since her and Jean broke up. It's almost pathetic that her only close-to-meaningful relationship was established when she was naïve teenager. Now she's a grown adult in college and she can't land a date—and now that she might've found a guy she's interested in she's practically  _stalking_  him.

Really, she had more sense as a teenager—but Levi is someone special, she felt that clearly from the beginning. Deep down, she knew she wasn't wrong to feel this way. He's the only man she's 'met' since Jean that she had any kind of chemistry with (and the two of them didn't even have a whole lot). If she feels this way about Levi before meeting him in the flesh, she can only imagine how perfectly they'd hit it off in person. They've only talked for a week, true, and she told herself that she shouldn't be so attached and desperate to see him yet, but crushes can make a person do strange things, she supposed.

Needless to say, the hunt for Levi was still on and she's not even a little guilty because she inherited the ability to believe illogical reasoning from Eren.

With bag in tow, she headed for the dressing room and changed into a navy long-sleeve shirt and gray basketball shorts. Not as flattering, cute or color-coordinated as the other girls outfits, but it's comfortable and that's all that mattered.

Upon exiting the locker rooms, she headed for the weight machines. An impressive number of them were all lined up in a row. They were, unfortunately, all currently being used at the time but she walked down the aisle in hopes of spotting a free one. The sound of the weights hammering down and heavy breathing and grunts became the soundtrack of her short walk.

The campus gym near her apartment might be small with not much equipment to choose from (and most were dated unlike the modern machinery here) but at least it's less crammed than this. Not that the populated establishment is necessarily a bother to her, but it's definitely something she'll have to adjust to.

When she reached the end of the aisle, her reflection displayed in the full length wall mirror. She entered a warm up pose, spreading her feet apart and rising her arms. In the meantime she might as well do some warm-up stretches while she waits for a machine to become available.

A few reps of stretches later, she caught sight of a quick blur standing up from one of the weight machines in the mirror's reflection. From the looks of it, the person occupying it was just about finished. Adeptly, she spun around and silently called dibs just as the user swiped a towel down his face. Clearly, he was done with his routine and the machine would become available to her shortly. She stepped a little closer and idled around the machine (but gave the man space so he could finished up without feeling harped on).

Dropping to one knee, Mikasa tightened her shoe laces while she waited. When she saw movement again, she lashed her head up—just to see the man sit back down and ruffle through his bag.

". . . . . ." She silently observed as he pulled out a tube container. Cocking her head to the side, she read the label.

_Disinfectant wipes?_

After plucking one of the moist sheets, the man swiveled around on the bench and wiped the towelette on the handle bars. She curled her nose impatiently and picked herself up from the floor to scope around, checking if any other spots were free yet. She hummed a displeased sound in her throat and returned to her last resort, cornering her eyes on the man who was still hogging the equipment by wiping it spotlessly clean.

Most gyms encourage the members to do that, but do people actually clean their machines once they're done using it? Mikasa considered herself a clean person, but she rarely went out of her way to do that. Depending on the condition, she could understand occasionally cleaning the equipment  _before_  use, but  _after_  too? A bit of an overkill, in her opinion.

Even though she mostly just saw the back of this sterile man, she realized that he, just like Reiner, was the complete opposite of Tall, Dark and (subjectively) Handsome. He's very short, that much she could tell without him even standing near her. He also had paler skin than her; either he was sickly or didn't get much sun. The only thing dark about him was his hair.

Short, Pale and (subjectively) Handsome certainly didn't sound as pleasant as the former. However, he did land himself in Mikasa's criteria of the  _extremities_. There was no gray area about him. He wasn't average in height or somewhere in the middle between short and tall. He was shorter than any grown man she had seen before. He didn't have a thinly tanned complexion like Eren; his skin was snow, bordering on the lines of unhealthy looking.

Sometimes, when you think of the extreme in regards to physical appearance you picture over-empathizing features and proportions, but the complete opposite actually does the trick as well. This man was a Small Extremity. Coming to that pointless conclusion wasted an irreplaceable five minutes of her life, plenty of time for said Small Extremity to be gone by now, but he was still wiping down the machine with his damn disinfectant wipes.

She coughed a little in her hand to gain his attention and knock him from his cleaning trance, but he didn't budge, like he didn't even know she was near. Surely, he had to notice her by now. She's been standing here for ten minutes for crying out loud. Looking at her wrist watch, she realized she would've been half way done if it wasn't for this guy playing the role of janitor. Running low on time, she took a more direct approach.

"Excuse me... Will you be done soon?" She didn't want to sound like she was rushing him, but she did want to him to hurry the hell up; polite assertiveness could go a long way, she learned. In all fairness he was already finished and it's rightfully her turn.

The man continued,  _wipe wipe wipe_ , without regarding her.

Letting her weight shift to one side, her hip protruded as she tapped her foot. Is he ignoring her and taking his sweet time just to bug her? Seemed like it. "Did you hear me?"

That's when she heard the not-so-subtle  _'tch'_  under his breath. Good. Now she knows he's not deaf. "Listen, I have to be in work soon and I want to get my routine done and not stand here all day. You're clearly finished using the machine. I think its been cleaned enough."

If she went to the gym on campus, she wouldn't have this problem, but she decided to come to Stohess Fitness today and sacrifice her time with stupid hopes of stealing a glance at Levi, but instead she's standing here waiting for this little man to stop cleaning the damn equipment.

"How annoying," he had a voice: low and dry it was, and didn't match his small frame at all.

"Excuse you?" Doubting her hearing, she took a step forward. She hoped that his unexpectedly low hum of a voice had caused her to misunderstand him, for his sake. "What did you say?"

"I said you're  _annoying_ ," he whirled around the bench and picked himself up, "and deaf, apparently," and then stood to his full height—if you can even consider that a  _full_  height. The top of his head barely skimmed below her chin, but he had no shame about craning his head up at her to reach her gaze. He made up for his inferiority by showcasing a wrinkled glower. His hair wasn't the only dark feature about him, after all; dark discolored bags circled around his crushingly narrow eyes, making his small beady blue eyes flare like a propane flame.

To top it all off, he approached her in a broad gait that also did not match his size. "Do I need to repeat myself again?" his voice was flat and dead—not like the cheerful Munchkins on  _The Wizard of Oz_  at all. Childhood officially ruined.

Taken by surprise as she were, Mikasa's mouth gaped a little and she shook her head, not as his question, but in stunned disbelief.

Yes, she's fully aware that she was being a little direct, but she wasn't being rude enough to be talked back to like that. The stranger even had the gall to send a dirty look up at her—or maybe his face naturally looked that miserable. Who knows, but either way the sight of it pissed her off. "Yeah, you might have to. I can't hear you all the way down there."

"Oho," his thin brows spiked up, his lips forming a gap like he was smugly offended. If she didn't know any better she would think he was  _enjoying_  this prelude of an argument. "Aren't your comebacks unique." He took a step forward and Mikasa reflexively braced herself. "Why don't you just go fuck off? No one likes bimbos like you coming through here and insulting everyone left and right."

Gasping, Mikasa took a step forward defensively, looking down at him like a bug she wanted to squish. Where is this belligerent midget getting that far fetched accusation? All she did was politely ask if he would be finished soon. "I  _insulted_  you? Wha— I asked you  _nicely_  if you would be finished soon and you were a dick to me so now I'm returning the same treatment. I just wanted to use the machine but you refused to give it up and instead insulted  _me_."

With a grunt, the shorty held his ear like her voice was a pesky shrill he couldn't bare. Mikasa grid her teeth until her her gums pulsated. What an absolute child.

"Quit twisting everything to suit you. Figures a bimbo like you would throw sissy fit when you don't get your way. Sorry to burst your bubble, princess, but you can't just stomp your heel and get your way while I'm around."

The internal pot that had began to simmer just boiled over. Mikasa rose her voice, heat rose to her face as well. "Who do you think you're talking to? I can wipe the floor with you without even trying."

A pair of blue specks eyed her up and down skeptically, a brow upturned. "Really now. I'd like to see you try."

He'd like that, wouldn't he? He's probably one of those sick perverts that got off to arguing and violence. Judging by his foul attitude, she'll guess a woman hasn't touched him in years. If she were to hit him, he'd probably love it. Unfortunately for him, she had no intentions of satisfy his sick desires, but if he kept running his mouth there's no telling where her impulses will lead her.

"I'll have to show you in a few years, I have a policy against hitting tiny children."

With a bleary sigh, he rolled his neck with a cringe-worthy crack. "The short insults are kind of getting old now. Is your brain too small to come up with something a little more clever? Come on, get creative. I have time."

"I'm sorry, but you must be  _this tall_  for me to give a fuck," she gestured her hand a few inches above his head. "Anyway, I  _don_ _'_ _t_  have time, so move,  _manlet_."

With the way he curled his lip up in a hateful snarl at her, it was easy to assume that wasn't the first time he was called that.

"Maybe that's for the best," he wrung out his towel, so tight his knuckles turned white, likely while imagining it was her neck. "I'm going to loose more brain cells if I stay here and talk to you." The shorty walked off, grazing passed her, and just when Mikasa was about to collect herself he tossed the rag over his shoulder back at her.

Mikasa's eyes goggled in shock—she saw the white blur hurling toward her, but her reflexes reacted too late. The rag, damp with manlet-sweat, was caught with her face. She shuffled to catch it before it hit the ground and nearly tripped as she whipped it at the back of his head, a pitch worthy of the Major Leagues.

"How  _dare_  you." It was then she noticed they gained a nosy audience—but she didn't care about them. Right now, her tunnel vision was locked on  _him._  "Tell me, is there a specific reason why you bully girls for no reason? I'm going to take a wild guess and say that's your sick way of revenge because it's nearly impossible to get a date when you're a  _miserable_   _manlet._ "

By the way his neck stiffly coiled back like a rusty gear, Mikasa thought it would keep going around like a possessed owl. Looking pass the eerie sight, she could tell that she hit the bulls-eye.

The most vilest look was thrown at her—it was then that she realized that no one had ever given her such a cruel glare before. His eyes had turned to chips of frostbitten ice and fixated on her, and his words laced in venom just as deadly. "Fuck off, I bet it's easy for a loose airhead like you."

"...What are you implying?" her voice was thin. She had a good guess, but she wanted to confirm before she put him in the hospital.

"Just go back to whatever sorority you came from and try not to vomit on the random Joe you bring back to your bed tonight."

His nasty words left her speechless and shuddering in incurable rage, her clenched fists trembled at her sides as she steamed like a whispering kettle.

Her heel stomped into the ground so hard she's surprised the flooring didn't cave in. " _ARGH!_ " She let out the fierce roar that had begged for release. Her throat stung dryly after. "I never met someone  _so annoying_  in my life!"

Typical for cold hearted bastard, his expression never wavered, as if unbreakable. He folded his arms and tipped his chin up, a deep frown pulling down his lips. "The feeling is mutual."

Well at last they agreed on one thing.

The furious staring contest commenced. Their duel with words still spiraled around them, binding them together into an air-locked grudge. The deadly aura radiating from them could not only be felt a mile away, but the heavy grudge had enough of weight to bring down the building around them.

From an outsiders perspective, they appeared to be long time moral enemies that vowed a never ending war, when in reality they just met and just so happened to hate each others guts.

Funny, Mikasa came in here looking for Levi, thinking it would be love at first site but all she got in his place was this pathetic excuse of a man that probably got off on bullying girls because so many rejected him in the past. A sick way of revenge and an even sicker treat for his loins. What an absolute  _Sicko_.

Disgusted at the sight of him, Mikasa stomped off, bumping his shoulder as she did but the little man didn't even budge. But then, with sudden realization, she whirled around and strode back. The man watched her indecisive agitation silently and the way he calmly stood and mocked her with his eyes made her want to punch him just so she could see that stone face of his flinch.

"You know what? No. I'm not leaving. Your time is up and it's my turn now.  _You_  leave," she demanded and stayed rooted in her spot, giving his chest a poke. His peck felt as hard as stone. She stifled a laugh. He's a tiny buff trouble maker at the gym. Now he has all the vital necessities to me a  _true_  manlet. King of all Manlets.

Spitefully, he folded his arms like a little runt refusing to leave the playground after dusk. His wide stance made him look even shorter. "I don't take orders from rude bimbos."

"Oh my God," Mikasa was a second away from ripping out her hair. Or his. That would probably be more satisfying. Half of his head is already buzzed, she might as well do him a favor and get rid of the rest. Now that she thought about it, his haircut irritated her too: it reminded her of her ex. Everything about him just irritated her _so much_. "You're such a brat."

"I'm a brat? Ha. That's rich coming from a young bitch with a princess complex."

"How sweet, I bet you say that to all the girls that don't give you the time of day."

He bit his inner cheek. Every time she mentioned his inability to get a girl it seemed to hit a tender spot—which was good news for her; it's always a good advantage to know your enemy's weakness.

He finally strode past her, admitting defeat, but not before letting out a low, " _bitch._ "

She let him have the final word. If she went back at him she might win the battle but she would lose time spent arguing instead of working out, and if she really got heated with him she'd probably be late for work (or be placed under arrest) and that shorty wasn't worth that much.

Mikasa was lucky enough to have a way to vent her current frustration. She not only made up for lost time, she prematurely graduated up another ten pounds on the weights. Call it raging high, but she found the mixture of working out and being angry to be enthralling. Fighting with that manlet had one perk, at least. She had her earbuds in, her playlist on shuffle with Marina and the Diamonds currently playing—Heartbreaker was one of those songs that always got her pumped up and helped her push harder during her reps. The music also lifted her spirits slightly, and soon enough the internal echo of the shorty's harsh words drowned out.

Meanwhile across the way, two men raced side by side on the treadmills. The taller man peeked down to his left at the man striding beside him at a faster pace, roughly sweeping his arms with an ominous scowl. He was dead focused on something in the distance.

"You're staring," he kindly pointed out to his smaller friend.

"Am not. I'm just—in the zone."

" _Right._ "

Levi hooked a dangerous gaze up at Erwin's grin. A hint of question swimming in his eyes. "Why would I be staring at that bimbo anyway?"

"Never said you were staring at  _her_." A delighted air traveled in his words. Levi was pretty sure Erwin got off on being a manipulative shit.

"But I guess I already know why you're staring at her," Erwin started confidently, leaving Levi in anticipation as he changed his speed to match his. "She's cute and feisty and not afraid to call you out. That's just how you like em'."

When Levi regrouped with Erwin earlier, he ranted about his pesky encounter with the bimbo and Erwin laughed it off and recited his daily catchphrase:  _'You have no luck with wom_ _e_ _n'_.

"I'm already interested in a girl like that, remember?" Levi reminded him.

He blinked up in recall and stole a breath. "Right, the girl from the dating website. When do you plan to meet, anyway?"

As if his heart didn't quicken enough already with just the  _thought_  of meeting Mikasa in person, Levi boosted up the speed, silently challenging Erwin. "I don't know, I'm waiting for the right opportunity to ask, or waiting for her to make the first move because I'm chicken shit." His breath was ragged, but after a forced gulp of air he carried on. "I don't want to sound like a creep or make her feel obligated to meet me if she's not ready. We talk every night now and I think she might be interested in me, but I just hope she's not too horribly disappointed when she see's me. "

Right then, Levi cringed. That motherly stare had targeted directly on him.  _Here it comes_ , he thought.

"You really oughta give yourself more credit. You're a good looking guy, Levi."

"You have to say that or I'd fire you."

"Nah. Being your editor isn't glamorous enough to fib for."

He shot a look up at Erwin, but his sharp features dampened, a frown tugging down his lips when he took in the chiseled and defined features of his friend. How could anyone believe a compliment coming from a man that looked like fucking Ozymandias? It felt more like a pity praise or a cruel joke because Levi, in terms of looks, was completely different than Erwin. Everything about them contrasted immensely. They were about as similar as the sun and moon. Erwin shined with casual elegance, blessed with all the glimmering qualities of a perfect dream boat, where Levi was basically a little broken canoe, scrapped together with the leftover supplies no one else wanted. This is why he couldn't believe Erwin. How could a five-foot-three, thirty year old man who appeared to be a pissed off teenager with an obsessive personality be attractive to any  _sane_  female?

"She's probably expecting someone like you," Levi said with a bitter tongue, skimming over him with the corner of his eye. "Someone masculine and tall, mature looking. I'm thirty but I still look like a fucking teenager. That bimbo over there is an idiot but she was right about a few things. Girls don't give me the time of day because all they see is a scary baby-faced midget. And in all honestly I don't have a personality to compensate for it either. I can't pull the  _'don't judge a book by its cover'_  crap or the  _'I'm Mr. Nice Guy'_  line because my personality is just as shitty as my looks."

The sound of their hammering stomps padding against the treadmill filled the voiceless ambiance as Erwin took his time to think. "But you get along great from what I heard. I haven't heard a peep of complaint from you about her, and that on its own is a damn miracle. You said she's a collage student, right?" Erwin allowed himself to swallow and let in a dry breath, he was really breaking into a sweat now. Keeping up with Levi's pace wasn't an easy task. "She would like being with a youthful-looking guy with a mature mind. She's probably around a bunch of brainless, toga wearing jocks. You'll be refreshing sight."

Levi hadn't really thought about it like that, but it still felt like Erwin was passing off false hope to him. He didn't want to argue though, because winning an argument against Erwin Smith is either impossible or isn't satisfying and just leaves the victor feeling guilty when he stares defeated with those baby blue puppy eyes.

"...I hope you're right." Levi left the conversation at that. Inserting his ear buds, he swiveled his volume to its maximum level and accelerated his running. Every so often, he'd unwillingly catch his eyes falling back over to that bimbo, trying so damn hard with every fiber of his stubborn being not to admit she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

**~x~**

Unfortunately, Mikasa's free time was coming to an end and she had to start packing up and readying to leave. And also, she had to except that she wouldn't be seeing Levi today. It was a dumb idea from the start. But maybe if she didn't have to waste so much time quibbling with that exasperating manlet she would've had some extra time to search around. But really, Sasha's scheme was stupid from the beginning—it's just easier to blame everything that went wrong today on that asshole.

At least she managed a quick, yet energizing workout that pushed her body to the brink. One thing went right today. Feeling parched, Mikasa loped over to the complementary water cooler propped along the backside wall to reward herself with some chilled water. Once her cup was filled, she stepped aside and let the next person in line grab a cup, but when he centered his cup beneath and pressed the latch, not a drop of water poured out.

"Hm." The knelling man hummed, trying again.

"It's not working?" Mikasa leaned over to get a closer look, hoping she could offer some help. The jug was filled with water, she couldn't imagine why it wasn't releasing anything. It must be the faucet itself. Maybe it became clogged or the latch itself was faulty.

"If you want, you can just have mine," she offered her cup to him. "I didn't drink from it yet. I'm leaving anyway, I'll just buy some bottled water on the way out."

"Thank you, but I couldn't. Besides, I needed another drink for my friend over there," he pointed a thumb back and Mikasa's default expression distorted into disgust, like she suddenly smelt something foul. The person he pointed to was no one other than that damn little man himself, who was currently running on the treadmill. He ran impressively fast, she'll give him that and nothing else.

"He's your  _friend?_  Hmph." she folded her arms with a criticizing pout. "You must have a lot of patience,"  _and a bad choice in friends_ , she wanted to add but bit back the words.

The blond chuckled humbly, pulling himself up from his crouched position. "You might be right about that. He's not so bad once you get to know him. I promise he only looks scary."

"He doesn't scare me." She slanted over, peeking behind the bulky man, her folded arms guarded as impenetrable as her grudge. The deadly daggers zoomed in on the shorty so sharply that they pricked him, subtly disrupting his stride by the looks of it. Jerking his attention to her, he returned the stare with ten times more intensity.

The blond man sidestepped in front of her to block the heated staring contest. "I know he won't apologize, so let me say in his stead that he's sorry. As long as I'm around I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again."

He must've saw the scene they made earlier, or maybe the little baby ran back to his friend and whined about how the mean lady picked on him. How pathetic is it that his friend needed to apologize for him? Is that manlet that prideful that he can't say he's sorry even after he was in the wrong? Pathetic. "Thank you, but—"

"Oi," the voice made Mikasa lurch forward, the tone alone making her skin crawl. When the man in front of her turned, he revealed the pipsqueak approaching, swiping a towel to catch the sweat on his brow. "I asked you to get us drinks, not cackle around the water cooler like a mother hen."

Looking at the manlet again, he looked even smaller compared to his tall friend beside him. That must be a world record for being that short  _and_  miserable.

She shouldn't butt into their relationship, but she's still brewing in leftover rage and even him walking his stunted legs over here made her more annoyed with him. He acts like he can just treat people any way he wanted. Not only was he an asshole to her, but he's being rude to someone he considered a friend. Does he have no shame? Mikasa had a feeling he was taking advantage of his friend, who might be too humble to stick up for himself.

"That's rude. If you wanted water you should get it yourself. You're not the boss of him."

The shorty plucked a cup for himself, ignoring her at first, but darted his eyes to her rapidly. "For your information,  _I am_  the boss of him. By the way, who asked for your shitty opinion?"

She snorted offendedly but kept her lip tucked tight. She propped up against the cooler, sending judgmental stares down at him. Not a drip came out for him either. "It's not working. Do you think we're standing around here for our health?"

"Well you got your cup filled just fine," he pointed out, "you probably  _broke it_."

"I didn't  _break it._ "

His friend chuckled, Mikasa frowned bitterly and the shorty began to shake the cooler like an unmannerly thug trying to break into an ATM. He must be aggressive to make up for every thing else he lack—no wonder why he had a shitty personality.

"That's not helping. Actually, you being here isn't helping at all. Why don't you fuck off and go sign up for children's yoga?"

He continued to rattle the cooler, then gave up with a strong final kick. "And why don't you go back to the frat house and fuck another round of guys, bitch."

"Hey now—" his friend's face popped to a look of concern, but Mikasa was past that emotion. She ruptured and entered a state of blind rage.

"You know what?  _I'm done._  Here's your water, asshole." The filled cup in her hand upended over his head. While he was lost in a dazed state, she threw the plastic cup right in his face with fierce intensity once all the water had spilled out. With that, Mikasa made her grand exit. Her only regret was that she wished she poured acid into his face instead of water.

The woman took off in a flash and Levi finally looked down at the soaked damage, his shirt was drenched and in need to be wrung like a mop. As he peeled the fabric away from his skin, water droplets dripped from his bangs. Soon that ice cold water was evaporating into hot steam off his head.

"Did...Did she just do what I  _think_  she did?"

A couple of girls passed by, giggling at the sight of Levi and he stepped into their path, about to give those bimbo a piece of his mind too before he heard Erwin say something that pissed him off  _far_  worse.

"You kind of deserved that. You really have no luck with women, Levi." Erwin chuckled, and for that he earned himself a punch to the gut.

**~x~**

Levi and Erwin packed up and departed from Stohess Fitness shortly after the incident with the temperamental bitch. Levi intended to stay a little longer in hopes of taking out his anger on the boxing bag, but Erwin consulted him into leaving, telling him it was best to hurry home and get started on his work.

The last thing Levi wanted to do was work today. When he became annoyed or angry, or in this case, both, he found inspiration hard to come by. Plus the weather was shitty and gloomy. Overall it's a bad day; one of those days he should've stayed in bed. Carving a way down the busy street, they arrived near the crosswalk and idled around for the light to change. While waiting and fighting against the wind from the winter storm brewing and the commuters racing pass, Levi strangely felt a sense of calmness that sparked just the faintest spike in his mood.

"She works here," Levi moved to the side to make room for others to pass by, then stalled slowly, gawking upward.

Erwin turned back, following the trail of Levi's fixated gaze. "Mikasa?"

"Yeah." Levi flapped up his white woven scarf past his lips and looked up to the sign displaying the logo of the two tail mermaid. When he lowered his eyes he saw his reflection in the dark tinted window with advertisements displaying limited edition Christmas blends decorated on posers.

Erwin retraced his steps, shoving his hands in his pockets. "So, what? Are you going in to say hello?"

Levi had passed here nearly every day after his time at the gym and he always fought the urge to stop in and do just that. "I've been thinking about it for a few days, but..."

"You're shy," Erwin jumped to his own assumptions, "but I'll come with you. Problem solved?"

"Shut up," he pinched his scarf down so Erwin could see the expression of the man he accused of being  _shy_. Somehow, though, Erwin saw through the stone mask he wore and smiled wordlessly. Levi should've saw that coming. Erwin is the mother he never had, after all, or in other words he was  _Erwin: The Levi Whisperer_ , as Hanji dubbed him as at one drunken gathering. Levi luckily left the bar during the banter when they began to compare him to a yapping Chihuahua and Erwin being the wielder of a spray bottle aimed at his snout. Hardly was he that submissive, not without getting a good chew out of Erwin's ankle would he ever relent to his every will, or so he tried to tell himself.

"I don't get shy," Levi lied. "And you being there would just make it worse. I don't know. I would like to know what she looks like—but I don't want to put her on the spot at work."

Waltzing in and saying  _'hi, I'm the stranger you talk to online'_  isn't the best way to go about his first introduction. Also, he had to take into consideration that she might not be able to reject him in front of employees and customers if he didn't meet her standards. It wasn't nice of him to put her on the spot like that.

"Then don't tell her who you are. Just go in as a customer and order some coffee."

"I'm pretty sure when she writes my fucking name on the coffee cup it'll ring a bell for her—Levi isn't exactly a common name around here." Even if he had enough balls to meet Mikasa today, Ymir and her bimbo girlfriend will surely make the experience even more uncomfortable—definitely not the type of meeting he envisioned.

"Then just pop in, browse the menu and leave after you got a good look at her."

After considering of it briefly, Levi downcasted his gaze almost shamefully and shook his head. It felt like a scheme and any scheme Erwin Smith conducted felt shady. That's no way to start a healthy relationship with Mikasa. "Forget it," he began to drift down the pavement, intending to blend in with the sea of people crossing the street. He didn't want to see her until they mutually decide to meet, he decided. It would be a sneaky move to check her out first.

Noticing Erwin wasn't following his lead, he hooked back around—and Erwin's attention was fixated on the window. "Now I'm kind of curious," he pointed to the banner advertising Gingerbread Latte. "And craving coffee. That looks delicious."

"Don't you  _fucking_  dare."

As he chuckled, Erwin stepped over to reach out to pat his shoulder, but Levi's ominous stare never faded. It was like petting a mouth-foaming puppy. "C'mon, that's not breaking any rules if  _I_  see her. How can I fish her out among the other employees?"

Just by asking such a thing you could see how much nerve Erwin had. Levi wanted to tell him no and just head back to the car, but Erwin had his mind up and there's no changing that. With a sigh, he gave in. "You'll know."

Erwin knitted his thick brows together doubtfully. "How? I don't have any hint to what she looks like either."

"Whichever employ is not a lesbian must be Mikasa," he mumbled into his scarf.

"How can you tell who's a lesbian or not...?"

"Short blondie is practically glued to bitchy freckles in there—it's plainly obvious. Trust me."

"Noted. I'll be back."

And Levi anxiously and cowardly waited his return outside with his back pressed against the brick.

They're only a wall apart—he could just whoosh open that door and see the person behind all those nightly messages. But he can't bring himself to do it, not yet. But Erwin checking out the scene first isn't too terrible, at least he could question him a little to quench curiosity.

The aroma of coffee and toasty heating must be welcoming to most guests that pile in here, but for an overworked Starbucks barista like Mikasa, she started to associate the smell of coffee with this cruddy job. Even when she's off the clock she tends to get war-like flashbacks at the scent of it, remembering the many rush hours she endured alone because her no-good co-workers are paid to screw around all shift.

"As soon as you're out of college, I'm going to marry you!" the girl painted with freckles cheek to cheek cheered.

"Congrats," Mikasa spat back bitterly at the couple behind her. Even though she was only an hour into her shift, strains of her hair had sprung awkwardly out of place and her eyes looked as frigid as a restless zombie. "But could you save some of the kissing for your honeymoon and  _help me_  for once?"

With sudden concern, Christa popped her worried eyes over the counter and skimmed the long line that Mikasa had been tackling on her own. Christa gasped and pleadingly grabbed her girlfriend by the arms. "She's right, we really should help her, Ymir!"

But Ymir simply covered the little blonde's ears. "Shhh. Don't listen to her, baby. She's trying to come between our love."

"But Ymir—" Christa's lips were silenced by a finger.

" _Shhhh._ "

And now they're back where they started. Mikasa should've known better than to ask those love birds to contribute to the rush. Knowing she had no one to rely on, she did what she's been doing since being hired: she bravely took every order thrown at her. At times like this it felt like she needed a hell of a lot more than espresso shots to keep up with the herds of hipsters and impatient businessmen that took out their frustrations on her on their break.

Just before she drained her battery, the seats were packed with satisfied customers and the line shortened. Just as Mikasa finished up another order, she spun around to greet the next customer in line—and the man nearly buckled his knees at the sight of her.

"Could I help you?"

Before Mikasa's eyes widened in recall, she had observed the customer and the way his blinking eyes peered at her and then landed static on Ymir and Christa sucking face in the background. She figured he was a pervert until his blue eyes suddenly sparked recognition for her.

"Wait... Aren't you that guy from the gym?" she asked and he guiltily swallowed hard, loosening his navy blue scarf.

"Uh...yeah." his eyes cornered swiftly. The man seemed different than he did an hour ago, a little tense as he ran a finger through his scarf. Mikasa had dubbed him as an easy going and confident man before, but now he had an entirely different vibe.

With his palms flat on the counter, his eyes shifted around, his voice a low drone, "Tell me, is there anyone else who works here?"

The man kind of gave off a cop vibe _—_ this might turn into something exciting; maybe he's hunting down some felon like in those detective drama's—but she didn't know any escaped convicts around here, so she simply looked around dumbly, then pointed out the useless couple in the back. "It's just them and myself. Are you looking for someone in particular?"

The man moved his gaze down, blinking a few times, then broke the stare with a rupturing laugh. Mikasa took a step back at that, her body reacting defensively.

The man's shoulders shook as he waved off her question. "Oh no. I found what I was looking for."

Mikasa lifted her brows. Scratch the cop vibe. Now she's starting to see why he hangs out with that weird manlet, he's a weirdo himself. He's just less obvious.  _A_   _C_ _loset_ _W_ _eirdo_.

To break the awkward air, Mikasa resorted to typical procedure. "Now that you found whatever it was you were looking for, what can I get you?"

The man looked dazed, like she spoke another language. Then his expression popped as if he just now remembered his objective for coming in here. "Just one of those Gingerbread Latte's. Large, please."

"You mean  _Grande_ ," Ymir interrupted, rolling her tongue for emphasis on the word.

Mikasa wanted to snap back and ask if she had time to take her tongue away from her girlfriend for a second to make pointless corrections, she had time to wipe down the tables, but she bit back her tongue when she realized how pointless that would be.

"Oh," the man pointed to the clear showcase display, housing questionably-fresh sweets. "One of those cookies, too. My friend likes those," he shook his head, grinning, "he'll definitely need to spoil himself with sweets to pick up his spirits," he said under his breath.

" _That_  friend?" Mikasa asked coldly.

The customer only smirked apologetically in reply. With the tongs she picked out the most unappetizing cookie in the batch, the rock-hard burnt one that's been sitting there for days on the bottom with the least amount of chocolate chips. As she rolled it up in a brown bag, she 'accidentally' snapped the cookie in half and gave it a subtle squeeze so most of it chipped away into little crumbs of crispy dust. Of course, she made sure to do this stealthy out of the customers sight.

Tossing the cookie down, (hoping that sabotaged it further) she then picked out a cup, a marker and asked the name of the customer so she could commenced Starbucks stupid ritual.

"Erwin," he said.

While scribbling down his name with marker, she asked, "So tell me, Erwin. Did your little friend run away to dry himself off, or is he still bullying girls at the gym?"

She was relieved that asshole didn't accompany him. If he had, she could think of a few more acts of revenge to get back at him, like screwing up his order or writing Manlet or Shorty on his cup. Now that she thought of it, she wished he did stop by. That would've been a nasty, yet fun break away from her duties. But when he thought of how heated their continued argument might've got, she didn't think it was worth her job.

"Ah—" Erwin guffawed uneasily, flatting his hands out on the counter, shaking his head with a smile as he mumbled. Mikasa made it out to say: " _H_ _e really has no luck with wom_ _e_ _n._ "

After speedily making up the order, she searched for a lid, still invested in their conversation."...The pipsqueak? Yeah, I'm not surprised." If he had a better attitude she wouldn't have pointed out his flaws, because that's just not something normal people like herself do. But he pushed all the wrong buttons on her until she had a meltdown. If he didn't let things escalate as they did, she would've had no problems with him and there would've been no need to degrade him in public. Just the fact that he made her scoop low enough to insult someone she barely knew made her even more mad at him.

"Wait. Please, let me explain in his place," Erwin not only shuffled around his wallet, but shuffled his words as well, intending to defend his no good friend again. "He's been very stressed lately and I'm sure he didn't mean anything he said. He usually keeps to himself, but you must've ignited a spark in him."

"I did? He provoked me." Mikasa hit total and he swiped his card, "You shouldn't stick up for him. Stressed or not he shouldn't behave that way."

"You're absolutely right, I'm not trying to excuse his behavior, just trying to give you some perspective. If the two of you met under better circumstances I'm  _certain_  you would've gotten along perfectly."

"What makes you so sure?" Tentatively, she held out his order to him. She'd never get along with someone like him. Even if she tried to hold a conversation with him it wouldn't end well.

"I just know," he took hold of the cup. "It was very nice meeting you, Mikasa."

As the customer departed, she tilt her head, wondering how he knew her name—well, the  _incorrect_ _pronunciation_  of her name because not one damn American could get it right the first time—but when she belatedly remembered she was wearing a name tag that the man must've noted sometime during their conversation, she shrugged it off and went back to work.

**~x~**

Levi pushed himself off the wall the moment he saw Erwin and that knowing smirk of his exit the building. He approaching him hastily, feeling envious that those eyes crinkled in amusement had likely seen the embodiment of Mikasa. Erwin strolled down the pavement and Levi trailed behind like a hungry stray, starved for a hint, a description, anything Erwin would feed him about Mikasa.

"What's with that stupid look on your face?" Levi asked.

"Oh, nothing. You're in for a surprise, though."

"...Why? Did you see her?'

"Isn't it obvious?" Erwin held out his cup and pointed out his name neatly written on it. "She even served me."

Levi gawked at Mikasa's handwriting for an embarrassing amount of time. Something so simple shouldn't even hold his attention span. He shook his head away from the cup, there were more important matters to consider. "Don't start with the riddle shit. Tell me straight out. Why am I in for a surprise?"

Erwin pushed his shoulders up, sipping his coffee with the same curled smile. Levi secretly hoped he'd spill the scalding cup all over himself. Just the thought made Levi want to run into incoming traffic, but he knew it was time to commence the Guessing Game. "What, is she really some seventy year old man? Spit it out."

"No, no. She's a very cute college girl, just the type of girl you like."

Levi was relieved to hear that. Sometimes when he's totally not procrastinating from work, his remote slips and tunes to MTV (totally not by his own accord) and the show Catfish had proved not everyone on the internet is who they say. Hell, even Levi lied about a few things about himself online, like his height for one because writing  _5'3_  was far too painful.

That reminded him—Mikasa never got around to filling in certain blanks on her profile. Her height was still one of the many things he wondered about her. It was strange how she didn't fill in that section, yet he knew other  _strange_   _facts_  about her...which he tried to overlook. The reason why he even cared about her height wasn't because it held any importance to him, but merely because he knows many girls refuse to date men shorter than them. He personality doesn't care if a girl is taller, he kind of prefers it actually; he usually feels awkward about being the tall one in a relationship because of how rare that was to come by. But if she is short like Christa he can definitely get used to it.

This might be cheating from the  _rules_  but he's going to ask, "How tall is she?"

"Taller than you—sorry."

His eye twitched at the use of the word  _sorry_ , like he was so sure Levi was supposed to be disappointed at that.

That little slice of info satisfied him, but made him anxious at the same time. If he didn't stop now, he'll interrogate Erwin until he had a perfect sketch of her in his mind. "Alright, don't tell me anymore."

"Wasn't planning on it."

They walked onward in external silence, but Levi's mind was anything but quiet. On one hand, he didn't want to spoil himself too much because he wanted to be surprised when he saw her—but according to Erwin he's  _already_  in for a surprise. If she's cute and the age she says she was, then what could this surprise be all about? Is Erwin just trying to add unnecessary suspense to get him even more worked up about meeting Mikasa in person? That doesn't seem in-character for Erwin, though. He always had a shit sense of humor and pranking others for the sake of his own entertainment isn't his style.

"You failed to mention the surprise, Erwin."

"You told me not to say anymore. I agreed and I stand by my word. Plus, ruining surprises wouldn't be very nice of me."

"Even though you're exceedingly talented at it,  _don't play dumb_. I don't want you to tell me anything else about her, but I still need to know what this surprise is—is it good or bad?" Levi couldn't imagine how it would be bad. Erwin confirmed she was who she said she was and that she was an attractive young female. He was only in there for a few minutes, so Levi couldn't imagine how he could've found out a deal-breaking truth about her real life personality. If it was a good surprise, it could mean that Erwin knows she's his type or he knows they'll hit it off in person.

"Hmm." Erwin thought it over as he looked upwards toward the gray sky. Light flurry wrenched from the clouds and lightly descended down, melting on his face and the asphalt. "The surprise could be seen both ways."

"What kind of bullshit answer is that?" If you conjoin the good and the bad, could that mean that she would be  _h_ _i_ _s_  type, but out of his league? Is that what he's implying? Levi already suspected that a week ago. "What, does that freaky mind of yours already know she wouldn't be interested in a guy like me or something? You need to tell me before I get involved with her further."

Erwin sighed, weighing down Levi with a serious glare. "You really don't understand women at all."

With a wrinkled brow, Levi brushed off the snow flakes sticking to his coat. "You keep saying that, but I don't see you with a girlfriend. Come to think of it, I haven't seen you with a girlfriend since Marie, and she rather marry a  _goat_  than you."

"Women are tricky creatures—but you lack even the basic knowledge about them. And for the record, even if I did have someone, they would think I was cheating on them because you already swallow up all my free time—and some are against dating people with a child."

Levi screeched to a sudden stop, blinking at Erwin as he slowly spun around, still innocently sipping his latte.

"...What the fuck? Since when do you have a child?" It was right then that his and Mikasa's conversation revisited him. "Wait...do you... have a child named Armin?"

"Wha—Who?" Erwin choked at the unforeseen accusation, his eyes popped. " _No_. I was making a joke. I'm trying to say you're basically my child since I always take care of you and program you to do everything."

"Oh." They then walked up the flight of stairs of the parking garage, housing them from the sudden downpour of flurries. "I see your sense of humor is still shit," Levi's voice echoed against the enclosed concrete walls. When they came to the third story, he pulled out his keys and unlocked his Mustang from afar. His taillights flashed, illuminating the dark lot with a hue of red.

"Yeah, I know. I'm trying to work on it."

It's just not in his blood. Erwin should give up already and accept the fact that he was never meant to make others laugh. Unless they're laughing at how much he embarrasses himself and others. That's actually hilarious and made Levi crack a smirk on many occasion, so long as he's not embarrassing  _him,_ that is.

They hopped into the car and Levi turned the ignition. Fiddling with the switches a moment, the heating poured out in a roaring hot yawn and he immediately defrosted his hands against the vents.

Once they warmed up a bit, Levi sat back and said, "You still have something to tell me."

Erwin fastened his seat belt and situated himself, all without looking at him once. Levi, being so fluent in Erwin's body language, translated that into:  _'My lips won't open for free, it's going to cost you.'_

"I'll have my manuscript done by tomorrow if you tell me," Levi haggled him for the truth, though the bribe itself may have been far from it.

Erwin finally blinked his eyes over, a jeering glare boring into him. "Now we both know that isn't true."

Of course he saw through him. Levi innocently forgot that Erwin Smith was the only one who saw him for what he was under the mask he wore: an insecure liar that performed the role of adult convincingly enough when in reality he's a procrastinating child who would rather write hate mail on the internet like a PMSing teenager until his fingertips were bruised and anonymous users are wounded rather than do actually work he's paid for. This is the man that Erwin saw and knew him as. Others buys his facade at face value, finding him inspiring, hardworking and responsible. Not many things in this world made Levi genuinely laugh, but that certainly made him chuckle on a few occasions.

Erwin was the only man still alive who could not only tame Levi's moods and set him on the right path, but he saw him for he was. It was a special bond they shared. This relationship of theirs, however unhealthy it may sound, is rather efficient and normal by their standers. It began when Erwin was his trusted commander, and old habits die harder than the numerous comrades they grieved about together. Even now that Levi is his superior, he can't help but to follow behind and trust Erwin's advice and judgment—hell, a part of him was downright dependent on just that.

"I almost forgot, I got you a little treat," Erwin changed the subject by handing him a small bag from his coat pocket. Levi made a face at it.

"Is this a joke?" A  _treat_? Is Erwin taking Hanji's joke about being Levi's owner to heart?

"No..." From the look on his face, he must've thought he did something wrong, like a dumb Golden Retriever that took a shit on the carpet. "I wanted to give you a reward for the hard work, and for the drama today. And there'll be more where that came from if you get that manuscript done," Erwin plastered on the phony cunning smile of a salesmen.

Levi worked his ass off at the gym and Erwin thinks it's wise to reward him with  _sweets_? It's honestly hard to tell when Erwin was playing dumb or when he was actually having a Dumb Blond Moment. "As if sweets will make me do my work on time."

"Mikasa picked out that cookie herself." Erwin mouth taut, resisting the reflex to smile. "Who knows, maybe she even  _baked_ it."

Oh, he's fucking  _good._ As usual, Levi underestimated his ex-commander.

"But...if you think you won't have it done in time..." Erwin drew back the bag but Levi snatched it up, embarrassingly enough in a desperate haste.

_The Levi Whisperer strikes again._

If he allowed it, he would've felt beyond ashamed with how well Erwin had him trained, but the warmness blooming on his face relocated his thoughts elsewhere, and it wasn't the heat blowing on his face either; it was the type of warmness he's been experiencing for the past week. Levi secured the cookie in the cup holder next to Erwin's coffee. "Monday. Not a day sooner or later." Maybe later. Once the cookie is ingested in his system he couldn't retrieve it from his stomach and make him keep his promise.

Clutching into reverse, Levi slowly backed out of his spot, and while doing so it dawned on him that he had just been  _conned_. He distinctly remembered saying he'd have his work done early if Erwin told him about this apparent surprise—how the fuck did he end up with a _cookie_ instead? That manipulating son of a—

A deafening screech assaulted his ears as he reversed, the screech of metal friction sounded like nails against a chalk board. He stomped the brake, jolting both of them forward.

"I think you just scratched their car." From his side, Erwin reclined his head back to get a better look at the car beside him.

"No shit, commander obvious." Levi stretched his neck over and used Erwin's lap to balance himself, granting him a clear view to inspect the damage. "Damnit, why'd they park so close to me anyway?"

"They're parked fine, you just suck at parking. And driving."

Levi whipped his head to him, and even though their current awkward position made them uncomfortably close, he had no shame about screaming inches from his face."That only happens when you're in the car with me, you fucking passenger driver."

"If blaming me makes you feel better, have at it. But now might be a good time to remind you that you have a court hearing next month for all those traffic tickets you forgot to pay because I didn't remind you to pay them. You know, the tickets you collected when I  _wasn't_  in the car with you?"

Swallowing a scream, Levi threw himself back into the drivers side, pinching his tear ducts in an irritated fuss. How was it possible for someone to keep a straight face like that but still hear the blatant amusement? Another one of Erwin's special talents, Levi supposed.

"You should leave your number so you could pay for the damage," Erwin coached him, because that was his greatest talent of all.

Now gripping the steering wheel with enough strength to deform it, Levi pounded into it head first. The horn went off and blared through the parking garage.

"Levi, you're turning thirty-one in a couple weeks," Erwin reminded him, yelling over the horn. "You can't throw a tantrum every time you need to do adult things."

With a groan, Levi found the will to animate his body again and flipped open the glove box, pulling out a notepad and pen. He tapped the tip as he thought.

"Just apologize and give your number." Erwin instructed him, likely because he noticed Levi looking blanker than the page.

"I know, mom." He didn't actually know what to say. Even as a writer he's awkward with this type of thing.

Levi scribbled down a simple apology and his number and left the note under the windshield whipper of the purple PT Cruiser, and while doing so he noticed a collection of CD cases of various pop bands stashed on the dash board.

Just for that he believed they  _deserved_  the scratch because 1.  _They're CD_ _'s_. Who the hell even buys those anymore? And 2.  _It_ _s_ _hould_ _be illegal to pla_ _y_ _crappy pop music on_ _public_ _ro_ _ads._  Why? Because it's a danger to society. If Levi heard said crappy pop music at a stop light, there's a high possibility that he'd be in desperate need to escape the music range, evidently causing him to fly into incoming traffic or blow the light and take down a pile of pedestrians like bowling pins.

Luckily, there was no need for road rage today and Levi and Erwin safely drove out of the dark parking lot with zero casualties.

**~x~**

Levi's lethargic steps dragged him into the bedroom where he collapsed face-down on his king size bed. Sitting in one hunched position at his computer desk had his muscles stiffer than a night after boot camp. Even though he was on his last breath and dying of fatigue, he blindly squirmed and searched for his phone hidden somewhere between the blankets. Earlier, he had thrown the cell on the bed in a fuss, sick of Erwin bitching about needing the rough draft of his previous project.

After propping up his pillows and getting comfortable, he signed on to Skype, typed out a message and hit send.

 **Levi:**  I'm still alive (barely) if you were wondering.

_11:12 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Glad to hear it. I was beginning to think I wouldn't met you until your funeral. Are you making any progress on your work?

_11:13 PM_

**Levi:**  Yes and no. I have the general outline set up but I'm lacking the inspiration to write it, so I'm holding it off until tomorrow. My mood just isn't in the right place right now.

_11:15 PM_

Oddly enough, that bimbo bitch was still on his mind, as embarrassing it is to admit even to himself. How dare her go that far. Sure, a little water never hurt anyone (and it did kind of cool him off after a long run on the treadmill) but that was completely uncalled for. He's been going to that gym for years and he'll be damned if some dumb slut is going to make him look like an ass; not that he gives a shit about reputation, but he's been walked on enough by people and he'll be damned if she's going to too.

 **Mikasa:**  What's wrong? Did something happen?

_11:16 PM_

**Levi:**  I just had a shitty day, is all. Nothing I can't handle. How was your day?

_11:16 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Work was busy as usual. I spent the rest of the day studying. The only highlight of my day was checking out Stohess Fitness.

_11:17 PM_

Finding a boost of energy, Levi sat up a bit and scooted up against the headboard. She went today? He flicked his gaze up and followed the rotating ceiling fan as he thought back to this morning. It seemed a century away after all the work he's done. Was Mikasa there around the same time he was? He didn't want to ask, he'd have no way of knowing if he seen her anyway. There were a ton of girls in there he's never seen around before today, trying to pick apart his memory and figure out which one of them he passed or trained along side could've been Mikasa would be impossible.

 **Levi:**  Nice, you finally checked it out. Did you like it?

_11:19 PM_

**Mikasa:** It's more crowded than I'm used to, but the section of equipment was impressive. I didn't have time to sign up for any classes yet, but from what I could tell there's a lot to choose from (including Krav Maga like you said. Score). There were also some nice people I met there, and some assholes but whatever.

_11:22 PM_

It seems like she ran into trouble herself today, but given how alike they are, it's not hard to believe that rude gym goers would target the same type of people. He wondered if that same girl he had a fight with also gave Mikasa a hard time. That bitch just wanted start trouble with anyone and took advantage of anyone who gave her a little taste of her medicine back. That's too bad, though, that Mikasa had a bad experience her first day there. He really wanted her to enjoy her first time at Stohess.

 **Levi:**  It's to be expected. I should've warned you about that. I often run into trouble there myself. Even had an unpleasant encounter with someone obnoxiously rude today too.

_11:24 PM_

**Mikasa:**  The person I argued with was really obnoxious and rude too. I was a second away from beating them with a dumbbell.

_11:24 PM_

**Levi:**  Unfortunately there's a lot of new faces popping up since the college semester started. No offense to you, but your generation tends to take over every year and start up a lot of trouble for the hell of it. They'll be a lot more where that came from. Try not to let anyone bother you. I would hate it if you had to give up a spot you like over that.

_11:26 PM_

**Mikasa:** Don't worry, I still really like the gym. The selection and the layout of the place is great. I won't let one asshole who hates their life bother me.

_11:27 PM_

**Levi:**  To make sure it doesn't happen again, you really should go with someone next time. People alone are always easy targets, that's why I rarely go without a partner.

_11:27 PM_

**Mikasa:** About that, I don't know anyone who really exercises. I have no choice but to go alone.

_11:28 PM_

**Levi:**  I see.

_11:28 PM_

So badly did he want to suggest for them both to pair up—he finally saw the opportunity presenting itself, a way to ask her indirectly to meet. He could offer her assistance with any asshole who bothered her, but he still felt like he'd sound too impatient or weird if he suggested such thing after a week. The message he wished to write was already made up in his head. He wanted to type it up and send it—he might regret it, but he kept his fingers still and kept his offer silent.

Mikasa was taking a while to reply, so long in fact he had time to pour himself a glass of milk and grabbed the cookie off his kitchen counter that Erwin bought for him earlier. He had been saving it until he got some work done to reward himself. Just as he sat back down at the edge of his bed with a bounce, he heard a chime ring off.

 **Mikasa:** You said it's wise to go to the gym with a partner, right? Well. Let's partner up. You could rough up any asshole who tries to start with me and in return I'll have your back too.

_11:39 PM_

Levi's breath stilled in his chest. He blinked, thinking the message would fade away. He reread it again. She stole his words—he wanted to suggest the same but didn't have the guts to ask. This is perfect—it took the anxiety away from asking himself. At least he knows she's ready and he's not rushing her. However, he still needed to confirm and that was still a stressful task. He took a breath, typed out a reply and quickly hit send before he could change his mind.

 **Levi:** Are you saying you want to meet up?

_11:40 PM_

As he waited for a reply, he sat down his phone on his nightstand but kept a close eye on it as he unraveled the rolled up end of the bag. He shook out the cookie, expecting a solid disk to pop into his hands, but instead he was greeted with a small crescent of a piece and crushed grains that cascaded between his fingers and onto his lap and bed.

"Are you  _f_ _ucking_  kidding me?"

A buzzing chime rang off and he had no choice but to reluctantly remove his eyes from the mess with a scowl.

 **Mikasa:**  If you're ready, yeah.

_11:41 PM_

The mess could wait—that was  _definitely_  the first and last time he would ever say that.

He brushed off the crumbs from the bed, intending to sweep it up off the floor in a minute. Either Mikasa sealed the bag with a hammer or it was Erwin's doing, or maybe he crushed it on the way home somehow by mistake. Oh well, he at least as a small unbroken piece—which tasted like old burnt ass when he popped it in his mouth. Not only was it burnt, but it tasted like it had been sitting on the shelf unnoticed until it went hard and expired. He downed a gulp of milk to remove the flavor from his tongue.

 **Levi:**  I'm ready if you are.

_11:42 PM_

**Mikasa:**  Great. Just give me the day and time.

_11:42 PM_

**Levi** **:**  What about tomorrow at 7am? If that's too early for you I'll probably be there until 10ish.

_11:43 PM_

**Mikasa:**  No that's perfect. I start my shift at 10 so I could hang around until then.

_11:43 PM_

**Levi:**  Do you know where the fruit bar is? You probably saw it today, it's just right of the main entrance. We could meet in there if you want.

_11:44 PM_

**Mikasa:** Sounds good. I'm looking forward to it.

_11:44 PM_

**Levi:**  Me too. I'll see you then, Mikasa.

_11:45 PM_

Their conversation this evening ended quicker than usual, usually they talk into the early hours of the morning, but maybe that was for the best—if they chat all night they might run out of things to say by tomorrow. Just realizing that they would be talking  _face-to-face_  tomorrow made Levi concerned for his health momentarily when his heart skipped a beat, but then he remembered that was natural thing for the heart to do when you like someone. It's been so long he almost forgot.

Levi leaped off the bed and found himself with sudden energy he thought he already drained into his article. While he gathered his broom, he sincerely wished the night would come and go already so morning would come. Instead of letting himself get swept away with thoughts of tomorrow, he used that bottled up energy to sweep the cookie crumbs up from the hardwood floors and he clean the sheets while he was at it.

After flipping down the washing machine lid, he pulled himself up onto it and sat on the vibrating surface. Sliding his thumb through his contacts, he considered calling Hanji, but they're probably asleep by now. Besides, they're the last person he wanted to talk to about his plans for tomorrow because they didn't even know who Mikasa was yet (thankfully, because it would be a never-ending interrogation for Levi if they had). Instead, he called someone he strictly  _never_  called first, not unless he was spiritually prepared to be bitched at about work.

"Erwin? It's me."

"It's midnight," he answered groggily.

"Is that your stage name?"

Levi heard him shuffle around on the other line, he must've been sleeping—and the yawn he let out confirmed it. "I figured you wouldn't have any work done for me tonight so I headed off to bed early."

"Well, sorry to wake you, but I have unbelievable news."

"You finished your article?"

"Not  _that_  unbelievable." Levi heard his mouth open, but cut him off just as he was about to enter bitch-mode, "I'm meeting Mikasa tomorrow."

The line went dead.

"...Hello?" Levi sounded genuinely concerned. He knew they weren't disconnect because he could still hear breathing. Erwin's opinions and advice meant a great deal to him. It always worried him when he went quiet. Erwin's the type of man who's quick to tell him what he thought in any situation. When he doesn't give Levi his thoughts, it's usually in an attempt to save him from being hurt. A knot formed in his stomach and tightened. Still hearing the silence made it even worse. "What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just late and I'm half asleep. Good luck with that."

"...Thanks. I'll need it."

"Yeah. Oh, and Levi," he paused. Levi heard the smile. "Do you remember when we first met?"

". . . . . ." Levi twisted his face into a wrinkled mess. He hadn't a clue why he'd bring up ancient history all of a sudden. It was  _suspicious_. Levi adopted his roundabout tongue from him and he was fluent in that language. In other words, everything Erwin said had meaning. Even if it was something simple, odds are there was an important layer of meaning hidden beneath. "Yeah, I do? What's this leading to?"

"Nothing—You're so paranoid. I just suddenly remembered, that's all. You did wake me from a dream, after all. Anyway, do you remember how you felt about me in the very beginning?"

"Of course, I'll never forget. I fucking  _hated_  you. And Mike. You two pinned up against me, beat me into the dirt and treated me like shit when I was a rookie in the service. For a while I found joy in the thought of you dead." Levi stifled a nostalgic sigh. Oh, memories. "But how did the topic of me and Mikasa remind you of that?"

"Like I said, it just popped in my mind. We went from enemies to very dear friends."

"Yes, Erwin. We did." Levi clutched the cell firmer. This was getting creepy. Erwin's not usually the sentimental type. Unless... "Did Nile stock up your bar with booze again? Did you drink yourself into an early slumber? This behavior of yours is unacceptable. Hold on, I'm making reservations at the local rehab clinic."

Erwin's laugh boomed over the phone. "Him and Marie haven't been fighting as of late, so Nile hasn't had a reason to crash at my place and drink away his sorrows. I don't need to be wasted to be reminded of the past a bit, you know."

"Hmm." Levi hummed dubiously, swinging his feet above the spotless tile of the laundry room.

"I'm going back to bed. Try to get some more work done. And good luck tomorrow. Try to keep a positive mindset."

"Okay," Levi taut his mouth to the side. He wanted to question him further and ask if he was really alright, but since Erwin made the decision to end their conversation, Levi figured he was fine. If he really needed to talk to him he would. "I'll talk to you tomorrow and tell you all about how the meet-up went."

"...I'm sure you will."


	5. Not-So-Blind Date

Eren was awake early for the first time in a millennium, mainly because he never went to sleep—he's been playing some online multiplayer game all night. The bad news was he would likely conk out in an hour or two and miss class unless Armin, who was picking him up, had enough brain power to convince him to go.

"I'll fucking...kill you... _all_..." Eren, looking like a wired freak doped up on meth, slurred. The bags under his focused, unblinking eyes were puffy and discolored. Upon further inspection of his haphazard surroundings, Mikasa noticed how almost the entire collection of dishware was dirtied and spread out on the coffee table, consorted with a 12-pack of crushed Pepsi cans. Mikasa supposed even virtual warriors needed substance to energize.

"Would you give that a rest and come eat breakfast?" Mikasa called into the living room, busy preparing a bowl of cereal for him. Even though he ate most of the stock in their kitchen, she wanted to make sure he ate something with vitamins and calcium. Eren's strict diet of S'more Poptarts and Ramen Noodles wasn't going to keep him alive forever.

"Quiet! My party needs me! We've fought through this dungeon all night. I  _must_  get to this boss— _you son of a douche!_ " Eren suddenly slammed the keys of his keyboard, smashing in desperation. "Fucking ogre—how dare you bite my leg off! I hope Fiona leaves you, piece of shit!"

Hunched over the counter, Mikasa bit into her toast while she entertained herself with Eren's visual rage. Watching him was more entertaining than anything on TV this early in the morning.

"There goes my arm—and there goes my fucking health bar!"

It almost looked like he wanted to cry, he gasped as if he felt his 3D-character's pain. It's hard to take Eren's rage seriously, if anything, you could only feel sad because when he got like this, he's being dead serious, as amusing as it might seem.

By the way Eren tossed his headset to the ground and his mouse sailed across the room while he kicked his legs like a teething toddler, Mikasa assumed he died a not-so-heroic death.

"Calm down, you'll respawn." Seeing that the show ended, she pushed herself off the counter and spun around, filling a glass of orange juice for herself.

"I don't need respawns," Eren picked himself up, stretching out after sitting for seven hours straight. "I'm a champion—the lag just screwed me up."

"Sure." Eren always blamed his loses on something. No, The Mighty Yeager couldn't lose, it had to be hackers, campers, the lag or cheaters that made him die because that's much more plausible than having an opponent better than him.

Muttered curses and a gloomy cloud followed Eren as he sat at the counter stool, admitting defeat and sulking over his bowl. Mikasa poured some milk.

"Now that I have your full attention, I have something to tell you." If Eren was depressed by a real life issue, she wouldn't turn everything around and make it all about herself—but she won't cheer him up after losing a stupid game.

"What?" He picked his sulking head up, vaguely interested.

Some suspense filled the room as she paused. Just before Eren was about to grow impatient or lose interest, she said, "I'm meeting Levi today at the gym."

Eren dug in like a piglet chowing down, and finally came up for air. "It's about time."

"If anything were moving too fast," she put voice to her personal concerns. "We've only been chatting a little over a week, but I don't think I could've waited much longer."

Bravely, she had made the suggestion herself to met him. Last night, she was still feeling wounded by the Shorty at Stohess and his hurtful words that stung her and inched under her skin even long after she fled the gym. That nasty encounter was the final breaking point for her. She just needed to see living proof that good guys like Levi existed in the world and not every man was a jackass.

Knowing she couldn't find him on her own, she boldly made the decision to ask Levi straight out and it went better than expected. It only she did that from the  _beginning_ —it's easier to ask than to go about something yourself sometimes, a lesson learned for the future.

"Are you nervous?" Eren asked.

Her shoulders curled shyly. "...A bit."

"You shouldn't be. You'll probably hit it off with him. But if he's a jackass and rejects you, you're strong enough to kick his ass. It's a win-win," he upended his bowl.

Mikasa didn't like the idea of beating up her blind date. She pictured this day going perfectly and beating up Levi just wasn't a part of that idealistic picture she had in mind. Her expectations were high and she had no doubt they'd all be met in the company of such a fascinating man.

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Levi and her got along perfectly online, so she couldn't imagine why they wouldn't hit it off in person. Really, she couldn't believe the day she would finally see him arrived. With as much as they talk and with how much they know about each other already, it felt like they've know each other for years. Their conversations online will now be accompanied with voices and expressions and all of it was just  _so_ _thrilling_. Talking to Levi face-to-face...as much as her stomach did somersaults at the thought, she hardly could contain her excitement and that outweighed other concerns, making it easy to push her nerves down.

Just as Mikasa was about to go into more detail about her and Levi's tryst, Eren's cell phone buzzed in his pocket.

"What." Judging by the cold way he answered, Mikasa quickly recognized the caller as Jean. That was about the nicest greeting you can expect from Eren when it came to his friendly foe. With nothing else to do, she unwillingly listened on to the one-sided conversation.

"...because I died, Apple Jack. If you did your job as a healer that wouldn't have happened!"

Jean must have been in the all night gaming party with Eren. Of course Eren would place the blame on someone again.

Feeling she wasn't awake enough to listen to the banter, she turned her attention to her own phone. As much as she liked talking to Eren, he was a boy and even someone composed as herself needed to talk to another female for matters concerning other boys. There's no doubt that Sasha was excitable enough to make her even more hyped up for her plans today.

Mikasa told her about the impending meet up and how she had no luck finding him at the gym yesterday. They talked a while longer, and Sasha asked questions Mikasa didn't have answers to yet, but Sasha honestly seemed more verbally excited than her. It was nice to get some of that needed girl talk out of her system. Sasha wished her good luck, and Mikasa left the conversation with promises of telling her everything later.

Just as she was about to set her phone down, she received a Skype notification. Every time she heard that little  _ding_  her heart would skip a beat because she knew it was Levi—none of her other friends used Skype anymore. Honestly, she never used it much to begin with, but she hadn't enough nerve to ask for Levi's phone number.

 **Levi:**  Good morning.

_6:12 AM_

**Mikasa:**  This is a first. We never talk in the morning.

_6:12 AM_

**Levi:**  Unless we stayed up all night talking into the morning.

_6:13 AM_

**Mikasa:**  True. You weren't up all night, right?

_6:13 AM_

**Levi:**  I'm afraid I can't agree without lying, but it's nothing a cup of coffee can't fix. We're still on for today, right?

_6:14 AM_

**Mikasa:**  Yes, nothing changed. I'm heading out to Stohess in a few.

_6:15 AM_

**Levi:**  Good, but that actually wasn't the only reason why I decided to bother you so early in the morning. It occurred to me that you don't have my number yet. Think were ready to promote ourselves to texting? I know, it's a huge commitment.

_6:16 AM_

**Mikasa:**  I don't know, that's a tall order. Now you're asking for my number, next you'll be asking for my hand in marriage.

_6:17 AM_

They often playfully chatted like this. It was great to talk to someone who understood the language of sarcasm fluently. Eren and Armin took everything literal, Sasha gets dumbly offended, Connie was too dimwitted to understand, or the jokes would fly over his head and he'd laugh ten minutes later, and Jean's sarcasm was a bit too bitter even for her taste.

"You have a really weird look on your face." Eren pointed out. A beat later he yelled into the phone, "She's fine, go eat your hay."

"I do?" she touched her cheek, as if she would feel the difference.

"Yup. Talking to Levi about your date today?" And then again, he directed his mouth into the phone. "Yeah, Mikasa's meeting Levi today—no he's not a serial killer, why does everyone assume that right off the bat?"

She absently shook her head and wrote out her message.

 **Mikasa:**  I've been meaning to give you my number too.

_6:20 AM_

In unison they both exchanged numbers in their next messages, almost in sync. She clicked the string of numbers, intending to add it to her contacts, but the number earned a second glance, her eyes squinting on the digits.

"Wait..." Mikasa dashed off to her room, peeled a piece of paper off her dresser, compared it between her phone to make sure her suspicions were correct, and then shouted out, "Oh my God,  _E_ _ren_."

She trampled out back into living room, drawing up behind Eren on the stool. "You're not going to believe this."

"What?" He hung up on Jean, more interested in what Mikasa had to say.

She gave herself a moment to double check, then shook her head dubiously even though she couldn't doubt a perfect match. She placed the slip of paper down on the counter, the one she found yesterday tucked under her windshield wiper. "Remember when I told you how someone scratched up the side of our car?"

"Yeah..." From the look on his face, Eren anticipated the point of bringing it up. "Did you get in touch with them?"

"You could say that." Mikasa concealed her laugh of irony in her hand, stunned by the coincidence, and Eren urged on with a few  _'_ _wha_ _aaa_ _t?_ _'s_  before she finally said: "Levi. Levi is the one who scratched up the car."

He sat back a bit, his eyebrows scrunching as he filtered her claim. "...You're kidding."

"Nope. The number that was on the windshield is the same as the one he just gave me. There's no way it  _isn't_  him," she returned her eyes to the paper; now that she knew it was Levi's handwriting she saw the note in an entirely new light.

"Shit. Small world. Are you going to tell him?"

She considered it a moment while she imputed his number into her contacts. "Later. Since we're meeting up today, I don't want to make it any more awkward than it's already going to be. If we warm up to each other later I might tell him."

"It's a good thing you didn't call him last night. Knowing you, you would've yelled at him and made him cry."

When she got home yesterday, she very nearly called the number. Between the manlet at the gym and work, that scratch on her car was the final breaking point. She intended on venting stress on the careless driver, but she got caught up with studying instead,  _luckily_.

Imagine if she actually called and yelled at Levi without knowing it was him? What an awful first impression that would be.

Instead of admitting her intentions, she lied through her teeth to Eren because someone had to pretend to be the adult around here. "As if. I would've handled the situation maturely regardless of whose doing it was. I'm not hot-tempered like you. I'm very prudent."

Slurping down the remaining milk in his bowl, Eren kept a skeptical eye cornered on her. "Don't know what that word means, but I doubt it. But you can keep calling yourself a  _prude_  all you want."

" _Prudent_ ," she snappishly corrected, "and it's the truth."

He banged down his bowl with a choir of clatter, his expression pensive despite the trail of milk running down his chin. "Mikasa, you once beat up half the football team because they played a mean prank on Armin. A level headed person, like you claim to be, wouldn't handle a situation like that."

Mikasa blew out a repudiating breath. "You're the one that sprayed silly-string all over their cars and pissed in their Gatorade keg. At least I didn't go  _that_  far."

Eren snorted nostalgically, losing his breath as he slapped a hand on the counter, his laughs amplifying. "Aw man. That was priceless. I got my ass kicked  _so hard_  when they found out it was me."

"Yeah, and then I had to beat them up  _again_  trying to protect you. My point is, my temper only comes with good reasoning."

Only when Eren and Armin are in trouble does she ever become physically violent, but she never personally had a problem with bullies in school and rarely ever had to defend herself. That's why yesterday came as an utter shock to her and probably hurt more than it should have because she lost her  _bullied virginity_.

She had never been picked on or directly name called. Growing up, kid's in the neighborhood knew better than to do that, but they were still stupid enough to tease Eren and Armin. Yesterday was the first time she was fed her own foul dose of bullying; she had never been directly targeted like that before. It's a horrible feeling that stuck with you. To be called names and to be tossed disgusting accusations—she doesn't know how Eren and Armin put up with it all those years. That incident at Stohess helped her discover some new found respect for them, that's for sure. They're a lot stronger than she thought.

Trying to waste some spare time, (and also to ease some of the jitters crawling closer with each minute that past) she decided to look through Levi's profile again to refresh her memory. It would be handy to have topics to bring up and common interests to talk about all at her convenient disposal. The last thing she wanted was their date to be awkward and silent. This will help her gain up a bit of confidence.

While scrolling through on the laptop and making mental notes, Eren leaned over, entering the frame of as he slurped down a can of Pepsi. How his stomach tolerated all that soda was beyond her. His stomach lining must be made of steel.

"Whatcha looking at?"

"His bio."

Eren zoomed in a little closer and examined the section with her for a while. When they first looked through, they were more interested in the juicy bits like his interest and hobbies (and his bible of dislikes) but now the two roommates discovered a previously over-looked fact.

"Five-six?" Eren said pointedly. "He's short."

Mikasa tighten the line of her lip and rolled her eyes to him. "You're five-seven, what does that make you?"

"Taller and superior," he rose off the stool to proudly to show off the extra inch in length he had.

At least he's not as short as that manlet from yesterday. Really, height is the last thing Mikasa gave a damn about and Levi could be _four_ -six for all she cared, but that pipsqueak and his foul attitude deserved to be picked on for his only immediately-noticeable flaw, otherwise she wouldn't have made it such a big deal.

" _Ew, stop thinking about him_ ," she whispered to herself. This was supposed to be a good day and thinking of that disrespectful little man might taint her mood and it wasn't worth the risk. Just as she clicked down her laptop with enough topics memorized, there was a knock at the door.

Eren ran into his room as if it were the police coming to arrest him. "Tell Armin I'm sleeping."

Good thing Mikasa was here to answer and didn't head out sooner or else Eren, being Armin's bestest friend and not a jerk at all, would ignore him and let the poor kid knock all morning with no answer. True friendship is a beautiful thing.

"Hey," Mikasa revealed the short blond standing behind the door, his fist in the air as if ready to knock again.

"Morning." Armin said quite chipperly, stepping in. "No need to go into the trouble of relaying Eren's message, I heard him through the door," he smirked, welcoming himself inside.

Mikasa shook her head as she moved aside to make room, trying to form the appropriate words. "He's been up all night playing video games with Jean."

"So the usual? I suppose that means he's hyped up on caffeine. He'll need that for today's class."

"Armin..." she started to break the news. "There's no way he's going to make it to class. You should just head off and save yourself the headache."

Armin cocked his head, as if he somehow heard a challenge in her words. "Name one instance where I couldn't talk Eren in or out of something."

Her mouth opened but no words were inspired. "Good point," she grabbed her jacket from the hook and hung her bag strap off the shoulder. "Convince him to clean his room while you're at it."

"I'm not a miracle worker, Mikasa. Convincing Eren to do  _anything_  is a very time-consuming and delicate process—" Armin eyed her, cutting his speech short as she wound her scarf around her neck. "Where are you heading off to so early? You don't have class until this afternoon. Did they call you in early for work?"

"Oh, no."

Right here, she felt strangely pressured. Armin was one of those people who read right through people without prior hints, like knowing a story without reading the book. There's just no hiding anything from him. Not that she  _wanted_  to, but she was afraid he'd point out her nerves or say some out-of-the-box thing that might make her dwell about something she never would have thought on her own. Armin is a logical creature by nature who doesn't compress his knowledge well with emotions, so sometimes he doesn't understand the notions behind lying to cheer people up or leaving things left unsaid for the better.

But on the other hand, Armin was her friend (and the only very honest friend whom she cherished) and even if he does decode her for his own version of Brain Games, it was just his way of saying  _'I love you'_. "I'm heading to the gym. I'm meeting a friend."

"Friend? I'm positive Sasha and Connie don't know what a gym is. Jean is probably pulling the same stunt as Eren right now and I'm here. Who could it be?" It was true they all had the same friends, but hearing them all simply cramped together like that made it sound kind of sad.

"Another friend," she muttered.

"So, Levi." Armin claimed dully, almost disappointed at how unchallenging the conclusion was.

She grabbed her keys from the table in the foyer. "I see Eren has been chatty."

"Oh, yes," he crossed his arms, nodding. "I heard all about your romantic unity with the sophisticated veteran writer, aka your soul mate whom you found all thanks to your Savior Eren, all in great detail. For once, Eren is quite passionate and proud of his accomplishments. Too bad he doesn't show that passion in his school work or in his own relationships."

"Tell me about it," she slid past him, trying to escape now that they dived deeper into the topic of Levi. She wanted to talk to him about him—just  _not now_. Armin is the type who thinks too deeply into everything and Mikasa might lose the will to meet Levi if she listened to him. "Anyway, I gotta run. Good luck with Eren," she gave him an encouraging rub on the arm.

"And good luck to you."

**~x~**

**[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=w1og4) **

Looking at her phone as she was, she repeated the same mistake as yesterday: she walked right into someone— _again_. This seemed to be a new tradition for her at Stohess Fitness. Hopefully this didn't mean yesterday's pattern would repeat, like she was stuck living the same day forever—she  _does not_  need to deal with that kind of Twilight Zone shit right now, she had a date to worry about, oh, and she should probably worry about the person she knocked into like a wrecking ball.

"Sor—oh,  _Reiner,_ " she had bumped right into the muscular blond she had met yesterday, the one whose boyfriend she mistook for Levi for a few seconds.

He was already soaked in sweat and looked run down, he must have came here at the crack of dawn for his work out. One of the many advantages of being a member of a 24/7 fitness club.

His face belatedly lit in recall. "Mikasa, right? We met yesterday."

"Yeah, sorry about bumping into you. I did the same thing to Bertholdt yesterday"

He let out a grainy laugh. "It's not often that people don't notice a tall pillar like him roadblocking the path. I'm sure he was flattered to be bumped into."

"Hi Mikasa, nice seeing you again." Speak of the devil, Bertholdt drew up behind on cue. She waved back. "Which machine are you starting off with today?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

She skimmed around the open space, looking at the equipment but also noting that the pipsqueak wasn't anywhere in sight—thank  _G_ _od_  (or Lucifer for dragging him back to Hell.) "I'm not sure yet. I'm heading to the locker room now, then I'm meeting a friend at the fruit bar."

"Cool, we'll walk you there," offered Reiner.

They walked down a narrow corridor, which almost resembled a school hallway with all the encouraging and uplifting quotes and posters hung about, but instead of classrooms there were fitness classes, the indoor windows revealing a yoga class, spin class, Jujitsu (which she was already well-trained in) and—

"Krav Maga?" she said in awe, pulling to a stop by the window. She felt like a kid staring into a toy shop window around Christmas; if she wasn't too careful, her nose might end up squashing up against the glass like a dog that saw their master's pull in the driveway.

"Yeah..." Reiner said but kept walking. "The locker rooms are this way." She already knew, but decided to remove her eyes from the class and kept up with Reiner's and Bertholdt's sudden haste. For some reason, they were walking  _a lot_ faster than they did before.

"We should hit the showers."

Bertholdt blushed. "Reiner, don't say things like that in front of a woman."

"Are you implying I meant together?" he snickered.

The tall man accumulated even more sweat by his phrasing. "I-I'm skipping today."

"You're lucky Levi isn't around to hear you say that. You know how pissed he gets when you sweat all over the place."

"Levi?" Mikasa repeated the name that highlighted the sentence. She didn't expect his name to casually come up.

"Yeah, you know him? Well, I suppose everyone that joins this gym knows about him whether they want to or not eventually. The guy is insane, never saw someone as disciplined as him. He puts my routine to shame, and he could probably do Bert's routine in his sleep."

It was interesting to hear about Levi from a third party. So far it felt as if they created their own private world together, but the truth was he's actually a living, breathing person. It's a simple fact and she shouldn't be shocked to learn he was real, but it still felt unbelievable to her. Probably because Levi himself felt like an unbelievable man, far too good to be true.

"Yo," a female voice spoke from behind, but Mikasa ignored it, knowing it couldn't be directed to her, but the two men accompanying her jolted like a cold wind brushed up against their spine. They stopped short, spinning around slowly.

"Oh shit, it's  _her_ ,"said Reiner with evident fear.

Mikasa had to see for herself what spooked these men and followed their petrified gazes, expecting to see a virtual dungeon monster from one of Eren's video games at the end of the corridor—but instead of a terrifying troll blocking the way, there was a petite girl tucking a loose strain of blonde hair behind her ear.

The Krav Maga class she exited from appeared to dismiss and a swarm of students piled out, abstracting their view from her for the moment until they all cleared away. The woman, now clear in sight again, narrowed her eyes then slid them over to Reiner and Bertholdt, as if suddenly detecting them with animalistic scent.

"Shit. She's going to  _kill us_  for skipping out on her class today," Reiner said and nudged Bertholdt, then they ran off, heading for the emergency exit on the other side of the hall.

"Uh. Guys...?" Mikasa must've missed the memo about a random fire drill.

"Sorry Mikasa! We'll catch up later!" Bertholdt shouted back.

"Hey," the girl they ran from suddenly appeared behind Mikasa—she lurched back around like her voice was a creeping spider crawling up her back. If two grown men ran from her, then what can she expect to happen while being alone with her?

"Where did those two idiots go?" she rotated her neck around, her dull expression as solid and cold as a crystal. She slanted over Mikasa's shoulder, looking at the men who were no longer there.

"Reiner and Bertholdt? They dashed off saying something about skipping class."

"...I see. Cowards," she subtly shook her head, then inspected Mikasa head to toe. "You look new around here. I'm Annie, the Krav Maga instructor," she said boredly, as if introducing herself was the most troubling part of her day.

"Nice to meet you—I'm Mikasa. I'm interested in enrolling in your class."

"Is that so." Annie eyed her again. Mikasa thought  _she_  never cracked a smile, but this girl looked as happy as a funeral attendant. "Here's a warning, Mikasa. No one had ever stuck with the class until the end. Most quit. The only one who graduated was Levi, but I'm sure you knew that already."

There it was again. Levi kept coming up. He sure established a name around here.

"I'm sure I can handle it. I studied martial arts since I was a child."

"Hm. Not bad," she nodded her head, as if approving. "I look forward to fighting you. Come see me again when you're ready to sign up."

Annie had followed her into the locker room, but they soon branched into different routes: Annie headed for the showers and Mikasa approached the lined up lockers. She unwrapped the strap from her shoulder and placed her duffel bag on the bench. She peeled off her winter jacket and stuffed it into the locker, then pulled out the gray hoodie she typically wore when she worked out.

Her and Levi established this meeting under the impression of being work-out partners, so she figured after a chat in the fruit bar, they would work out together. After hearing Reiner praise his strength and Annie say he was the sole graduate of her class, she was excited to see what kind of show he would put on. With the reputation he seemed to have, she might end up learning a lot from him.

"You only started cardio because  _he_  did."

"Did not! I just think it's time I switched up my routine, it has nothing to do with him. I just figure he knows what he's doing, so it's smart to follow his lead."

Mikasa unwillingly listened in on the girls' exchanges coming from the next aisle of lockers as she finished dressing.

"Uh-huh. And you just happen to collect  _all_  his writing publications too. Guess you're going to tell me that's only for reading preference?"

"It is! Levi's a great writer and I happen to enjoy his articles!"

... _Again?_

Can Mikasa walk two steps in this gym without Levi being mentioned? Now she felt even  _more_  out of his league. All this time she felt like he was this unbelievable guy online that couldn't possibly exist in the real word, but hearing him not only mentioned, but praised left and right made her stomach sink. She couldn't believe she was going to  _met_  this guy...

"Stop lying to yourself, Petra, you're obviously trying to prove something to him."

"I look up to him as a mentor, that's all," the girl said dismissively.

Mikasa couldn't take the curiosity anymore. She relocated over to the mirror to fix her hair, but really she was viewing the chatting girls behind her in the refection. The denying one was a blushing red-head trying to convince her friend that all she held was pure respect for Levi and nothing more. Even Mikasa sensed it was bullshit.

Mikasa returned her eyes to herself in the mirror, then back to the Petra-girl as if comparing. The girl wore a skin tight white tank top with yellow short-shorts. Eyes back to herself, she wore a loose hoodie and Eren's old basketball shorts. Mikasa bitterly decided that this Petra girl was cuter than her, but then again Mikasa never saw herself as  _cute_ ; she just didn't have the personality for it. The girl behind her was petite with delicate features and bright eyes, where Mikasa rarely wore a smile or wore much make up to highlight her features, so her eyes looked rather dull most of the time, unlike the gold ones with fluttering long lashes behind her.

If this girl  _does_  like Levi like her friend was hinting at...then she would probably have a greater chance with him than her. This girl likely knew Levi already, well enough to know his routine and she even read all his writing—Mikasa never had, though wanted to, but Levi never gave her the opportunity yet.

With the way Levi's name kept popping up, she couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious now and not as confident as she was when she first left the house with expectations of a perfect day.

He's probably expecting a cute, energetic and peppy girl like Petra with a cute fashion sense and a giggling and smiling demeanor. Mikasa hoped that she doesn't disappoint him too much. All this time she figured Levi was like herself, someone who didn't care for appearance since he ended up talking to her even with an absent profile picture...but what if he  _does_  have a type and she doesn't match it at all?

Worse case scenario, if she really wasn't his type, she'd still like to be friend's with him. If it comes down to it, she'll even settle for a workout buddy. They share a lot in common and currently Mikasa had no friend's with so many shared interests. That's probably the most enjoyable thing about Levi; she could actually talk about topics that interest her without losing the attention of the listener. She usually kept most of her opinions and feelings to herself. Over the years, she figured no one cared about what she had to say so she should save her breath, but she could really talk to him. She shared so much with Levi because he just _gets it._  He understood the way she thought, he understood her sarcasm and jokes no matter how dry it may be, he understood and respected the things she liked, but at the same time he wasn't just uptight or trying to be polite. Levi and her were just in sync with each other. She  _never_  experienced that before.

Trying to dispose of the new doubts and self-esteem issues that piled up, she sipped out of the locker room and took out her phone as she walked, being sure to peel her eyes up now and again to not run into anyone else.

Embarking on, she returned her phone to the pouch of her hoodie.

Just like Levi said, the bar was rather full. The shop was bright and in desperate need of a colorful paint job—everything was just  _so_   _white._ The clear glass counters housing every variation of fruit did add a needed splash of color; maybe that décor wasn't lazy, maybe they intentionally wanted the fruit to stand out. Behind the counter and along the walls were smoothie machines mixing and a long, handwritten menu hoisted up above—Mikasa didn't even know you could create  _that many_ dishes with fruit. They shouldn't call this a fruit bar, the should call it a fruit  _cuisine_.

She knew she couldn't pretend to let fruit distract her forever—as nervous as she was, she had to keep pushing forward. She excused herself through the long queue to get to the other side of the narrow shop.  _The last table by the window_ , she played back the message Levi sent her to refresh her memory. "Last booth to the right by the window..." she mouthed.

At first glance the booth looked empty, but figured Levi must've been sitting on the other side, and as she kept walking her visual angle changed and surely enough she saw the very tip of dark hair peeking over the backrest.

Her heart fluttered from nervous anticipation and the typical thoughts everyone had rushed through her head in the final remaining steps:  _What if I say something stupid or make a stupid face? What if I offend him_ _by_ _accident? What if he doesn't like me?_

But she injected herself with a forced dose of confidence by thinking: _What if we have a great time and it's love at first sight?_

"Levi?" she stepped up and craned out her neck before her legs could catch up. She was just so eager to see him. All that wondering and curiosity was finally going to be quenched. She's finally going to see Levi: the man she had dearly enjoyed talking to, the man that  _got her_ , the man who made her laugh hard for the first time in ages, the man she had already accidentally fell for.

"Mika—?" he started to say once she approached, but the sound ran out.

". . . . . ."

All the blood drain from her face. "Wait..."

Both of their faces lit in sudden recall.

"Aren't you—"

". . . . . !" Mikasa gasped so hard her lungs nearly popped.

Those  _familiar_  piercing blue eyes, flaring like two propane flames, had widened on her.

"...You gotta be  _shitting_ me."

And her protruding eyes had narrowed crushingly in exchange. The rage she had yesterday revisited her like the sting of an infected wound from the bite  _he_  inflicted. Her face was no longer pale white, it burned red hot—and it wasn't the blushing sensation she prepared to feel today.

"You're—" her voice started in a distraught whisper, but that quickly changed when she boosted up the volume and intensity of her voice, she leaned in to slam a palm down on the table. This wasn't the man she accidentally fell for, this man was—"You're that  _damn manlet_  from yesterday!"

He just kept staring at her, his bottom lip hitting the table. She shook her head wildly, not believing for a second what her eyes were showing her. She didn't know when she started, but at one point she began to pace within the span of three white tiles, back and forth in little steps in front of the booth. "I-I can't believe this. Is Levi and the manlet really one in the same?" she thought out loud to herself and stopped short to hold up her weight on the lip of the table, if she hadn't, surely she would've collapsed. Her mind was already fucking spinning at the problem in front of her, spinning in little circles did not help.

"Can you remove that word from your vocabulary?" Levi finally spoke, looking at her like she was a crazed lunatic that just busted out of asylum. No,  _Levi_  didn't say that, it was the manlet. She  _won_ _'_ _t_  accept this.  _No_. this imposture couldn't be Levi. Sure, the guy she spoke to online wasn't the most pleasant man in the world and he was about as cheerful as a Ville Valo song—she expected him to be pessimistic person—but she didn't expect this rotten man to be Levi. This isn't right. Levi was suppose to be a respected and intelligent veteran and writer who graduated from Krav Maga and was envied by his gym peers—this little disrespectful man sitting below her can't fit into those molds. No way. Not this rude, perverted, miserable little man who bullied girls. There must be a mix up. She looked round, looking for the _real_ Levi, hoping he would pop up and wave to her and say ' _You got the wrong booth, get away from that weirdo and come here!_ _'_  She hoped that she picked the wrong booth, but her eyes kept falling back to _him,_  sitting in the last booth to the right by the window.

She held her head. For the first time in years she thought she would cry, and even though she might've eventually felt comfortable crying in front of online Levi, she wouldn't dare show that kind of weakness around  _him: Manlet Levi._

"So...should I... Should I just...leave?" Mikasa asked out loud, her words not necessary directed to him, but she didn't need to hear an answer, she already had her mind set up. She jinxed it all: she ended up stepping into a scene right out of the fucking Twilight Zone after all and she needed to escape before she was stuck here forever, or before Levi sucked out her soul like the devil spawn he was.

"I'm just gonna leave," she announced dryly and swung herself around and managed to clear a few steps with her rickety legs.

But the low and painfully reluctant voice caused her legs to halt, " _Wait._ "

Mikasa bit her lip, closing her eyes so tight the bright white shop couldn't be seen through her lids. She stood there a while, then spun back around and returned, fiercely landing her cold steel eyes on Levi, or the imposture, sitting there with his eyes closed, cringing as he rubbed his temples. She hated doing as he said, but she wanted to know what he  _possibly_  had to say.

"What? Want to insult me again? You did that enough yesterday."

"What? No, calm down—you're too defensive."

Silly her, she forgot to roll out the red carpet for him and treat him with only the best hospitality after the way he treated her. How could she ever atone?

"Screw you. Like I care about what you think, chibi." Nothing he thought about her was correct. He passed her off as a brainless slut yesterday. Why would she take his advice about her defensiveness?

"Chi—? Never mind. It's not what I think, that's just how you are. If you would just—"

"And you're a split-personality psycho," she cut him off. How does he know who she was? Sure, online Levi had her figured out well enough and knew a great deal about her, but this pathetic man didn't have the faintest clue—how is that even possible? Does he really have two persona's trapped in the same body? Or maybe an evil twin brother? Or maybe he kidnapped the real Levi and was now stealing his identity? Any of those scenarios seemed more likely than him, this rotten man, actually being her Levi.

"My God, why am I even wasting more time talking to you?" He ate up enough of her time yesterday. But she supposed she didn't really have a tight schedule today; she had the next few hours free for Levi and her to hang out. Damn it all—she's supposed to be sitting there with him having intelligent and subtly flirty conversations right now, not repeating the same argument from yesterday. This was a just cruel joke. And to think she believed she actually found someone normal, someone she clicked with, someone she thought would be a special person to her someday. She thought meeting Levi was the best thing that happened to her, but seeing that asshole now she realized it was the worse mistake of her life.

"That's your problem, you keep talking when you should be listening."

"Don't you patronize me, runt."

"Typical," he folded his arms, leaning back into the press of the cushion. "Go ahead and keep insulting me. After all, it makes so much sense to add fuel to a fire rather than extinguish it."

Mikasa's lips gaped, dumbfounded. "You're the  _arson_  responsible for the fire to begin with—you  _started_  all this!" He's the one who won't listen, actually. If he would listen to  _himself_  he would realize how rude and wrong he was and how he was the one who actually left her with burn scars.

He winced at her shout with a scowl. "This won't go anywhere. You're just going to continue insulting me and leave again, anyway. Might as well get a head start."

Now she didn't want to leave because he was telling her to leave. She's not going to come and go as he demanded like his own personal puppet. She wanted to prove that he didn't have her figured out like he believed. He was right, though. This won't go anywhere. There's no where for this to go even if she tried to relocate the problem. "You think you have me all figured out, don't you?"

"I thought I did. You fooled me," he huffed, shaking his head in disappointment. Aw, poor man-baby is sad.

"I fooled you?" She stifled a laugh. "Word of advice, try to keep your online personality in check with your real one."

"Maybe you should practice what you preach."

"Maybe you should go back to hell where you belong."

Levi was just shaking his head, over and over and the motion made her sick. He couldn't even look at her anymore and since he wasn't adding in another retort to counteract, she had no reason to stay.

**~x~**

This was all wrong and wasn't supposed to happen. No way in hell did that just happen. This must be a really horrible dream. She thought about that shorty a lot last night and all the awful things he said, maybe this was a nightmare and her alarm would ring off and she would meet the real Levi.

But...no alarm ever woke her. This was the reality that she had to accept. Not in any mood to exercise (or remain in that gym), she packed up her things and drifted down the street in a briskly rage. Surprisingly enough, her mind was blank, mainly because she couldn't even begin to process what the hell just happened back there.

Before she knew it she was leaning against the brick wall outside her work, three hours early for her shift and that's when it finally hit her:  _the realization_. Levi, the perfect man that she not only shared so much in common with and enjoyed talking to, was the same man who had talked to her more harshly than anyone had before.

Feeling a chill, either from the icy wind slipping through the crevices of skyscrapers or the realization itself, she pulled open the door with almost enough force to rip it from the hinge and found warm salvation inside.

"Good, you're here early. Now we could tell the customers the coffee machines aren't out of order anymore," said Ymir, who was sat on top of the serving counter with Christa standing snugly between her lap.

For the moment, the idea of Levi and the manlet vanished from Mikasa's mind to make room to process what was said to her. "...Do you honestly say the machines are broken just so you don't have to do any work when I'm not around? How can you run a business like that?"

"Don't tell me how to do my job."

"But that's the problem, you  _don't_  do your job."

Ymir gave an intrigued snicker. "You're more feisty than usual."

"I'm having a bad day. I'm just going to hang out here until my shift starts if that's alright with you."

"Fine with me," Ymir shrugged, "but being here ain't gonna make you perkier, trust me."

It was then that she noticed Reiner and Bertholdt there, sitting in a cozy corner with two coffee's on their table.

"So this is where you guys ran off to. Annie's looking for you," she wanted to talk to Levi about her encounter with Annie because she was excited about the class, but instead of Levi giving her tips based from his experience, she was here at work, the most miserable place to be, pissed and wanting to hit something but she wouldn't dare go back to that gym to eliminate her stress. She'll never return to that gym again.

"You're not going to tell her where we are...right?" Reiner dragged out, looking nervous.

Mikasa shook her head. Reiner made a face at her, a soft one she didn't see from him yet and he pulled out the third chair at their table, patting the seat. Feeling as lightheaded as she did, it was probably best to sit down so she did.

Ymir drew all attention to herself by pinching her nose while waving an invisible smell away. "They've been here stinking up the place for a while. Can't you smell all the sweat and bacon?"

"Wait, which one of us smells like bacon?" Reiner asked with genuine concern.

"Well, sweaty over there sure as hell doesn't."

"I don't even  _eat_  bacon," Reiner insisted.

Ymir pushed up her nose, exposing her nostrils like a pig's snout as she made an oinking noise.

"That's not very nice, Ymir..." Christa glumly said. "Reiner is our friend and you shouldn't bully him."

"And our friend happens to look like Mrs. Piggy," laughing, Ymir cracked her thigh like a whip when she had realized what she said. "Does this mean Bert is Kermit?"

"Ymir!" her girlfriend called.

"He  _is_  slimy like a frog so...and his legs are  _really_  long..."she answered herself with a thoughtful expression, tapping her chin skyward. "I think I'd be Animal if I were a Muppet. What Muppet would you be, Christa?"

"Eh? Oh, um... Maybe that guitar player?" she said, referring to Janice.

"What about you Mikasa? What Muppet would you be?"

"Not in the mood," she cradled her aching forehead.

"You'd be that guy that lived in the dumpster, the Grouch?"

"That's Sesame Street," Bertholdt corrected quietly, tucking his hands between his thighs.

"You would know, Big Bertie," she snorted. "I'm calling him Bertie from now on."

Ymir had a special talent to make nothing into something pointless. She'd rather talk about puppets than lend a hand or do her job. At least the idiotic talk helped distract Mikasa, until she tried to think of what Muppet Levi would be. He'd probably be that French prawn that had awful luck with girls and get's angry when people call him a shrimp.

Now that Ymir's mouth was busy with Christa, the talk of Muppet's and bacon and whatever ridiculousness died down. Mikasa soon realized that she was just rudely sitting here, not saying or word or contributing to Bertholdt's and Reiner's current chat, but she couldn't really find the will to care.

"These Peppermint Mocha's are really awesome, right Bert?"

He nodded. "Let us buy you one," Bertholdt looked over to Mikasa with a crooked smirk. They could see something was wrong, probably. Mikasa tried to keep emotion from showing, but her blank canvas was probably covered with paint splats of Raging Red, Melancholy Maroon, Lonely Lavender and Embarrassed Ebony.

"Thanks," she accepted the offer, mainly because she didn't have the strength to refuse for the sake of being polite.

"Ymir, another Peppermint Mocha."

"Oh  _come on_ ," Ymir pulled out her tongue from Christa's mouth and hopped down from the counter. "I made an exception for you two, but if you expect me to make coffee for every Bert, Ernie and Mikasa that come in here you're sadly mistaken."

That's kind of the entire point of being a barista.

"Now we're Bert and Ernie?" said Reiner, but before she could quip back, a woman approach the counter as Ymir prepared the mocha.

"Does that mean the machines are repaired? My break is up in ten minutes and my boss needs his coffee fix before his meeting," a woman in a business dress explained.

Ymir spun and snapped, "No! Go to Dunkin' Donuts already, lady! They're hipster free and make awesome munchkins to fill up the fat boss you're trying to impress!"

Since coming in here, the zany crew had distracted Mikasa on and off, but the word munchkin reminded her of Levi and that made her strangely sad.

The woman gasped and looked unsure what to do with her under-worked, lotion-soaked hands, so she rolled them in little quivering balls. "I'll have a word with your supervisor!"

"Good luck, lady. He gives a lesser shit than me!" she said as the woman departed in a fury.

Now that scene was completely unnecessary and didn't help the headache Mikasa had acquired at all.

Ymir was right, though. The big boss man, Flitz, or better know as the Starbucks King, didn't care much and looked half asleep when he would stop by to check in. You'd think someone who ran a Starbucks would take advantage of all the caffeine—but the man always looked half-dead. Ymir and Mikasa made a twenty-buck bet when she first started working here: Either Flitz had Alzheimer's and needed to go into the nursing home, or he was an old hippie stoner. Mikasa bet on the latter and she's pretty sure she won, otherwise that guy wouldn't ever have his establishment running the way it was. No one could be that laid back without being stoned, she knew this because Eren, Connie and Sasha were perfect examples of this.

"Did something happen with that friend you were going to meet?" Reiner tried to return to civilized conversation.

"...Yeah." Since she wasn't in the company of close friends like Eren, Sasha or Armin, she didn't feel right about blabbing about her problems to people she barely knew, but once Ymir tossed the mocha in front of her and she gulped down the coffee, her mouth opened and didn't close until her new friend's knew the entirety of her recent life story. Caffeine was the conversational drug, after all.

"Man, talk about a shitty coincidence. What are the odds of something like that happening? Small, I bet." Reiner commented.

"Tell me about it. The thing is, I really love his online personality. We got along so well...but in person?"

"He's kinda rude, yes." Bertholdt finally voiced his thoughts, he's been sitting quietly all the while, just listening. "But that's just how Levi is. He's kind of known for that. But believe it or not he's a nice guy, just not in the traditional sense. He has an odd way of showing kindness...It's...It's really hard to place him into a category."

"I realize he must have a nice side to him, or else we wouldn't have gotten along so well online, but the things he said to me was  _unforgivable_."

"Yeah," Reiner folded his arms, agreeing with a nod. "He did take it too far, but if you liked him online, then maybe the two of you just need to talk it out and find a comfortable middle?"

"With  _h_ _im_?" Mistaking the suggestion for a joke, she almost laughed. She appreciated him trying to help, but only possible solutions would be considered. So far only one option was available: avoid the manlet like the plague. Besides, there's nothing comfortable about being in the middle of two persona's, it's like being interrogated by a good cop and a bad cop for all eternity.

"Impossible. He's so stubborn and obnoxious. And I  _did_  give him the opportunity to explain himself—I was going to walk out the second I saw him but I stuck around when he told me to wait."

"Doesn't that mean he  _does_  want to talk to you about this?" Bertholdt wondered. "Maybe the words just didn't come out right or the timing was wrong."

"How can a writer have a problem with saying the right thing? You'd think he would have an advantage over others and not say the wrong thing  _over and o_ _v_ _er_  again."

Bert smiled a little, knowingly. "Just like you said, Levi is charismatic and kind through text, but he's completely opposite in person."

"I see where you're going with this." Reiner eyed him, then switched his gaze to Mikasa. "The guy talks like an unmannerly thug in person, but in his written work he carefully crafts his words and sounds like a proper professional. Maybe he's one of those people who needs time to think before he speaks."

Could be—if he thought before he spoke they probably wouldn't be having these issues. He just blurs out anything without consideration or sympathy for others. "So...you're saying he  _really does_  have two personalities?"

"Not exactly, he's just...more honest in his writing."

"He sounded pretty honest when he was calling me a bimbo who fucks the whole fraternity house."

"Nah, I mean he's  _true_  to himself in his writing. He probably didn't truly think that about you. He was probably just mad; the guy might look small but he's like a stick of dynamite when something sparks him—which is often and easily—he just blows up."

"In other words, his _r_ _e_ _al_  personality comes out in his writing," Bertholdt added. "I think he's just too shy and doesn't know how to express himself vocally."

So in essence, he's an asshole because he's trying to hide the fact that he's shy? Mikasa considered herself to be a private person of not many emotions too, but that doesn't stop her from being a refined human being. Even if she could accept that as a fact, how was she supposed to merge the Levi she knows and the Levi she fought with yesterday? That seemed too complicated.

She didn't think she had the patience to deal with a whack job like that. She already had enough of important weirdo's in her life to worry about. She didn't even know why she was thinking of it, even if she figured Levi out, there was still a very clear fact that remained: "I know you guys  _think_  there's a chance he wants to solve all this, but I highly doubt he wants to try to make up. Judging by yesterday, he hates me with a burning passion. And even  _if_  he did want to talk about it...I really don't want to patch up this mess."

They sat in silence for a while. During the break, Mikasa noted Ymir and Christa making out on the other side of the counter as a fed up customer tapped their heel.

"To make you feel better," Reiner started after some thought, "we'll hook you up with a blind date. We have cute friends in need of a cute girlfriend."

"Please, no more blind dates. I appreciate the offer but—"

"I understand. But if there's anything else we can do just let us know. We're here for you."

"...Thanks." It was refreshing to hear support from someone outside her comfortable circle of friend's. Even though she barely knew them, she appreciated their friendliness and support. At least she gained new friend's out of all this mess.

Just then, the door rammed into the bell, hard enough to leave it rattling like a broken church bell. The girl gave a bored scan around the room until her eyes landed on Bertholdt and Reiner. "I thought I'd find you slackers here."

The two men quailed like little girls seeing a monster creeping from their closet.

"Get back to Stohess. We have work to do," Annie demanded in a strangely calm voice; but despite the one-tone, she had this deadly air traveling through every syllable.

"We can't. Annie, please listen," Reiner croaked pleadingly, as if Annie had a gun to his head. "Bert...Bert ripped his..." he thought, then struck gold, "muscle tendon! Didn't you?"

"Oh yeah." Bertholdt was a horrible liar. "My muscles are all shredded up."

"Nothing a little Icy-Hot can't fix. And what's your excuse?" she eyed Reiner pointedly. "You packed on some fat. Hustle back before I rip you a new one for Bertholdt to play with."

" _A-_ _A_ _nnie_." Bertholdt invoked pleadingly but when she headed toward them violently like a wild panther, they scuffled up from their chairs and did as told to avoid her wrath. As they loped over to the door, Bertholdt apologized profusely and Reiner was being kindly escorted by Annie with a tug of the ear.

Levi wasn't kidding, the Krav Maga instructor was tough—and then she remembered, again, that Levi is no longer that great guy she chatted with online. Over and over that realization kept hitting her. It was hell to relive the torture of that bitter truth; or maybe it was more like purgatory; trapped around the same torture and truths that haunted you in life.

Even after her shift started she couldn't take her mind off it. She would have the sweet recollection of online Levi, then have the bitter after taste of manlet Levi. Since she previously saw the manlet and Levi as two different people, naturally she didn't adjust to the idea of them being the same entity yet and kept slipping up.

At one point she had forgot again and as she worked she started thinking up some topics to discuss with Levi tonight, and she even went as far as planning to tell Levi about her unfortunate encounter with meeting the manlet, (and if that doesn't paint a mindfuck of a picture then she doesn't know what does).

But this was the end, their fun talks wouldn't occur anymore. It was over.

"Hey, Christa and I want to take our break together, think you can hold the fort by yourself?"

"I always do." Mikasa said to Ymir as she whirled around the counter with a handful of abandoned named cups.

"That's the spirit," she patted her shoulder as she sidled pass, grabbing her girlfriend before departing.

Since Mikasa arrived to work so early, her shift felt twice as long. There's only so much time a person can spend in a Starbucks before they lose their mind, and being in the unstable state of mind she was in, it was just adding fuel to the fire. Maybe he was right, maybe she does have a bad habit of doing that—but then she unwillingly made a dirty expression to an innocent customer when she realized she had just called him  _right_. No,  _she's_  right, he's the one in the wrong. She's not the one at fault here and therefore she won't allow that manipulating bastard to skew her thinking.

When the lunch hour died down she managed a breather. The shop has been empty for a while and after cleaning up she had nothing left to do. For once, she slacked off.

Ymir and Christa were taking their sweet time returning back to work, as usual. Even though they were annoying as co-workers, she almost felt envious of their relationship. They're so close and Mikasa found herself wishing she had someone like that—and the worse part was she felt like she came close to having a special person like that. She had a good amount of friend's, sure, but friend's can never take the place of a romantic partner and she honestly wanted that element in her life. Just a big dumb hopeless romantic, she was—or maybe she just wanted a change. Things have been the same for a long, long time. But when Levi entered her life, for the first time it felt like a new and exciting door opened for her, but now it felt like it was locked up before she could even enter.

The bell chimed in the doorway and she prepared herself to recite the dull greeting stored in her throat to a customer, unless it was Ymir and Christa piling in after their two-hour break—but it was neither a customer or her co-workers returning and sudden pain panged her core.

With her mind feeling fuzzy as it was, she initially mistook him as a lost child, but soon realized it was that manlet, no,  _Levi_ —it was hard to tell which persona he was right now, his face was emotionless. She blinked, curling her hand against her chest as she reflexively stepped back, but she couldn't escape anywhere, she was the only one here and she was forced to hold base at the register—she was  _cornered_.

"Leave," she uttered when he approached the counter, she fiddled with the tip jar and fliers on the surface, creating the illusion that she was busy.

"That's no way to talk to a customer," he said with a drip of humor, but she wanted to punch him in the mouth for even speaking to her.

"You're not a customer because I'm not serving you.  _Leave,_ " she refused to look at him, but with her head being down and him being as short as he was, she still saw him clearly. To truly avoid him she would have to tip her gaze  _up_ , but that would probably look strange.

"Listen, I'm mad at you too, but don't you want to talk about this?"

Her head lashed up, her lips parted in astounding disbelief because he actually  _did_  want to talk? Maybe Reiner and Bertholdt were right, maybe...No. She can't give in that easy. His way of  _talking_  probably consisted of more name calling. She can't talk to a man like that and expect a good outcome.

She studied him for a moment, seeing him for the first time because he shut up long enough for her to think and check him out (not in t _hat_  way). She gazed into his sleep-deprived eyes, the eyes that had read her messages all those nights, the eyes that also saw her as someone she wasn't.

"You told me everything I needed to know yesterday. I know what kind of person you are and you have your mind made up about me, however wrong your assumptions may be."

His thin brows drew together, but before he allowed himself to scowl, he sighed and relaxed his tense shoulders. Taming his anger looked physically damaging to his soul (if he even had one). "You know, you weren't very nice to me either but I'm willing to look past it for the moment to figure out this shit situation."

Did he really just waltz in here to 'figure this out'? There's nothing to figure out. He's a dick, and apparently she's a dumb easy bimbo in his eyes. All chances of savaging any traces of hope was gone before it came.

 _It's over before it can even get started,_ the Aquarius/Capricorn match compatibility Eren looked up echoed in her mind and it couldn't be more accurate. She's not the superstitious type, but the next time she read a fortune cookie or saw her horoscope in the paper, she's going to take it for the truth.

"I guess that makes you the bigger man, ironically so, because I don't have any desire to figure this out. I just want you to leave."

And he did without another word. For a second, Mikasa thought he would put up more of a fight, given how stubbornly annoying he is when his mind is set to something. She almost regretted telling him to leave a third time—and then she realized her only regret was not pouring hot coffee in his face.

She diddled with her hands as she watched the door he disappeared from slowly close, and when the door opened again she thought it was him coming back—but it was just some smelly hobo. Or a hipster. It was really hard to tell the difference.

"Yes, hi, can I get a—"

"The coffee machines are broken," Mikasa snapped, throwing a loose cup before stomping away.

When Ymir and Christa found her, she was sitting on the sticky, coffee-soaked floor, back pressed against the counter with a handful of cake in her lap as she dazed up at the menu, wondering how so many combinations can come from a single bean and wondering why so many things went wrong and wondering what the real meaning behind Levi coming in here meant.

Ymir bent down with a single clap to wake Mikasa from her reverie. "You know, there's like twenty people on line."

Mikasa picked a chocolate chunk from her cake and popped it in her mouth. "I don't care."

"Yeah, me neither." Ymir sat down beside her with a gravely huff, then picked a chip off for herself. Christa hovered over them with worried eyes, her hands rubbing together.

"You okay?" Ymir nudged her, knowing she wasn't.

She continued to pick apart her cake, crumbing it with disinterest because she had no desire to eat. Depression hadn't made her lose her appetite; it just had something to do with the fact she ate five portions in a row. She skipped her workout  _and_  she fattened up on more cake than she normal ate in a few months time—as if she wasn't feeling shitty enough already.

"Boy troubles?" Christa asked.

"Yeah."

"That's why being a lesbian is awesome." Ymir insisted. "You never have boy problems."

Mikasa flopped her head back on the hard cabinet. "I'm afraid I can't choose to be a lesbian, I think I would if I could. I hate men."

"Amen to that, but you know, boys are stupid,  _stupid_  creatures. Us females are the superior sex, so sometimes you have to put your foot down and speak your mind and tell them what you're thinking or else they'll walk all over you like an untrained pup."

"Speaking my mind is what got me in this mess to begin with."

"Oh," Ymir scratched her head, stumped. She looked up to her girlfriend. "I'm bad at this. Do you have any words of wisdom to share?"

The petite girl crouched down on the soles of her feet cautiously, as if Mikasa was a wild animal she didn't want to scare off. "Did you have a fight with this boy?"

She nodded, still picking apart the cake until all the pieces of chocolate baked inside were off and devoured.

"You know, Ymir and I fight all the time," she smiled over to her girlfriend. "She thinks I don't take charge enough or live for myself, that I'm always putting everyone before me. Even though we don't always agree, I still love her—but even though you had a fight with this boy, do you still like him?"

Mikasa looked up, blinded by the spotlights overhead. "It's hard to say. I  _feel_  like I like a part of him, but I'm repulsed by another side of him."

Christa taut her lips to the side, troubled by the confusing situation, but despite Mikasa not giving her much to work with she didn't give up. "That's something you have to think about, then. If he's worth it, you'll accept his flaws. But if he's not worth the trouble, then he's not worse moping about either. You just have to figure out which side of him is more important; can the good outweigh the bad, or will the bad drown all the good away? That's something only you could figure out."

"My baby girl is so smart!" Ymir, wearing a proud grin, wrapped an arm round her neck and reeled her into her lap. The girl stumbled but soon secured a comfortable position.

"Thanks, guys. At the moment I'm leaning more toward forgetting the whole mess, but you gave me something to think about. It helped."

"I'm glad." Christa smiled and Ymir kissed her on he cheek to reward her good efforts.

"Hey! Are we gonna be served any time today?" A balding man hung his long neck over the counter, his tie swinging. "Chop-chop! Get off your asses and go do your job!"

With a husky growl, Ymir grabbed the deformed cake from Mikasa's fingers and threw the moist lump at his head, deflecting off his toupee, which looked like a dead animal on the floor when it fell off. "Can't you see we're having a moment? Respect the sacrament of girl time,  _ostrich_ _man!_ "

Mikasa stretched out a tiny smile. Even though she felt like she just lost her best friend, her new friends did help take her mind off this awful day, but at the end of the day it still wasn't enough to cure her because she knew a quiet, IMing-less and Levi-less night was ahead of her. There would be no written witty quips sent to her, no trivial topics to discuss about the world and its unexplained mysteries, like why is the Bermuda Triangle cursed and why are the Kardashian's so famous—and their favorite pastime of complaining about movies, books, life, people and customs and controversial things in general, would be no more.

She was really going to miss talking to him.

She had more than most and she should be grateful for her friend's and their support. But—she still felt lonely because the  _only person_  she actually wanted to complain to about Levi being a phony prick was Levi himself.


	6. 1,000 Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter! I was going to split it up into two, but I realized nothing happened in the first half and I try to make at least some story progression in every chapter so, voila, long-ass chapter!
> 
> AO3, I'll be adding in the mixed media later, I just can't find the will right now. OTL

In no mood to hear the lifeless drone of a lecture, Mikasa skipped class and headed straight home after narrowly surviving work. Turning the key to her apartment lock, Mikasa swung open the door and out poured the familiar ambiance of chatter coming from Eren and Armin, who hopefully  _both_ just came back from class.

"You're back early. Was class canceled?" Armin asked immediately before she was even fully through the threshold. As she worked on removing her shoes in the foyer, she briefly hooked her gaze up and spotted the two of them seated on the couch—and Eren had his sights fastened right on her.

"I bet she's feeling too  _love struck_  for class," Eren teased with a snicker. Armin, however, did not share his enthusiasm. In fact, the blond's face washed over with concern after getting a good look at Mikasa.

"How was your romantic blind date with Levi?" Eren persisted, not giving Mikasa much time to reply, not that she had formed anything coherent to say yet. "You're speechless because it went so perfect, huh? I told you the dating website was a brilliant idea. All thanks to me you found the love of your life—and  _you_   _say_  I'm not smart," he nudged his clever friend.

During the short trip up the stairwell, Mikasa actually stopped thinking about Levi. After enduring a long day of thoughts revolving around him, just for that one tiny blissful moment he didn't exist—but Eren had to go and make her relive those awful war-like flashbacks again.

The walls of the apartment quaked from how hard Mikasa slammed the door shut behind her. With her feet stomping, she zipped in a straight line that lead to her bedroom.

With an elevated brow, Eren's eyes followed her. "Are you going to tell me about it or what? How was the date?"

" _Don_ _'_ _t ask._ "

"Wait, what?" Bemused, Eren sprang up from the couch, scrambled to his feet and followed close behind her until she shut the door on his face.

With a tired sigh, Mikasa let the weight of her jacket leave her, letting it rumple to the floor for she had no strength to hang it up. No, she wasn't mad at Eren, even though all of this was  _his fault_  because of his genius plan to sign her up for that site from Hell. But really, she's mad at herself and most of all, she was mad at Levi.

Mikasa collapsed on her bed, resting her throbbing head on the pillow, and it was when Eren trampled in a second later that she remembered she didn't lock the door. Armin apprehensively shadowed close behind, peeking over Eren's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Eren asked with a voice that didn't break the sound barrier for once—that must mean he's seriously worried.

Shaking her head with closed eyes, Mikasa let her fingers run up her hair and didn't attempt to speak because everything was wrong and she didn't even know where to begin. Actually, she didn't _want_  to begin; she wanted this hellish episode from The Twilight Zone to end already. All she had done today was marathon thoughts of Levi and the awful things he said to her face while reflecting back at all the sweet and witty things he wrote to her behind a glowing screen.

It was just cruel; the whole clusterfuck of a situation was cruel. Mikasa knew  _how_  it happened, but she couldn't believe how she became utterly torn between two persona's: she wanted to murder the Levi in real life, but she could see herself dating the one online.

How in the hell did that happen?

"Mikasa?" Armin revealed himself, stepping out from behind Eren with a troubled pout. Mikasa knew Armin just as long as Eren, meaning they were as close as family. The three of them have been through everything together. Being an only child, they became the brothers Mikasa never had. Most of the time she looked out for them like her baby siblings, but during other times they pried that role from her and became the protective big brothers just when she needed that element most in her life, and right now, she kind of did.

It was true that she wanted the day to end and not speak of Levi anymore, but these two boys, staring at her with beady eyes glazed with confusion, deserved to know what happened. If there was anyone who she could truly talk to (beside Levi)... they were in this room.

"Levi is an asshole," Mikasa confessed, hating the way her throat clenched, it almost sounded like she would cry.

Armin twisted his mouth sympathetically, but also thoughtfully: his inner wires were billowing through the information given, trying to decipher it all in an organized fashion. Brooding, he went over to the bed and sat next to Eren, who had weakly plopped on the mattress when the unexpected tidal wave of shock had knocked him over.

"I don't get it." Armin blinked rapidly. "Eren told me the two of you wouldn't stop talking every evening. How is it possible to have pleasant conversations online but think that very same person is terrible in person?"

At a slower pace, Eren mulled over what Mikasa said and finally added, "Even I could've told you that the guy was terrible. He wrote a dislike-list the size of the bible and overall just oozed negativity. But yeah, I'm with Armin on this. I don't get it. You two got along well. I thought you already prepared yourself for unpleasant company."

"Not  _that_  unpleasant," Mikasa emphasized. "Online, he was rude and pessimistic, yes, but not to me. In person he's just..." she couldn't even find an appropriate word that didn't fall into the contemptuous category, and after insulting Levi so much she found all those words to be rather mundane and redundant at this point.

"Then maybe you should be penpals." With little thought, Eren quickly spat out the first solution that might cheer her up. "Or have a long distance relationship."

His innocent suggestion almost made her smile, but the overpowering ruefulness concealed it. "No. That's silly," she maundered; her voice barely had any weight to it, she could scarcely hear herself.

While keeping a close eye on her, Eren crawled beside her in bed and she grabbed his hand in hers. Even though Eren changed a lot over the years, there was something about the kid's energy that helped her through the hard times; she still found strength through him even when he wasn't charged 100% himself.

Penpals would be nice, though. She would miss those nightly talks with Levi. It was becoming a treasured routine. Looking back, she took a good thing for granted. A feeling of guilt settled because she had this great person IMing her every night, but it wasn't enough and she ended up blowing the whole thing with impatience.

"So...what happened, exactly?" Eren asked carefully.

Letting in a deep breath, Mikasa then explained, aggrandizing here and there as she added in all the exact detail she acquired since yesterday while including her own thoughts.

During the unfortunate tale, Eren and Armin would nod, lift their brows in surprise, wince from secondhand embarrassment and when she dropped the final bomb, that Levi was actually the bullying prick himself, their mouths hung as if unhinged.

The room was silent for several minutes.

"This is what you get for following Sasha's advice." After collecting his jaw from the floor, Armin scolded the immature idea. "You should've just asked him out from the get-go."

As everyone who befriended Armin knew, he did not hold back his thoughts and he never dulled the sharp truth, although he cared, although he was actually holding back, he still said things that most people giving sympathy would keep to themselves.

"Believe me, I've been thinking the same all day," Mikasa admitted to her fault, "but when you think about it, the outcome would've been the same. If he's that rude to a stranger than it was only a matter of time before he showed that side to me. Or maybe he would've been different under different circumstances. I don't know. And now I'll never know." She scooted up to reline back against the headboard as she rolled her hands together in a nervous ball. "I've been going back and forth, thinking  _what ifs,_  and it's driving me crazy."

Armin tightened his lip, then braced himself with a steady breath. "Think of it this way: maybe it's for the best that you found out the truth sooner rather than later. If you spoke for months,  _then_  had this unfortunate encounter with him, the lasting effects would be greater and much more hurtful."

"I know it sounds really immature..." her voice was weak and scratchy, like she just found out a childhood pet died. "And I know I only talked to him for a week, and that doesn't seem like much—but...I really liked him, you know? I finally had someone who  _got me_."

"I get you." Eren reassured her sadly, trying to consoled her with a light tingling stroke on her arm. As she stared down at his hand, she reminded herself that she would always have Eren and no one would ever replace him, but...Eren couldn't give her everything she needed and she didn't know how to make that clear without offending him. A comparison was in order, she decided, because she had to explain her feelings in a way he would understand.

"You know how you and Jean always play video games together and watch the same shows and argue about the same things? Overall, you just  _get_  each other, right?"

Eren gave her a look, one that suggested she just accused him of getting along with Hitler. "Not really, I'll never understand him," Eren spat, fitfully writhing and breaking his rare ripe attitude. "He's so annoying and immature."

What a coincidence, so was Eren. No wonder why they get along so well.

Mikasa rendered a deadpan expression at him for not making this easy for her even while she was supposed to be in the depressing spotlight. He's so defensive when it comes to people accusing him and Jean of getting along.

"But you  _do_  get each other," she insisted. "I'll never understand how the two of you can tolerate watching a cartoon about talking ponies, but Jean understands and shares your enthusiasm with things I do not get about you. And well, _I_ finally had someone like that: someone who got me. Someone who understood my interest and didn't discredit them," her shaking head fell limply after she realized how stupid she sounded. "I know I deserve to feel like shit for emotionally investing myself with some stranger online, but I had a little hope and it felt like it was just crushed."

She...liked Levi, and she was expecting a really amazing outcome with him. Not fireworks or dreamy butterflies, a fairy tale happy ending or anything romantically cliché, but she expected to form a special bond with Levi, whether romantic or friendly; she sure as hell didn't anticipate becoming his  _enemy_.

Now she was back to square one, back where she started—no, actually, it's worse this time because she actually had a teasing taste of her dream guy. Before she met Levi things were better because she didn't yet know how it felt to hit it off with someone who she shared so much chemistry with.

"Should I talk to him?" Eren offered after a while. For the first time in a while, he looked focused and determined: like her old Eren. "You know, a man-to-man talk."

"No, please don't." The idea made her flinch with embarrassment. "If it's not to much to ask, I would rather not talk about him and forget any of this ever happened."

Eren frowned, he looked more heartbroken than her. But Armin, being more careful with the emotions he let show, did the right thing by bidding to her request, he stood, set on changing the subject.

"Eren and I were about to watch a movie," he chuckled with a condescending roll to his eyes. "He thinks I'm heartless for not seeing Frozen yet." Eren had a soft heart for Disney films, or anything digitally or artistically animated for that matter, and Armin ofttimes thought they were a childish waste of time. But he secretly loved them. Mikasa knew. "You're free to join us," Armin finished with a crooked smirk.

"And we'll order out so you don't have to cook," Eren added, much less enthused than Armin.

"That actually sounds nice. Thanks, guys."

**~x~**

Arriving on the 37th floor, Levi exited the elevator, escaping the God awful music playing, and scurried down the long windowless and carpeted path that lead to his door. Levi had done nothing but drive around until night blanketed over Sina City. Being back on foot again proved to be laborious and tiring and all he wanted to do now was relax at home. After unlocking his condo, he hurried inside and threw down his tote bag and removed his shoes carelessly.

" _GET OUT!_ " A voice that sounded oddly similar to his own shrilled, and hostile whirring sounds followed after.

"It's me, Angel. You're suppose to say that to  _other_  guests," Levi instructed dully, as if recited a million times as he unraveled himself from his scarf.

Perched up on the lamp shade, the Congo African Grey cocked his neck at Levi until the tip of his feathered head reached his wing.

"If you're going to greet me, do so properly," Levi drilled the pet, his hands impatiently fumbling with the annoying buttons of his coat.

Angel expanded his wings, flapped himself down the hall and landed on the coat hook where he preformed a little head-bobbing dance as he observed his owner. Finally relieved of all his layers, Levi reached out to rub under his chin and the bird made a high trill noise, pleased with his master tending to his special spot.

"Hello."

"Hi." Levi answered the bird.

"Pumpkin."

Levi withdrew his hand crossly, relocating it to his hip."So _that's why_  you're warming up to me, asshole."

Angel jetted over to Levi's shoulder and hitched a ride as they headed down the hall and into the living room where a tub of pumpkin seeds laid filled and closed on the coffee table.

After passing a seed to him, the bird chewed and took out the tasty treat inside, letting the shell drop to the floor which Levi picked up and disposed of immediately.

"Race car."

"Not right now," Levi lifelessly answered the bird.

"Vroom vroom."

"Later."

Angel flew off in a fuss and perched up on a potted plant to groom himself (aka: pluck out all his feathers because he didn't get his way). Levi grabbed the universal remote and turned the stereo on with a click and The Shins flowed from the speakers. That's what he was listening to this morning when he was in higher (yet anxious) spirits.

To keep himself from punching a hole in the wall, Levi decided to keep his hands busy and the best way to do that was by keeping a duster in one hand and air freshener in the other. Dusting and thinking, spraying and repenting, Levi finished off the bookshelf and tackled the rest of the surfaces. Milling about his condo, spot to spot, striking every ledge that hadn't even had time to accumulate dust since Levi preformed this ritual daily.

Usually, when Levi would clean he'd exclusively think of nothing but his tasks and effective ways to get the job done, but right now he was on autopilot with his mind elsewhere. Once the dust settled and all was said and done between him and Mikasa, Levi was left buried in this a filthy situation with no foreseeable way to climb up. Levi had pridefully self-proclaimed himself as an excellent and capable cleaner—there was no spec of grim and dirt he couldn't scrub back to a pristine state—but Levi honestly hadn't the faintest clue how to clean the mess he made this time.

As he sanitized the birds toys, recollections crammed into his mind and he squirmed with a shudder. The things he said to Mikasa...God, he still couldn't believe he said all that to  _M_ _ikasa_  of all people.

Only if he knew it was her... No, actually, that's where he went wrong. He shouldn't have jumped to assumptions in the first place. He doesn't even remember why he took it as far as he did. But given his experience, his judgment of character was often spot on, but this time he was thrown for a loop, propelled so far off and was stranded in a strange state of mind. Levi was wrong, and that in and of itself was shocking enough on its own, but he also had the whole situation with Mikasa to deal with on top of it.

Invigorated by his infallible coping mechanism, Levi wiped his hands which have finally stopped pulsing with nerves; he felt a tad bit calmer (body, not mind). Swashing a foot up on the coffee table, he sank low into his couch, which was amber leather with a sheen shiner than gold. One could slip off it from the amount of polish layered on.

Most of the living room consisted of amber and black; with the walls and curtains being dark charcoal color and most the shelves, furniture, and hard-wood flooring being different shades of amber. Levi was comfortable with the design; it fit his taste, but it was still a very dark and gloomy room and it wasn't helping his dark and gloomy mood.

" _Race car_ ," Angel insisted once again, gliding over Levi's head and landing on the floor smoother than an experience pilot. The African Grey excitedly skittered his naked legs across the hardwood and saddled the flat surface of the Roomba vacuum.

The vacuum which the bird boarded was a gift Hanji gave Levi last year for his birthday. They were tried of watching him get the broom and pan every time a seed shell hit the floor when Angel ate or when a feather shed to the floor during his grooming sessions, so the Roomba was supposed to be a solution to those problems. It somehow automatically detected any new mess on the floor—it was an impressive invention, Levi will admit, but he still didn't use it for its initial purpose. He liked cleaning by hand because he knew the job would be done right. For the most part, the vacuum was left unused on its charging deck—except for when Angel wanted to play.

Raring to go, the bird squawked at his master again to get his attention, but when Levi tried to ignore him and go back to relaxing his pounding head, Angel went on to mimic engine noises to drive Levi into a deeper pit of insanity.

"Fine," he relented and somehow found the strength to push himself up and grab the tub of pumpkin seeds. "We'll play race car."

The bird braced himself by fluffing his feathers.

After turning on the Roomba with the complicated remote, Levi flicked a seed to the other side of the room. The vacuum along with Angel took off with a jolt. The bird squalled happily and let out, " _V_ _room vroom!_ "

Just before the Roomba would suck up the seed, Angel would expand his neck over and grab it for himself like the fatass he is, thus confusing the fuck out of the vacuum. Levi threw out a few more seeds about, scattered out far between and the vacuum took his pet around for his favorite ride.

Just as a  _'_ _Caring is_ _C_ _reepy_ _'_  came up next on the playlist, Levi laid his head back and cupped his forehead, but before he could close his eyes, his phone buzzed on the bookshelf where he had laid it down after he cleaned it. Levi stood up so fast he saw stars and he nearly tripped over the damn vacuum gliding pass in the process of blindly reaching for his phone with his static vision.

Ignoring how he frantically scrambled for the phone like it was a call from a kidnapped family member, Levi snatched it up and checked the contact—and when he saw it was a text from Erwin, he tossed it back on the shelf, leaving it unread, and went back to sulk on the couch.

Of course Mikasa wouldn't text him. She hated him. He kind of hated himself right now too. Another thing they had in common.

One would think that if you fuck up so many times you'd become accustomed to the aftermath and consequences, or you would learn to not make the same mistakes time and time again, but Levi never did. He was a sad excuse of an adult who procrastinated and deeply depended on his editor and friend who was more like his mother—but even Erwin couldn't help him out of this rut this time. This was something Levi had to fix on his own.

Levi hated that woman yesterday with a burning passion, but only because he forced the worse possible assumptions on her and actually believed them for the truth like the idiotic man-child he was. But now that he knew Mikasa was that same woman... he couldn't fault her. After some thought, he couldn't bring himself to be  _mad_  at her, not anymore. And that's so fucking weird for Levi because he held the record for getting angry at everything and everyone for even the tiniest reasons. But this girl, this girl who called him all those names he heard throughout his entire life by schoolyard bullies, his father, love interests, comrades, coworkers, didn't sting anymore. Once he found out who Mikasa was and had time to think, his wounds healed because he knew her and for the Mikasa he knew to say those things meant he'd done something terribly wrong.

Mikasa was one of the most interesting (and tolerable) girl's he's ever spoke to. There's no way someone like her could be some dumb easy bimbo, yet he accused her of being one. That's why she went off on him. He couldn't be mad, if he still were, it would be like punching someone in the face for no reason, then getting angry when they defended themselves.

Recalling the incident that started all this, he was admittedly rude to her first and it escalated from there. The Mikasa he knew online was a very strong, intelligent woman; of course she would blow a fuse when some guy accused her of being a dumb bimbo that slept around.

Levi cringed, remembering some of the things he said. He unintentionally called the girl he's been trying to impress all this time a dumb slut. He already had a low chance with her given his shitty personality, stunted legs and grumpy demeanor, but he took it to another level and insulted her, thus insuring that his chances with her were as likely as him finishing his work by Monday (which were exactly 0%).

The cruelest truth of all was that she was beautiful; fucking stunning and any other time he would've believed he didn't have a chance in hell with a girl like her—and maybe that's why he was jealously bitter toward her to begin with—but he's been talking to her and (miraculous enough) impressing her all this time. Mikasa, that beautiful, mindful, strong, accepting girl, might've actually looked past his faults and gave him a chance, but he unknowingly pushed away someone who he genuinely like, and knowing that hurt the most.

Mikasa wasn't he nasty things he accused her of being; she was a private girl who didn't spam her dating profile with instagram-edited bikini pictures like all the other singles in the area. She didn't post a picture at all, in fact. She didn't brag about how much she can drink, she bragged about how much she can lift. He never thought a girl that close to spiritual perfection could also be beautifully perfect as well. He would've liked her for her unbelievably tolerable personality regardless of her physical appearance, but her stunning looks were definitely seen as a colossal bonus.

It's no wonder why Levi had been alone for so many years; he can't meet woman for this very reason. He thinks they're something they're not and judges them based on appearance, like beautiful girls are personally out to get him. He's a sad, lonely, paranoid prick. This is why he made a dating profile in the first place. This is why he was completely honest on it (aside from his height) because he knew anyone who would message him would accept him for being the pessimistic jaded ass he was. And Mikasa did, in fact she was similar to him in many ways. He finally found someone who was willing to put up with him—but he even pushed that rare gem too the point of no return.

When it came down to it, he hurt her and that was difficult truth to digest. A long time ago, Levi told himself he would never intentionally hurt anyone he cared about again—and yes, he cared about Mikasa, as creepy as that might sound coming from a thirty year old man who cyber-chatted with a collage girl for a mere week, but that damn week meant something and he was determined to not let it fade and become a bittersweet memory. That week was building up to something special before he fucked it all up.

Yes, he's an idiot for getting mixed up in this online affair and for later self-sabotaging said affair. But since he's an idiot, he also cared about her and her feelings and the future they may or may not have. For all these reasons he was going to fucking fix this, he just didn't know how yet.

Even more now than ever he was thinking of what she was doing now, if she was cursing him in her mind, or if she was bad-talking him to that odd pack of friends of hers that she told him about. All he did know for sure was she was thinking about him. Mikasa wasn't the type to forget that quick, which made the notion of apologizing and expecting forgiveness seem impossible.

Making bad first impressions on others wasn't something uncharacteristic for Levi, though, it was actually a repeated offense on his part. Most of his close friends were enemies before befriending him, in fact.

Enemies to friends... How did that happen? How did it work out in the end? He tried thinking back, trying to find a solution he could apply with Mikasa, but all he found in his memories was their relationships slowly bettering over a long course of time. But that wouldn't due. He didn't have time for that. He needed an immediate solution right now or he risked losing Mikasa forever (if he hadn't completely lost her already, which is likely, but he's not giving up that easy because Levi was never the type of man to pass up a challenge).

Over and over he internally repeated:  _How does one fix a bad first impression?_

After emulating the sound of cheers from a crowd, Angel smugly hopped off his hot-rod like a driver that came in first place at the finish line.

Wanting to reward his win with a snack, Angel flew up on the coffee table as Levi laid his head down after brewing himself a headache and he watched the bird struggle to pry open the plastic tub of seeds with his beak. If Angel ever did figure out how to open the container without Levi, he would probably eat the entirety of the supplies and be too fat to fly.

"What do you think I should do?" Levi asked Angel. A birds brain was probably smarter than his at this point.

The bird whirled around with an innocent tilt to his head. "Pumpkin."

Levi scowled at the glutton. "Feeding you isn't going to fix this, fatass."

Angel rotated his head into a side profile, glaring at Levi with a single sinister eye. He made a hostile clicking noise (which translated to  _'fuck you'_  in African Grey) then flew off to his cage—leaving a little present for Levi in mid flight.

Glowering, Levi moved his eyes to the fresh dropping on the floor. "You fat spiteful prick."

"Jerk off," the bird aggressively pecked his toy bell like a boxing match was about to begin between them. He certainly had his daddy's mouth and attitude.

That reminded him: Angel hated him at first, too. He used to bite him and make nests out of his printed drafts and shit on everything Levi loved, but over the years they finally warmed up to each other. Unlike humans, most animals don't go by first impression: they're frightful and cautious around strangers, but once you prove to them that you're there to care for them, feed them and love them, in return they learn to love and trust their owner.

Then, right at that moment, a possible answer to his problem hatched open.

The answer wasn't an immediate solution like he was looking for (and it wasn't much of a solution, but merely a thread of hope to follow). Fast fixes were lazy and impatient, he realized, but the idea he came up with was a slow, time-consuming, effort-draining process—but if Mikasa would let him, he would do it for her.

Every second they didn't talk and try to reconcile, a painful pang would shoot in his chest and Levi  _never_  felt that before and that strange new feeling blooming inside told him Mikasa was worth it. There's something about this girl that was worth that extra mile. Never did he imagine himself even attempting to put so much effort into a single person, but even so, he still gripped his phone and nervously twiddled his thumbs as he thought of the perfect way to phrase this.

If that old saying that popped in his mind had any truth to it, then it was the only way to fix this.

**~x~**

Mikasa hated the bland taste of fortune cookies, but always cracked one open when she ordered Chinese food just to see her fortune. Since Eren was like a damn vacuum that sucked up anything, she always passed the broken pieces off to him. Mikasa propped her feet in Eren's lap as she flatted out the scroll.

After reading the Chinese lesson and lucky numbers, she flipped the slip over and internally read her fortune. ' _An admirer is too shy_ _t_ _o meet you. Be on the look out and make the first move!_ _'_

Crumbling up the slip, she flicked it across the room and put her eyes back on the movie. There's nothing more ironic than an outdated fortune. It's a little too late for that piece of advice.

She did do just as the message instructed: she was on the look out for Levi, but failed to realize she actually found him. But when she made the first move, it ended in tragedy (and almost blood).

"That guy is such a dick," Eren chewed as he commented, referring to Hans.

Mikasa agreed with a dull nod. "Yeah, and he's a fake piece of shit that tricked Anna into liking him when all all along he was a split personality psycho," she spit out bitterly.

Armin scoffed. "Um, spoilers?"

"Sorry..." She forgot he had hadn't watched this movie yet.

"Don't worry," Eren pat her calf. "You'll find a Kristoff, just like Anna did."

Armin tossed up his arms up fitfully. "Why am I being forced to watch this if you two are just going to spoil everything?"

See, that proved it: Armin secretly loved Disney movies or else he wouldn't care about spoilers.

Sometime during Anna and Hans performance of  _'L_ _ove is an Open_ _D_ _oor_ _'_ , Mikasa's phone jingled for an incoming text and she took her rolling eyes from the cheesy display of romance to reach into her hoodie pouch and pull out her cell.

She expected Sasha, hell, she expected the president himself to text her before  _him_. She almost ignored it—but she wasn't that eager to return to the duet on the screen, plus there was that pesky curiosity griping at her that made her click onto the message thread.

 **{** _They say it takes a thousand good impressions to undo one bad first impression. When could I schedule in the first of many good impressions with you?_ **}**

 **{** _Can't talk. Too busy fucking the whole fraternity house._ **}**

 **{** _I take it you're still mad at me._ **}**

 **{** _Furious._ **}**

The chime when off again after that, but she didn't bother checking it and just tossed her phone into the blanket pooled in her lap and returned to the movie.

She bit at her thumbnail thoughtfully, not catching a note of the ending of the song because the gears in her mind were turning, but they abruptly halted when she sensed Armin staring at her from the recliner. The strobe flash of scenes changing flickered on his face and highlighted his thin smile.

Armin being Armin, he probably knew who texted her and what she was mulling over.

—And she would later discovered she was right. Armin did know, and he also had his own commentary to add.

Right as Armin was ready to depart from their apartment, Mikasa gave him a hug because she felt like the three of them didn't hang out together like this enough and tonight was a nice.

"Things will work out." Armin said in her hair as he pat her back. "You'll see. Have faith."

"I don't know about that."

Armin broke the hug and he had that look in his eye: that  _'_ _I prepared a_ _five-thousand_ _word speech to accept my honorary award_ _'_  look. She braced herself with a breath.

"You know I have no interest in dating, but I do know quite a bit about the psychology behind it."

Mikasa leaned against the wall, giving him doubtful eyes. "Don't give me a lecture about how arguing actually benefits relationships or something ridiculous like that."

He shook his head, stepping closer and cornering her. "No, I was just going to say that sometimes you can't force things; it goes against nature. You forced that meeting with Levi and it didn't turn out well. All I'm saying is, don't force opportunities away or people away either. You said so yourself that you drove yourself crazy with  _what ifs_. I'm not saying you should forgive anyone or fix anything if you don't want to, but if you don't at least try to figure out this mess with Levi for your own sake, your going to spend a very long time wondering what if— _W_ _hat if_ it was all a big misunderstanding?  _What if_  I talked to him to reconcile?  _What if_  he was The One?"

And  _w_ _hat if_  he really was just an asshole with a different internet persona? Well, she supposed either way she would have an answer, thus eliminating the  _if-factor_ for the future. Armin sighed and braced her arms, giving an encouraging squeeze.

"But I'm not telling you what to do, Mikasa. I just want you happy and right now, you're not too happy, but for just one split second... you  _smiled_ when you read your text message. And Mikasa, you don't smile, especially like that, to  _anyone_. Subconscious ticks like that could tell you more about how you feel than your brain or your heart. If Levi can still make you smile even after all that occurred between the two of you, then there's still hope to work with and you can overcome one argument."

For Armin granting her a little hope, she ended up smiling for him but if felt fake, conscious of the fact that Armin can apparently read different kinds of smiles now. She didn't even know she smiled when she read Levi's message about impressions, and she certainly had no idea what kind of smile it was. But getting pass  _that_ argument? A smile certainly couldn't fix that.

"I don't think so, Armin. But I appreciate the advice."

Armin released his guard on her and went to grab his coat and in doing so, Mikasa noticed the look of disappointment on his face, like he was trying to hold a positive front for her but couldn't hold it up forever.

Quickly, but reluctantly, she added, "I'll sleep on it."

But Mikasa never did get around to sleeping.

To get the ridiculously catchy song  _'_ _Let it go_ _'_  out of her head, she listened to  _'W_ _ithout_ _W_ _ords_ _'_  on repeat at a just barely audible level so as not to disturb cranky Mr. Woerman upstairs, and she mouthed along to the line  _'N_ _ot all of life is so cruel, not all of life is so untrue._ _'_

She was currently laying in bed, staring at Levi's message about a thousand impressions like an idiot. Ironically enough,  _'A_ _1000_ _W_ _ays to_ _D_ _ie_ _'_  was on her television on mute and she honestly didn't know which would be worse, it's like choosing between two deadly poisons by picking the one that tasted slightly better than the other.

Mikasa also got around to reading the last text Levi sent that she previously ignored, it read:

 **{** _I know you're mad. Stay mad. It would be too easy if you forgave me and I don't deserve an easy out. But I still need to make it up to you. I figured making it up to you a thousand times would suffice._ **}**

This time, Mikasa didn't smile (but then again, she didn't know she smiled earlier either before Armin pointed it out). What kind of faces did she used to make when she talked to him every night? she wondered.

There was something about that man that just made her zone out of the real world and enter another, and right now she was stuck in reality and wasn't too happy about it. She was so used to talking to him at this time that it was honestly  _unnerving_  how hard it was to return to her normal routine. It just didn't feel right to end the night without talking to Levi.

The room felt depressing without that constant notification ringing off: that chime had become her evening soundtrack. But now the lyrics ran out on a final sad note and she felt like she was in an empty concert arena: the fun was over and she was alone, basking in memories that would never again reunite with her.

Her brain felt unchallenged at not having to come up with any witty remarks or sarcastic japes that Levi liked. She missed being on her computer, talking to him and sharing links, starting movies at the same time so they can write their real-time hateful reviews to each other. It was a mini work out when she would run out for a drink or a snack and try to make it back before he wrote back.

It was like a game. Really, it's all been a game. A sample of a perfect guy that had been taken away from her before she could enjoy all the benefits. Mikasa lost Levi before they even had a fighting chance (Actually, their fighting was what landed them in this horrible predicament).

Mikasa felt pathetic and embarrassingly sad and Ray LaMontagne's repeated chores  _'_ _W_ _ithout_ _W_ _ords'_  made it all the more unbearable, yet she continued to torture herself, thinking of what Armin said about _what ifs_  while rereading Levi's message about a thousand good impressions. A part of her found humor at the thought—but she couldn't even meet him once without royally fucking that up. How would they manage a thousand more?

But  _what if_  they could?

With all these thought of good and bad impressions, the random recollection of a book series Mikasa used to love popped in her mind. When Lemony Snicket said Klaus didn't like Sunny at first, but as they grew they were as thick and thieves and said:

 _'_ _Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time._ _'_

That's one of the first book quote's Mikasa memorized and believed in, because as a kid, she didn't like America but grew to love it, she didn't like Jean but later dated him, she didn't like the taste of protein shakes but now she couldn't go a day without a tall glass, she didn't like the idea of a dating website but later found it a solution (briefly, anyway).

Changing her initial impression was a pattern in her life and the quote felt very true to her—however, like Lemony Snicket taught her, first impressions are often inaccurate, but in some cases they are all you need to know about a person. And in this case, Levi was Count Olaf: a miserable, devilish, weird man and just like the Baudelaire orphans, she knew she was correct to assume he would always be that miserable, devilish, weird man with no hope of redemption.

But even after telling herself this, she kept looking at the message, still imagining a thousand meetings with the man that simultaneously shamed her in public and made her blush behind a screen every night.

_What if, what if, what if._

In need of a scenery change, Mikasa tossed her head on the pillow, taking her strained eyes away from the text. On her vanity was a mirror, but where there was once a large frame of reflecting glass were photos: snapshots of her parents, Eren's parents, her friends during happy times. In the middle was a small window where the mirror was untouched.

She noted how messy the vanity had become; cluttered with items that weren't typically there. She was so excited this morning and wanted to look the best she could for Levi—although she still stood her ground for a natural look and didn't wear heavy make up, she put product in her hair, which she never did, she put lotion on, hoping it would cure the dried pores, side effect of the cold winter. She even put on perfume and after that she observed herself in the mirror, hoping Levi would be pleased with what he saw.

This morning she found her eyes circling around all the photos of memories and for just a second she caught herself thinking of something that made her embarrassed, but happy. She pictured Levi, who was still that faceless, tall, dark and handsome man at the time, having his own section in her dearly cherished collage of important people.

She closed her eyes and winced painfully from the vanity, but in doing so her eyes fell back to her phone screen—and just as she looked back, she received a new text from Levi. She jolted up and just for a second, that notification gave her a familiar sense—how can she experience nostalgia when she only talked to the him for a week?

She closed her eyes because she didn't have the bravery to click on the thread yet. Even after all those things he said to her, and after all the things she said to him... he's still  _trying_  to talk to her and that realization hadn't hit her until just now

Trying, that was the keyword.

Mikasa took a moment to brood over Levi's efforts. She reminded herself: Levi texted her first (and continuously after.) Levi offered her a thousand good impressions. Levi went into her work and said he wanted to talk to her. Levi told her to wait when she was going to immediately storm out of the fruit bar.

Levi was trying to fix this. Maybe Armin was right—maybe she should stop pushing and forcing and just go with the flow, for now.

After building up the nerve, she valiantly peeled her eyes open and read his message.

 **{** _I'm only asking to meet you a thousand times, it's not like I'm asking too much here. Think of it as a simple favor for a stupid man. It's a good charity cause; it is the holidays, after all._ **}**

With her eyes locked on his words, she tossed her head side to side, trying with every fiber of her being not to smile—but she ended up feeling a smirk tug up despite her efforts. She couldn't believe that dumbass was bold enough to ask her for a  _thousand_ _meetings_  when her giving him just  _one_  would be a miracle at this point.

"God, Levi," she maundered inaudibly to herself. "What are you getting yourself into?" What is she getting into? was the real question.

Maybe Levi wasn't like Count Olaf—he was a filthy slob, after all, and Levi cleaned gym equipment like he was paid to do it.

"Screw it," she huffed and hit the message window, fed up with the solitary silence.

 **{** _I guess I could squeeze in one good impression with you tomorrow._ **}**

 **{** _1 down, 999 to go._ **}**

 **{** _Don't get cocky and count it just yet._ **}**

 **{** _Thank you, Mikasa. I won't screw up this time._ **}**

"We'll see about that." With a click, she powered down the display, leaving just the black screen—until she noticed her reflection smirking back at herself. Forcing a frown, she tucked her phone beneath her pillow and thrashed her head into the fluff.

As Mikasa laid back flat, eyes to the ceiling, feelings of regret and pathetic desperation surged through her immobile body. Maybe it was a fluke. Or maybe Levi really was an asshole with a split personality. Or maybe he was having a shitty day and it had nothing to do with her and all he saw was a punching bag for his frustrations.

There were too many possibilities to consider and she couldn't live with herself until she knew the truth, even if it were bitter, nothings more bitter than being left with all these unanswered questions. She needed to know if those days of blissful chatter meant nothing or something because it certainly felt like something special at the time. Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding. Or maybe they really weren't meant to be. Either way, Mikasa needed to know for sure because if online Levi was somewhere inside that despicable man, she  _wanted_  that.

She rolled to her side and clicked off her lamp and intended to get an early night (even though she knew her thoughts would keep her awake). What's the worse that could happen? If he made another bad impression, then that's just more work for him—two-thousand good impressions to make up for two bad impressions.

Overall, it better be one hell of an impression. If not, she risked hurting herself even more than she already was, but, she knew that the Levi she talked to online was somewhere inside that little miserable man—buried deeply and hidden and locked away with no key in sight—and she was determined to pull that side out of him into the open, or kill him trying.

**~x~**

Getting ready to meet up with Levi today didn't feel as pleasant as it did yesterday, Mikasa unfortunately discovered as she untangled the knots that accumulated from tossing and turning all night. Yesterday was filled with wonder and excitement and she found herself with a pep in her step with a lively gloss in her eyes and she couldn't wait to get to Stohess Fitness.

Today, Mikasa wasn't as bright eyed (mainly from sleep deprivation) and she just kept making faces at he mirror as she brushed her teeth, looking like a mouth-foaming stray, because his glowering face kept popping into her mind and she couldn't believe she was subjecting herself to seeing him again. Going to Stohess today felt about as thrilling as going to the dentist for a painful root canal.

Spitting out the minty paste, Mikasa remembered an awful thing Levi said to her the other day, and by the time she looked back at the mirror, she spotted something awful: a stupid grin on her face that manifested when she recalled how Levi called giving him a second chance a holiday charity.

This whole torrid situation felt the same as being flipped around like rag doll, suffering the side effects of whiplash again and again.

It sucked, everything just sucked. But Armin was right, as always—if Levi could still make her smile, there was still a sliver of hope.

Of course, Mikasa was still skeptical about this whole  _One-Thousand Impressions_  scheme. She had a hard time imagining magically mending all conflict with Levi, and miraculously hashing it out with him like a civilized human being today, or any day for that matter, or the day that Hell froze over or when pigs flew, or insert another impossible scenario here. Even if she hadn't fought with him, they probably would've fought on their blind date. That's just the type of shitty personality he had. Or maybe she really did have the wrong first impression about him. Or maybe he really was a dating site serial killer that still wanted to kill his prey and she was stepping into his trap.

Shrugging at her forced frown in the mirror, she left the bathroom and busied herself with the task of bundled herself in warm layers before heading out. As she slipped her arm into her jacket sleeve, she wondered, if a thousand good impressions could undo a bad one, can begging for good luck a thousand times take away the bad? Because she certainly has too much of that and to get through today, Mikasa will need more luck than Eren had when he passed his SAT.

Fearing she might jinx it, she left the apartment without informing Eren about her second (technically third) meet up with Levi—though, telling Eren  _anything_  would be impossible this morning, because he was snoring on the couch with his controller abandoned on his belly and the video game character, without will of his own, idling on the TV screen.

Descending down the stairwell and down the driveway once boarded in her Cruiser, she headed to Stohess Fitness: the gym she swore to never to enter again

Here goes nothing—she merged onto the freeway—or the beginning of a nervous break down. She sped down the busy road, seeing the cities skyscrapers emerging from the fog. They say the third time is the charm, she wondered how true that was.

Her Cruiser swerved into the Mall Maria parking garage and by some weird streak of coincidence (which she was tired of the taste of by now) she parked next to Levi's Mustang again. And that's when she remembered that Levi, on top of all his other evil deeds, also scratched up her car. Noting that the car was parked crooked, she squeezed herself out from her side and slammed her door the best she could and skipped over his bummer.

"Moron needs to go back to driving school," she miffed and followed the only source of light until she reached the noisy street. After she scurried down the pavement, she idled at the busy corner, waiting to cross the street, encircled by a crowd of strangers with similar objectives.

The wind from racing cars animated her hair and tugged her clothing as she watched the countdown on the pillar. Right about now, Mikasa regretted wearing such a thick knitted sweater under her jacket. Today was a rare warm day in December, though the foggy gray skies did suggest it would rain soon. Beeps from carpooling cars and shouts from taxi hailers came from all around. Without much thought, her hand slipped into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

 **{** _I'll be heading into Stohess soon._ **}**

 **{** _Take your time. In the meantime, do you want me to order you a drink so it's ready when you arrive?_ **}**

 **{** _A strawberry smoothie would be nice._ **}**

 **{** _You got it._ **}**

Levi sure was laying on the gentlemen role thick today—she didn't know if she should be impressed or disgusted, but she did deserve a smoothie after all he put her through and honestly, she was looking forward to that more than seeing Levi.

Try as she might, Mikasa still could digest the fact that Online Levi and Manlet Levi were one in the same. Deciphering the two persona's had been the origin of many headaches last night, and the fact was still hard to grasp, but it seemed he was actually serious about making a good impression on her today—unless that's just his online personality speaking again and he's going to yell at her as soon as she arrived. Wouldn't that be interesting.

The only comforting thought she bore was this: if their meeting goes terrible, she could always pour the strawberry smoothie over his head and storm out of Stohess like she did before.

It was when Mikasa noticed all the commuters bustling by and rudely bumbling into her like a pesky inanimate object blocking them that she realized the light had changed a while ago, but she was too busy making stupid faces at her phone to notice. How was it that Levi was so perfect in text? Even with knowing him in person now, her heart still fluttered when she read his messages. She wondered if the real Levi would ever make her heart flutter like that—she cared heavy doubt with her as she sprinted across the street.

Déjà vu struck her as soon as she entered Stohess and she very nearly made a U-turn, but instead forced her legs to curve right and there she stood, under the door frame of the fruit bar, collecting her nerves as people came and went.

It felt like she was blocked by a force field. It was as if a mental alarm went of and prevented her from entering, for the last time she entered she received the mindfuck of her life and her body was naturally rejecting any association with this blindly-white place to save her from further mental damage.

Every instinct told her to turn back, but then she remembered that she wanted to, no, she  _deserved_  to know the truth. She wanted to know who Levi really was. Was he really the man he was online who she originally fell for, or was he the miserable manlet she loathed?

Tentatively, as if she were about to walk barefooted on glass, Mikasa took the first step forward and each step after that came easier until she flounced down the narrow shop—but her confident strut sizzled out and ended abruptly just after she incised her way through the queue.

Paralyzed as if cast in stone, like an unfortunate person who found their eyes set on Medusa, Mikasa goggled her eyes at Levi; who sat at the same table as yesterday, but in the opposite seat with his gaze transfixed to the window as he drummed his fingernails on the table.

Within a blink, his eyes snapped to her. Mikasa flinched from the sudden, and also eerie, startle and he sat back into the press of the booth with his unreadable eyes still locked on her. Gulping hard, Mikasa approached the beast cautiously.

Once she made it to the table, with her eyes flitting around everywhere to avoid Levi, she stood there on display longer than she meant because another force field sealed up the seat, but soon she crossly threw down her bag into the booth, breaking the field, and sat across from Levi with a bounce. Making a conscious effort to keep her eyes off him, she planted them out the window. All she saw of him was a blurry details from he corner of her eye. From that, she could tell he was looking at her.

Even though her boiling nerves, the random warm weather and the indoor heating made her feel incredibly hot, Mikasa kept her jacket on, just in case she needed to make a mad dash. After stealing a sly glimpse at Levi, she discovered that he didn't share the same thoughts. He had his black wool coat draped over the backrest and was sporting a beige long-sleeve top with the cuffs folded up to his elbows.

Neither of them said a word for a long time, and even though Mikasa saw the strawberry smoothie meant for her centered between them, she didn't touch it and it began to melt and soak the table with a ring of condensation.

 _This was a bad idea_ , she kept thinking. Her teeth grid nervously and her leg kept jerking under the table like she had a twitch. Soon the beat her heel created was the only sound she could focus on. It almost felt like they were two strangers that convinced themselves they were sitting alone, or that one of them was a ghost the other couldn't communicate with without looking like a lunatic talking to air.

Holding her chin in hand, Mikasa watched the traffic and people pass outside the window, and a sudden drizzle started to spit on the glass, not cold enough to turn to snow. Scowling at the peppered raindrops on the window, she realized: she's sitting across from Levi. That notion would have made her happy another time, but Levi was also that dreadful manlet she hoped to never see again, never mind sit, chat, and sip smoothies with. An exaggerated sigh let loose.

"We got off on the wrong foot," Levi shuffled forward, knitting his fingers together on the table.

The sudden break in the silence made Mikasa jerk in her seat, unwillingly jarring her attention straight at him. Those constricting eyes instantly trapped her.

"Technically, were suppose to be meeting now, or, well, yesterday." Levi began, speaking slowly in that low rumble of a voice. "If you want, we could scratch out everything prior and call it a glitch."

Mikasa fell speechless for a second here because Levi kind of just talked to her, in person, and didn't insult her. How in the hell was she suppose to prepare for something unpredictable like that? But the shell shock didn't last long, because on second thought, his words did irritate her.

"That was more than a glitch," she grumbled curtly and flicked her bangs from her eyes, not convinced that their spat could be fixed that easy. "I thought you wanted to talk through all the mess, not erase it."

That's too easy of a "fix" and Levi made it clear in text that he didn't deserve an easy out. Once again, online Levi was contradicting manlet Levi. Mikasa didn't come here looking for a redo, she's looking for a total revamp. Did he expect her to just forgive and forget? She needed to know if he was even worth forgiving in the first place. She needed to know who the hell he really was and that was going to take a lot of convincing and a redo simply wouldn't cut it.

Levi's eyes downcasted to his lap and his thumbs dwindled together on the table."I meant what I said when we first started talking—I really do enjoy talking to you, Mikasa. I want to keep talking the way we did before. I don't want to talk about the people we were for the past two days because that wasn't us, don't you agree?" He tipped up his gaze, and unlike yesterday, those eyes didn't appear so crushingly cruel. "But, if you don't want to try and start this over, I get it."

The dotted glass took his attention away from her, and he resembled a sad actor in an anti-depressant commercial.

Honestly, Mikasa didn't know how to answer because she just didn't know yet. She agreed that she wasn't that angry, grudge-holding person she had been with him, but she still had no idea who he really was or who he turned her into or if this was even worth fixing.

"For the sake of argument, I guess I could..." Levi looked her straight in the eye then and she briefly forgot how-to-English, but she luckily gathered her words before they ran from reach. "I guess I could try to start over. But we can't be completely oblivious to what happened. There's still a few things I want to discuss."

"Of course, sure," he was still looking at her, but this time with inquiring eyes and he remained silent. Blinking back and forth at each other, Mikasa belatedly realized he was waiting for her to bring up something to discuss.

With her lips flapping, she scrambled for words. She couldn't think. Not right now. For one, they're in public, in a little busy shop and she couldn't start saying  _'you hurt my feelings when out accused the fraternity of tag-teaming me'._  Two, even though she had many things to say, she didn't even know where to begin in an organized fashion that didn't make her sound like a babbling idiot. And three, well, there was no third excuse, but Mikasa kind of wished Levi would roll down his sleeves because those basilic veins wrapped around his bare forearm muscles was  _really_  frigging distracting. "Uh... We don't have to talk about it right now. I'll let you know when it comes to me."

Bobbing his head meekly, he placed his gaze back on his hands and Mikasa looked back out the window, watching the drops race down the window.

At one point, Levi started to mumble something as they both avoided each others eyes, but Mikasa had made a mistake and peeked at him rubbing his thick neck as he spoke, well, it was suppose to be a  _peek_  but her eyes became glued to the action and, still not paying attention to a word, Levi said something that no one who hasn't been paying attention wanted to hear: "I'm sure you feel the same."

"I do..." she agreed absently, then, with some sense coming back to her, she pried her eyes up with a stir of the head, "Wait, huh?"

"Hm?"

"I...what?" she blinked.

"What?"

"Nothing." While Levi's thin brows sunk low into his squinting eyes, Mikasa sunk down lower into the slippery booth while wishing she was five again so it would be socially acceptable for her to hide under the table.

Yesterday and the day before, Mikasa was so busy trying to find faults on Levi that she ignored everything that wasn't flawed, but now that she was trying to see him as a decent product of humanity, it hit her, without warning, that Levi was actually kind of hot. Not in the traditional tall dark and handsome way, but in a mysterious, muscular and moody way—and that sounded much catchier (but unfortunately was a tongue twister).

Yes, he had faults, just like everyone, his skin was a few shades whiter than this whole brightly white shop and he had dark bags under his eyes with a scar on his cheek and he's shorter than most grown men, but in a way, all those assets suited him now that she was really looking at him as a whole, not picking out minor flaws and magnifying them under a judgmental eye.

To be fair, she's sure Levi could pick out plenty of flaws on her, too. She didn't pamper herself as well as other females so sometimes her skin was rough, she scarcely wore any make up and didn't know fashion if it bit her in the ass, and she a lot of muscles, which some men see as a turn off, and she too had a scar on her face—one that mirror Levi's, strangely enough.

She shook her head and tried to return to heeding Levi, realizing that she was the one being rude this time. Leaning in, she recovered and tried to render some interest in his words, not appearance.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

Almost like he forgot for the moment, he thoughtfully gazed up and propped his elbow back on the backrest and Mikasa caught herself inwardly groaning because it's like he's  _trying_  to test her attention span. Seriously, is this a photoshoot or what? That or Mikasa needed to chill out and get used to being around members of the opposite sex that weren't in her circle of friends. Reminder: Mikasa Ackerman was not shallow nor picky, but Levi was an attractive man. If only her yesterday self could hear her today. Her yesterday self would probably kick her present self's ass for being so ridiculous.

"I was saying that this panned out differently than I anticipated."

"Regarding what, exactly?" This, as in today, or the blind date yesterday—there were a lot of things that panned out unexpectedly between them.

"Well, everything. I expected us to have a pleasant get-together yesterday, that didn't work. Then I expected you to never speak to me again, but you did. And now were kind of talking like human beings and I kind of didn't see that coming—but don't get me wrong, this is nice and I'm glad you came."

Biting her lip, she clasped her clammy hands on the denim of her jeans under the table. "You're not the only one who saw this panning out differently. I was really shocked by how everything turned out. I needed time to talk it out and think, but then I realized, if I wanted to figure this out then the only person I needed to talk to was you."

He eyed her carefully, scarcely blinking, then his eyes flicked off her. "I'm... sorry for how all this went down, Mikasa—it was a really shitty coincidence that happened to us, but if it's any consolation," he flicked his view to the glass between them and nudged his chin at it, "I'll buy you as many smoothies you want until you stop hating me—so long as you don't pour it over my head, that is."

Mikasa finally pulled the glass closer, dunking the straw into the mushy pink depths and she tried to smile, but she felt too uncomfortable with this whole situation to properly lift the corners of her lips. Not to mention she was tempted to do just that—that was literally her first instinct: grab the smoothie, pour it on him and run out the door.

She gave her answer by taking a sip from her straw to show she intended to take him up on that offer. A wild fusion happen in her mind as she sipped, and it wasn't the taste or chill of the smoothie. A war commence in her mind, trying to convince her that this was really Levi.

This was the same guy she's been talking to all this time. The same man that sometimes made her heart skip or even heat her cheeks. The same man that would keep her awake all night and make her tired for class or work with no regrets because they couldn't disconnected from their conversations. Yes, he's a rude manlet that hurt her feelings, but he's also still Levi, the guy she had been talking to for over a week and loving every second. The same man that she felt lost and lonely without after one night of not speaking to him.

This was the same man that said he enjoyed her company, and the same man that wanted to continue having her in his company. Either that was a sign of truths and peace or a sign that misery really did love company.

While taking another sip, something occurred to Mikasa and she quickly swallowed her mouthful. "By the way, it's not Mi- _kasa_ , it's Mi-ka-sa, don't stress the syllables." She kind of expected him to say it wrong; every American said it wrong a few times before they eventually got it right. Because of her hard to pronounce name, Mikasa endured some interesting versions of it. Jean wasn't the only one who persevered through hackneyed nicknames—if she punched every person who made the Mi casa joke, she would have to register her hands as weapons.

Levi blinked at her, "oh," and averted his gaze away, probably while realizing he's been saying it wrong to himself all this time. Wow. The stone face asshole actually looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry, I was saying it how it's spelled. You might have to say that a few times before I can get it right."

"Figured," she huffed crossly under her breath, sucking her straw again.

That faint flicker of embarrassment washed away, leaving him with a brooding look. "You're...a lot more hot fused than I initially thought."

"You really can't point fingers at me," she lashed at him, sliding her glass to the side so it wouldn't obstruct her view. "You provoked me. I'm usually a very calm person," she realized here that her voice rose and the bustle of the fruit bar froze and looked at her. She sunk low and lowered her voice a few notches. If she wanted to convince people that she was calm she should probably act like it." If you don't like how I am then why did you ask me to come?"

"Because, like I said before, I liked talking to the Mikasa online and I want to get to know the one in person. Did I say your name right that time?"

"Yes..." she leaned back, squinting her eyes on him with her lips scrunched to the side until she closed her lids wearily—it would be hard to admit this while looking him in the eye: "I liked talking to you too. I just thought... I expected you to be a kinder person. But you're so abrasive."

"I'll give you abrasive. But kind? What gave you that impression?"

She didn't even have to bother glimpsing at that cold and deadpan expression. She lifted up her shoulders. "I'm not saying you were overly sweet; that was actually what I liked about you. You weren't trying to woo me like some guys. You just...talked to me, asked questions. I think that's kind. It's like you weren't expecting anything, you just valued conversation. But in person you're kind of an asshole, plan English."

"I'm really not that bad. It's just you aren't the first young girl to give me trouble here. I know it sounds pathetic, but many of them think they're being cute by teasing a grown man about his flaws. I went defensive and though you'd be like the others. I shouldn't have judged by appearance."

"...I shouldn't have either," she admitted softly. She hated to admit it, but now she felt kind of bad. She said awful things to him, like how he couldn't get a date and hated woman because they won't give him the time of day because he's a manlet. Turned out she was right on the bulls eye after all, but she didn't feel victorious about landing a comeback close to home.

Stirring her straw, she played with the icy mush. "I'm...sorry, too, for  _some_  of the things I said." Notice the emphasis on some:  _some_  of those things he actually deserved. "It's just... you were _really_  annoying but I shouldn't have made things worse. I was wrong to keep up the fight. Anyway, I lost my head." She hated saying sorry, but she knew she was also in the wrong. Sure, Levi played a starring role in their fight scene, but she should have been mature about it.

"As did I. I shouldn't have assumed you were some brainless college skank. I definitely don't think that anymore, promise."

She sneered almost into a full smile. Damn, they're actually getting along. If their meeting went bad, she thought of asking for a booster seat from one of the employees for him—that would've been a great dig where it hurt. A good insult gone to waste.

Pursing her lips, she tilted her head thoughtfully and Levi shrunk even more under her strong gaze. "You're very different than how originally I pictured you."

It's not that she really cared, either way, A pretty face bores her but a brain keeps her around. That didn't imply that Levi was an ugly guy or anything. Quite the contrary, he was a handsome man when he quit frowning and wrinkling his brow and bullying girls. Even though he was different than that initial model her mind created, he did have some redeeming qualities.

Appearing tense suddenly, his jaw clenched, and even though he looked angry, he accidentally just made the Blue Steel face. Maybe he wasn't far from being a model after all. "Sorry to disappoint."

"It's not a disappointment. I just..." Mikasa cut off her sentence short there. This likely offended Levi, but she wasn't offending him, she only stopped speaking because saying  _'I think you're kind of hot, man who bullied me terribly'_  didn't sound right in her head and it sure as hell wouldn't sound right out loud.

"For the record you're different than I imagined too." Here, his eyes not-so-subtly scanned her up and down. "Not that I consider looks as a necessity, but I did picture you being much more ripped."

"I am ripped," she snapped. "I just wear clothes that don't flatter my figure."

"I see..." his eyes were quite literally on her chest right now but she didn't bother pointing that out, because this conversation was already awkward enough. Let him be creepy, if he wants. No harm done. "Well, I mean, it's rare for body builders to look like you, in my experience, is what I'm trying to say."

With a slack expression, she blinked at him. "I can't really tell if your complimenting me of insulting me. Are you trying to say there's something wrong with the looks of female body builders?"

His eyes flickered in disarray. "What? No," he pushed his weight away from the table with a defeated sigh. "If you haven't noticed by now—and I'm sure you have—I'm terrible with women. To put it bluntly, I'm trying to tell you I think you're pretty, like in a feminine sense."

"Oh." She tucked a loose strain of hair behind her ear. Bad timing, Levi. He really does suck with women. "Okay."

For someone who just claimed her as pretty, he sure was looking at her like she was a pile of rotten-smelling garbage. Or perhaps that's just another one of his embarrassed faces. Or  _f_ _lirty_  faces. God, she hoped not.

Looking discouraged, he rested his temple onto his erect palm. "See, I don't give compliments because I sound like a creep. That's why I stick to a round about way of saying things."

"You're not a creep, I don't think,"  _except for the part where you_ _were_ _staring at my chest for an awkward amount of time_ , she thought. "You were yesterday, though. It was mainly my fault though, I lost my cool and didn't have any patience. If I just waited my turn things never would have gotten so bad between us."

"No. It's alright. I know I was hogging the weight machine after my time was up, but I'm very thorough with cleaning the equipment after I use it and I don't like when people rush me."

She  _noticed_. Ironically enough, his cleaning started this mess. "You know, you don't really have to clean it. Most people—" Here is where Mikasa lost her train of thought because Levi decided to reach over, pick up her smoothie glass and wipe the condensation away under it with a napkin. He placed it back down, as if nothing happened and looked at her like _she_  was the strange one for stopping in the middle of a sentence. "—Most people ignore the signs or they just wipe the equipment fast before they use it, not after."

"I have to."

"Do they enforce that rule here? They didn't at my old gym, they had janitors clean up at the end of the day. I didn't see any signs, that's good to know."

"No, I mean no one else does, but I  _have to_. Before and after I use the machines."

Mikasa silently awaited an explanation, or a punchline given Levi's dry sense of humor, but she received neither. "Why? It's a waste of time."

"Because the machines are  _filthy_."

It should be noted here that Levi was a man of few emotions that spoke in a very monotone voice, and that was why Mikasa felt alarmed when his voice sharply voice on the word _filthy_ , like he was enthused for a mere two syllables.

"There might be some sweat residue on the handles but I always shower after I work out, so I don't really care."

"That's really disgusting," he winced. "Don't do that."

"Okay," she threw him a hard look, "so now I'm disgusting?" Honestly, can they both go one sentence without insulting the other? Maybe that zodiac-thing was right. Their relationship ended before it began.

"No, not you," he blew out an exaggerated sigh and scrubbed his forehead aggravatingly. "I have this  _thing_  with cleaning, if that makes it easier to understand."

A puzzle piece clicked together. "...Now it makes sense why you put  _cleaning_  under your likes on your profile," she hummed amusement, then went back to mixing her smoothie as another thought popped in her head. "Speaking of your profile, I hate to bring up your height again since it seems to be the only that I comment on, but I think I'm entitled to mention you are not five-six, you little liar."

Levi opened his mouth, looking as if he replayed her words internally, but still came up with nothing to say. Was he surprised she noticed? (how could she not, three inches can make a lot of difference, innuendo not intended).

"And you're not a C-cup," he spat frustratedly, "I don't even think you're an A."

Leaning forward, Mikasa mouth fell open. " _Excuse you?_ "

Levi glared at her as if he just accused her of being a woman and she became offended at the obvious claim. "It was on your profile."

Ready to accuse Levi of being a liar, she inhaled deeply, but nearly choked when she thought:  _Eren._

That lazy Pepsi-brain moron.

Why in the hell would he put her breast size on her dating profile? She felt so annoyed she almost felt tempted to dash out of the fruit bar, drive home and hide all of Eren's video games and precious Pepsi as punishment. How does he even  _know_  her breast size? Eren had once again proven to be not only an idiot, but king of meaningless facts.

"I didn't write that," Mikasa explained wearily. "A friend helped me put the profile together and apparently I didn't supervise him well enough. He probably wrote other dumb things too. But I'll have you know I wear a binder when I go to the gym, so..." she puffed out her cheeks temperamentally, crossing her arms over her flat chest. It's not that she cared what size the guy thought her breast were, but she wanted to make it clear that unlike him, she didn't lie on her profile (even if she didn't want that piece of information revealed in the first place).

"Oh." He looked at her chest again—maybe that's why he looked before, or maybe he was just a creepy pervert. "Everyone fibs a little on those things and I admittedly did," he finally confessed to his crime, coping with his guilt by cleaning the table more.

Mikasa took another sip as she mined for more to say, letting the texture of the unblended strawberry pieces lap her tongue. "What about your age? Did you lie about that too? I don't know why you'd make yourself  _older_ ; you look too young to be thirty so it's not like you can pull off the lie convincingly—then again, you thought you could fool people into thinking you're taller."

Plucking out another napkin from the dispenser, Levi wiped off his hands and gave a half wag of his head. "Uh, no. I'm thirty years old. I didn't lie about that."

Her brow rose crookedly, observing him with a carefuller eye. If he really was thirty, he must've not aged (or grew) since a teenager. "Really? You look younger than me."

Shifting over his weight, Levi dug for his wallet and plucked out his license, flinging it to her side of the table with a flick of the wrist. "Look at the birth date."

"Oh my  _God_ ," her eyes went  _no where_  near his information. The glorious display in the picture frame stole all her attention. Not being able to peel her eyes away to search for a birth date, she took his word about the age because not even a crowbar could pry her eyes from  _that picture_.

"This is an awesome photo," her voice wavered, warring between amusement and fake sincerity. Picking it up for a closer look, laughs heaped into her throat like a traffic pileup, nearly choking her.

"Shut up," he curled his lip, but he just made himself look even younger from the bratty scowl. "I know I'm not photogenic. That's why I didn't put any pictures on my profile."

Not photogenic? Holy shit, so that face was _involuntarily_  made? Christ, she thought it was an intentional prank for the sake of a laugh. Knowing he was stuck with  _that picture_  unwillingly made her nearly faint.

"No, sorry, it's just," she covered her mouth and her shoulders shook. Her eyes leaked a little like she was going to burst from the pressure. Mikasa could usually contain her composure during any situation but she literally couldn't control her amusement.

That picture.

_That fucking picture._

With ambitious to work in law enforcement, Mikasa wondered if she was professionally cut out to see badly shot ID cards like this or mugshots because she couldn't even handle looking at Levi's drivers license.

The photo was bad— _really bad—_ but in the most hilarious way imaginable. Levi looked like a fourth grader on picture day that had the unfortunate of having his picture snapped when he was trying to look at the tip of his nose, either that or the flash caused him to go cross-eyed momentarily. And she just noticed that he was also half-frowning with an open mouth, looking like a terrified fish, which just made her snort embarrassingly loud. His hair also looked horrible, it looked nicely styled in person but the cut definitely doesn't capture right on film—it just looked so boxy and stiff, tufts poking out awkwardly like a phony toupee.

Eyes tearing and lips tight, Mikasa slid back the license because she needed that  _damn picture_  as far away from her sight as possible before she busted a lung. "It's not terrible," she lied, but tried to think up an excuse for her crudeness as she dabbed her eye. "It's just... cute," she spat out the first adjective she could think of. In a way, it was kind of cute in a really awkward, funny and embarrassing way.

"Cute?" Miraculously enough, Levi nearly uttered a laugh as he slipped the identification back into its slit. "Someone's got a screw loose."

Was he physically unable to keep the vibe nice? This was why the two of them can't have nice things. But he was probably embarrassed, courtesy of Mikasa literally laughing at his face, so she'll let the insult slip.

"For meeting back up with you, yeah, maybe I do."

Mikasa unzipped her jacket and shimmed it off her shoulders, feeling like she was overheating from trying so hard not to laugh, but Mikasa ended up giggling again to herself, remembering the picture even though it was gone from her sight, and Levi slowly allowed his lips to curve up, but tried to hide it with his hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to make fun of you anymore, I just can't stop laughing," and that was strange to hear herself say, because Mikasa didn't even remember the last time she laughed uncontrollably. "You seem like a serious man so I just didn't expect to see an expression like that from you."

"It's alright. I rather you laugh at me then be mad at me." He removed his hand away from his mouth to reach into his other back pocket to dig for something else, and in doing so he revealed his smile—and he looked  _really_  nice with a smile, almost charming. Mikasa wondered what he thought of hers. "I actually like hearing you laugh, even if it is at my expense," he finally fished out his phone from his back pocket and scooted to the edge of his seat, "so I'll show you more horrendous pictures of myself."

Mikasa curiously let her eyes follow him as he picked himself up and took a step, thumbing through his phone as he did.

"Scoot over."

Feeling tense suddenly, she focused on picking herself slightly up and scudded over a space and Levi sat right next to her.

Mikasa kind of wished she moved over more because their legs and arms were kind of doing the  _rubbing-against-each-other-every-time-one-of-them-breathed_  thing. If she moved further away now he would probably see it as her feeling repulse by him, which wasn't the case, oddly enough. As anxious as she felt, she stayed rooted and silently idled while feeling about as stiff as a plank of wood as Levi leafed through his phone with his arm lightly grazing over her sweater sleeve, likewise with his leg against her denim.

To sooth her uptight nerves, Mikasa took a deep breath through the nose—and now she felt about as flimsy as paper because Levi smelled  _really_  nice. Nicer than any boy should smell, and it wasn't that God awful odor of Axe spray that Jean wore or some cologne that smelled more like gasoline. It was a refreshing and simple scent of shampoo and detergent. Living with Eren for so long, she forgot that most normal men washed their clothes and showered regularly.

"Here's one my friend snapped and sent to me," Levi leaned in closer—and now there was roughly a half-centimeter of space between them—and presented his phone out for her to see. "Their only purpose in life is to get shitty pictures of me. They even give me a scrapbook of these photos every year, just to add insult to injury."

Placing a hand on her lips, Mikasa smirked. "Your friend must be a ghost. You look horrified." Just moments before, she compared Levi to a model striking poses, but the same attractiveness couldn't be captured on film, apparently. What a curse, attractive but unable to show off your attractiveness via photography.

He moved the photo aside with a flick of his thumb and revealed another snapshot and she felt his body tense at the sight. "And here's another."

This one was harder to conceal her laugh with and some giggles slipped out. "Were you in the midst of a sneeze or did you just smell a corpses?"

"The latter, my friend has a habit of dissecting animals and then not washing or changing afterward."

Oh, that friend, Armin's professor. They sure did seem like an interesting person.

She glanced at Levi, then back to the captured catastrophe. It's like comparing twins: one really awkward, attractively-challenged man and his handsome brother who accidentally modeled and  _sat too close to_ _her_  without any prior warning.

After laughing at him so much, Mikasa had the need to offer him the benefit of the doubt. "Maybe you just take awful pictures when you're not ready. Have you ever tried taking a picture of yourself when you were completely prepared?"

"No." Levi set his phone on the table and swiveled to her solemnly. "I vowed if I ever took a selfie, it would be the picture I sent to the obituaries before killing myself for taking said selfie."

Because of all the confusion, Mikasa had her doubts that this was really the man she spoke to online, but this man was definitely the Levi she knew. It appeared that personality wasn't an online exclusive after all.

"I never took a selfie either," she escaped his gaze shyly, looking down at how their knees kept bumping into one another's. "Any pictures taken of me were snapped by someone else."

"So were both selfie virgins," he proclaimed, almost proudly.

Mikasa slid her eyes back up to his phone on the table for a while. "Now I'm kind of curious how we'd look in a selfie."

"No."

"Come on. It won't kill you."

"Did you miss the part where I swore a vow to  _kill myself_  if I took a selfie?"

She rolled her eyes back to his. "We'll do it together. We can't be selfie virgins forever, especially not in this day and age. We'll be singled out and mocked as unhip freaks."

"This is our first date, Mikasa. At least buy me a drink before taking my virginity."

"Fine, I'll buy you any drink you want  _after_."

"Is that the equivalent to giving money for a taxi after a one night stand? Times have changed, I see."

"No, more like I'm buying your services like a hooker."

"I feel dirty." First of all, someone with a deep, purring voice like his shouldn't be legally allowed to say that unless they're in a bedroom. Crossing his arms, Levi reclined back, and Mikasa couldn't stop her eyes from falling and tracing the indentations of his muscles jutting through the fabric of his shirt. "You really want me to take a picture with you?"

"I wanna do what?" She pried her eyes off his chest and met his pensive eyes, that were staring at her intently.

"Do you want me to take a picture with you?" he repeated.

Even though she felt nervous, she played it cool. "Yes, only because I need to make sure you're not a doppelgänger or something. If your face doesn't morph in any way, then I'll know for sure that you're the real Levi." She didn't even know who the real Levi was anymore because manlet Levi was sitting beside her looking hot and acting like online Levi yet he still was abrasive manlet Levi—with all this considered, now she was curious to see all sides to him.

Wearing a thin smile, Levi looked off to nothing particular.

"Is it weird to ask for a picture together?"

He nodded absolutely. "I'll be blunt, yes, incredibly weird. but—does this mean you forgive me?"

Averting her eyes down, she tugged on the cuff of her sweater sleeve, twisting a loose stain of yarn. Her voice ranged thinly above the point of mute. "It does, yes."

As if to finalized their success, Levi picked up his phone and they popped their selfie cherries together. If only past Mikasa knew that she would be taking a selfie with the manlet she loathed so much. Surely, even if he did know, she wouldn't believe it because not even present Mikasa believed it. The shutter sound went off and she reminded herself that no, she didn't take a selfie with that demon manlet. She took a selfie with Levi.

"Shit..." Levi looked at his phone as if someone just sent him a picture of the insides of a dead puppy.

"It's probably not that bad," she reached her neck over to see, and at this point there was no such thing as personal space anymore.

"Into the delete bin it goes."

"Let me  _see_  first," Mikasa quickly latched onto his wrist and tugged his arm over, granting herself a view of the screen and whatever disaster was displayed on it.

Expecting something else entirely, her eyes narrowed as she tried to comprehend what she was looking at. It certainly didn't look like any selfie she seen from others before. "This is kind of..."

"Creepy," Levi concluded.

"I hate to agree, but..." For one, they both had deadpan expressions and weren't smiling like one normally does for a photo. Their faces basked in gloomy gray light from the window and heavy shadows covered the other. Mikasa kind of looked like The Grudge lady with the way her eyes flared and neck coiled unnaturally into the camera, and Levi had disgustedly glowered at the phone the same way one might glare at a couple swapping tongues in public.

Realizing she had been holding his wrist for a while, Mikasa let go and used both hands to cover her face, her shoulders shaking. Mikasa usually looked decent in photo's others took of her—what the hell happened? Was Levi photogenically cursed? Does this curse effect anyone who dare took a picture with him?

All of these thoughts, of course, only made Mikasa's shoulders shake more. Soon her laughing subsided and she gathered her composure, barely, and ran her hands down her face, revealing a thin smile as she cornered her eyes on Levi.

"See, this is good. I'm not just laughing at you, I'm laughing at us."

"It's a step forward, I agree," putting his phone away, he scoffed incredulity. "I still can't believe you talked me into talking a  _selfi_ _e_. I feel so violated by your peer pressure. Your generation sure is a crafty bunch."

"It wasn't so bad." Mikasa fluttered her lashes around, noting that it starting raining harder, leaving the city drenched in a layer of puddles. The busy fruit bar also quieted down. "To tell you the truth, Levi, today wasn't so bad at all."

His eyes swept over, slowly meeting hers. "I didn't want to jinx it, but I was just thinking the same thing."

It was quiet for a while, and they just sat there together with their biceps and knees brushing as they stared at the empty seat across from them and the empty smoothie glass.

"Okay," Mikasa took a deep breath. "We can count it now."

Levi's eyes flickered in question, but soon his brows elevated as it dawned on him, but Mikasa was already in the midst of reminding him, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you made a good impression. I hope you're ready for nine-hundred and ninety-nine more."


	7. Post-Battle Warm Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is eating away at me again, but I'm not letting that stop me from writing, so worry not. The Christmasy chapter I have planned for the future unfortunately won't be updated around Christmas like I wanted, and here's why: It's simply not worth rushing the chapters leading up to it and cutting things out just to reach a pointless deadline. I already have very little time to write, proofread and edit as it is, so I don't want the quality to drop even more over something silly like a deadline. But let me leave you would some good news: we're diving right into the romance in the next chapter~!

Mikasa's interceding trial with Levi ended without any stabbing insults or bloodshed, surprisingly. The waged war ended, leaving them wounded, but mostly grateful for getting through it together. Levi was still an abnormal manlet with a sharp tongue, but they both spent the remainder of the early morning in peace, swapping idle chatter in the fruit bar until an hour had past.

The two freshly reconciled enemies then decided it was time to get on with their daily routines—together. Before conjoining their workout, they first split up, and blithely branched into the locker rooms to equip themselves in their workout gear.

Donned in her comfortable gym attire, Mikasa idled against the wall in the corridor, waiting for Levi to rejoin her. In the meantime, she preoccupied herself with watching the active class in the viewing window across the way.

A few moments later, Levi flung out of the men's locker room, wearing a ridiculously tight black crew-neck top and baggy gray sweatpants. Heading toward her with a rumbling groan, he groomed himself by brushing off invisible lint from his shoulder. "Those locker rooms are  _filthy_ , I bet the women's are cleaner."

Mikasa pushed herself off the wall, inserting her hands into the pouch of her gray hoodie as she followed at his side down the hall. "You can always wear a wig and a dress and enjoy the spotless sanctuary that is the women's locker room."

"Sacrificing my masculinity or cleanliness," he weight the pros and cons on his hands with a considering pout.

They emerged from the hall, and Mikasa scoped around the actively bustling gym before her eyes arrived on Levi. "Is this the part where we cut to a makeover montage?"

He tossed a chastened look up at her before resuming onward. "Unfortunately, I don't think I'd make a pretty woman, so we can both save ourselves from the trouble."

It's not that he wouldn't make a pretty woman, he'd just look like a very bitchy, black haired version of Christa. Mikasa simply waved a sneer at him and took the lead, with Levi straying close to her side.

Mikasa didn't know how it happened; how she went from talking to a faceless man on the internet, to hating his actual face, then walking beside him, set out on exercising together, while sharing japes and stealing glances down at the face that didn't seem as revolting anymore.

The past few days had been a strange ride: unexpected, sometimes nauseating, and most of all: thrilling. Now that Levi had stopped insulting her left and right, she couldn't help but to find his company refreshing, as refreshing as the company of a grumpy thirty year old manlet who bullies women could be. Indeed, Mikasa didn't know how it happened, but in a strange way, she was glad it did.

The two of them commenced in preparing their muscles with routine stretching on a clear patch of carpet by the wall of windows that stretched along the front of the gym, dying the space with a gloomy gray tint. Rain poured down harder now, the raindrops sounding like pellets being shot at the glass. Passerby's scurried pass the windows with coats and newspapers overhead in search of shelter.

By the time she resituated her attention back to Levi, she found that he had entered quite the limber pose. Mikasa had never worked out with someone before. Her friends, bless their lazy souls, were just not cut out for  _active_  hobbies. When her and Jean were dating, she tried to drag him along to the gym once, but although Jean was athletic he found working out on machines to be repetitive and boring, and later stuck with sports to get his exercise in. How her other friends managed to stay in decent shape without diet and exercise was a mystery, but whatever witchcraft they bestowed upon themselves didn't affect her. If she lived their lifestyles for even a week she would probably die of diabetes or heart problems by now. Damn them and their fast metabolism.

Being with Levi now, someone who she knew found daily gym attendance as important as eating and breathing was actually kind of exciting. All this time Mikasa invested in her hobbies and interest alone. Yesterday, and the day before, her and Levi were at each others throats, but today they're one another's gym partners. What an unexpected plot twist in her young life, but a favorable one that she certainly could get used to. Loving an interest was one thing, but sharing that interest with someone just as enthused must be twice as satisfying.

As she twisted and held her body flexibly, she inspected Levi doing more or less the same, twisting his torso with his indented muscular arms reaching back behind him. The fabric of that ridiculously tight crew-neck top had inched its way up, exposing a slip of his bare hip.

Mikasa ended up holding her pose longer than the usual 'five-seconds and release'—that distracting slip of skin that revealed itself for her curious eyes should be censored and banned from this gym for being a distracting hazard. It's like seeing a nip slip on TV. You don't want to look but you have to.

Levi was a small guy, okay, she got that, but does he really have to wear skin tight shirts intended for toddlers? Unless it was hard to find clothes that fit him properly? There's a Big and Tall department store, where's the Muscular and Short store? No doubt Levi would have a field day there, and maybe then Mikasa wouldn't become spellbound at the sight of his muscles, that appeared to be one flex away from shredding his tiny shirt by the seams. You could even see his jutting nipples. Yes, it's chilly in here, but turn your high-beams off.

With her eyes pinned to his chest, Levi ducked and entered her visual frame. "I know I'm short, but I'm not  _that_ short, let's not exaggerate," he stood fully and Mikasa's eyes followed him up, flushed from being caught. His lips resembled a firm line, but those slender eyes of his seemed to be smiling.

What was she suppose to say— _'Sorry, but your protruding nipples poking through your paper thin shirt stole my attention'_? "Sorry. I spaced out," she went down the vague road, deciding that saying  _nipple_  right now would be pretty undignified.

"Oh," he rocked back on his feet with a brooding brow. "You looked kind of angry."

So she was looking at his nipples  _angrily._  Fun fact. "Really, you're going to accuse  _me_  of looking angry?"

He huffed as he reached down to his toes, keeping his legs aligned and locked straight—and of course, Levi also had a nice ass to match his nice pecks and nice bicep muscles. Mikasa tried to get an ass like that for a long time—for herself. Not in a  _'_ _she perv_ _ertedly_ _hunted down a guy with an ass like that_ _'_  kind of way, but in a  _'_ _she_ _performed a daily ritual of near-endless_ _squats but still didn't have a perfect round booty like Levi's_ _'_  way.

"I don't know what you're trying to imply," he erected back up, displaying the dark overcast that covered his dull eyes and the wrinkling bridge between his brows that resembled a dry canyon. "I'm a happy ball of sunshine," he claimed monotonously.

"That's about as true as you saying you're a six-foot blond with brown eyes," she prodded into his arm as she passed him. Noticing all the weight machines were currently being used, (and knowing neither of them wanted another incident) they wordlessly decided on the treadmills and headed toward them.

"Must be opposite day," she rotated back to him to say. "Is that why we're getting along?"

"I'm afraid so," he dipped his head solemnly to break the bad news. "Tomorrow we'll go back to being mortal enemies. Civilians will fall victim to our battle when we blow up cities in the wake of our wrath."

Arriving at the treadmills, Mikasa hung her towel on the handle and stepped up on the platform, leaning her weight over the other bar as she watched Levi squat down and rummage around his tote bag. "That's too bad. I guess we're stuck being star-crossed forever."

As Levi dug through his bag, Mikasa expected him to fish out his handy dandy disinfectant wipes, but instead he whipped out a few towels, paper towels, a spray bottle filled with purple chemicals, and a bottle of hand sanitizer. Christ, it's such a small bag, where was all this coming from? She half expected him to pull a full sized mop out next.

"I don't know about you, but I always hated astronomy and if the stars hate me, so be it, but I say fuck the stars. Let's rebel against the curse they bestowed upon us and merge our powers; use them for good, not against one another."

Mikasa's face contorted in perplexed amusement as she watched him gather his horde of cleaning equipment into a neat pile. "You're either secretly a raging comic book nerd or you really like to hyperbolize."

"The latter." Apparently, he had a sponge somehow tucked in that little bag, too, which he currently used to scrub the frame of the machine. "Didn't you see that I detest those kind of obsessive nerds on my dislike list?"

"I must have stopped retaining some information after I hit the 5K mark," she said in an airy voice, as if sighing her way through the sentence. He also hated astronomy, apparently. He'd probably hate their semi-true horoscope as well. Really though, was there anything this guy did like? And more importantly, why did he bring half of his bottom sink with him to the gym? Did he come here to clean or workout? He seemed more equipped for the former. Then it hit her. Levi hated many things, but he liked cleaning. What an abnormal man.

A mist traveled into her face when he spritzed out more of that toxic-smelling purple spray. The chemicals stung in her swelling throat. This cleaning idiosyncrasy of his will either turn into the most annoying or endearing quirk about him. It was too soon to tell which.

She coughed a little in her fist. "What happened to the disinfectant wipes? Isn't that a little more portable?"

"Unfortunately, I ran out," he explained, actually sounding kind of depressed. "Two-hundred sheets just isn't enough. It doesn't even last me half a week."

About whether or not his cleaning quirk will be annoying or endearing, Mikasa placed an early bet on annoying.

"You're basically the janitor here, but you're doing it for free—you oughta be paid."

"Quiet," he looked up from his scrubbing to flash her a nod. "You could start without me, if you're so keen on not cleaning the sweat and drool on your machine," he shuddered, as if the thought granted him physical pain.

"Why thank you, Lord Janitor, I would've stood here all day without will of my own if you hadn't commanded me." Mikasa rolled her eyes to the controls and started off on a snail slow walk.

While growing bored of the sight of Levi giving his treadmill a bath, Mikasa relocated her gaze, letting her sight stretch out across the cluttered gym. In the far distance, by the staff counter, she spotted the distinct figures of Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie, who of which seemed to be having a pleasant conversation—until Annie kicked Reiner in the shin, and Mikasa flinched, almost feeling the hit, and the girl went on her merry way.

Without looking away from the shameful sight of Reiner limping with Bertholdt as his crutch, Mikasa inquired Levi, "You graduated from Annie's Krav Maga class, right? How was it?"

"Brutal. Left me soar and aching, but it was well worth it. Did you sign up yet?"

She shook her head. "I plan to, I already met Annie, but I suppose all the drama with  _you_  had to be settled first."

"Excuses, excuses—look at this," he beckoned her with a thick voice, holding his hand up. "This is why you need to clean down the equipment."

Mikasa didn't have the heart to tell him that he was a dumbass, that the paper towel he held out to her only showed a difference in color because the moister of the product had made it translucent and was only showing the hue of his skin, making it appear dirty.

"You sure showed those germs. What a brave soul."

"Damn right I did," he took on an erect stance, actually looking like a proud conqueror.

Obvious to anyone beside Levi apparently, Mikasa was in fact mocking him, but seeing as he took it as a compliment, she'll let him have the metaphorical honorary Badge of Cleaning because now she felt bad for teasing.

Mikasa later noted, in bold mental print, that if Levi ever gave her a head start in running during any time in the future, she must take it and run, because once Levi had boarded the platform and turned on the treadmill, he did not stop. The only difference in his speed was that the hammering sound of his pace knocked louder and more frequent as he boosted up the acceleration  _higher_.

Mikasa nearly wore in the soles of her sneakers trying to keep up with his spry pace. Beads of sweat dripped into her brow after only a few minutes, and it seemed it drained all her vitality trying too keep up with him. Breathless and flush, she tromped with all she had, and managed well, but Mikasa's eyes bugged in disbelief when she spotted Levi turning up his speed once again, casually, as if turning up the dial of a heater. Being the competitive spirit she was, of course Mikasa matched his speed, and even one upped him until he peeked over, saw her speed, and boosted up his own. Recalling how awful of a driver he was, Mikasa figured he must not have a limit on speed restrictions on the road either.

Running side by side, the heat turned up in their bodies, so much so that Mikasa's hoodie felt like the walls of an oven, and roasting as she were, she pulled the bottom hem of her top and lifted it up over her head, tossing it over the handle. Feeling that she could breathe better now, she relished in the feeling of the cool air fanning against her damp body, but the relief didn't last long, because not only was there cool air touching her skin, but sharp eyes as well.

She jarred her attention to Levi, who bounced his eyes up to her a moment too slow—he had been glancing at her, well, her from the neck down, and returned to doing just that even while under her surveillance.

"What?" she wheezed, unable to figure out why he would continue staring at her even after being caught. Even she's not that dense.

"I see you do wear a binder," a measured look occupied his face, giving away the fact that he scrambled for a half-assed reason to excuse his stare.

"Why would I lie about that? Why are you so interested in my chest, anyway?" Mikasa realized, too late, that she sounded pretty stupid. Asking a man why he liked a woman's chest was like asking a fish why it enjoyed swimming.

"I'm interested in many things, Mikasa, and over the course of the past week I came to the conclusion that you and I have many things in common," with that, Levi reached back by his nape and yanked his collar over his head, exposing the entirety that was his sculpted, damp and flexing torso.

When his head was freed from the shirt, he threw her a gaze, a self-satisfied gaze. But Mikasa only paid mind to that irksome expression for a moment before her eyes fell, and her body nearly fell with her. It was then, while shamefully locking her eyes on the way his muscles flexed while he ran, that Mikasa almost lost her footing, but luckily she sturdied herself with a desperate grasp on the side rail before the treadmill sent her flying into the mirrored wall behind her.

Now that her breath was quite literally taken away, Mikasa had to dishonorably slow down her speed while she collected herself.  _What a cheater,_  she thought.

Much like herself, no one could determine Levi 's true body type until his clothes were off. At first glance he looked pretty frail and thin, but based on those pecks and abs that captivated her gaze once more, it's safe to assume that he's been working on his muscles for many years and had an impressive trophy of a body to show off his hard work.

Trying to recover from the near-perfect body presented to her, Mikasa, while now truly trying to keep her eyes on his, decided to commend him. "You're really fast—I always thought no one would ever outrun me."

Levi turned down his speed, too, a little lower than hers as if expressing modesty, but quite the contrary came from his lips. "No one could out run me," he claimed absolutely, "I used to run much faster years ago, before I fucked my leg up back in the army."

"Hold on, let me wrap my head around this," she caught quick breaths between her words, "you're saying you used to run faster than the speed of light?" There was a scratchy laugh in her words. That was hard to believe. "Where you ever experimented on at any point of your life?"

"It would explain a lot of defects, but no, I don't think so," he shifted his eyes around retrospectively. "Unless I'm being programmed what to think. In that case, _they_  don't think I've been experimented on."

Sometime later, the fresh gym partners turned their machines down a few notches to a brisk jog to cool down and decrease their heartbeat, then merged into a slow crawl where their feet soon stopped entirely. Mikasa's calves burned and pulsated, and when she skipped off the platform the change in speed certainly made her unsteady; it felt as if the earth was moving and she was standing still.

Levi grabbed himself a towel to swipe the sweat from his brow, and without much prior warning, he tossed a spare one back to her. Unlike before, she caught midair before it whipped her in the face. Over his shoulder, she caught the flash of a smile before it was covered when he wrapped the towel around his neck.

Mikasa tied her hoodie around her waist with the sleeves and left the treadmills behind. Throbbing and sore and grumbling complaints to herself, Mikasa legs burned more as she followed behind Levi, who seemed to be strolling leisurely without a pinch of pain. They loped over to the water fountains, which had been fixed seeing that Levi had no trouble with filling a cup. A cup of cold water passed to her, but before she could grab it and indulge on the cool refreshment, Levi pulled it away and pointed a scolding finger at her, and she knew exactly why.

"Don't pour it on me this time," he warned with a playful snarl.

"No promises," she stole the cup from his hand and upended it. The cool water slipped down her pulsing throat, eliminating the dry infestation.

She tapped the sides of the cup as she entered a sudden reverie. It was funny—before, she stood in this very same spot with Levi and hated his guts and wished she never had the displeasure of see him again. The man she hated now stood before her panting through his fluctuating pecks, and he didn't look as repulsive as he did before. Quite the contrary—she watched a bead of sweat race down his abs—quite the contrary indeed.

Withdrawing her gaze again, Mikasa had made it a conscious effort not to look at Levi's shirtless body.  _Resist the temptation_. Look at the sweaty fat guy who rewarded himself with a granola bar after one sit up rep. Keep looking at him and do not, under any circumstances, look at Levi's chiseled abs and that prominent V carved into his waist.

"Mikasa?"

Her eyes landed straight to his chest. "Pecks— _yes?_ "

Before speaking, he tightened his lip and beckoned her over to a nearby bench with a light press on her back. When they sat, he finally spoke. "I really am sorry for the things I said," his usual flat tune changed, making him sound distraught suddenly. "I know apologies don't mean shit but you need to understand I never apologize, simply because I'm never sorry for my actions, but I honestly do regret everything I said to you."

"Levi..." she outlined the rim of the cup with a tip of her finger, not brave enough to look him in the eye. "It's really okay. I won't lie, I'm still hurt, but I wouldn't be here right now if I thought you were still that same nasty man," she spoke in a soft utter, and even with the lively gym ambiance she felt her whisper could be heard for miles. "We got to know each other a lot in the past week and I don't want one incident to define us when we already had plenty of other things going for us—if that makes sense."

"It does," he bobbed his head, straying his view off her. "I just didn't know if you saw it the same way as me—but apparently you do. That saves me the trouble of apologizing as much as I originally planned."

They sat in silence for a while, just people watching—or in this case, watching the fat guy eat a bag of potato chips on his weight bench after he lifted twenty-five pounds three times, a new record.

"That man that was here with you before, the tall one," he had suddenly popped in Mikasa's mind, and she thought it would bring up conversation. "He's a friend of yours, right? He seems nice. Then again, anyone compared to you was nice."

"Yeah, that's Erwin. We go way back. We met in the service, but now he's my editor."

"That editor? The one you complain about?"

He nodded. "He seems friendly when he's off the clock, but when he's in work-mode there's no stopping him—he's like a monster that feeds off of manuscripts." Levi went to upended his cup of water, and in doing so, he seemed to almost paralyze stoically. Continuing to think after his drink, his cheeks retained the water before forcing down the painful looking gulp. But this thoughtful look was just the calm before the storm, because a second later, Levi erupted.

"That  _fucking_  asshole. I'm going to murder him."

"...Huh?"  _Where did that come from?_  Mikasa wondered. It's as if he switched personalities. Oh no, was asshole manlet Levi coming back? Just when they were getting along. Maybe the persona was triggered after he got his heart rate up.

Levi swiveled his attention to her direly, as if readying to ask her something that meant the difference between life and death (and apparently it did). "You saw Erwin in your work the day before, right?"

She looked up in recall, feeling interrogated all of a sudden. "Oh, right. Yes, he got a coffee. I almost forgot about that. Why do you ask?"

Levi blinked on her dumbly, then bared his teeth with a growl. "Now I get the surprise he was talking about." The paper cup squeezed in his grasp, his knuckles turning white. "He's fucking dead. He doesn't even know how dead he is. I'll have to put out a want ad for a new editor because he's dead."

Mikasa simply blinked at him with a slack expression as he conspired the murder of his editor beside her. She cleared her throat to snap him from his rambling trance. "May I ask why you're mumbling like a lunatic?"

"He knew the girl I spoke to online worked there," he started to explain to her, but simply gave up, too bothered to go on. "—Forget it, " but apparently, he couldn't forget it. "That sneaky mother fucker," he echoed into his cup before taking another sip.

"I don't get it, why are you mad at him? All he did was come into my work after the incident between us—oh." Talking it out just revealed the answer. "  _Oh_ ," she repeated, fulling understanding the graveness.

"Yes, fucking- _oh._ He knew who you were and didn't even warn me."

Now that she recalled that day, Erwin was acting strange, saying things like they would get along if they met under different circumstances.

As shocking as the betrayal of a friend could be, Mikasa grew tired of his incoherent mumbling about murder, so she decided to steer the conversation back to them—steer them right into a topic that will surely take Levi's mind off homicide.

Here, she remembered what she told Eren the morning of their not-so-blind date: when her and Levi warmed up to each other and the awkwardness diluted, she would tell him.

"Speaking of that day," Mikasa boldly scooted in an inch closer, quickly noting how Levi crossed his legs. Being shirtless in sweatpants didn't really flatter that pose at all. She let a little more suspense drag on as he looked at her, waiting. "Thanks for scratching up my car."

As Levi processed the news, his face buffered to load an expression. Then, every doubtful facial cue lagged across his face until the panic evaded subtly, then exploded in his features. His eyes flared knowingly and the questions went off in his racing mind. Mikasa could almost hear all the clamoring panic. She simple nodded to all the quiet thoughts.

"...No." The words crept out cautiously, his lips left parted.

She nodded definitely.

" _No,_ " he turned up the volume of his voice.

"Yes," she insisted at a volume a notch higher. "Purple PT Cruiser? Yes, it's mine and yes, you not only mentally abused me, but you physically assaulted my car. How do you feel about yourself?"

". . . . . ." The sarcastically abrasive smartass actually had no words. He simply contemplated the mental mess as he stared at his lap for a while, thinking it over for a few long seconds. "...I can't believe that was _your_  car. Yours. Out of the hundreds of cars parked in there, I fuck up  _yours_."

"Seems kind of far-fetched—almost as far-fetched as unknowingly fighting with someone you spoke to on an online dating website."

A sound of irony uttered in his throat. "We really are cursed. I guess you put two and two together from my phone number. Bravo, detective Mikasa, you made me look like an even shittier person."

"Hey, I'm only listing off your crimes. You have only yourself to blame."

"I'll pay for the damaged," he offered meekly. "I can recommend some places that would do the repairs, too."

"Don't worry about it," she shrugged as if passing on an unfavorable offer.

"...I  _will_ worried about it," he squinted at her strangely. "We might be getting along now, but I still need to make it up to you with funds, or a penalty."

She crossed her arms over her chest slyly, a smile hidden under the tight line of a mouth. "Neither. You will make it up to me in another way."

"How?"

"Well, let's tally up all the damage first," she leaned back against the cool brick and listed on her fingers. "You owe me for bullying me, and you owe me for the car, and you still owe me nine-hundred and ninety-nine good impressions," she fanned out both hands, but realized she did not have one-thousand and one fingers to count his debt.

"I racked up quite an outstanding debt with you."

"In a small amount of time, might I add. It inconvenienced he grandly," she feigned primness. "What do you think will compensate for this mess you made?"

"I already apologized, and you refused to let me pay for the damage on the car, and I still have a long way until I could reimburse you for our shitty first impression..."

"Excuses excuses—I hope you don't plan on levanting."

"I'd never. I'll pay you back for all my wrong doings."

"I did some wrong, too," she admitted docilely. "How would you like to be paid back?"

"Thanks to you agreeing to endure one-thousand impressions with me, I get to spend time with you, and that's plenty of payment for me."

She turned her head aside shyly, tucking her lip to stop herself from stuttering out something diffident and also to restrain her lips from grinning. Maybe he was good with words, after all, or she's allowing this abrasive man to sweep her off her feet far too easily.

"That gives me an idea," Levi braced himself with a quick breath. "How about you let me take you out somewhere nice. That way I can prove to you that I'm not a total asshole, that I'm trustworthy so you'll know I won't levant, and it'll count toward paying that massive impression debt."

Her eyes sealed shut and she rubbed her lips together anxiously. "...Are you suggesting we should go out on a date?"

"In a roundabout way, yes." She opened her eyes in time to see him flicking his foot off the floor nervously. "Just a warning, I'm extremely out of practice with dating. If you agree, it's just going to be very simple."

She lowered her gaze after he said that, feeling slightly guilty. She accused him of never landing a date with a girl because of his faults, but apparently he does have lady troubles—not that it's surprising, but it's never a fun thing to have pointed out. Mikasa herself only had one near-serious relationship and she certainly wouldn't want her weaknesses in the dating world to be pointed out. "I like simple," then she smiled a little. "Which day is good for you?"

"How's your schedule looking for Saturday night?"

Her shoulders slumped, and she shook her head at him and broke the news. "Sorry, I don't think I could. I actually have a date with a grumpy shorty that night," she rebuffed, disappointed.

"That so? He sounds like a total jackass," he played along.

"He is. Can you believe he called me a bimbo and accused me of skanking around with the whole fraternity house?"

"The nerve. A guy like him is lucky to go on a date with such a beautiful girl."

Mikasa broke character from the silly exchange there. This was the Levi she knew. The one she had been talking to every night. The friendly (okay, pungently playful) exchanges between them helped her remember why she began to like him even before seeing him in person. Who knew, manlet Levi wasn't so bad after all, and her doubts from before were wrong, for manlet Levi could make her heart flutter.

**~x~**

_That went better than_ _expected_ , Levi thought as he entered the grimy men's locker room. Of course he was referring to his time spent with Mikasa today, and how well they hit it off. At best, with a dose of undeserved luck, he expected her to accept his apologies and have their relationship improve excruciatingly slow over time, but they effortlessly climbed out of the mess together with only minimum scars remaining.

Stripping out of his shirt and sweatpants, Levi stuffed them into his bag and just as he inserted his thumbs into the waist band of his boxers with the intention of sliding them pass his hips, he was rudely interrupted by a shrill that nearly sliced his eardrum. Recognizing the voice immediately, Levi visibly clenched up his muscles.

"I see London, I see France~!"

"I see your funeral," he spun around, witnessing the ever so unexpected entrance of Hanji Zoë, who trampled into the locker room as if it were a runway with their adoring fans around, but those fans surrounding the eccentric fool only tossed around strange glances to one another. All Hanji did was wave in passing with a big grin before stepping up to Levi. "I knew I'd see you here today."

"Don't you have a class to teach?"

"My class was..." Hanji cleared their throat, shifting their eyes to the side, "canceled today."

"You blew something up or violated a heath code again, didn't you."

Hanji took an offended breath, as if preparing to counteract with a disputing argument, but simply said, "It was only a mild explosion. I nearly blew this blond kid's eyebrows off, awh man, it was—!" Hanji stopped themselves from smirking and pushed up their glasses gravely, "—horrible. My students could've gotten hurt," they faked sympathy. Prof. Zoë did dearly love their students, but experimenting came first and if those brats were stupid enough to take their class, then Levi supposed they deserved not having eyebrows or eyelashes.

After tossing aside the bag they were carrying onto the nearby bench, Hanji ripped out the scrunchy securing their knotty hair in place and shook the stiffness from it like a wet dog. From being tied up so long, the voluminous hair fell around their face like an untamed lions mane, they then began to strip down, unraveling themselves from their shirt and stepping out of their pants. By this point, most of the fellow men began to panic and scramble at the sight, fumbling over each other as they darted in the same escape route. Not understanding Hanji's gender preference, all the men saw were  _boobs_  in a  _no-boob_  zone.

Levi watched the rest of the men scamper out the door. "Shouldn't you be in the locker room next door?"

"I'm genderfluid, meaning I can go wherever the damn well I please," they reminded him as they paced confidently, as if giving a lecture in front of their class. "Today, I'm feeling particularly masculine, tomorrow, who knows," they declared and removed the rest of their clothing, and Levi sincerely hoped they didn't do  _that_ at the front of their class.

Hanji now stood stark naked before Levi, who didn't even bat a lash at the redundant sight. Taking off their glasses, Hanji set them near the soap tray when they both moved their conversation to the communal showers, where Levi finally relieved himself of all his clothes. Levi held no shame being in the nude in front of Hanji. They seen all of him plenty of times during their army days. If anything, it was like two young siblings taking a bath together.

Not that Levi particularly had anything to be ashamed about. At least, he's used to being ogled by men in the shower room, so that must be a good sign that he's not  _completely_  repulsive—but that's about all that ever checked him out: Men. Girls very rarely give him a second glance. Mikasa had been so painfully right on the money in that respect. Most girls desired to be with some tall and mature man that physically matched their age, were responsible and not triggered by tiny messes—anyway, he always wished the attention he attracted from men could be transferred to women. Most men liked him because he physically possessed the best of both worlds; he had frame of a twink but the density of a daddy type (which was the embodiment of a wet dream to most gay men). Most girls, including Mikasa, however, call this type of man the cringe-worthy term: _manlet_. Passing cackling teenagers are fast to call him a sad pathetic excuse of a man, despite being capable of holding the weight of a group of cheerleader's in one arm. Life was unfair for a man robbed of height.

"I'm glad we ran into each other," Hanji started, but Levi wasn't fooled that easily.

"Cut the crap, you came in here with the sole purpose of annoying me."

"Mmm no. I have a different agenda today. I want to know about the girl."

"How would that not anno—" his tongue paused on the root of hos mouth, brooding up at Hanji. "...How do you know about her? I only told Erwin." And Isabel and Farlan, but they very rarely hung around Hanji, lucky bastards.

Hanji took a deep breath, looking skywards at the bright fluorescent lights shining down on their naked-selves, and readied their fingers to list off, "Erwin told Mike and then Mike told his girlfriend Nanaba  _and_ Nile and then he told a bunch of people, then Nanaba told some people in her yoga class and Moblit and then he told me." A smirk bounced up with a little pleased hum and Levi's mind boggled at the domino effect of gossip.

"By the way," Hanji added, "Erwin had entered worried-mom-that-didn't-receive-a text-from-rebellious-teenage-son mode. Remember to check in with him so he doesn't loose anymore of that glorious gold hair of his."

Erwin and his big fucking mouth. Anything he said spread like wildfire, or rather, anything Levi told him spread like wildfire. He'll check in with him, alright, and give him a piece of his mind and rip his hair out manually. "Is there anyone who  _doesn't_  know?"

"Well..." A finger tapped against their lips as the other rotated the faucet handle, and out poured a cascade of steamed water. "My assistant didn't know, but I told him on the way here."

"I don't even  _know_  your assistant." Yet apparently, the guy knew the spreading gossip about him and Mikasa.

"So, what's the deal with this girl? Did you meet yet?"

Balancing his palms on the tile, Levi submerged his head under the stream of water, trying to block out those pesky noises they called words. "Can we not talk about this right now?"

Hanji snickered. "Why, because you're naked and you won't be able to hide your raging boner if you talk about her?" Hanji pointed with their eyes down at his shaft.

"Stop staring at my flaccid dick," he warned with a voice equally flaccid.

"Sorry, it's kind of just  _there_  and I thought it was a good time to check its status," balancing their weight on their knees, Hanji took a closer look. "It's looking good, a but unused and lonely, but good."

Levi grabbed a fistful of their greasy hair and pulled them back up. "You're lucky I'm not feeling creative enough to figure out how to kill you with a bar of soap." Trying to calm himself, Levi worked up a lather on his body with soap, scrubbing away the sweat accumulation. "What are you really doing here? I can never get your lazy ass to the gym."

"Since I have an unexpected free day, Moblit and I are meeting up to go swimming in the indoor pool downstairs. We just have to wash off before jumping in." Levi gave them a doubting look here, because to Hanji, swimming in a pool counted as a bath. Noting his quizzical glare, Hanji clarified, "The swim coach is making everyone rinse off first or else they're not allowed to hop in the pool. He's so meticulous—in other words, so much like you it's spooky."

Levi nodded, understanding where Hanji was coming from now. He had never taken advantage of the aquatic recreations on the basement floor, but he did met coach Oluo on a few occasions and during every encounter, Levi couldn't help but feel he was looking back at an exaggerated (and annoying) version of himself.

"I take it this is your first shower of the winter?" Levi asked.

"No, but it might be my last."

"Gross," Levi cringed as he slicked his wet hair back. They were joking (at least Levi hoped) but Hanji really did have the worse hygiene on the planet and their manners were all around disgusting. How Levi and Hanji even tolerated sharing the same planet with one another stole a spot as the  _eighth_  mystery of the world.

Hanji prissily propped a hand on their bare hip. "Are you going to tell me about this chick or not?" They pestered once more, scrubbing the nest they called hair.

"There's nothing to tell." Knowing they wouldn't be satisfied with that, Levi relented. "I met her, yes. We had some ups and down in the past few days, but I think that's behind us now. We worked out together today and things seem to be going well between us."

Hanji gasped, and Levi soon found out why. "Is she still here?"

By this time, he didn't know where they were going with the innocent inquiry, so he simply answered. "Yes, she's in the locker room next door."

It was then Hanji dashed from the communal showers and struggled into their bathing suit—which was a one piece female bathing suit with men's trunks. It's as awful looking as it sounds. Not only do the patterns not match, with the trunks having flower print and the suit having strips, but Hanji was normally always eccentric with their fashion, meaning Levi had to look at these random combination of garments that appeared to be arranged by Lady Gaga. Hanji liked both men and female clothing and always tried to match them together, which was understandable given their gender identity and this could very well work if you're a sane individual with good taste, but if you're Hanji you're not sane. You're probably not even human and your mission on this planet was to drive your best friend crazy and force him to witness you wear suits with a tie and a pink pencil skirt or whatever the fuck that bathing suit concoction was.

Turning the water off, Levi carefully watched Hanji from the foggy glass that separated the showers from the lockers. "Where are you going?"

Hanji paused mid-step before seemingly sprinting for the door, "Next door...to the female locker room..." they mumbled, looking down, unable to look Levi in the eye even after he departed from the shower—then again, Hanji did like to look at his penis.

"I thought you said you identified with a male identity today," Levi reminded them with a scowl.

"I had a change of heart—or hormones. Whatever. Bye," they then pushed themselves out the door, leaving Levi alone in the filthy men's room.

He wasn't alone long, though. By the time he redressed in casual attire, Hanji came rushing back in, scaring off a half-nude man that had come in during their absence.

"You know I respect your gender preference wholeheartedly," he said as he folded up his dirty clothes, "but I think you're abusing your power of being multiple sexes."

"This is the last time. I had to tell you something. You're going g to be  _sooo_  mad at me," Hanji bellowed and sprang in their spot like they had a weird tic.

"When am I not mad at you?" he sighed, finally heeding them. "What is it now?"

Hanji bent down to his level, close to his ear. "I saw her boobies~" Hanji sung in a whisper.

Levi flinched back—for one, he didn't even know how to filter that and needed space, and two, Hanji and Levi have an unofficial restraining order that stated they must retain at least a foot of distance from him at all times. "...How do you know it was her?" Surely there had to be a handful of other girls in there and he highly doubted Hanji was luckily enough to meet the right girl by chance.

"Let's just say her name was passed down from Erwin, so here's how it went," they poised themselves excitedly, flourishing their arms around as if telling a grand story. "I went in there, yelled  _"_ _M_ _ikasa!"_  and a cute chick hollered back  _"it_ _'_ _s mi-ka-sa"_  and confusingly asked  _"can I help you?"_  She's adorable, Levi. I love her."

Levi winced with a grunt, feeling embarrassed on Hanji's behalf since they're incapable of feeling that emotion.

"And before you ask, all I said back was that I was a friend of Levi's, and she recognized me because her friend takes one of my classes. That's about all we talked about—they're really nice, by the way."

"She goes by female pronouns," he corrected.

"I know, I mean _they're_  nice, as in her jugs," they cupped the air by their chest, as if trying to grope themselves. "That girl is well-endowed, if you catch my drift. Those twins are so perky and bounce with a buoyancy I've never seen before in all my years of studying science—I think they might go against physics, and don't even get me started on her nip—"

Forbidding the word nipple to be causally called out, Levi clasped a hand over their mouth. "You'll have to stop right there."

Hanji gave a muffled giggle and brushed away his hand. "Lucky for you, your jeans are loose."

"What do you think, I'm twelve? It's gonna take more than imagining tits to get me up."

"So you  _were_  trying to imagine her boobies," they said with a coy wiggled to their brows, and Levi groaned miserably as he fetched his belonging before heading out.

"I truly hope you drown in that giant toilet they call a recreational swimming pool."

**~x~**

Erwin will probably file a missing persons report soon, Levi considered as he sat idle in traffic. Maybe he should give him a message. Not that he particularly wanted to speak to that betraying bozo. Even though Levi previously promised to keep Erwin in the loop about his blind date with Mikasa, he had yet to update him. Yesterday he was too depressed to talk, and today, he was actually quite peeved at his editor for not warning him about Mikasa, and also for blabbing his business to everyone in Sina City like a proud mom boasting about their kids report card. Looking back, that strange call that took place in his laundry room didn't seem so strange anymore. Just as Levi suspected, Erwin's little pep talk of the past had meaning underlining it; it was a nice, roundabout gesture, but he had a bone to pick with him now that all the issues have been solved. Yes, he was mad at Erwin, but Levi was particularly talkative when he was angry, take Mikasa as his witness.

Trapped between a taxi blaring some strange, off-key foreign pop song and a van that wouldn't stop honking the horn behind him, Levi grid his teeth and displaced his attention off the rising road rage and instead directed his rage to his phone.

Thumbing through his contacts, he tried to locate Erwin's number. You'd think he'd be able to find it blindfolded after all the years of texting and calling him, but the contact name actually changed based on Levi's mood—and the names were always some half-assed alliteration. Today, it was marked as 'Editor Eyebrows'. A few weeks ago, when Erwin was haggling him for his work, ringing him endlessly, and yelling at Levi when he accidentally answered, the contact name had been 'Commander Cuntface'.

Feeling a change of mood now, he changed it once again to 'Blond Bastard' before texting him.

The light turned green and traffic unclogged and started to flow again, meaning Levi had to return his eyes to the road and off his text thread. He decided to call Erwin because he still had a bone to pick with him. Erwin didn't even have time to say hello, Levi just finished where he left off.

"You could've at least warned me."

"I'm sorry, I don't actually find it funny—well," he giggled. "To an extent I do, because you were very hard on her and I think that was a fair slice of karma. Maybe you'll think twice before fighting with someone. Honestly though, I'm sorry it didn't work out. I know you really liked her but you'll find someone who could put up with you. Eventually."

Levi tsked into the phone. "For your information, you shitty know it all, we already patched things up. We have a date this Saturday."

The line was silent for a long time. Erwin...speechless? More silence came because Levi wanted to enjoyed that rare moment for a while. "We're still a little iffy about the whole thing," he continued. "Well, her more than me. If anything, I like her more for being tough and sticking up for herself. I suspect she still needs some convincing, though, but miraculously enough she's giving me the opportunity to make it up to her."

"I'm shocked, honestly," he really was, too, and Levi loved the sound of it. "I didn't predict that outcome. Looks like you did find a girl who could put up with you."

"Maybe. I just hope I don't fuck up again."

"You can start by not being an asshole," Erwin suggested.

"For fucks sakes, I'm trying to come up with a practicable solution, Erwin." Levi merged into the next lane without signaling, giving the bird to the honking truck he cut off. "Hopefully, after some dining and a movie she'll see I'm not a  _total_ cold hearted bastard."

"That is such an old fashion idea for a date," he giggled again, and Levi sincerely wished he'd choke on it already. "But then again, the last time you had a girlfriend those kind of dates were in style."

"If it isn't broken don't fix it, shut up," he groaned. "I don't want to scare her off by doing something too extravagant. I want to keep her comfortable."

"True. Good thinking. Where do you plan to wine and dine her?"

"I had Isabel and Farlan's joint in mind."

". . . . . ."

That was the type of silence that Levi didn't like to hear from Erwin.

At yet another red light, Levi followed the windshield wipers and listened to the occasional rumble of thunder, that and the squeaky glide against the glass that held the record for the only ongoing sound as Erwin kept quiet on the other end.

"Spit it out," Levi urged. "I know you're fucking dying to nit-pick at that, too."

"No, it's fine..." Not according to that lying tone. "It's just... _the area_."

Levi scudded up defensively in his seat. "What about it?"

"Levi... The last time I visited that dive my hubcaps were stolen."

"It'll be fine—and don't call it a  _dive_ , those guys worked hard bringing that place together."

"I know, I know," Erwin tried to turn the mood around with yet another irritating giggle. "Let's hope Mikasa knows how to duck bullets."

"You're exaggeration. Oh, and it's Mi-ka-sa, I've been saying it wrong this whole time."

That giggle turned into a deep uproarious laugh that just wouldn't quit. "You must have been  _very_  embarrassed when she corrected that—man, that's awkward. You're awkward—the whole situation is just so  _awkward_."

"Really? You're going to call me awkward? You're a single man obsessed with QVC."

"That reminds me," he didn't even take offense, probably because his QVC-fanboy side saw it as some honorary title. "I bought you a knife set for your birthday, it should come in the mail soon."

Idiot bought the necessary tools needed for his murder, which was drawing near if he kept mocking Levi. Erwin did this constantly; he's always buying shit from those home shopping networks, and the shopaholic tendencies increased moreso around holiday's and special occasions.

"At least you're slightly creative with your gift ideas. Hanji always gives me a Barns and Nobles gift card, Mike and Nanaba always gives me Starbucks one every year."

"And you always give the Starbucks to me in exchange for cash like the greedy man you are."

"I'm not that greedy," Levi claimed. "I just don't like their weird-ass coffee. If I were greedy, I'd be like Scrooge and make you work through the holiday."

"Actually, you're so far behind in your work that I have to work  _regardless_  of the fact that you gave me the week of Christmas off—speaking of which, you're heading home now, right? I need to see how far you've come in your current editorial."

"No need to trouble yourself and come over, I'll tell you now: I didn't get far at all. And don't bother coming over to babysit me. I'm won't be there."

"Levi, I need that manuscript soon or else—" Levi ended the call just as he pulled into a parking spot on the side of a building, but that building looked more like an old factory, but that factory's basement was actually a well-established restaurant on the outskirts of Sina City, one he frequented in often. Not because he enjoyed the rowdy crowds that loitered the place at night or the loud music or the watered down beer. There was only one reason in particular that he had become fond of this place.

"Isabel! You're suppose to  _cook_  the food not  _eat_  the food!" was what Levi heard as soon as he pushed open the door of the club. He stood dormant by the host podium as he watched the scene.

A little redhead sporting messy pigtails popped her head out the call window with a mouthful of fries that obviously didn't belong between her lips."Awh c'mon, Farlan~" she whined as she chewed. "It's slow in the day anyway, someone's gotta eat this food up," she swallowed sadly.

The bossy blond gave up his yelling to prop his hand on his hip and shake his head, but when Isabel eyes found Levi standing in the entrance, her face beamed with delight. "Big bro!"

Thanks to Isabel's announcement, Farlan noticed Levi then and turned to him with a wave. Isabel, however, disappeared from the kitchen window. After a loud orchestra of pots and pans clattering together and falling, she pushed out of the kitchen's double doors and entered a run, charging toward Levi with a squeal rumbling in her throat. Finally, she leaped right into him and squeezed her arms around him.

The girl was only a few years younger than Levi, believe it or not, but she's a child at heart, and always will be. A true young sport. She still behaved the same way she did when they were all kids.

Levi returned the affection with a silent ruffle on her head, and Farlan walked over and joined them with a smile. "Nice of you to stop by."

Levi made it a habit to stop by at least once a week, no matter how busy he was because these two, as much as they don't share any blood (or anything in common, for that matter) they were the only family he had.

Farlan was about to say something more, but being the only responsible wolf in their pack, he detached himself from the reunion to point at a discreetly feeding brunette, like a sly lion feeding on an antelope in the dead of night.

"Sasha!" he roared to the other end of the room. "Just because a customer leaves food on their plate doesn't mean you're invited to eat it."

"But they didn't leave me a tip," the waitress tried to make light of it by explaining that eating their leftovers was a form of compensation, but when Farlan folded his arms sternly, she quickly shut up and apologized with an innocent smile. As soon as Farlan turned back to his foster siblings with a sigh, Levi spotted the girl stuffing the leftover food in her mouth before scurrying off with the dirty dishes.

"New hire?" Levi presumed.

"Yeah." Farlan replied, sounding exhausted. "She's no different than this pig," he bumped into Isabel and she stuck her tongue out at him. "Actually, Sasha's a good worker, she's really good with customers and she an expert on food and knows the menu inside and out. Not to mention she makes miracles happen on the nights we're understaffed, but in turn she eats half of my food supplies."

"How do you know it's her? Maybe we've just had more customers," Isabel stuck up for the waitress, and Levi could already tell the two of had become quick friends.

"Because I would be seeing more  _profits_ , moron. I'm losing money. But I guess that's the price you must play for decent help these days. Anyway, take a seat," he motioned a hand over to the nearest table to Levi. "I have some quick business to do in the back," he turned his eyes to Isabel strictly, "and you still have to cook table nineteen's order."

Isabel lazily sagged over, snarling at the sole customer in the dining area. This place was always quite dead in the daytime, but changed completely come nightfall. Even the exterior looked completely redecorated once the sun retired and the neon lights turned on and the music turned up. "That guy wouldn't even know if I gave him his meal, he keeps falling asleep and calling me his granddaughter."

"Make the order," Farlan drilled once more, then spun on his heel.

Isabel soon followed the wise wolf's orders, but not before telling Levi, "We'll catch up soon, I just have to make grandpa's lunch," she giggled and skipped away from her foster brother.

While waiting for his siblings to return, Levi took a seat and skimmed through menu out of boredom, but soon enough, he unfortunately attracted that new peppy server girl.

"Hi there! My name is Sasha and I'll be your server!"

Her bight personality was slightly blinding and that voice was slightly deafening—Levi certainly didn't prepare to become disabled during his wait. He writhed in his chair and waved her away. "I'm just waiting, I'm not—"

"Let recommend the seasoned potato wedges, they're  _really_  good."

"No, like I said I—"

"The taco's are the best, though! You also get a side of nachos with that," she began to list incredibly fast, making Levi's head spin. "We also have milkshakes: they come in vanilla, strawberry and chocolate flavors. You can also put in brownie bites or chocolate chips or—" she went on and on, and on (and on and on). Had a minute past? An hour? A month? It was hard to tell—it felt like he was stuck in a time lapse of Sasha the Server blabbing about every ingredient on the menu, from each grain of salt to the preheated temperature its cooked at. How much food could be on one menu? Certainly she must've verged off topic somewhere. There can't possibly be this much food on the menu, or even existing in the world.

How was Farlan losing profits from this girl? All her blabbing about food actually  _did_  make him hungry. "Fine, I guess I'll have—"

"The toppings for the deep dish pizza are—"

"Pizza? Wha—no. " When the hell did they say anything about pizza? "I already know what I wa—"

"And the mozzarella sticks are to  _die_  for," her shoulders shook—almost sexually. "It goes _so well_  with pizza. And it comes with the tastiest marinara sauce in the world."

"I just want a  _salad_ ," Levi finally spit out after being cut off far too many times. He didn't even want a salad but this persuasive woman built up a light appetite—and that woman apparently had an appetite as well. Hopefully Farlan remembered to give her a lunch break.

Sasha finally muted, looking at him as if he just asked for a grilled infant with a side of BBQ sauce. "But...but that's not tasty  _at all_ ," she slumped her shoulders, as if hearing someone order a salad was the worse part of her day.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose impatiently. She pestered him into ordering something, but now that he had it's not acceptable by her terms? "Can I please just have a salad and a glass of iced water?"

"Are you sure you don't want anything else? Soup and bread sticks go really good with salads. And water goes with everything, especially spicy foods like jalapeño poppers."

"Fine, okay," he quickly interrupted so she wouldn't start giving him the cooking directions. "Give me whatever the hell that is," and what a mistake that was. Again, he's losing profits how? This girl had a talent to make almost anything sound appetizing. Not to mention she practically forced people to order something they don't even want.

"Yay!" she scrawled on her notepad, finally satisfied, and returned the pen behind her ear. "I'll be back soon!"

From afar, Levi watched Sasha pin the paper in the call window, then went off to fetch his water, and just as she placed the glass down at his table, he heard an exaggerated groan from the kitchen.

"Come on, Levi," Isabel whined, "don't give me more work!" More mumbling followed as steam poured from the window when the first order was done, and Sasha left him to fetch it. A moment later, Farlan returned from the back and sat with Levi, and after some causal exchanges about how their day had been, Isabel came equip with Levi's order.

"I'm on  _break_  now," she intoned to Farlan before sitting close to Levi, as if making it perfectly clear to her bossy brother.

"What about me?" Sasha asked, belatedly dropping off silverware. "There aren't anymore customers."

"Clean the tables," Farlan became the big bad wolf then, but someone had to be the no-fun-allowed boss every successful establishment required. Sasha sighed loudly with an exhausted slouch, leaving the three foster siblings to chat in private.

"Did you meet the girl you've been talking to, bro?" Isabel's dreamy eyes lit with interest on him as she rested her head on her folded arms on the table.

Levi had informed them both about Mikasa casually in conversation, but Isabel had been pestering him for answers about their relationship ever since. "Yeah, I did."

"How did it go?" asked Farlan, and when he received no reply, he studied Levi, trying to read what the expression pointed down at the table meant. "You don't like her?"

"Hm?" he flicked his head up, but his eyes fell diffidently. "No, it's nothing like that," he pushed around his dry salad with a folk, he didn't feel like mentioning she forgot to add dressing, then again he didn't specify. "I think I like her a little too much—and she happens to be way out of my league."

"Psh!" Isabel smacked a hand on the table. "No one is out of my bro's league!" His little sister easily and often forgets that not everyone automatically idolized Levi as much as she does.

"What's has her out of your league?" Farlan wondered.

"She's gorgeous, for starters. Honestly fucking gorgeous. And you know I don't say things like that lightly."

"I've known you since we were kids and I've never even heard you use the word gorgeous. That pretty, huh?" Farlan smiled. "Sounds like a good catch. You two also have a lot in common, right? This seems like a match in heaven."

"Yeah, it is for me. She's kind of get the shitty end of the stick," Levi speared his tomato.

The cheerfulness in Farlan's expression drained. "Don't tell me she was disappointed or something."

"I don't know, she said I'm not how she initially pictured me. But if she pictured some pale midget she wouldn't be normal so she's right in that respect."

"Does she wanna see you again? If not I'll kick her butt! No one ditches my bro!" Isabel punched her palm, rallied up for a fight.

"She said yes when I asked her out on an actual date, but I can't tell if she's just pitying me or not."

Farlan rolled his eyes back and shook his head like he didn't have patience. "Stop being so hard on yourself. All girls are different and are looking for different things in men. You might be her type," Farlan paused to steal a crouton from Levi's salad bed and popped it into his mouth, crunching on it as he continued to speak. "Besides, looks don't matter in the end. If you guys get along as much as you claim, you'll probably have a very lasting and meaningful relationship."

"Hey," Isabel tugged on Levi shirt to grant his attention, "you should bring her here for your date." Isabel offered with sudden excitement. "All our customers always say were the most romantic joint in the city."

"That's exactly what I had in mind, actually." Levi replied and reached over to try one of the spicy poppers.

Isabel clapped as she bounced in her seat. "We'll give you the nicest table and I'll make your dishes extra special!"

"You should make every dish extra special for  _all_  customers," Farlan instructed, even though he looked hopeless that it would do any good and by that time Levi had no idea what was going on because he was currently drowning himself in his own glass of water, trying to cool down his mouth that had spontaneously ignited in flames.

With all the water gone now and his swelling tongue still burning painfully, Isabel smiled at him. "Do you like them? They're new on the menu."

"Did fry them in lava?" Just feeling his wounded tongue hit the roof of his mouth went him a jolt of pain. He pushed the poppers away, feeling a second wave of burns just looking at them.

"You think they taste bad?" she deflated down to the table, looking up with a sad pout.

Levi pinned his apprehensive eyes down at her disenchanted face and trembling pout. His chest stung painfully, and it wasn't from indigestion. "No, I—" he picked another up and popped it into his scorched mouth. "I love them," he chewed the lethal popper that tasted more like a hot coal seasoned with Satan's piss. He didn't know if the poppers actually tasted good or not, for his taste buds were fried off and he probably won't be able to taste anything for a few weeks.

"Sasha, off the phone." Farlan twisted in his seat suddenly, slamming his palm on the table to gain her attention.

"It's an emergency!" Sasha said frantically, and the three foster siblings looked at her with concern, thinking she received bad news via text, but they all sighed in unison when she said: "My best friend has a hot date this Saturday and desperately needs my help!" The brunette continued to tapped away on her phone, running off to take a seat at the bar.

**~x~**

During a rare calm hour in work, Mikasa had plenty of time to think while Ymir and Christa cleaned off the tables—well, if the girls laying on the table's tickling each other counted as cleaning. During her quiet thoughts, the nerves started to pile up, and when she thought about her closet at home and all the bland or simply inappropriate outfits she had stored in there, she realized, with some dread, that she had absolutely nothing to wear this Saturday. That was when she decided to pull out her phone and request the help of Sasha.

The two girls then made their plans, deciding to meet up at the boutique beneath Mikasa's apartment once their shifts were over.

The warm weather from earlier fortunately revisited Sina City after the rain had passed. After parking her car, Mikasa went around to the front of her building where the boutique sat beneath her apartment. There, she found Sasha bouncing excitedly with a slice of half-eaten pizza in hand, waving with the other as if to catch her attention.

Sasha Blouse was a self proclaimed master at fashion; don't let the sauce stains on her shirt fool you, she really did have a keen eye for this type of thing. Since Mikasa was a self-proclaimed master at not caring about fashion, they never really had the opportunity to shop together, not since prom and it wasn't a happy experience due to sad circumstances at the time.

The girls headed straight in through the glass doors of the shop and was welcomed by the distant greeting from an unseen employee. Walking into the boutique was like entering a giant walk-in closet; it was cluttered and over packed and surely had some nice treasures hidden if they looked carefully enough. Headless mannequins adorn in fashionable winter-wear stood up on pedestals and greeted the girls as they made their way pass a raiment of color coordinated collections. The walls were made up of dingy yellow bricks, held together with sloppy mortar. Colorful light fixtures hung low and over the clothing racks and assorted mismatched jewelry.

"I've been meaning to come in here for a while, the clothes seem nice," Mikasa ran her hand through a line of them, feeling the silky and wool fabrics.

Sasha made a scan around the place and ran to a rack, digging through them like she picked up a savory scent. "They do have a very cute collection, and the price tags are cute too. Mall prices around Christmas are  _terrifying_."

An élan assortment near the center of the store drew Mikasa's attention first. She leafed through the raiment on the racks, trying to find something suitable, something simple, but not too casual, but not too over the top either.  _This won't be easy_ , she realized—until her eye spotted something.

"What about this?" Mikasa asked, whirling around with the blouse held up so Sasha could see.

Her friend struggled to smile. "It's... definitely something you would pick..."

"So it's good?" Mikasa held it up against herself, flattening out the wrinkles.

In a flash, the hanger was ripped from her hand, leaving Mikasa clasping at air. "Someone who doesn't understand fashion shouldn't buy clothes for themselves. Do you want him to mistake you for a slab of wallpaper?"

"No..." Mikasa reached for the floral print blouse yearningly, and she got to hold it one last time before returning it sadly to the rod.

The girls continued riffing through piles of fleece, cotton, wool, silk, leather and after about ten minutes, Mikasa wanted to give up and face Levi in one of her fretting sweaters and worn-in jeans on Saturday—but, when she thought of the impeding date, a flutter of excitement bubbled inside her, and she reluctantly decided that Levi was worth sparing another hellish hour of shopping.

"So, your plan about stalking Levi? Horrible idea," Mikasa tried to spark up conversation because the rustle of clothes and metal hangers clanging together were slowly driving her mad.

"How come?" Sasha asked, her back nearly pressed against Mikasa's as she rummaged through a rack in front of her. "It got you a date with him, didn't it?"

Mikasa hadn't had the chance to inform Sasha about what happened between her and Levi, and now that she was preparing for a date with him, she wasn't particularly in the mood to open up old wounds, so she explained the confusing ordeal briefly.

"Oh my God, what are the odds of that happening? That totally sucks."

"And it got pretty ugly. He's a real douche bag."

"Then why are you going on a date with him?" she reclined her head back until it rested on Mikasa's shoulder as she giggled. "Are douche bags your type? I suppose you did date Jean, after all."

"Stifle it," she shimmied her off her shoulder. Yes, Jean was a douche, but in that _'I'm better and hotter than everyone_ _but_ _deep down I'm_ _just covering up the fact that_ _I'm a sensitive mama's boy_ _with low self-esteem_ _'_ way. Levi was an actual douche with a foul attitude, a nasty demeanor with no respect for anyone and chiseled abs worthy of being worshiped—not that his abs had anything to do with that. They're just hard not to think about.

"We have a lot in common," Mikasa started to explain. "I love talking to him, really. He's just different in person. He's kind of a cold prude, but he's still charming in a way I can't described. I just like him—what about this?" Mikasa held up another article of clothing, a plain dress shirt with big cuffs and big blue buttons.

"No." Sasha rebuffed with a curled nose after a half-second glace at the shirt. "It seems it all worked out for the best in the end with him. I think we can safely call my plan a success."

Not feeling up to disagreeing about both matters, she simply shook her head and returned the blouse and resumed her search. But before she could, Sasha sidled over, looking suggestive. "Is he cute~?"

Mikasa shrugged shyly, using a horrid-looking sweater to obstruct her expression from her friend.

" _Is he_ _cute?_ " Sasha repeated, voice laced with a giggle as she tugged the clothing down with an urging smirk to expose Mikasa's blushing cheeks.

Mikasa fiddled with the hook in her hand as she looked around, trying to inspire the correct way to phrase her thoughts."Not traditionally cute, I guess, but when he gives me a certain look, my perception and concentration becomes momentarily disabled, that kind of cute."

"Is becoming impaired a good sign? Is that the twenty-first century version of weak in the knees?"

"More like foe Levi used glare and I might not be able to move."

Right in the middle of Sasha's obnoxious laugh, a young woman emerged from the back of the register, her long lashes curled almost as thick as her short wavy hair. "Do you girls need any help?"

"Thanks, but we're good." Mikasa ironed the smile from her face into a straight line, not paying much attention to the sales associate as she continued browsing through the designs.

"Actually, my friend here has a date this Saturday and we're looking for the perfect outfit. We could use all the help we could get," Sasha confided with the woman.

Mikasa jerked her head back, irked at Sasha blabbing her business to a random woman, who had now clapped her hands together with a coy spark in her eye.

"Ah~ Sounds exciting," the woman goes by the name "Hitch" according to her name tag pinned on her cardigan sweater. "We just had these adorable V-necks shipped in yesterday. They're lovely, I'm wearing one myself," she opened up her cardigan to show it off better, and her cleavage over poured out from the hem.

"...I'm not really a fan of V-necks," Mikasa refused politely, when really she just wasn't a fan of having her breasts exposed.

"Try it on!" Sasha insisted. "It's a cute top, let's just see how it looks on you!"

Mikasa groveled without argument. She couldn't refuse Sasha after dragging her out to shop with her. Obviously, Mikasa didn't know what she was doing so she had to accept counsel when she received it.

They headed over to the dressing rooms, while Hitch went off to organize the shoes on the shelves nearby and Sasha sat in an antique-esque chair with dingy pink upholstery. The changing room gave just enough room to stand and were only covered by a small curtain with odd shapes speckled throughout. While dressing, Mikasa nicked her elbows several times on the walls while trying to get the tiny top on and after much struggling and sucking in, she whooshed the curtain over, escaping the stuffy confinements and took a needed fresh breath before looking into the mirror.

"Oho~ Sexy!" Sasha sprang up from the chair to get a closer look.

Hitch approached her, "I like the color, it really brings out your boobs."

Mikasa finally took a look at herself in the floor mirror propped in the corner, and even though she owned her breasts since puberty and thus found them dull to look at by this point in her life, the sight of her rarely seen cleavage actually surprised her. Turning away from the nearly unrecognizable reflection, she shook her head at both of the helpful girls. "Levi's face literally reaches my chest. I don't think I need to draw any more attention to my boobs."

"Ah, so he's pint-size, huh? You know what they say, big things come in small packages," Hitched giggled boldly.

Sasha and Mikasa both slowly turned to the smirking clerk in sync with puzzled expressions. What store clerk commented on a customers boobs and their dates dongs? The woman just kept smirking, as if she were all best friends.

"I've also heard that small guys have big thingies." Sasha agreed, perhaps to break up the awkwardness.

"You're twenty-one, Sasha. Don't call them  _thingies_ ," she shook her head, snapping herself out of the ridiculous exchange and looked at both of the idiots in turn. "Can we just not talk about Levi's package, please?"

"Did that give you a mental image?" Sasha teased, creeping close to her. "Do you need me to spray you with a paralyzed heal?"

"I immediately regret making Pokémon analogies around you," because now she knows Sasha won't quit.

"That's probably why you didn't end up killing him when you fought—foe Levi used attract! Mikasa is too love-struck to attack!"

Mikasa cupped the ache in her forehead, "I need a Sasha repel."

Hitch looked her over carefully. "But really, it looks nice, but if that's not the look you're going for we can find something else," Hitch suggested and Mikasa nodded appreciatively."How about something with a little more class, then?" the clerk widened her eyes as if an idea popped in her head, and she left their sight to fetch what she had in mind, then doubled up her pace when she came back in view with a black fabric cradled in her arms.

"That's actually pretty nice," Mikasa held it by the hook once she passed it to her, holding it up to inspect it better. A black cropped-neck jumper, simple, warm and comfortable. Mikasa ran a hand over it, feeling the rippling texture. "What kind of bottoms would go with this?"

"I think a pleated skirt would go best, maybe mid-thigh length with a pattern of some kind since the sweater lacks any distinctive flair—I think a top like this demands contrast."

"You really know what you're doing," Sasha blinked in awe, as if watching an idol in their prime element. But Hitch modestly waved dismissively. "I'll browse through the skirts," Sasha offered. "You try that top on in the meantime."

Mikasa returned to the tiny changing room, relieved to rip off the tight top and discard it forever, and just as she slipped on the comfortable jumper, Sasha had draped a few skirts over the aloft rail. Mikasa picked the one most pleasing to the eye, a pale pink pleated skirt peppered with black polka dots.

Pulling it over her hips, she tucked in the sweater and opened the curtain so she could take a look at the combination in the mirror.

"That looks..." Sasha orbited around her as soon as she stepped out. "Perfect."

"I couldn't agree more," Hitch said and Mikasa actually agreed with both of them as she looked at herself. The cropped-neck jumper covered the skin mid-neck to wrist completely, but the skirt showed a respectable amount of her legs, albeit it still looked a little plain, so she noted to take a look at the jewelry and accessories.

"We need shoes!" Sasha declared urgently.

"I have a ton of shoes at home that I never even wore yet," Mikasa replied.

"Do you have anything that would match?"

"I think so," Mikasa tried to picture the pile of shoes cluttering the bottom of her closet.

"You should buy some just in case."

"I literally live up stairs. If I can't find something that matches I'll just run back down."

Even though Mikasa found the outfit she planned to wear on her date with Levi, she still wanted to browse around a little more—her wardrobe could definitely use an update. She can't keep wearing her same high school clothes and Eren's retired hoodies forever.

"This poncho is nice," Sasha seemed to have fallen in love instantly. "I love the zigzag design and the earthly colors."

Mikasa didn't even look up from searching through accessories."Sasha. No."

"You didn't even look at it."

"Hearing 'poncho' convinced me it looks horrible," Mikasa just realized the student was slowly becoming the teacher. Maybe this fashion thing isn't too hard after all.

"It's not for  _you_ ," she whined.

"It's a  _poncho._  I thought you were suppose to be a master at fashion." Mikasa started to double think Sasha's fashion judgment. Maybe she place too much trust in her friend's "keen eye". That busy poncho probably blinded her.

"It'll be my PJ poncho, then," she claimed ownership by securing it against her chest protectively. "I'm buying it. It's mine now."

On her way to the counter, Sasha stopped short, reversed and giggled. "What about this?" Sasha held up a lingerie set—a set of strings tied to semitransparent mesh. It swung on the hook, waving at Mikasa like a perverted flag.

"Can we focus on picking out clothes people will actually see?"

"What if the date goes well? Levi might be taking off that pretty pleated skirt and it'll be nice if you have a sexy surprise waiting for him~" she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Sasha," she gaped, not believing the perverted words coming from her friend's mouth.

"What? Don't tell me you're one of those three-dates-before-sex people."

Since when was  _three_  considered a lot? Being out of the dating field for so long, Mikasa must've missed the memo about that counterintuitive trend. "More like thirty dates."

"Mikasa, dear," she looked at her with pity, "I know you're an old soul, but the fifties called and they want their chastity ring back."

"Do you really think I'll be heading to bed with him in the same week I met him  _and_ had a horrible fight with him?" This week had been a mindfuck enough, she doesn't need to add another complicated element like sex into the mix.

Sasha lifted her shoulders. "Why not? It's called make up sex."

" _Sasha._ "

"I'm just saying," she held her hands up in surrender when Mikasa cut her with a final glare. "But you need to be prepared for your "  _thirtieth_ " date, and that's why I'm buying you these sexy garments," she added it to the bundle in her arms and skipped to the check out counter.

"Don't. I don't want you spending money one something I'l l  _never_  wear." Mikasa joined her with a few more bundles of clothes, and folded them on top of the counter to join the others they placed there. There was also a pair of shimmering red earrings that Sasha picked out and a purse that matched.

"It's fine, I have some extra cash, anyway. This customer gave me a huge tip in work, probably because he loved my food recommendation so much~"

"At least you're doing well in your job," Mikasa sliced open her wallet and took out her debit card. "Maybe I should apply for a job there."

"Don't you dare." Sasha gasped as Hitch rung up the bill. "They're understaffed because it's in the shady side of town—the last girl that worked there before me had her hubcaps stolen."

"But if they're understaffed, doesn't that mean they need help? I don't like the area, but I could use two jobs, with Eren being unemployed and all."

"No, you can't! If you start working there they won't call me in as much, which means less money and less free food!" she pleaded frantically, clinging to her like the dramatic fool she was.

Mikasa rolled her eyes at her friend as Hitch neatly transferred all her belongings into paper bags, and it wasn't until they were all cluttering the surface of the counter that she realized she might've went a bit overboard with this spontaneous shopping spree.

**~x~**

"Hey Mikasa," Eren mumbled grievously as she and Sasha tromped into the apartment with their shopping bags. Luckily it was a short walk, but carrying a dozen bags between them up a narrow flight of stairs wasn't a fun experience.

"I know you must be upset still for what happened with Levi," Eren's voice strained to stay gentle, "so, just know if you need anything, I'm here to help you get throu—"

"Huh?" Mikasa barely paid attention as she struggled with her bags, catching one with her foot before it hit the floor. Reflecting back on what Eren said, his mumbling finally made some sense. "Oh, about that, Levi and I already made amends."

"...What," she just now noticed Jean sitting beside Eren, who had quietly mouthed his confusion.

"Sasha and I just picked out an outfit for my date with him this Saturday. You said you'd help? Could you open my door for me?"

No, Eren couldn't open her bedroom door for her because Eren was so confused he probably didn't even remember how doors operated. Mikasa recognized the mixed signals she threw off, but now wasn't the time to get into it. "I'll tell you about it later, I have to put these clothes away first. Come on, Sasha." Sasha preceded behind with a happy spring in her step while Eren and Jean silently blinked at them as if two mystical fairies pranced across their path.

"Hold up, what happened now?" Jean scratched his head, down-turning his mouth and narrowing his eyes that followed her closely.

At this point, Mikasa was sick of explaining the complicated mix up with Levi. "Eren, do me a favor and summarize what happened to Jean," she huffed as she tried to latch onto the knob, but the handles of the bags looped up her arms kept slipping down passed her wrists, immobilizing the use of her fingers.

Blinking out of his own bafflement for the time being, Eren turned to his not-friend. "Mikasa had a bad fight with this asshole at the gym the other day, she arranged a blind date with Levi and said asshole turned out to be Levi. About what's going on now, I have  _no_  clue. I thought they hated each other."

While listening to the boys exchange their confusion, Mikasa still struggled to open her door. Noticing this, Jean pushed himself off the couch and turned the knob, pushing the door open for her. She was about to thank him before he arrogantly said, "...And now you're going on a date with this asshat?"

The breath meant for a vocal gratitude turned into a gravelly sigh when she slid into her bedroom, with Sasha behind, and Jean too following like an unwanted caboose at the end of the line.

"Hey asshole, were in the middle of a game."

Jean shut the door, muffling Eren's whining. "That kid needs a damn muzzle. So what happened? What was the fight about?" He leaned back on the door, crossing his arms stiffly.

Mikasa lined up the bags on the edge of the bed, separating her purchases from Sasha's. "Looking back, it was a really stupid and petty argument, but it upset me at the time," she explained vaguely. Telling Jean too much of anything wasn't wise nor did it even have much of a point.

"You shouldn't be dating a guy who  _upsets_  you," he intoned, pushing himself into a worried pace.

"It was a misunderstanding," her eyes followed him to her bed, where he collapsed down lazily. Mikasa decided not to tell him to get off it for fear of losing her train of thought. "Levi and I get each other. You and Eren fight all the time but you're still friends."

"That moron is  _not_  my friend," he chuckled arrogantly.

Tilting her head at him, she slanted her mouth dubiously. Why else would he tolerate Eren unless he cared about the kid to some degree? "Then why are you here? Do you enjoy hanging out alone with someone you hate?"

"Killing him in a video game is the closest I'll get to killing him in real life without being trialed twenty-five to life."

"Sure." Those boys are so creepily in sync with each other that they even answer questions in the same manner. She didn't have the energy to insist that they were, in fact, friends. Best friends that were creepily in tune with each other, actually. "Anyway, Levi and I are working through the fight and we're trying to start over."

He scoffed, angling his head away from her. "If he ever upsets you again I'm kicking his ass."

Mikasa nearly snorted in reply at that warning. "You can't. It would be like trying to kick my ass."

Jean widen his eyes silently, not needing further explanation. She's sure he didn't forget the time she accidentally broke his arm while wrestling in ninth grade—and that's when she was holding back.

"Fine, kick his ass for me if he upsets you again, I'll cheer for you from the sidelines."

"Will do."

Sasha stepped fleetly close to his side, smirking down at him. "You're taking this calmer than I thought. Are you perhaps maturing, Jeanbo?"

"Don't call me that," he tried to loosen his tension with a sigh, showing his mixed feelings about the subject of Mikasa dating. "I can hardly forced Mikasa to be alone and miserable forever. I don't have much of a choice.

"Thank you for giving me free will," Mikasa said as she collected hangers from her closet.

"Mikasa has a date, now we need to find Jeanbo one." Sasha plopped down beside him, sneering. "Have you met anyone you're interested in on campus yet?"

He propped his hands behind his head thoughtfully, making himself real comfortable on a bed he shouldn't be in. "I've been on a few dates, but alas, I haven't found anyone I click with yet. I don't think there's a single person in this entire city who gets me, it's frustrating."

Mikasa, along with her two friends, jumped at the booming intrusion. Eren had flung open the door, unveiling his urgency.

Mikasa prepared for the worse, bracing herself for what those trouble-making lips would declare next.

"JEAN. MLP. ON IN ONE MINUTE."

Mikasa slumped in relief, but subsequently became extremely disappointed by the apparent emergency.

Those words didn't mean anything to Mikasa and Sasha, but Jean sprang off the bed so fast you'd think a firefighter bashed down the door to evacuate the residents of the building and Jean was frantically complying. He slid past him shoulder first and Eren remained rooted under the door frame, extending a pointing finger at Mikasa. "You, make the snacks."

"I'm not making anythi—"

"Come on, hurry!" Eren grizzled and beyond the door you could see Jean on the couch, fumbling with the remote dials, as if deactivating a bomb. "Have the snacks ready before the theme song starts," he ordered and merged into yelling the correct channel to Jean as he swung the door shut behind him.

Mikasa blinked a few times at the door, then picked up another article of clothing from the bag and tossed it on the bed, nearly snorting. "I'm not making anything," she then sorted through the laid out clothing. For one date, you'd think a girl would only need one outfit, but Mikasa got a quite a few, most she could mix and match to create more outfits. She supposed it didn't hurt to have some nice dress clothes available. As much as she loved big plain sweaters and Eren's old tops, someone at her age should have some feminine and classy outfits in reach.

Sasha occupied Jean's abandoned spot on the bed, sprawling out on her stomach and swayed her heels in the air as Mikasa hung up her new clothes. "What Jean needs is someone exactly like Eren. A female Eren or gay Eren."

Mikasa tried folding the lingerie Sasha bought her, but folding something made mostly of string and screen mesh resulted in looking more like an unraveling rubber band ball. Sending it to exile into the lowest pit of her forgotten draw, Mikasa decided that would be the best permanent home for it since she never would wear that tarty thing and she certainly didn't want to look at it. "Eren's a closet case, but he won't come out for Jean, that's for sure."

"That's why we need to find someone who's  _like_  Eren, but  _not_ _E_ ren," Sasha conducted another plan, and Mikasa severed the idea connecting to her, learning her lesson from last time.

"Please, no more schemes, I can only handle one Eren. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's one of a kind."

Sasha exhaled considerably. "Yeah, I think you're right. But enough about those morons. Tell me more about Levi," she tucked her fist beneath her chin. "Where's he taking you?"

Mikasa gathered all the paper bags and piled them by the door, noting to throw them out later, then sat beside her excited friend. "No idea. He said he'd pick me up Saturday evening, that's it."

Sasha giggled in her throat, squirming giddily. "He seem oddly mysterious. Well, no matter where he takes you, we have a cute outfit at the ready—we should give you a makeover too to match."

"No," Mikasa put her foot down, without even entertaining the thought for a second.

"Yes!" she hurtled up to her knees, knitting her fingers between Mikasa's as she excitedly capered before her slack-looking friend, making the opposite parallels between them shine. "I'll give you a facial and paint your nails and give you some make up tips."

"No make up," again, she didn't even entertain the ridiculous idea.

"Just a teensy bit," she pleadingly pinched a centimeter of air between her index and thumb. "Lip gloss and mascara, that's it. You're already beautiful, but I want you to really wow him and knock him off his feet."

"I  _might_  wear a little gloss and mascara, but don't count on it," she grimaced bashfully.

Sasha rubbed her chin, inspecting Mikasa with a judging eye. "And just a dab of blush."

"No blush," because Mikasa had no doubt that she'd be making her own natural blush on Saturday night.

An evening of beautifying treatment commenced in Mikasa's bedroom. First they started with make up, and since she only owed a handful of gloss, eyeliner and mascara the experiments ended quickly enough, but the result wasn't  _that bad_ , she'll admit. Next, Sasha painted her nails, or whatever was left of them—she made sure to keep her nails short since lifting weights with long fingernails wasn't easy nor wise. The new coated of glossy red embellishing her fingertips didn't look too bad, either. Now, however, they had moved onto the not-so-fun part.

Just as Sasha slapped on another thick glob of the minty mask, that felt like a spit wad on her face, Mikasa's ringtone blared over the radio playing, catching the girls by surprise, so much so that Sasha brushed some paste on Mikasa's gaped lips, and Mikasa was too fixated on the phone to notice. Who could be calling? Sasha and Jean are here, and the were mainly texters anyway, Connie wouldn't call...maybe it's Armin?

Mikasa crawled over to her phone, lifting it up to see the display. It buzzed in her hand as she read, and her heart sank, feeling heaver than the mask on her face.

"Levi's calling," she gawked, not believing it. "Why is he calling. We never spoke on he phone. What is he doing." Mikasa panicked in monotone, too distraught to use energy in her voice. The phone still jingled with its default ring and vibrated in her palm, and her chest buzzed just as much.

"I might be wrong, but I  _think_  he might be trying to communicate with you, just a wild guess," said Sasha.

Mikasa blinked at the phone taunting her with that melody. "I don't know what to do," she uttered nervously.

"Answer it!" Sasha leaped up happily, tackling her as she cheered her on.

Even with Sasha crushing her and squealing in her ear, Mikasa could think of nothing but the rising anxiety. She  _hated_  speaking on the phone, mainly because of her ongoing relationship with awkward silence. Even while talking to people she knew well, the conversations always went something like this:

"Hello."

"Hi. What're you up to?"

"Nothing. You?"

"Nothing."

_Eternal Silence._

Granted, Mikasa did want to talk to Levi—just, not this way, but she can't exactly avoid holding a phone call with him forever. Speaking to him live and in-person was probably the healthiest route for them—and at that point she forced herself to stop thinking. Allowing herself to dwell about it too deeply would cause her to ignore the call completely. Gingerly, she answered with a swipe and held the phone a little away from her ear to avoid giving her phone a facial too.

Prepared to recite a generic 'hello', alternatively, Levi greeted Mikasa first with: "You know how you said you don't want us to oblivious to what happened, and that there's things we still need to discuss regarding our unfortunate incident?"

Not expecting to be hit with a question as soon as she picked up, her head surged with confusion from the sudden vocal bolt. This wasn't how calls that ended in awkward silence were supposed to begin.

"Oh, yes." Rolling Sasha off her, (who was trying to eavesdrop of Levi's end) Mikasa paced in front of her vanity, trying to enter serious-mode and prepare herself for a discussion of some kind. "Do you have something in mind that we need to talk about? Hello, by the way."

"Hi—yes, one of the insults you threw at me yesterday suddenly hit me. Now it's bothering the hell out of me and I can't stop mulling about it."

Maybe he recalled something awful she said and was having second thoughts about her. Dread settled in her stomach. "I know I said some mean stuff to you and I'm sor—"

"That's not why I'm upset," his voice amplified over her soft utterance. "I'm only upset because I don't know the  _meaning_  of the insult—please define what a chibi is."

Her lips twitched into a half-second smile. She didn't even know why that word came to her at the time, but now it made her want to laugh. Without any delay, she gave him what he asked for in a way he would understand. "It's a tiny version of an animated character with a big head and tiny body."

On the other line, she heard a thoughtful hum. The vibrating tone traveled into her ear canal and the tingling waves made her shiver, spreading to her bristled nape.

"Maybe you're short insults aren't as unoriginal as I thought. I'm impressed and belatedly offended."

"If it makes you feel any better, chibi's are extremely adorable."

A pause. Mikasa almost thought the awkward silence was creeping its way into phone line before he replied with humor peppered over his words. "And that relates to me how?"

Her lips flapped mutely. Luckily the mask on her face started to crack and burn, giving her a reason wiggle out of the trap he set. "Could you hold on for a second?"

She set her phone down on the vanity and left her bedroom, fearing the mask would leave a rash if she didn't wash it off in the next minute. Heading for the bathroom, both Eren and Jean jumped startlingly at the sight of her. Her short hair was tied up in a Pebble's from the Flintstones style and her face was painted with gray-white, a scary sight worth jumping for indeed.

Eren steadied his heart with a hand on his chest. "Fuck. I didn't even recognize who you were for a second."

"You look like a gothic Troll Doll," Jean teased.

She glared at them with her stone mask both in turn before proceeding to the bathroom to wash her face.

Once she was free of goop, (that admittedly made her skin silky-smooth) her trip through the living room went from a casual stride to a rushing dash back to her bedroom when she heard Sasha rambling on the other side of the door.

" _O_ _ff the phone,_ " she charged for her, but it was as effective as a beetle charging for a ram.

"Uh huh, I'm making her look extra pretty for you~" Sasha said to Levi in a singsong voice. "She's super excited for Saturday, oh she's back!" she pretended to just now notice her.

Sasha sprang up and crawled to the edge of the bed, holding out the phone where Mikasa yanked it from her meddling fingers, wishing she could snap each of them painfully slow. "Sorry about that." Mikasa said into the receiver as she glared hatefully at Sasha.

Here, Sasha exaggeratedly mouthed the words " _O_ _h my God, his voice is hot,_ " and Mikasa rolled her eyes at her friend fanning off her face before falling backward onto the bed, unable to handle the purring, alluring tone that came from Levi's mouth.

"So you  _are_  looking forward to your date with that shorty. Hm," he said.

"I guess I am, but he still won't tell me where were going."

"I bet he's going to do something really lame like a movie before dinner."

"I don't think that's lame, can't compete with a classic, after all."

Mikasa soon discovered there was no such thing as awkward silence with Levi. When the guy landed on a good enough topic, he became quite talkative, in a pleasant way that never became one-sided or boring or annoying. Transitioning from text to voice communication wasn't all that bad and soon they were talking as naturally as they did online every evening.

Long after Sasha left, Mikasa found herself browsing her Tumblr dash with her phone still pinned to her ear. She had asked Levi if he had a profile on there, and his response was: "Dumblr is littered with fangirls that write essays about two fictional men glancing ambiguously at each other, so, yes,  _of course_  I had a profile, but I was banned for " _active cyber bullying_ " those delusional fangirls." Mikasa could almost see him air-quoting sarcastically.

"You really need to stop bullying girls."

"Don't tell me how to spend my free time."

As she surfed through her dash, feeling the hot laptop on her thighs and the low ambiance of the radio playing in the background, an unbidden thought popped in her mind. "Do you have our souvenir from today?"

"By souvenir do you mean that creepy selfie?"

"It's not  _that_  creepy."

"I'm waiting for our picture versions to crawl out from my phone and claw my eyes out. As you can tell, being this close to my phone and talking to you right now is very risky."

She translated his roundabout Levi Language to: "In other words, you  _do_  still have the picture on your phone," she stretched out victoriously, situating herself in a more comfortable position on her bed. "Could you send it to me?"

"This is the start of a really crappy urban legend, isn't it?" he started his synopsis tepidly, "I send the photo to you, you get killed, I'm overwhelmed with guilt and I have an epic showdown to avenge you. But then, plot twist, my soul gets sucked into the photo and I too become vengeful spirit."

She silently commended him on his creative stalling methods. The two of them already endured enough plot twists this week, no need to add more. "Yes yes, bravo, cue credits. Could you send me the photo now?"

"Maybe. Tell me why first."

"Just send it to me."

He was silent for a moment. "You're not posting that cursed photo on your Dumblr blog."

Damnit, he figured out her motive.

What followed next was an endless dispute. A live-special starring Mikasa, demanding the photo V.S. Levi, who refused outright repeatedly.

"That photo is 50% mine. I own rights to it," Mikasa insisted, still going strong after a fifteen minute vocal battle. "If you keep withholding it from me I'll sue you."

"That's a valid point," Levi feigned agreement, "I'll crop out your half of the photo and send it to you."

What an annoying little shit. "That's not how it works. If a divorced couple had a child, would they just cut the kid in half and take equal parts?"

"It's called 'splitting-up' for a reason."

Mikasa groaned in annoyance. She wanted to surrender, not because she didn't have it in her to fight with Levi, she just didn't think it was worth the trouble anymore, but now that it started, she couldn't back down, not against Levi—never.

However, Levi did end the wordy battle with this, "I'm not sending it to you and that's the end of it. I don't even know why I didn't delete it yet, but maybe mentioning that I got a present for you earlier will cheer you up."

"You...you did?" The goal of winning rights to the photo vanished from her mind momentarily at that. Levi sure does have a talent for seamlessly changing the topic.

"Well, it's more of a present for your car, sorry to get you all excited. And when I say present I mean medical supplies."

Mikasa sincerely wished she could take a class to fully understand the ever so complicated Levi Language. "If you're trying to confuse me, you've succeeded."

"You won't let me provide the funds to fix the scratch on your car, so I bought it a band-aid," he explained.

"A...band-aid."

"Yes, and I wish I knew these bumper stickers existed before. I bought two dozen of them. Next time I scratch up a car, I'll just leave an apology and a car band-aid."

Most normal people wouldn't prepare in advance for the next time they get into an automobile accident. Most would go as far as getting good insurance and trying to avoid an accident, but Levi downright expected it to happen again, twenty-four times, to be exact.

"Well, thank you, that's very thoughtful."

"This whole mess between us would've been easier to clean up if I physically harmed you, then I could've just thrown you a band-aid, too."

Mikasa pulled her mouth away from the receiver to laugh. "Unfortunately you internally wounded my soul and that takes some time to heal—but I think the recovery process is going by smoothly."

"Therapy helps people through traumatic experiences," he mentioned. "You can use me as a therapist if you want. Tell me about your childhood." She chuckled again, but Levi said, "Seriously. I want to know more about you."

She shrugged her shoulders into her pillow. "Let's see," she flitted her eyes around the ceiling as she rendered something to say, "I grew up in Japan with my doting parents where I studied martial arts, as you already know, and then I moved to America officially as a teen, then I met you."

"I wanted a detailed biography, not an outlined summary—really, was meeting me the most eventful highlight during all your years in America? If so, I'm sorry. You must hate this country."

She smiled, tossing her head. "I actually love it here mainly because I made pleasant memories as a teenager here, but I'll need get my resources together and set aside time to write that wordy paper."

"For now I'll settle for more oral descriptions. Well, Japan, that's an interesting segment. Tell me more about that," he said, mimicking the tune of a therapist.

"There's not much to tell. I grew up in a very tiny mountain village in the middle of no where."

"That sounds very serene, I wish I was deployed to a place like that," he backed up to explain, "I went to Japan in the service to engage in training exercises. But when I was off-duty I wandered around and found myself smack-dead in the middle of Tokyo. It wasn't a fun experience."

"How come? I visited Tokyo a bunch of times and never had a bad experience."

"Lucky you," he actually sounded bitterly jealous here. "I was so lost and confused the whole time. I just remember screaming:  _T_ _asukete. Toire. Eigo._ Those were the only words I knew."

The people of Japan probably mistook him for a very confused chibi that escaped from the TV and really needed to use the bathroom. "That's too bad. It's actually a fun city to visit as long as you know your way around. Speaking the language also comes in handy."

"I assume you're fluent?"

"Yes, I'm fluent in Japanese, and English as you can tell," Mikasa replied proudly.

"Good, I don't think I'll be going to Japan any time soon, but if I ever need a book translated I'll come to you." Levi made another barely noticeable transition in topic, "I loved 'Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World', which was fortunately translated, but the agony of knowing there's good Japanese literature left untranslated is brutal."

"I've never heard of that book," Mikasa admitted.

"That sickens me. Go read it."

"I would hate to sicken you further," she said sarcastically. "I guess I know what my bedtime reading will be from now on," she smirked again before reflecting back on what he said before. "But hold on, did you just ask me to translate an entire novel for you?"

"Actually, there's a few I'm interested in reading. And a twelve-part series. So novel  _s_. Plural. I could give you a list."

Translating several books for one person was not how she envisioned spending her free time. "Excuse me, but I don't owe you anything. You have a debt with me, remember?"

"Add it to my tab."

"I'm not a bar, Levi."

"But you  _are_  bilingual."

"That doesn't automatically make me a translator," she sighed at his ridiculous request—but then an opportunity to haggle and ultimately win the deadlocked battle from before came to mind. "I'll consider slowly working on a book you want translated if you give me that selfie."

He was silent for a moment. "...You drive a hard bargain."

"It's not like anyone will notice," Mikasa assured him, "I only have a handful of followers and most of them are too wrapped up in fangirling to pay much notice. I just want to keep it online for safe keeping, just in case I need a laugh in the future."

"Alright, when you word it like that I guess it's not so bad. But only if you're sure  _no one_  will pay much mind to it."

"I promise, our secret creepy selfie is safe with us."

Later, Levi did hold his end of the deal and sent her the photo (Mikasa, however, accidentally broke her side of the deal, regarding the privacy of their selfie, which she would discover come morning).

Mikasa admired the mess they created as she fought off laughs before dragging the photo over to uploaded. Before posting, she added the Hashtags  _#Bad Selfie #Manlet & Bimbo_

After saying her goodbyes to Levi and before closing out from the web browser for the night, the picture gained three likes (which wasn't expected, she expected zero notes) and she figured that would be the end of it.

By the time morning came, when she checked her Tumblr on the horrible slow app at breakfast, the note count skyrocketed up to 17,000+ likes and reblogs and she no longer had a small handful of followers.

"Shit."

And to make matters worse, by the time she made it to Stohess, Manlet & Bimbo momentarily  _trended_ on Twitter (and she doesn't even own a Twitter) and to top it all off, it quickly became a widely spread meme because the people of Tumblr love making something insignificant and pointless into The Next Big Thing.

"They made our selfie into a meme," Mikasa took a seat across from Levi in their meeting spot at the fruit bar, and he sipped on his orange juice puzzlingly, wordlessly expressing his confusion.

"What the hell is a meme?" His face twisted as he said the word, as if knowing it was something unpleasant (in this case, anyway).

As much as she hated to tell him the details after he trusted her to put the photo online, she knew she had to come clean and the best way to explain was by showing him. Searching the tag Manlet & Bimbo brought up a long list of Tumblr participates trying to recreate the horrible selfie. She flipped her cell and held it out to him shamefully. " _Th_ _is_ is a meme."

Levi took hold of her phone, and soon he made the same disgusted face he wore in the selfie as he scrolled through. "I never hated Dumblr as much as I do right now."

"There's another meme floating around for it too—they say if you see the photo on your dash, you must reblog it immediately or else the manlet and bimbo will harvest your soul."

Shaking his head incredulously, he handed her phone back to her, unable to look at any more. "This is what we get for trying to blend in and take a selfie."

On the bright side, he doesn't seem too mad—just moderately more annoyed than usual. "Our mission has been compromised. The humans figured out our agenda. Abort mission," she recited playfully.

"Our mission has been compromised because of  _you_ ," he intoned peevishly. "You just  _had_  to post that damn photo online. Are you satisfied now, bimbo?"

For that, he earned himself a kick in the shin. "I didn't think anyone would notice,  _manlet_. I post pictures all the time but people just gloss over them."

"It's kind of hard to gloss over  _that_  picture."

She didn't add anything, because he already made a sound point. She folded her arms over the top of the table, trying to generate an expression worth pitying. "I'm sorry, I didn't think this would happen. I just really liked the picture."

Levi shifted with discomfort as he flicked his eyes on and off her, his hard face softening more after each glance until he relaxed with a huff. "I like it too."

"I thought you hated it."

At first, he hesitated to explain himself, but then reached into his back pocket and fished out his phone. Holding it out to her, he looked wary about handing it to her before explaining a little, and she didn't attempt to grab the phone until he finished. "I'm sure you already find me creepy, so this probably won't come as a surprise to you. Here—you can see for yourself how much I  _hate it_ ," he finally passed her his phone.

Readying to turn on the display with a click, Mikasa wondered where she was supposed to look, but as soon as the display flashed on and she saw that photo peering into her soul, she knew. Levi had set it to be his lock screen wallpaper.

She looked up from the phone, trying to hide her grin behind it while her eyes smiled on him. She didn't find that creepy at all. That's unbearably sweet. Right then, Mikasa found herself hoping today would go by as fast as Levi's running and bring on the new day, because she had a feeling she'd be seeing that sweet side of his again on their date tomorrow evening.


	8. Date Night (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the wait! [Insert long list of banal excuses here] I had to cut this into two parts, as you can see. It was just entirely too long for a chapter and the second half is causing me some trouble (blast my writers block to hell). So, instead of making you guys wait for a super long-ass chapter, I rather publish what I've done to keep you busy in the meantime so I can focus on a few pesky scenes.
> 
> Oh, and I guess I should warn that there's sort of Godzilla (2014) spoilers and ranting in this? (Yes, it wasn't airing in theaters during this stories timesetting but I couldn't pass up the chance to torture Levi.)

On Monday, Mikasa hit her peek of interest with Levi online and cooked up a scheme to meet him prematurely.

On Tuesday, she fought with an abrasive manlet, who by a cruel twist of fate turned out to be her online crush. Surprise surprise.

On Wednesday, she went on a horrible blind date, where she evidently found out that Levi and the manlet were one in the same, like some cheap, banal plot twist.

On Thursday, she made up with Levi with the help of selfies, strawberry smoothies and his very enticing muscles.

On Friday, her and Levi worked out together again and were forced to accept the fact that they were now a famous meme on he internet after their selfie skyrocketed to 100,000 notes within mere hours.

Today was Saturday, and the moment of truth had arrived. Mikasa had a date with Levi in twenty minutes.

After reviewing that recap, Mikasa determined that its been one hell of a week. Hopefully Sunday remained a day of rest. Everyday this week she had tasted a new flavor of Levi, and the taste-testing was far from over—she couldn't help but wonder what sort of flavor would be served to her tonight.

Just in case Levi came into the apartment when he picked her up, Mikasa spruced up a bit with no help from Eren and Jean, who were naturally glued to the couch and grunting at each other. Armin on the other hand helped her transform the apartment from shabby drug den to decent living quarters. Moderately satisfied with the renovation, Mikasa spun back into her room to finish getting ready. Applying a light coat of gloss, she rubbed her lips together with a smack to even out the sheen. Now that her hair and make-up were done, she turned to her bed where her new clothes were land out neatly.

Just as Mikasa pulled her skirt up her hips, she heard the most horrible noise that made her pause in her actions. It wasn't the sound of Eren breaking something or Jean arguing arrogantly or Armin rambling on using words only long dead emperors could understand—no, this sound was  _far_  worse.

"Mikasa! Levi's here!" Eren called out after a string of knocks pounded on the front door.

 _He's early_ , she thought. A sudden panic rained over her, saturating her in a soppy lather of desperation. As her stomach churned, she scanned her eyes between all her shoes frantically, as if trying to choose which child she loved more. The knocks kept clamoring and her heart pounded just as fast—and then she realized she didn't even have a top on. Why was she looking at shoes when she was still shirtless? A few little circles later she returned to the bed and snatched her shirt.

"Someone answer the door already!" she shouted through her door, forcing her arms through the jumper. Mikasa might not be ready to leave right this second, but she won't have Levi standing in the hallway knocking for the next ten or more minutes.

"Don't you think the one going on a date should be the one to welcome them inside?" Jean mused.

"I'm not ready yet. Someone answer it, please."  _Not you, though_ , she wanted to add.

"I'll get it," Eren offered.

"If I wanted someone with barely any clothes on to get the door I'd answer it myself," she retorted back. Why did Eren finally wanted to be productive when he was in no condition to be?

" _I_ _'_ _ll_ get it," Armin finally said. Mikasa was just thankful Jean didn't. Nothing could be more awkward than having an ex-boyfriend answer the door for his ex-girlfriends date.

All of the shoes in her closet weren't matching her outfit, she soon realized. Wishing she could turn back the clock and listen to Sasha's advice and buy new ones, she mulled around barefoot, trying to savage something decent from the avalanche of foot apparel.

Meanwhile, as Mikasa had a shoe-related breakdown in her room, Levi stepped into the foyer of the apartment after he was greeted at the door by someone who, surprisingly, wasn't Mikasa. Stepping in, Levi crossed into Mikasa's world inhabited by her friends and it felt as though two universes were colliding, and Levi felt like the new interloper in town, stared at by strange residents like a new town exhibit.

Taking a quick look around Mikasa's abode, (mainly in search of his missing date) Levi silently gave the apartment his seal of approval. The place was decently clean, but the reek of pot and burnt sugar forced him to minus a few points.

With Mikasa still no where in sight, Levi decided to keep following the lead of the one who greeted him into the living room, where he took a better look at the other stranger on the couch, who didn't even bother looking up at Levi. He just kept playing his war game with a brain-dead look in his eyes.

Another unfamiliar face approached Levi with his arms crossed over his chest, looking far down at him like a bouncer making inspections before letting him in a night club. He seemed to be the dominate male figure in the room, but was trying to hard for the role to seem genuine.  _This must be the friend_ _that resemble_ _s_ _a horse_ , Levi concluded after a brief glance.

"You're... a  _little_  different than I pictured you," the horse said, scoffing.

"Mikasa will be ready soon," the blond greeter said, daring to intersect between the tense space that manifested between Levi and the horse man.

Levi kept his cool by nodding and letting his eyes wander back to the one on the couch, slamming frustratedly at his controller. The blond one followed his gaze. "That's Eren. You can sorta call him Mikasa's roommate, except he doesn't pay rent."

"Yo." With his eyes glued to the TV, Eren lazily rose a hand up as if attendance was being called.

"And this is Jean," he continued introductions, pointing to the horse man, then to himself, "and I'm Armin. Were all Mikasa's friend's."

The group of them definitely didn't look like Mikasa's first choice in friends; it was like they were a mismatched, defected set picked out from a bargain bin.

Levi nodded again, sliding his hands into his pockets. He was rattled enough at the notion of going on a date with a girl so far out of his league as it was, so he couldn't say the current position he found himself in comforted him in the slightest way. Meeting a room full of new people on his own like this proved to be almost as nerve-racking as knocking on the door. Trying his best to be polite, he introduced himself, too, even though they obviously already knew who he was or else they would'n't have invited a total stranger into the house and offered introductions.

Then Eren, who had yet to look at Levi, finally peeled his gaze off the TV after he huffed in anger at his virtual death on screen. Seeing that Mikasa wasn't greeting him herself, Levi supposed she must've needed more time to get ready. Understandable—he was early. He would've been even earlier if he didn't circle the block a few dozen times to reinforce his nerves.

"Wanna play?" Eren offered after Levi welcomed himself to a seat beside him. Eren had a naïve twinkle in his eyes, but a wild demeanor—Levi could sense it in him right away. The type of emotional person that loved fiercely and hated even fiercer. "Mikasa will probably be a while longer."

Before Levi could move his lips to answer, he set the controller in his lap. Levi looked at it as if the foreign device popped out a time machine that landed on his crotch. "I haven't played a video game since N64 came out."

Eren's face contorted in half anger, half disbelief, maybe a trace of offense mingled in, too. "Did you play with dinosaurs? Geez, video games came a long way since then." He jabbed his arm with an encouraging elbow bump. "Play."

"I don't know how to play."

"What a noob," Jean, who sat at the far end of the couch, muttered with his head turn away, like he had better places to be.

"Noob?" Levi leaned forward, ready to attack the posh prick as soon as he figured out the definition of his coded slang.

Armin, who took a seat on the other side of Eren, craned over to catch Levi's eyes. "It means you're an amateur. But it's not really a degrading term for someone who doesn't even play video games."

Levi glowered over at the screen, clicking his tongue, as if he was unimpressed. The realistic visuals of men being blown away by echoing bullets made him want to crawl into a shell—but he pasted on an assertive grimace and leaned back coolly. "Sure, I might suck at video games but I can do everything that character is doing but better in real life."

"Oh shit." Eren smacked his leg, as if recalling something. "I forgot you were in the army. What's your killcount?"

Levi turned a hard, narrow glare on the kid beside him. That hateful stare was the answer and once Eren received the message, he squirmed into his own skin. "I was just curious..." he mumbled.

"The number will increase if you ever ask me something like that again."

When Levi extended his arm out over the back of the couch, Eren quailed before scooting away, leaning into his blond friend. "I think this guy is psychotic," he whispered not-so-softly.

Ire rose to Levi face, but when Armin started to speak, his blood pressure went down. "That's an inappropriate thing to ask. You should show more respect for people who served the country."

"How am I being disrespectful? I think he's cool for being a veteran."

Levi now recognized the fact that Eren was just a moron and he probably wasn't trying to be rude by asking a question like that. "You think that's cool?"

"Yeah, really cool." Seeing that Levi had no interest in playing, he snatched the controller from his lap, as if he was suddenly inspired to go to war. "I wanted to join the army when I turned eighteen, but my parents and Mikasa nagged me into going to college because they didn't want me to miss an education opportunity or whatever."

"You know the army offers scholarships and grants after you fulfill your service, right?"

Eren turned a look at Levi like a little kid who just found out Santa wasn't real—and since he wasn't motoring the screen, he virtually died. Now he had two reasons to be pissed off. "What the _fuck_. I feel so cheated."

"Idiot," Jean spat. "The army isn't like Call of Duty. You're better off."

On the screen, Eren intrepidly moved his character in the middle of an ambush, guns blazing like some bullet proof action hero, and was showered by gunfire within seconds. Even if the army was like Call of Duty, Eren would still be pretty sucky at it. "Shit. Shut up. You made me die."

"Look at the upside," Levi started. "With those strategics you would've die on your first mission. Only difference is you wouldn't come back to life."

"I'm unstoppable," he huffed through his gritted teeth, "you guys are just distracting me."

"You have a lot of distractions on the battlefield, but you still need to be smart. No matter now strong you are or how good your aim is, don't throw yourself out in the open. You're basically easy target practice for your enemies." Once Eren re-spawned, Levi pointed to a crate at the right of the screen. "Take cover over there. It'll give you a good vantage point of your enemies. Once you wiped them out, stay low and move up to that barricade over there. For the lot held up at the end of the corridor, a single grenade should take care of them."

Considering the plan only briefly, Eren twisted his lips to one side and rattled his head. "That's the sissy way to play."

"That's the smart way."

"I don't have the patience to hide."

"Is that so? You sure have a lot of patience for dying repeatedly."

Eren grumbled. "Fine, I'll try it." And the sissy way to play proved to be the successful way to play. "That was...easy. I've been stuck on this mission all night. Are you sure you never read a guide on this game before?"

"Unless that guide is called common sense, no."

Eren smiled at him like an old friend, and that's when Jean butted in with another scoff. "Are you sure you two aren't the ones going on the date?"

Eren went on with insults and curses as Armin tried to hold him back from wailing on him, but Levi intercepted with a better comeback that didn't involve horse puns: "You sound jealous," he said calmly, and Jean shut up.

With the tension settling down, Eren urged the controller onto Levi again. "Play. Just try it."

Levi rolled his eyes and took hold of it. He supposed it would pass the time as he waited for Mikasa, but that time soon proved to be spent frustratingly because he barely even touched the thing and he already screwed something up. "Why am I looking at the ceiling?"

"'Cause you're moving the camera. You use the left analog stick to move."

"Oh, okay—now I'm stuck on a wall."

"Move the stick left."

"Oh. Now I'm getting it." Levi spun the character in little circles to get the feel of turning. Now feeling like a pro, he rounded the corner and died an anticlimactic death immediately. "How do I shoot? Ramming into these guys apparently doesn't work," he tittered—this was more entertaining than he thought.

"Right trigger, aim with the left." With full focus, Levi fixated his eyes on the buttons so much that he could scarcely part his attention to the screen.

While Levi tried to figure out how to play a video game, Mikasa still tried to figure out which shoes to wear. Both missions proved to be equally stressful. She felt a sudden head rush when she scanned the accumulated landfill of shoes and the throbbing increased every time she heard Levi's voice outside her bedroom. Not only was she not ready physically, but mentally, too. The shoes weren't really the issue, she realized. She was stalling and she had to be an adult and admit that. Admitting that to another adult (at least, someone who  _acted_  like one) would be the first step toward recovery. Without delay, she texted Armin.

 **{** _I need advice on shoes. And general advice about boys. Hurry._ **}**

A second later, Armin sighed his way into her room. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not your gay friend? Until Eren reaches enlightenment you won't have a gay best friend. Got it?"

"Can you just pretend for just this once?" Mikasa looked up pleadingly from the floor, surrounded by mismatched shoes and Armin seemed to take pity on her, or maybe that look in his eyes was pure cynical judgment.

"Why don't you ask Jean? He's not the pure gay friend you're looking for, but he does like guys."

"You think Jean understands fashion?" she jeered. "He wears  _sandal_ _s_ , Armin."

"But they're fashionable, designer sandals," he countered.

"It's December. Sandals aren't only out of season, but they're not a wise fashion choice. Just because a bisexual man wasted a lot of money on ugly sandals doesn't make them fashionable."

Armin sighed again and flicked a finger at the heels behind her. "They match your earrings."

Desperately taking his advice, she buckled them on, stood, and nearly fell because how the fuck was it even possible to walk in heels? When she noticed herself towering over Armin, she kicked the heels from her feet in an instant. "Wait. No heels." Armin was closed to the same height as Levi—the last thing she wanted was to tower over the man more than she already did.

"You're panicking," Armin simply said as he watched her rummage through her closet on her knees.

"I am totally level headed and calm." The first step of recovery is denial, she's on the right track, at least.

"That's about as true as Sasha saying she's not hungry." Armin sat down on the bed, holding his knees to his chest. "Just this once I'll be your gay friend. Tell me what's wrong."

She felt deflated by his words and coiled her neck around over she shoulder. "I'm just out of practice...or really, I don't have practice at all. I haven't went on a date since high school—and it wasn't as pressuring as  _this_. It was easy with Jean because we already knew each other years prior to dating. Friendship with added perks, that's all it was. But with Levi...he's completely new to me; a stranger who I already have an iffy history with. I'm just used to being around people I know for years." It's not like it was hard to talk to Levi, quite the contrary, but adjusting to someone new after spending years with the same familiar faces and predictable characteristics wasn't easy. That was another thing—Levi was just so unpredictable, and she had a feeling he always would be. It actually scared her.

"So basically you're freaking out because you've become a ruttish fledgling and it's time to leave the nest. I know how you feel, we've all been friends for so long—it's really hard to fly the coop sometimes. But you know, you're going to need to date outside the group eventually. Jean is crossed off now, Eren is gay, he just doesn't know it yet, Connie is Connie, that tells you enough and I'm an asexual that isn't interested dating. If you want to get a man anytime before you hit the retirement home you'll need to leave the safety of our nest, Mikasa."

Armin must've noticed the way Mikasa hung her head with a frown because he quickly added, "Or rather, you'll have to invite Levi into our haywire coop."

At that, Mikasa smirked and perked up her hunched shoulders. "Would you guys really accept him? I thought the membership was impossible to bypass."

Considering with a slick tilt of the head, Armin nodded. "I think we could make an exception for Levi. After all, he would fit in perfectly with the pack of weirdos around here. I'm pretty sure Eren is already in love with him, no need to worry about getting his approval. Jean isn't as friendly but he'll get over himself—the black flats, not those hideous gray ones."

Just realizing she had one of each on her foot, she threw the hideous one's back into the pit of her closest where they belonged and turned back to Armin with a slight smile. "Thanks for being my gay friend for five minutes."

"Anytime," he stood, shoving his hands in his blue cardigan pockets. "I better get back out there before Eren scares your date away. Last I checked he's making him play Call of Duty."

She heaved an amused sigh. "I'll be out in a second. I just need to grab my purse."

Just before Armin slipped out the door, he smiled back at her. "By the way, you look very pretty."

Turning redder than her earrings, she returned a flimsy smile and waved him away.

"Could you lower that a bit?" Levi intoned, wincing uncomfortably with a palm covering his ear at the incredibly loud noise emitting from the surround sound speakers.

"I can't change the volume, I'll lose the authentic experience!" Eren yelled over the poor speakers that would likely need to be replaced soon.

"Kid, I was in the army and the battlefields weren't even  _that_  loud."

"Yeah, Eren." Mikasa stormed forward, ripped the remote from under Eren's ass and clicked mute. "That's  _way_  too loud, we don't need another visit from Mr. Woerman."

Somewhere between Eren complaining, she heard a low hum from below. She traced the low purr of a sound down and when her eyes finally met Levi's for the first time, he was appraising her head to toe—or more like  _chest to legs._

When his eyes moved up to met hers, they shined even brighter. "You look nice."

Levi's approval: Check. Once she timidly recovered from the compliment, Mikasa too checked off her own approval after taking a moment to look her date over. Levi was dipped in neutral tones, woven in a tan sweater embossed with cross-crossing patterns with tight-fitted ashy slacks. He looked as if he walked off a spread from  _GQ Magazine_ —he might've had a great career as a model if it wasn't for his inability to be photogenic. It would always be an ongoing mystery to Mikasa how a well-dressed, handsome man could be so ironically terrible looking in photographs.

As her hands fiddled in the frills of her skirt, she muttered, "You look nice, too."

Levi rose then, standing next to her and eyeing the door, anxious to make a break for the exit. She could fully understand why. Fifteen minutes with her friends could feel like a lifetime of headaches and annoyance.

"Where are you guys off to this evening?" Armin asked curiously, returning to his seat beside Eren.

"The movies," Levi answered.

Eren's attention moved up to them. "What movie?"

Levi shrugged and turned back to Mikasa. "I'm not even sure what's playing right now. Is there anything you've been wanting to see?"

"Godzilla." There was no hesitation in her request.

He slumped his posture and it was like he was melting into a puddle of disappointment. "Please no."

"I thought you'd be onto that." He looked like the typical action-junkie, and during their nightly talks online he mentioned a few action movies he enjoyed. Mikasa figured he'd be a fan of a giant monster destroying a city.

"He's a  _lizard_ , Mikasa. A giant one," he shuddered. "Gross."

Eren tousled his hair with agitation, then flailed an arm at Levi. "Dude, why do you hate lizards?"

"I just don't like them," his voice whipped the air, "and Godzilla happens to be a giant lizard. Who stomps on people. And terrorizes cities."

"Did you have a traumatic experience with lizards?" Armin leaned forward, biting his thumbnail curiously. "Is that why you're triggered by them?"

"Triggered?" repeated Levi, not fully understanding his meaning.

"Did a lizard touch you inappropriately?" Eren laughed, no one else did.

"Actually, yes." Levi realized, belatedly, that he had to give a follow up story after uttering out such a vague, yet intriguing reply. And so, he closed his eyes to the stares and sighed. "One time while I was in the service, my shitty friend released a cage full of reptiles into my bed while I was asleep and called it an experiment." He shuddered just thinking about it. Eren, of course, thought this was hilarious and released a wallowing laugh. Mikasa, even though she kept a straight line of a mouth, found it pretty funny, too.

"So that's why we can't see Godzilla?" She whirled to him. " _Seriously_?"

Levi gave her a look, that kind of look you give a puppy when you know they shouldn't eat human-food but you want to see them happy so you kind of do it anyway. "If you want to see it that bad, then fine, we can see it."

"Can I come see Godzilla with you guys?"

Mikasa face lifted at Eren's unexpected request, and she beamed with delight for a half a second, but feeling the presence of Levi beside her, she went slack. "As happy as I am that you want to leave the apartment for a change, no, you can't. I'm going on a  _date_ , Eren. You can't tag along."

"I've been wanting to see it too." Jean spoke up, rising from the couch. "Eren, Armin and myself will take my car and we'll pretend we don't know each other. Fair?"

Mikasa looked at Levi for his consent in the matter. He lifted his shoulders indifferently. "I don't care."

"Alright," Jean whipped a stern point at Eren. "Get your ass ready or I'm leaving you behind."

"I am ready!" shouted Eren and four pairs of skeptical eyes pinned to him. He was in boxers and hasn't showered in at least three days. "I just need to put on a shirt."

"And pants," Jean pinched his brow, "please put on pants."

With some difficulty, Eren disappeared into his landfill of a room.

"Look at that pigsty," Levi slanted over, looking into Eren's room and his eyes widened with a lustful spark. "I've  _never_  saw a room that dirty," he said in the same way a man might say ' _I never saw a woman that beautiful before._ _'_  Levi stepped forward toward the challenge, but Mikasa extended her arm across his chest, blocking him admission from going off on a cleaning frenzy.

Some clatters and stumbling later, Eren tripped his way out of his room a minute later, wearing that old shirt that he always wore, like a cartoon character that never changed their outfit through three-hundred episodes.

"Disgusting. You smell like pot and poptarts. Go take a shower and do your laundry," said Levi as his eyes formed constellations from the stains on his shirt.

"No way in hell am I waiting that long," Jean complained, waving his car keys. Mikasa sighed and reluctantly went into the kitchen and pulled out her secret emergency stash, and came back to spray Febreze over Eren.

"Lemony." Eren said, pleased with his new scent. He tousled his wild brown hair and headed for the door.

Once outside, the cold strangled around Mikasa's throat and her breath poured out in a hot fog. It was much colder than she anticipated. Doubtless, she looked and felt pretty in her pleaded skirt but her bare legs will probably need to be sawed off from frostbite by the end of the night.

"It's like date night, except there's five of us and three of us are single," Eren commented as they loped in a group to the cars parked in the alley.

"I could've brought a date if I wanted to," Jean claimed, striding confidently. "Everyone on campus practically throws their numbers at me."

Eren looked like he just tasted something awful. "Probably because they're studying veterinarian work and you look like a sickly horse."

Jean knocked into Eren's side, making him slew over. "You never run out of fucking horse jokes, do you Eren?"

"Nope. So are you gonna strap on a saddle or are we taking your car?"

"It's like you're asking me to punch you." Jean unlocked his car with a beep of his remote and Eren went running, shouting, "Shotgun!" and Eren hopped in the front with Jean because despite not getting along with each other they were so inseparable it was pathetic. Armin gave a friendly wave to Mikasa and Levi before hopping in the back seat.

Turned out the emergency amputation wasn't necessary after all because the moment Mikasa slid in the front seat of Levi's car he ignited the engine and cranked up the heat. The hot wind blew from the vents, drying out her eyes and wafting her hair. And the seats were heated. Bless heated seats.

Immaculate was a good word to describe the interior of Levi's mustang, expected from an abrasive manlet who enjoyed giving inanimate objects a bath. Sleek leather upholstered the seats and a fresh aroma from the air freshener mounted on the vents gushed out. But Levi's potent scent of shampoo and detergent overran that scent once he was tucked into a seat belt beside Mikasa. The radio, currently tuned to her favorite station, stood out under the dashboard, all lit up and digital with a built in GPS. It didn't match the year of the car. A custom set up must've been installed.

Levi adjusted his mirror before backing up. With Levi's horrible parking skills in mind, Mikasa hooked around the seat, monitoring the rear window. "You're good," she said and he rolled out in reverse, and one of the tires hit the curb. The bump was enough to remind Mikasa to strap in her seat belt. Situated now, she found herself tempted to pull down the mirror to check her make-up that felt heavy and unfamiliar on her face, but decided not to in fear of coming off vain. "Sorry about them tagging along. That wasn't planned."

"It's no big deal," he dryly replied.

They were riding smoothly, for now, mostly in silence. Not because they didn't have anything to say (they always seemed to have something to say to each other) but because the radio was on, and given that they were both soft spoken individuals neither of them desired to raise their voice.

By the time they got on the freeway, with the Sina City strip lit with neon lights and a cosmic backdrop in view, Mikasa turned down the radio just a bit—something had been nagging at her since the radio turned on. "I thought you said you detested pop music."

"I hate it with a passion," the driver claimed as one pop song after the next played in his car. "But I like this station. They play some good gems in between, so long as bimbos don't keep calling in requesting Shitty Perry songs."

She feigned a gasp. "Don't you dare malign Katy Perry's name in my presence."

"She belongs in a trash bag. No—she _is_  a trash bag."

Mikasa bumped her head into the side window, a smirk daring to strike her lips. " _Drifting through the wind, wanting to star_ _t_ _again..._ "

"See, her lyrics make no sense. Why would a plastic bag need to start over again? Did it have a divorce or a midlife crisis? Did it find out the little gift bags weren't its real children?"

Mikasa covered her mouth to hold back a laugh, and it was then she got an idea that would make this ride a little more interesting. "That's it. You brought this upon yourself." Mikasa dug through her purse and pulled out her cellphone.

"Don't do what I think you're going to do." Levi eyed her, as if what she was capable of achieving on her phone was more life threatening than swerving off the road.

"Oh, I'm doing it." After putting the phone on speaker, she heard the prerecorded hold-message of the radio station, one she heard often on boring nights.

Levi grumbled. "Do you have them in your contacts or something?"

"Speed dial—" the phone picked up then, and she lowered the volume of the radio more so she wouldn't hear her lagged voice through the speakers. "Could I request Roar by Katy Perry? I'm trying to piss off my date."

As the deejays cracked up, Levi squirmed in his seat. "Typical bimbo," he spat, disgruntled as ever.

"Isn't it illegal for someone your size to not be in a car seat,  _manlet_?" she lashed back.

"I hereby ban you from all radio rights," he rasped, not realizing yet that his voice was being broadcast live on the air.

"I can recognized that cynical voice anywhere," one of the deejays, who went by the name Armored-Bro, said. "Levi, you're on a  _date_?"

Mikasa whipped her head to Levi, who looked placidly still, and dropped her mouth at yet another plot twist unravaling before her. Why did she constantly feel like she was on The Twilight Zone every time she was in Levi's presence?

Levi leaned over to the receiver. "If you don't shut up I'll reveal your true identities live on the air right now."

The deejays made some nervous sputters, announced the song title for listeners just tuning in and disconnected from the line.

So Levi and the deejays not only know each other, they  _know-know_  each other. "You know them?" was the first thing said out of Mikasa's gaped mouth, her tone spiking in bemuse as she returned her cell to her purse.

"Don't you know them too? I could've swore I saw you talking to Bertholdt and Reiner at Stohess."

Mikasa pressed back into the warm seat, slightly dazed. "Reiner and Bertholdt..." she repeated, and her lips parted to unleash a gasp. "Oh—I  _knew_  their voices sounded familiar."

To help contemplate this new news, she turned up the volume and Levi then proceeded to wince and groan for a full three minutes and forty-two seconds. On some lyrics, Levi would roll his eyes so off course Mikasa briefly believed they'd crash into the guard rail.

Curving around a scarcely lit bend after departing from the freeway, they merged right into Sina City's main strip. "If only we liked the same music," Levi sighed, "then we'd have everything in common."

"But then we'd be clones. And that would be creepy."

"Fair enough. I'm willing to set aside my prejudice for pop music for your sake."

"And I'm willing to put up with your irrational cleaning habits, not only for your sake but only because I don't think I could stop you."

"You're a fast learner."

Mikasa repressed a smirk. "So are you. At least you realized I'm not a dumb bimbo. Can't say my initial opinion about you had changed drastically yet, though."

Looking peeved, Levi made a tsking sound. "You're right, I don't think you're a  _dumb_  bimbo. You're a bimbo with developed brain functions."

Pity filled her eyes. "Did that make you feel better about being a manlet?"

He clicked his tongue, annoyed at her and the jerk that rudely honked after Levi cut him off. "I should've told you to leave your sass at home. This is a sass-free date."

She shrugged unapologetic. "Now you're stuck with it."

Levi face weighed in consideration, and Mikasa was starting to think he wasn't the type who could think and drive at the same time judging by the way he nearly clipped the side of a taxi. "I don't mind being stuck with you. Even if it's a bit like being stuck in a rose bush, with pain and beauty and whatnot."

Mikasa curled her nose. "Do you rehearse this crap or are naturally talented at coming up with corny phrases?"

"That's it." He smacked his palm against the steering wheel. Mikasa felt like she crossed a line somehow. "You're leaving your sass in the car and you're not getting it back until the end of the night."

"You can't just take it. I need it. Especially around you."

"I didn't take it, I confiscated it. You'll get it back later if you behave yourself."

"Now you sound like a grumpy old man," she mumbled down at her skirt like a scolded child.

"This date isn't going as I planned," he suddenly said and a grim silence occupied the next few seconds.

"Does anything ever go as plan with us?"

"I wanted to change that. I wanted..." he groaned, like a hairball was stuck in his throat and he needed to dry heave it out. "I wanted this night to be  _romantic_."

She turned a wide stare on him, aghast. "Is that what you call this? Oh God, you're  _really_  bad at it. Stop it." Then, she tittered to lighten the mood. "I find your grumpy, old man self flattering. Relax."

"Relax," he said, half-question, half-disbelief. "On a date, with you. Attempting to be romantic is easier than that."

Mikasa inspected his face, and surprisingly detected traces of sincerity. "What's the big deal?"

"Did you conveniently forget what kind of week we've had?"

"Nope. It scarred me for life."

"Exactly, yet you still agreed to go on a date with me. Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? One screw up and you'll think I'm still the same asshole you met at the gym. Well—apparently you still do anyway," he mumbled the latter in a grim tone.

"You act like you're trying so hard, like you have to tip-toe on egg shells around me, yet you're still being an asshole."

"I'm a recovering asshole," he excused himself. "I can have little relapses. That doesn't mean I'm not trying to be better."

"Levi, just be yourself," she expressed in a sigh as she rubbed her brow. "I don't want a stressed out date. I want you to be the same open person I got to know—you were an asshole online, too. As long as you're not intentionally trying to piss me off you don't have anything to worry about."

The ride remained ponderously quiet until she spoke up again, "Since I said you can be yourself, can I have my sass back?"

His eyes were smiling; a chivy glint playing across his blues. "Since you indirectly told me I could be an asshole, no, you can't."

As she narrowed her eyes on the asshole, her jaw clenched. "Don't make me make another call. I'll tell the police you aren't using your big-boy seat. I'm sure someone with your impeccable driving skills already has enough tickets and insurance claims to worry about."

Remaining composed, Levi merely mollified at the threats directed at him, much to Mikasa's disappointment. "Go on, get the sass out of your system while you can because it's staying in the car."

In the end, it didn't stay in the car.

**~x~**

"You parked wrong," Mikasa said impassively, as if saying something painfully obvious. Stretching her neck out, she peered out the side window and noted how Levi's car was a hair width's from Jean's.

"Did not," he unbuckled his seat belt and swung opening his door wide, demonstrating the flaw in her claim.

"You might have room but I can't get out without smashing into the Jean's car." She then noticed Jean behind the glass, tossing his hands up and gesturing to his side of the door like a frustrated mime trapped in a box. "Jean can't get out either."

Levi groaned, thrust the stick into reverse and straighten out the car. "Better, princess?"

Flinging the door open, she swung her legs out into the cold air. "Yes, king manlet."

Eren, Jean and Armin ran off ahead like hounds off their leash, and by the time Mikasa and Levi made it out of the parking garage and arrived to the ticket booth attached to Mall Maria, Eren and co. were already near the front of the line. The couple slipped their way through the crowd, cut ahead and purchased their tickets.

"I can't believe you're making me see this shit," Levi said, looking down glumly at the ticket stub before shoving it into his pocket.

"I can't believe you're a reptilian racist." Mikasa skimmed the ticket before putting into her purse for safe keeping. "We have an hour to kill. Might as well loiter the mall."

"Hearing you say that makes me feel fifteen again," Levi matched Mikasa's stride beside her, heading toward the entrance.

"So you're  _not_  fifteen? Could've fooled me," Jean rasped somewhere behind them and unfortunately he was too far away for Mikasa to nudge quiet, but luckily Levi didn't seem to hear him. Unless he chose to ignore the remark—she checked his expression—yep, he definitely heard him. He probably figured getting into a brawl on a first date wouldn't be chivalrous.  _Aw,_   _h_ _e is trying to be romantic_ , Mikasa thought.

As soon as they walked into Mall Maria they were all assaulted my merry holiday shopping music. Every inch of the place was decorated with wreaths and bells and garland and reeked of peppermint, expensive perfume that was sprayed on unsuspecting customers by salesmen and the sweat of many busy shoppers. Each shop had decorative Christmas themes, and while her and Levi admired a creative window set-up of a soap shop, Eren flung over to Game Stop like a moth to a flame.

"We'll meet back up at the theater, Mikasa!" said Eren as he dashed in after Jean, and Armin went along, even though he had no interest in video games.

Levi took a bored scan around, as if the swarm of shoppers and music and activity and decorations had no effect on him. "What would you like to do in the meantime?"

She shrugged and suggested to do some more window shopping, not knowing what else to do

Continuing their stroll, they stopped at various windows and stared until they grew bored or until rude brats knocked them out of the way to get a better look. Moving on, the Santa display came in view, populated with helping elves trying to calm down screaming kids that all apparently were all on the naughty list by the way they were behaving. A train looped around the cheap display of the North Pole and the big man himself was present, of course, hohohoing away on his worn-in throne.

A congested line of parents and children were held between velvet ropes as the child on Santa's lap refused to stop flailing long enough to have his picture taken.

"Organized chaos," Levi called it, and they were about to keep moving until he stopped dead in his tracks. "Ah, shit." Levi muttered through his teeth, his glowering eyes planted on a spot on the line.

"Hm?" Mikasa followed his gaze, but didn't see anything worth uttering a curse about.

"Fuck me," he hissed and Mikasa tried not to take the curse out of context on their first date. "I think he spotted me. Now I have to say hello."

"What?" she batted her eyes, but received no reply. Levi simply beckoned her to follow him with a quick shift of his neck. When they came to a stop, they had approached a man with two bouncing children tied to his hip.

"Ah, shit," the man said through a curled lip when Levi arrived in front of him.  _Was that how they said hello to each other?_ Mikasa wondered.

"Nile." Levi spat, crossing his arms and widening his stance in that defensive way that made him look ironically smaller.

"Levi," the man replied just as nasty.

One of the children attached to Nile's leg gasped, an elder freckled-face boy, no older than eleven. "That's the bad man who tried to tell us Santa wasn't real!" In a victorious motion, the boy then flung a stubby finger to the fat man in the chair. "Proof!"

Levi flicked his gaze over to the golly man. "Proof that an obsess pedophile with a beard could earn minimum wage at the mall around the holidays?"

The kids cocked their heads guileless and Nile hissed as he scrambled to cover their ears. "Quiet, Levi. You already ruined last Christmas. No need to prove yourself again this year."

 _Ruined last Christmas_? Mikasa repeated in her mind, but couldn't focus long on the puzzling statement because the men kept talking, and she found herself oddly intrigued by their exchanges and didn't want to miss a word.

"Fine, I'll shut up. I just felt obligated to say hello," Levi drawled. "Where's the wife?"

"Helping Santa with the shopping," Nile said slyly, stepping up a place in line. "My job is to keep the kids preoccupied until she's done. The baby's at home with a sitter."

Levi took a step back, his head whipping around as if recovering from an electric shock. "What, you have a baby now? When did that happened?"

Nile squinted his eyes at him, uncertain if Levi was joking or not. "...In September, you know, when she was  _born_?"

Levi stared blankly, obviously having no recollection of this baby's existence.

Nile stepped forward, agitated. "How can you not remember? You were invited to the baby shower."

Levi blinked a few times, but nothing sparked recollection.

Nile lowered his voice so his kids couldn't hear, "You met her during her welcome home party and kept insisting she was a boy, then when I said she took after me you made the sign of the cross and hoped she grew up to have a great personality," he reminded him, trying to inspire recall, but Nile seemed to get pissed off at reminding himself of the ordeal.

"Oh, that's what those parties were? I tend to get drunk before attending one of your dull gatherings just so I could survive the eventless ordeal. Excuse me for being blurry on some details. Well. Congrats on the little bundle of tears and crap."

"And puke." The younger of the two children added with a curling nose. "The baby is  _always_  puking."

Levi bent down, patting the little girls head sincerely. "Your father has that kind of effect on people."

Nile rolled his eyes. Mikasa still couldn't tell if they were friends or not, and while she wondered, Nile's eyes zipped over to her. "Who's your friend? Never saw this one before."

Levi braced himself before saying, "This is Mikasa."

"Oh." Nile let out a chuckle, covering his mouth but his eyes still crinkled in mirth. "The dating website girl? I was on the phone earlier with Erwin and he told me about the awkward mix up you had." Nile laughed, knuckling away a tear on Levi behalf.

"Don't make me beat you in front of your kids and Santa Claus," he grunted, his jawline tense.

"You must have the patience of a saint to deal with him," Nile grinned at her, and Mikasa lips tried to form words but nothing came out. Levi dragged her away then, giving a sloppy wave to Nile behind him.

"Who was that? A...friend?" It was hard to spit out the word  _friend_  since there was nothing friendly about them, yet they somehow were familiar with each other. Maybe that's how Jean and Eren would be in their thirties.

"Not really. I know him for about ten long miserable years. Since he's Erwin's buddy I'm forced to hang out with him even though we don't get along well. We don't hate each other or anything. We mutual agree that we rather have a friendship consisting of no communication or visual contact."

During their chat, they ended up arriving at grand Christmas tree that stood two stories high. Mikasa peered up at it, trying to see the tip of the star. When she looked back down at Levi, he was turned the other way, sulking, his elbows leaned back on the rail that bordered the display.

"What's wrong? Did you spot another hated friend?"

He shook his head.

"What is it, then? You look gloomy—more so than usual." She pinned her eyes on him, and his were wandering lost through the crowd of Christmas shoppers.

"I just don't like looking at big ass trees cluttered with tacky crap all over it."

"I should've seen this coming." She spun around and leaned back on the rail that encircled the tree, her eyes lit in revelation. "You're a miserable manlet that hates Christmas. Ugh." She didn't know if she wanted too laugh or retch in revolt. "You are a walking cliché."

"And liking Christmas isn't cliché? Sorry, but I refuse to be apart of your Hallmark love story. We are not falling in mushy, disgusting love for Christmas."

"You make falling in love sound so unappetizing," she remarked flatly. She agreed that Hallmark holiday movies sucked though. Lifetime was were it was at.

Levi rolled up his sleeve to glance at his watch and glowered at it. There's not one item or person in this world that hadn't fallen victim to Levi's grimace. "We still have about a half hour to kill."

Mikasa looked around to spark some time-killing activities. Her eyes landed on something, something her mind didn't even register yet and Levi was already arguing with her, saying, "No. Don't you dare even suggest it."

"I didn't even get a chance to consider it yet," she said, looking away from the photo booth.

"Good. I saved you from heartache." He started walking and Mikasa caught up to his pace. They passed an f.y.e and Levi made a comment, wondering how it wasn't out of business yet, and continued with saying, "Remember when people used to buy CD's?"

"I still buy CD's."

Levi turned to her almost aggressively. "That's right. You do. I remember seeing them on your dash board. Stop that. Download music illegally like a normal person."

Then that reminded them of Limewire and they mourned about it together at the fountain where they spent the rest of the time sitting on the bench, people watching. Levi primary made fun of the animated and frantic shoppers passing by. They tried not to laugh at the guy who dropped his big pretzel on the floor just as he was going to take a bite (then he had to stand in the long line again), and the kid who threw a tantrum, rolling around the floor while the father called his baby mama, frantically screaming: "What do I do?!" over and over.

Levi had stretched his arm out and balanced it on the backrest behind Mikasa. It made it seem like he had his arm around her, and that made her curl into herself stiffly. Mikasa's heart was beating fast, nearly feeling his arm on her back like a ghostly touch.

"We should get going," he said suddenly, retracting his arm so he could peer at his watch. "I want to get there early. I like watching the previews."

"You mean you like making fun of previews."

He whirled back around to look at her, flattered, and held out his hand to her. "Someone's becoming fluent in my language."

Blinking at the offering, she took hold of his hand and her heart pounded even faster. "Like you said before, I'm a fast learner."

On their way into the cinema, their hands remained locked together, and Mikasa felt like her hand would melt and drain through his fingers before she caught sight of Eren, who was behind the wheel of one of those simulated driving games. Jean was beside him, racing him on a different screen. They both drove aggressively and shouted at each other as they rammed into one another's cars and occasionally tried to push each other out of their actual seats.

Mikasa and Levi made the wise decision to walk past them, too embarrassed to admit they knew the reckless drivers. Instead, they followed the scent of popcorn to the snack bar where they met up with Armin, who spun around with a smile, holding four cups of soda stuffed into a foam tray.

"Need help?" Levi offered, peeking over his shoulder at the cluttered mess behind him.

"Uh...maybe." Armin looked back around at the buffet of snacks set on top. Mikasa previously thought it was a food display, not an actual order. "Eren and Jean really do have the most unhealthy appetites I've ever seen," Armin sighed.

Levi held his chest, grimacing at the soggy nacho's, salty chips, sticky candy and greasy popcorn. "Just looking at that gave me bad cholesterol and high blood pressure."

But Jean and Eren weren't warded off by the unhealthy ingredients at all, in fact, it attracted them like bees to a flower. They strolled up quickly from behind, grabbing everything off the counter like hungry grade school students on a cafeteria line. Just as quickly as they arrived, they left, trudging down the corridor with Armin and all their heart-stopping snacks in hand.

"Want anything?" Levi asked Mikasa as he pulled out an iced tea for himself from the cooler.

"Snow Caps," she answered without even browsing the selection. "It's practically the law to eat those at movie theaters."

"Is it now? I'm not big on binging at the movies."

With friends like Mikasa's, movies naturally equaled pigging out (or any occasion equaled pigging out, actually), so she was used to being around binge eaters. Seeing Levi's iced tea made her suddenly parched, so she grabbed another bottle for herself from the cooler and leaned back on the counter.

"Are you on a diet or something?" she wondered, and thought she was given the opportunity to ask. Levi was in great shape, and she curiously wondered if he followed a certain diet regiment. Mikasa wouldn't say she strictly dieted, just ate the right things with occasional (okay, a lot of) cheating.

"Not really," he handed the clerk his card. "I'm pretty lax with my diet. But I only indulge in junk foods during certain times. You know how some people only smoke cigarettes after sex and not any other time?"

The blemished-face clerk looked at him strangely, his rashy face reddening more. With some amusement, Mikasa searched Levi's face with a hitched brow, curious where he could be going with that preamble.

"Well, I'm like that with junk foods," he continued, returning his card to his pocket. "I only indulge when I'm writing, or when I'm done writing to reward myself."

Before walking away, they grabbed their drinks and Mikasa stuffed her Snow Caps in her purse. "In other words, you treat yourself like a dog."

He motioned his head back. "That might've been a better comparison than mentioning sex and cigarettes in front of a teenage virgin."

Saying the theater to the Godzilla showing was crowded would've been an understatement—saying the theater was one person shy from breaking fire code would be closer to the mark. With the way everyone was crammed into seats you'd think it was a shelter housing the frightened citizens of Tokyo, waiting for Godzilla to carry out his rampage and wade back into the ocean.

This was to be expected, of course, because really what person doesn't want to see giants terrorizing a peaceful city and all the devastating lives effected by the chaos?

Upon first glance, Mikasa thought there were only single seats left available. What if her and Levi had to watch the movie separately? How awkward. But then, she saw a ray of blond hope. There, in the sea of people, she spotted Armin waving a hand to get her attention. Eren and Jean were seated on either side of him, tug-of-warring over the bucket of popcorn. Armin pointed down in front of him, and there Mikasa saw two available seats, claimed by the trio's jackets. Relieved, Mikasa lead the way, clambering up the slope with Levi until they scooted their way down the seating aisle.

"Thanks for saving us seats," Levi said, wriggling out of his coat before sitting down.

"When I saw how packed it was I thought I should, good thing I did."

"Thanks." Mikasa was grateful she could at least sit next her date on their date, but sitting next to a stranger on her right side wasn't ideal, and having those three behind her wasn't ideal, either. Maybe seeing an action movie on a weekend wasn't the best idea for a first date. They probably would've had the cinema to themselves if they saw a comedy or something less anticipated.

Everyone settled themselves in while the static images advertised on the screen. Mikasa got comfortable by putting her feet up on the seat with her knees close to her chest. Levi poured hand sanitizer on the arm rests and wiped them down with tissues—his way of getting comfortable, Mikasa presumed. Eren had used up two cup holders to contain the two big gulps containing his precious Pepsi. He called it: 'The Mighty Throne of Pepsi.'. After doing something gross like taking off his sandals in a public place, Jean tried to wedge one of his bare feet between the seats Levi and the man sitting next to him were in, but Levi promptly swatted it away and whirled around to give Jean a look that suggested he wouldn't have a foot if he tried that again. Armin ate his gummy bears and talked about something he learned in his class, but after using phrases like "an abundance of animal viscera" and "epidermic removal" everyone slowly stopped chewing and slowly tuned him out. At least he seemed to be enjoying himself.

"The floor is so sticky," Levi intoned, peeling his shoe off the floor. "It's like someone puked up caramel and gummy bears."

Mikasa decided to put her Snow Caps away until everyone stopped saying things that triggered her gag reflex. "Too bad you didn't bring your magic cleaning bag."

"I should've. This theater would've been spick and span by the time this horrid movie was through." He actually sounded disappointed at the missed opportunity. Mikasa just imaged Levi on all fours, crawling his way through each aisle with a rag and squirt bottle as everyone else enjoyed the movie. Given the supplies he'd probably do exactly that. He might be far from romantic but there was something almost charming about his idiosyncrasies, as weird as they may be.

Behind Mikasa and Levi, chattering commenced as the ads flickered from the projector. Massive amounts of crinkling candy bars and slurping soft drinks mingled with a chat that was slowly delving into an argument, and Mikasa was embarrassed to acknowledge that all that noise overpowering the crowded room came from two very noise boys. She also had to acknowledge that her seat kept jerking from Eren's twitchy leg every time when he would throw a comeback at Jean, and poor Armin, seated in the center of them, was an innocent casualty of their war.

"Knock it off," Mikasa spun around, catching a glimpse of Eren flailing his arms toward Jean, with Armin wincing and bracing for the blow. "Eren," she said again. "Why are you even fighting?"

Eren looked at Jean, as if seeking an answer. They fight over such pity shit she would be surprised if either of them could come up with a suffice reply.

"He was hogging the nachos," Jean said and finally pried the plastic tray out of Eren's hands as his guard was down. Eren quickly (and spitefully) grabbed a Kit-Kat bar, knowing it was Jean's favorite, but he seemed pleased with with nachos, and after eating most of them Eren was probably sick of them.

"Problem solved?" Mikasa asked.

The boys shrugged.

"I can't wait to write a shitty review about this movie," Levi said once she turned back around.

"You haven't even seen it yet."

"I'll despise every second of it."

"I'll laugh if you love it."

"Never. Lizards. Love? No." Levi sounded so offended he couldn't form a proper sentence.

"You'll walk out of this theater, talking my ear off and fanboying."

He scoffed. "What alternative universe do you live in?"

"The one where I go on a date with you."

A laugh track went off behind them, and gasping as he was, Eren choked on his Kit-Kat. " _Snap_."

Levi threw back a warning glare, then thrust his gaze back to his date. "I thought I told you to leave your sass in the car."

"I snuck it into the theater. Consider yourself lucky I'm not the type of date who sneaks food in from home and gets kicked out."

The lights dimmed at that moment, and the movie previews of the best summer blockbusters started to show and Levi mostly commented on them in a series of disappointed grunts. Occasionally he would comment about an actor, saying "Wow, she's not dead yet? I thought she had to be dead by now." or "If I could kill one person and get away with it, it would be him."

"I'm not trying to sound cocky and say I could take down Godzilla," Eren started, bored with the trailer of a romantic comedy, "but I can totally take down Godzilla."

Mikasa cupped her forehead with a groan, pinching the center of her brow. Why did these idiots tag along?

"Yeah, okay." Jean laughed sarcastically.

"He's not that big, and he's not all that terrifying," said the boy who scarcely left the house and needed a girl to protect him from bullies half his life.

"Eren, he can wipe out a whole city block with a step," Armin said, only feeding the conversation with replies just to prove the wild theory wrong, "it's impossible on your own."

"I'm telling you guys, I took out Godzilla or something like him in my past life." For some reason, Eren came across a delirious realization and decided to voice it with cringe-worthy sincerity, "Or maybe  _I was Godzilla_. Oh my God."

"Are you high?" Jean asked, cringing a little.

"A little." Eren reached over, his head popping between Mikasa and Levi. "Yo, can I snag a sip off yours?"

"What?" Mikasa pulled away her ice tea, "no, you just bought two big gulps," and she proceeded to push his forehead back.

"But I drank them."

"Weren't we suppose to pretend we didn't know each other?" Mikasa grumbled.

"Just drink mine and leave them alone," Jean offered his drink to Eren with a reluctant sigh.

"Ew," Eren spat as if seeing a cockroach crawl pass. "That's disgusting what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not drinking your horse-infected Sprite."

"This is why I'm not nice to you, asshole!"

Mikasa turned with a " _Shh_ " hissing over a finger on her lips. She felt like a single mom without a sitter, bringing her children along on a date to score them a new daddy. "Knock it off—the movies about to start."

For the first hour into the film, Eren gave no commentary other than impatiently asking, " _Where the fuck is Godzilla_ _?_ " and dramatically drawling, " _Oh my God. I do not care about your boring family. I want to see monsters kill each other._ " But Jean nudged him quiet before earning himself a shush by the fellow movie-goers.

Eren had been in the right ballpark in his complaints, however. Everyone's patience in the packed theater wore thin soon enough.

During the next half, Eren and Jean would groan and curse when given a teased shot of the giant reptile, as if Godzilla was some kind of high profile celeb avoiding the paparazzi camera, or when the action scenes were cut to some uninteresting character. At one point Mikasa caught Levi mumbling a prayer, " _If you can hear me, I promise I will hereby love lizards if you make Godzilla vaporizes the city and put a premature end to this cinematic catastrophe._ "

Mikasa couldn't hold back her own commentary, "This is like a Pacific Rim AU but without the Jaegers, decent characters, and interesting plot."

"And action," Jean added to the list and slurped his Sprite boredly.

The final fight wasn't too bad, albeit dark, but by this time in the movie Mikasa was sick of fighting for the arm rest with Levi. The whole time its been a stubborn battle consisting of elbow nudges and the occasional shoulder bump. When he knocked her arm off a final time, she whipped her gaze to him. Godzilla blew out his atomic breath and the blue glow flickered on his fixated features like a dwindling flame. Finally noticing her stare on him, he turned to her and met her gaze.

"Don't you two even  _think_  about making out right now, I swear to God," Jean warned from behind them. Mikasa honed a dirty look just for her ex and fussily shifted back around to watch the finale.

"What a crap remake." Jean criticized once the credits came rolling. "The classics were better than that."

"Yeah..." Eren agreed with sullen disappointed. "I really wish I actually got to see Godzilla in a movie called Godzilla."

Armin giggled, not as wounded as them. "Maybe he was a finicky actor that refused to go on set unless he had his frappé and his make-up perfect," he tried to uplift the mood and Mikasa smirked at the visualization of the idea. But as soon as her eyes met Levi's her smile flat-lined. It was if the words _'I told ya so'_  were written above his furrowed brow.

"Look at the upside," she told him, "at least you didn't have to see much of the giant lizard you loathe so passionately."

"Believe it or not, the Godzilla scenes were actually tolerable compared to that plot." He rubbed his hands together, as if readying his typing fingers. "Can't wait to write a review. I'm so inspired."

"At least you got something at of it," Eren whined back at him, slumping in his seat. "I wish Godzilla died in the end."

Jean, an obvious Godzilla fanboy, snapped his attention to him. "Why?"

"Sequels," Eren whispered, as if the director was near and might inspire an idea from him.

The five of them left the theater feeling as though they had all been robbed (even though Levi and Jean were the only ones who dished out cash for the tickets), and then, to add to their misery, they were blinded by the bright lights of the hall after departing out of the double doors.

Jean shielded his eyes with a forearm, Armin squinted dazedly, and Eren roared at the burning light like a contender for Godzilla.

"Quick," Mikasa tugged at Levi's sleeve, "let's ditch them while they're blinded." And ditch them they did. They fled out the backdoor that brought them back out to the street, hopped in Levi's mustang, and spun out of the parking garage, and their mutual ranting became the soundtrack of their trip.


	9. Date Night (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had a burst of inspiration, so surprise! Fast update. Is this fic seriously 100k+ already? Geez. I feel like I didn't even dent the surface of this yet. There still much more story left to go. Now that RivaMika is canon in my story, I feel like the plot is just beginning...

Mikasa learned long ago that nothing in this world was perfect or predictable. A good example of this would be the imperfect and unpredictable start to her relationship with Levi. Another recent example would be the first half of their date, which attempted to be flawless and follow a basic dating formula that rarely ever failed, but with her ex-boyfriend, Eren and Armin tagging along and the movie being a behemoth flop, it was neither perfect or predictable, and she was sure Levi didn't get his wish of a romantic evening just yet.

And right now, as they traveled to their next destination, wherever that might be in this gloomy dystopia, Mikasa was reminded of these simple facts of life. Also, she was reminded of the emotional existence of anxiety and fear because she found herself in an imperfect area while an unlimited list of unpredictable scenarios buzzed around her head.

The tightly compressed and litter-ridden road lead the mustang through a grungy strip, populated with condemned homes and decaying factories spotted throughout. Smokey power plants pinned along the smoggy backdrop and every establishment they cruised by was barred with slates of wood or iron grates. Graffiti embellished abandoned, burnt shops and apartments, and a few patches that weren't covered in concrete were overrun by ungroomed foliage. Grimy, pealing signs advertised a Vietnamese restaurant, a pawn shop and liquor store (and Mikasa was certain it was being robbed at gun point at the moment).

Watching the perilous scenery go by, she found herself biting at her polished nail, unable to strip her eyes from the grungy streets, fearing what unpredictable danger would emerge from the fog if she were to look away.

"Why are you bringing me to the sketchy side of city...?"

But before Levi could answer her, she already had her own assumptions piling up in her head.

Damn it all—she was right from the very beginning. Why did she ever listen to Eren? Levi must be an ax-murderer after all. All of the men on dating websites were. He really did have a split personality, like Dexter. Being the sarcastically-charming Levi was how he won people over and lured them into his trap, then he turned into the evil manlet persona and killed his victims.

"Sketchy?" he scoffed offendedly as he sped over a trail of potholes, making Mikasa more jumpy than she already was. "You mean urban and cultural."

Shady characters of all kinds hung out over their fire escapes smoking, drinking and cackling as they followed the car pass below with shifty eyes. Urban and culture. Sure. It felt more like they reached the edge of the world where people hunted each other and law didn't exist. Mikasa found herself holding her breath until they drew to a stop at a red light, where Mikasa sucked in a gasp. If Levi didn't kill her first, then surely they'd get carjack while waiting in idle. Manually locking her side of the door as a precaution, she sunk back in her seat.

A cop car with sirens blaring blew the light and raced down the strip to stop a girl working the curb, and shades of red and blue flogged over the idling couple. At the end of the crosswalk, there were some unmannerly thugs walking across, yelling loudly at another group (wearing opposing colors, Mikasa noted) on the other side of the street.

Great. There's going to be a gang war and she's going to be casualty of crime, stuck amid a hail of bullets. Eren would probably hear of her heroic death on the news and later starve to death because he doesn't know how to shop for himself. She told him countless times that new food doesn't magically appear when he reopened the fridge door, but he just doesn't understand. Poor thing doesn't have a chance without her.

By the time she jarred out of her tragic reverie, the thugs met up, exchanged friendly hand shakes and walked off together in harmony. She let out a bottled up breath and hung her head. Why would Levi bring her somewhere like this?

"I used to live around here after I was discharged from the army, before my writing career picked up." It was as if he read her mind. "And I have family and friends that still live and work in this area."

"Oh." She didn't know the area held a special place to him. "I'm sorry I called it sketchy. That's judgmental. As a kid I grew up in a small village, so places like this are new worlds to me. When I was little the worst place I passed by was the local pub that housed drunk old men."

"It's fine, I get it. You're not wrong to be on your guard. I lost count of the muggings and robberies I witnessed around here. I even had my old apartment broken into a few times—but the burglars ended up being the real victims. Not to mention this area is filthy and polluted, but it was home for a while. I also used to live around here as a kid as well."

"Really?"

"Yeah, before my stay at the farm I lived around here with my father."

"Does he still live around here?" she subtly craned over to him, curious. This was the first time he ever alluded to the topic of his parents.

"Don't know." Levi went stoically quiet then, and so did Mikasa. If Levi didn't know where his father's current whereabouts were, that suggested his relationship with him either sucked or Levi was abandoned by him. It wouldn't be right to pry.

A few blocks later, they pulled to another stop, but this time Levi collected his keys from the ignition and left the car wordlessly, but Mikasa paid no mind as she gazed out the glass window. Overhead, under the starless sky, a golden neon sign wanly blinked and hummed down at her from across the street.

The car door opened from the outside a beat later, and as Levi stood there, lending out a hand, Mikasa noted his attempt at being chivalrous. "The Underground?" she read the sign, grazing his had briefly as she stepped out.

"Since you're so afraid of the area I take it you've never been here before."

Standing, she moved her gaze down to him and shook her head.

Levi led the way, walking her across the street. The patched-up tar smeared in various neon lights and old dirty snow fringed the edges, like the businesses found it too troublesome to shovel. Being mindful not to step on the steaming manhole, they stepped up the curb and Mikasa diverted her attention from their destination to take a cautious look around. The streets were so quiet and abandoned in this corner of the city; nothing but a distant siren heard in the far distance. A chill ran up her spine—she was suddenly reminded of the eerie atmosphere in a Silent Hill video game she watched Eren play a few times.

The somber neon glow gave way no useful light, but from what she could see, a closed-in iron gate skirted around what appeared to be a black void, like an endless rabbit hole located in the middle of the city. When the street lamp finally flicked on, Mikasa saw the outline of an iron staircase leading to an abused metal door, diffused with dents and scratches. Alongside it were two girls gabbing and smoking.

Levi preceded down without hesitation, over-familiar with his surroundings, but Mikasa only managed to brave one step before she froze placidly still. "I don't really feel comfortable," she maundered, squeezing the strap of her purse as tight as the reins of a wild horse.

Cocking his head with an annoyed shake, Levi re-climbed a few steps, cuffed her wrists and urged her with a tug. "Haven't you learned by now not to judge a book by its cover?"

"But this isn't a book. This is a bad neighborhood and we're going down dodgy steps to an even dodgier looking door that likely leads to a homicidal masquerade."

Levi's eyes painted over her sincerely. "They hold the homicidal masquerade on Tuesday nights. Saturday is Open Mic night. We're safe."

Her lip twitched crookedly, unsure whether to smile or frown. "Why can't you be a normal date and bring me to Applebee's? It was right next to the cinema."

"I was forced to watch a movie you like, now you're forced to go to a restaurant I like."

From this angle, with him a few steps below her, he looked even more compact, and his face was softly pleading like a polite child tugging at his mother for her attention.

How could anyone say no to that face.

She plodded down a few steps in defeat. Levi, with a lifted expression, fell into her stride and descended down with her, still holding her by the wrist. With every step she took, she heard the hard pound of bass—unless that was just her heart throbbing in anticipation.

"You can pick where we go next time," he offered.

"If there is a next time," she mumbled, "I'll probably be cut up, roasted in the oven and served as the main course for the cannibal cook-off."

"Main course? Don't flatter yourself, you'd be an entrèe."

"You would be a small portion appetizer on the kids menu."

"I want to be mad at you for saying that, but I'm proud of your recent improvement with short jokes."

His hand slipped down her wrist then, and their fingers gently weaved together. In that single moment his hand had absorbed all fear from her, and as ridiculous as she felt for believing something so childish, she thought that so long as Levi held her hand she could be brave enough to pass through any dodgy door.

But then, a crowd of panic amplified in her head— _he_ _'_ _s holding my hand_ _again. I_ _s he trying to make me_ _melt?_ —but her panic drowned out when Levi reached for the door and unleashed a wild gust of sound and activity as if to greet them upon stepping inside The Underground. Gesturing her inside, Mikasa was stunned by the heaps of action, music, drunken laughter and glasses clanging. From the looks of the rundown warehouse outside you would  _never_  know such bustling life was hidden inside.

"Big Bro!" came a voice that started from the left and ended in front of them in a fast stride. "Wow!" The spirited girl, presumably an employee, flounced in front of Mikasa, making her tip back from the beaming energy charging into her face. "This is your date? No way! You were right, she's HOT!"

". . . . . ." Levi gave the girl a deadpan stare as he let out a very threatening-sounding cough, which made the girl nervously bounce back, spewing sputters as she waved her hands in dismissal. Moving her fist to her mouth, she cleared her own throat as she clacked her heels together to stand up straighter.

"Right, right," she winked, like she received some hidden message. "I'm Isabel, and I'll be happy to seat you this evening!"

"You're not a hostess," said a sharp scold from a man emerging behind Isabel. "Get back in the damn kitchen, you have six orders to make." The man rocked his head at the troublesome employee, but in doing so his sight fell on Levi and Mikasa stand dormant before him. Within seconds, his whole demeanor changed, too. "Oh, Levi, you're here. Welcome," he greeted chipperly.

"Shh!" Isabel yanked the man down to her level by the collar. "We're suppose to pretend we don't know him personally. Treat him like an ordinary customer. We don't want to embarrass big bro in front of his date."

Mikasa had a feeling they already failed that mission based on the way Levi swayed impatiently in his spot like a wobbling tower about to cause to destruction to everyone who happened to be near.

"Right," he whispered back and erected up. "I'm Farlan. Welcome to The Underground."

"You're right," Levi leaned into Mikasa. "We should've gone to Applebee's."

Mikasa tittered back at him, but the duo in front of them was too set on failing at being professional to notice that their acting wasn't being well-received.

Grabbing two menu's from the podium, Isabel twisted back to them. "If you'd just follow me Mr. Ackerman," giggling, she broke away, then crooked her neck back to Mikasa, "Oh, and you would be Miss...?"

Mikasa found her shoes glued to the floor. "...Ackerman."

Levi stepped back, tilting his head up with a squinting glare. "What?"

"My last name," her voice faltered, "is Ackerman."

The wide-eyed redhead yanked a very dazed Levi to the side, whispering in a way that could be heard clearly across the entire restaurant. "What the hell, Levi?! Did you guys tie the knot already? It's too soon!" She pounded a fist on his chest, distraught. "Why wasn't I invited to the ceremony?"

" _Huh_?" He blinked down at her, completely thrown by a loop. "I didn't even know her last name until now."

Mikasa just continued to stand there, still as stone as she contemplated this new reveal in her and Levi's developing relationship. Out of all the damn surnames in this world, Levi had to have  _that one_. It could've been Palmer, Handler, Armstrong, Durden... But no. It had to be  _Acker-_ _fucking-_ _man_. The unpredictable Levi strikes again, diminishing quite a few points from Mikasa's mental health bar.

With his head swaying in thought, Farlan folded his arms, shifting his gaze between them. "Do you guys still want a table...or a blood test?"

Peeved, Levi knocked into his shoulder and urged Isabel with a nudge on the back to escort them out of this vaguely mind blowing scene.

The music blaring from amp set around helped drown out all of Mikasa's confusion. Voices shouted over the vocals, and dishware clattered on. Servers flew pass with raised plates and the bar along the back wall cluttered with staggering drunks spilling their beer as a clamor of laughter teemed wildly. On the way, Levi requested a seat toward the back and they passed rows of tables, catching a word or two of table talk from each until they arrived in a quiet alcove of the restaurant, where a few others that preferred a quieter dinning experience were seated.

The cozy area was dyed with multicolored streams of pastel hues from the accented string lights hung along the trim, and candles with mosaic casings adorned each table and expelled a small source of dwindling light.

Their table was located along the wall, and when they shook out of their coats and took their respected seats, their faces washed in the somber glow of various soothing lights while a constant thump from faraway music swam around them. The wall was fashioned with multicolored cinder blocks, embellished with hundredths of markings consisting of names, illustrations and messages in the painted stone. Most messages consisted of quotes; some famous, some original, some just pointless words and doodles, all with the writers/artists name beneath.

"It's kind of a tradition for every customer to write something," Levi explained as he flourished a finger around at the wall that looked more like the back page of Mikasa's high school yearbook. Mikasa marveled at the mural, tracing her eyes over each passage. "Have you ever wrote something?"

Levi squinted up at the massive wall, studying it as if trying to translate the ancient scriptures in an Egyptian tomb. "A long time ago, back when this wall was bare. I lost track of where it was..." he double checked, trying to search for the hidden passage in his handwriting among the hundredths of others. He gave up and shifted his attention to her. "I recall it being a Friedrich Nietzsche quote, because I was fond of his quotes at he time. I think it was," he paused a second to recall the citation, " _The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly._ "

Smiling shyly, she skimmed her fingernail over the table and said, "I like that," before she moved her eyes aside to take a better look around.

The Underground was a grimy, ill-lite establishment with an austere charm. Eroded and obviously out-of-place chandeliers hung from the ceiling, and paintings with chipped frames and rips on the canvas fashioned some walls. Every chair in the dining area was a different style from a different era. Levi's chair almost looked medieval; hard and cruel, and Mikasa sat in a round and funky-patterned one.

The overall décor gave off a Victorian-meets-90s Grunge vibe. It was like a designer with a low budget and rich taste fashioned the place.

"You were right," she started, dragging her eyes back to Levi. "I shouldn't have judged a book by its cover. This is a pretty cool spot." Way better than the clubs and restaurants around campus, by far.

"Glad you think so. This is one of my favorite spots in the city." It looked as if Levi wanted to elaborate more, but a bubbly energy manifested before their table and stole all the attention for herself.

"Hi there!" The bouncing brunette said. "My names— _M_ _ikasa_?!"

Levi flicked his elusive blues between the waitress and Mikasa a few times before expressing a sigh. "A lot of people have the same names around here."

Mikasa's eyes widened up at the gawking server, her lips straining to move. "Sasha? You—you work  _here_?"

"O-M-G!" Sasha actually spelled out, which made Levi physically flinch like a cat sprayed with water.

Reeling in close, Sasha inspected Levi for a moment, the same way a jeweler might inspect a diamond. Then, in a flash, she ducked down to Mikasa's side of the table, shielding them both with the menu to grant them privacy. "This is the guy? This is  _Levi_?"

"Yes... I told you we were going out. I didn't plan to see you here, though," she didn't plan on most of the company that had popped up on their date this evening, she realized. Recalling, Sasha never did tell her where she worked, only that it was in the shady side of the city. The rare odds always seemed to be in favor when Levi was around.

"I know this guy. He came in the other day to visit my bosses. He an awesome tipper!"

"Sasha—"

The unprofessional waitress peeled over the line of the menu to peek at Levi, then hunched back down. "He is actually pretty cute. He's got that whole mysterious vibe about him~" she giggled, swaying flirtatiously.

"Can we talk about this later?" Mikasa whispered back but didn't know why she bothered to lower her voice because Levi needed to be deaf not too hear the conversation behind a thin menu.

"Oh, yeah yeah," she popped back up, smoothed out her apron and tried to compose her excitement long enough to take their order. "If you guys know what you want I could put your order in right away."

"We haven't even looked at the menu yet," Mikasa said as she flipped it open for the first time.

"Did you like those jalapeño poppers?" Sasha dismissed her and asked Levi.

"Oh yes," he bobbed his head condescendingly, browsing through the menu. "My smoldering tongue still tastes them. We won't be having any of those, thanks."

"We? Speak for yourself," Mikasa nodded up at Sasha. "They sound good. Put me down for an order."

As Sasha scribbled in her pad, Levi glared at her skeptically. "If you can honestly eat a whole plate of those I'm calling a priest and having you exercised."

Mikasa shrugged. "I'm immune to spicy foods. I put hot sauce on practically everything."

Nosily, Sasha motioned her head back and forth between the speakers, her pony tail whipping behind her.

Levi cringed. "How do you have a stomach left?"

"Spicy foods speed up your metabolism, and has many other healthy benefits."

"I rather run ten extra minutes on the treadmill than burn my mouth off with every meal."

"I should've know," she riffled through the drink section with a sigh, "you do love hogging gym equipment."

Catching onto the allude, Sasha giggled, then pointed her pen down at Levi. "So...no popper's?"

"No," he dropped his gaze to a spot on the menu. "I'll have—"

"Don't even _try_  to order salad again," Sasha scolded, her hand on her hip.

"Why not?"

"That's such a lame appetizer!" Frustrated, Sasha scribbled in her note, and it was eerie how her mood shifted. "You know what? Don't worry about it. I got your order logged."

"But I didn't—"

As she propped her pen back behind her ear, she kept her shineless eyes on him. "Don't worry about it," she repeated and spun on her heel.

Slowly and stunned, Levi returned his attention back to Mikasa. "Friend of yours?"

"Yes. Remember the obnoxious one I told you about who's crazy about food?"

Levi rested his cheek on his knuckles. "In all my years of dining out, I never once had a waitress order for me and tell me not to worry about it. What do you think she'll bring me?"

"Knowing Sasha, everything."

"I think she's trying to fatten me up."

"She's just insulted by healthy eaters. When I first arrived here from Japan, she told me American's are insulted by salads and anything that had a sugar-free label on it. As a naïve exchange student I actually believed her for a while."

Levi chuckled, shaking his head. "I was skeptical at first, but I think your friends are on par with my weird friends."

"Told ya' so," she said, and she loved being right.

"Speaking of friends," Levi lounged back in his throne of a chair, supporting his elbow on the backrest. "What is Eren to you? Can't say I got much of a friend-vibe from the two of you."

Describing her and Eren's relationship was always difficult. For Levi's sake, she decided to put it into the most simplest terms. "I see him more as little brother, even though we're the same age. My father's from America and had always been good friends with Eren's parents, so they took me in when I decided to study abroad. Eren and I were practically raised together, so that's why I see him as family."

"Ah, I see."

"I couldn't help but noticed you seem to be close to—what were there names?" she paused to recall, and in doing so she spotted them in the heart of the restaurant, the strict man was running after the free-spirited girl. "Isabel and Farlan—are they close friends of yours?"

"More like family," his lips curled into a warm grin, and Mikasa could tell based on that that they were very special to him.

"Siblings?"

"Yes. Well, foster siblings. We're not actually related."

"Oh, I see." Sasha returned with the drinks they never even ordered, setting them down while looking between the couple excitably, looking for their reactions. From the look on their faces, they were surprised to see two frothy glasses of champagne. The surprise soon dwindled from Levi, though, and he held up the drink, returning it to Sasha. "I'm driving. Could I get something non-alcoholic?"

"How responsible," Sasha flaunted a smirk with a spring in her shoulders. Sasha was loving every second of witnessing Mikasa's date from a front row seat, she could see it in her sparkling eyes.

"Not really. It's just I'm already a shitty driver and I don't need to add a D.U.I. to my driving record."

"I'm pretty sure you drinking and driving would result in the apocalypse," Mikasa agreed. "I'm not driving, so I'll hold on to this." She toasted to herself and upended the glass, and that was the beginning of Mikasa's first course consisting of booze. While they waited for their order to arrive, she filled up on champagne and Levi drummed his nails against the surface of the table impatiently. Shortly after she received a third refill, Levi shifted closer to the table.

"Given that it's busy and Isabel likes to socialize more than cook, I have a feeling we'll have quite a wait," Levi started, slipping out a Sharpie from behind the napkin dispenser. "In the meantime, wanna write something on the wall?"

Tucking her lip in thought, she lifted her shoulders submissively. "Sure, why not?"

After he handed the marker to her, she tapped the cap against her chin in thought. Then, with a quote in mind, she reached up high to a clear patch and scrawled in her native language:

「今を楽しめ

ーミカサ」

"Oho, exotic." Levi bobbed his head in approval. "Translation?"

"Carpe Diem, followed by my name."

"Appropriate," he commented as Mikasa slid the cap back on. "Albeit cliché, but given that you wrote a Latin quote in Japanese you dodged the mainstream bullet."

"Be that as it may, it still suits the situation." If this was a dating simulation game, Levi definitely would've lost crucial relationship points for talking like a hipster just then, but she decided to keep the score to herself until she tallied it up at the end.

Looking back up at the passage, she felt as if her scrawl was a declaration or a promise, to herself and to Levi, that there would be no more dwelling about the past or the future. For the past few days she couldn't let go of the troubling start with Levi, but that had became an event of the past now. She just wanted to forget about that, and she didn't want to worry about the future, either, particularly concerning whether or not Levi was even right for her or if this relationship was heading anywhere significant. She just wanted to enjoy the present, and at the moment, she immensely enjoyed the now.

"So," Levi stirred the ice cubes in his glass, obviously trying to mined for a conversation piece. A foreboding weight dropped in Mikasa's stomach, bracing her for what he was about to bring up. As much as she wanted to ignore it, she knew it would come up sooner or later. "It seems as though we both have the same last name."

"Yeah."

"Another unexpected plot twist."

"Yep."

She wanted to get as far away from this awkward topic as possible. Shifting her head around, the holiday decorations spotted about the restaurant inspired a topic, "What are your plans for Christmas?"

He sipped his beverage thoughtfully, then set his glass down. "Now might be a good time to tell you I'm Jewish."

"Oh. Well, fun fact."

"Really, you didn't figure it out yet?" A brow perched up high. "My name is Levi Ackerman. That roughly translates to:  _'Shalom, I'm Jewish.'_ "

"But my surname is Ackerman and I'm not Jewish."

"...Good point."

In spite of her efforts to escape the last name discussion, they did a 360 and landed right back into the whole Awkward Ackerman thing.

"Anyway," she skipped ungracefully over the topic, setting her elbows on the table to feign a relaxed posture. "What are your plans for Hanukkah, then?"

"I haven't really celebrated it in a long time."

"Then what do you do this time of year?" Seeing Levi's spirits lower suddenly, she perked up, opt on fixing that. "Let me guess, the ghosts of the past, present and future visit your bedroom to show you your lonely life as a miserable old man if you don't change your attitude?"

Playing along, he bobbed his head. "The truth is, my last name is actually Scrooge and it's quite a bother how they barge in my bedroom every year. It's worse than in-laws coming to town, I'd imagine. Those apparitions are very persistent despite me making zero effort."

"How heartless. Think of Tiny Tim, Levi. The two of you share something in common, after all."

"Very funny, but the jokes you. I love that movie. All versions of it."

"Even the Muppet one?"

"Even the Muppet one." They smiled bashfully together. "So, I guess that sort of answers your question. I lay around and watch crappy movies this time of year. And then there's my birthday, too, but I don't really celebrate that either."

"Is your birthday coming up? When is it?"

"December 25th."

Mikasa swished her champagne around, already seeing a fuzz fringe her vision. "Whadaya know, the devil shares the same birthday as Jesus. Another fun fact."

"Actually..." Just with that preamble, she knew Levi was about to become a buzz kill. "It's believed that Jesus was born in March, but the date changed to December 25th to make it easier for the Pagan's to covert to Christianity."

"Okay, smartass. This isn't bible study." Easy to see who was sober and who wasn't. Her life did kind of feel like a lie after learning that.

"And what are you plans for the holidays?" he asked in return.

"I'm going away for a week to visit my parents. Not much else. The time spent with my folks is aggressively uneventful."

Levi nodded, looking around for more to say before his eyes set on her again wearily. "Okay, listen, I can't keep making idle chatter while the Ackerman thing is clearly hovering above our heads. It's bothering me."

She took a needed chug of alcohol to replenish her nerves. "So what? We have the same last name. It's not a big deal," said the hypocrite who only pretended to make light of it when she herself was thrown by a loop from the unexpected twist. She tried to tell herself it was just an odd coincidence, and considering her and Levi's track record so far, they were naturally prone to Awkward Coincidences.

"Yeah, but knowing us and our ability to make unintentionally plot twists regarding our relationship, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up being related." Levi slumped languidly, leaning his head into his hand. "That would be the final slap to the face from the stars that bestowed that curse on us."

"Don't even joke about that. That's not even possible," she said, quickly doing the math in her head to be sure. After subtracting Levi's age from her father's she concluded that no, it was not possible.

"Are you sure? Maybe we  _should_ get a blood test to be sure. I don't want any psycho kids like Joffrey running around—not that I'm thinking about children yet," realizing he said too much, he drowned himself in his drink.

Batting her lashes rapidly, she filtered the thought of having children with a man she hardly knew. Either he spoke without thinking or the old man's fertile clock was ticking. However, something more puzzling arrived on the forefront of her mind. "Who's Joffrey?"

"The incestuous bastard from Game of Thrones. Someone needs a subscription to HBO," he looked at her with a dose of disappointment.

Mikasa didn't feel like pointing out that Levi seemed to only take issue with having a crazy child in the event that they were related, but prolonging an incestuous relationship was A-OK in his book. "I've heard about it from Eren—you know, if you can look past the disheveled appearance, body odor and loud mouth, you'd probably hit it off with him."

"If you give me a flea comb, a gallon of shampoo and a muzzle, I might actually  _try_  to get along with Eren."

She repressed a smirk, she found herself doing that a lot with Levi. "Anyway, I'm not sure if you were joking or not, but really, no worry about crazy offspring's. You're only about eight years older than my father."

Levi's pursing lips stalled over the brim of his glass. "You're suppose to flatter your date, not make them feel old."

"But you are old."

"You're not getting dessert."

"I hope Sasha brings you something spicy."

One of the higher deities in the world must've answered her prayers, because Sasha actually did. Mikasa never thought she'd gain personal satisfaction from watching a date slowly realize that they had just put a spoonful of fire in their mouth, but she did and she didn't even feel guilty.

Levi reiterated his promise to have a priest exercise Mikasa after calling her a devil-spawn for predicting the future. How romantically charming. After he recovered from three degree burns, he reordered a spiceless platter from another server, then they got back on track with their table-talk.

"Let's talk first impressions," he said, dabbing his mouth on a napkin.

"Can we focus on the one we're on right now?" she tossed a popper in her mouth, which Levi had called Satan's balls on a plate before hitting her with this. "The first one still kind of triggers me."

"Stop the Dumblr talk and cooperate," he rattled his utensil down. "What did you think of me when you first saw me? And not me, as the man you forgave after the fact, but the guy you hated in the gym. What was your initial thought about me?"

Noting the genuine curiosity brimming in his eyes, she swallowed and gave a spicy sigh. "I was thinking about The Wizard of Oz."

With the way he shifted in his seat, it looked as if he didn't know whether to heave back from confusion or lean forward in curiosity. "...Why?"

"Because you had a deep voice, and I didn't expect that. The Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz had very high-pitched voices."

He gritted his teeth, thrusting his chest out before expelling a penetrating rasp. "Do I look like a member of the fucking Lollipop Guild to you?"

Finding it redundant to agree to the obvious, she went over him, unfazed, "I also thought about how your were short, pale and subjectively handsome and how you were a small extremity."

"Extremity?" his tsked. "Let me guess, extremely small?"

"No, more like you're a bundle of extreme components in a compact package. To me, you have good taste in fashion and you're a handsome, well-built man, but because of the way you carry yourself, you seem smaller than you are—and I don't mean that in stature sense, I'm referring to your aura. You have extreme traits that should be ogled at by others, but they aren't widely projected as they should be, hence small extremity. Unlike most people, who carry themselves high and offer smiles to others, you seem to go out of your way to look as miserable as possible and you make yourself unapproachable, on purpose, might I add. And I think, despite you having good physique traits, you're invisible to public."

He hung his head, a little wounded. "I guess I'll just have to accept you insulting me if I want to continue seeing you."

"I'm complimenting you. I find you quite fascinating."

His brows bunched in the center, not following. "Is that how your generation compliments people? In that case, I feel deeply loved and my ego is about to burst."

"Don't explode yet. I'm not finished. You're a small extremity in regards to looks, but personalty-wise? You're really over the top."

He tilted his head at her, undoubtedly suffering whiplash from the abrupt switch. "...Really? Believe it or not I consider myself to be quite self-effacing."

"I could tell, but when you do open up it's like a bomb going off. You're unpredictable. You also refuse to censor yourself like most civilized humans, as far as I could tell. You speak your mind and say exactly what you like and hate, even as controversial as some topics may be. Even so, you aren't a total jerk, and you do correct yourself and apologize when you do say something out of line, meaning you aren't just an arrogant lost cause; you still have a conscious unlike most over-opinionated people. At the same time, you're a private person, and I'm sure you often leave people in the dark concerning vital aspects about yourself; like you'll give everyone nine-hundred and ninety-nine pieces of a thousand piece puzzle and keep the last piece to yourself so they'll never complete the picture."

Levi was just sitting there, deeply heeding every single word that poured from her lips as he stroked his chin. He wore this elusive look until a Mona Lisa smile crept across his face—and that's when Mikasa downcasted her gaze, abashed suddenly. She had diverted off the topic of first impressions quite a long time ago and went overboard.

"I know," her fist clenched on the table. "I probably sound ridiculous for thinking this deep about insignificant things that probably don't even make sense, but since I'm pursuing a career in law enforcement I try my best to read people—I might not be accurate yet."

"I think you hit the mark pretty close." A fond look swept across his face, and he lavished her with those shards of blue.

Before she melted into a steaming puddle from the heated stare, she retracted her gaze from him again. "So, what about you? Your first thoughts?"

He leaned back, getting comfortable before spilling out, "I first saw you stretching and thought, well, I thought you were attractive." Blinking a few times, he waved off what he said with a flick of the wrist. "I can't lie to your face after you were so honest with me. I was actually checking out your ass."

This was how Mikasa knew Levi didn't censor himself. Even as controversial as what he spilled out might be, he says it, with a straight face on top of it. Most gentlemen would rather bend over backward and snap their spine than actually admit they were staring at a girl's ass directly to her face.

"But I didn't know you wanted go use my machine at first—you were looking around a lot so I figured you were meeting up with someone."

"Yeah, I was looking for  _you_. If only I directed my gaze a little lower."

"You're short insults never get old," he praised lifelessly, "please keep them coming."

"Later. Tell me more," she wove her fingers into a bridge and placed her chin atop.

He cleared his throat. "Well, once I pried my eyes from your ass, I realized you were quite beautiful, but I was disappointed once you opened your mouth. I thought,  _'W_ _hy are all_ _t_ _he attractive girls rude bimbos?_ '"

Hearing him say that made ire rise inside her all over again. "But  _why_  did you assume I was a dumb bimbo in the first place? I still don't understand that and that's what started the whole fight."

"I might be slightly prejudice against your generation. No offense, but I think you're all a bunch of disrespect brats. With that pre-made assumption in mind, you approached me and asked if I'd be done soon, and I took it as  _'_ _princess bimbo has arrived, please make room, peasant._ _'_ "

"But I wasn't trying to be rude. I might've sounded a little sharp because I was running short on time, but then you accused me of being a demanding princess and then shit hit the fan because I am anything but that."

"I know now that I was wrong to assume that," he agreed sullenly. "That's why, once I gave it some thought, I realized that I was in fact in the wrong—and I never own up to my faults, but I knew the girl I talked to online wasn't a rude bimbo. She was a fresh breath of air, a rare breed of human I hadn't ever met before."

Repressing a smirk this time wasn't possible—a fully developed smile sliced across Mikasa's face.

"Her sharp-wit was honed as much as mine, and the raw passion she would share with me tickled my muse in a way it never was before. The way she could support my pessimism while still billowing supportive energy toward me was a welcomed respite," Levi's lips twitched into a bashful grin, and he went on, omitting the third-person speech. "I realized you behaved that way because I pushed my wrong assumptions onto you, and I felt horrible for being the one responsible for berating a person I enjoyed the company of so much. Anyway, it's just as I said before, I had a lot of bad experiences with your generation, so again, I'm a bit prejudice."

Stroking her cheek thoughtfully, she nodded, filing all his sweet words to reflect on later. "Now I'm wondering...if you don't like my generation, why did you talk to me in the first place online?"

"That's a good question," he sunk back, woving his fingers atop of his midsection. "Honestly, when you first messaged me, I skimmed through your profile and spotted your age and I almost didn't write back—but then I saw your interests were vastly different than most of the girls around your age that I checked out on the site before you. Most girls your age said partying, shopping and Facebook were their hobbies, and they had a million and a half Instagram edited pictures of themselves. But there you were, saying you liked working-out, fighting, and reading with no profile picture in sight. That told me you kept your mind and body healthy and the lack of picture told me you wanted someone who liked you for  _you_ , and it also told me you weren't vain, even though with your looks you have every damn right to be. I figured you were an older soul or at least a rare species among your peers."

Thank God for this wan lighting—her cheeks was igniting with inextinguishable warmth. Trying to play it cool, she said, "I'm happy I could be the prototype to convince you my whole generation isn't total untamed animals."

"And I'm glad I gave you a go despite my initial prejudice—even with the age gap we have a lot in common, plus there was that random mention of you being a C cup and that helped motivate me to give you a shot, too."

_Uncensored_   _L_ _evi strikes again._

"Like I told you," she sputtered, the pink hue deepening across her cheeks. "Eren—"

"It's still true," he cut her off, parting his gaze from her eyes to flick them down pointedly to her chest.

"Unlike your height," she delivered bitterly, crossing her arms high on her chest.

"It's a matter of three inches, Mikasa."

"Three inches makes a big difference," her smile drowned in the bubbling champagne so Levi couldn't see. If every man of average size thought it wasn't a big deal to exaggerate and add a few inches to their length, their would be a lot of men alleging ruler sized dicks and many disappointed partners.

"I knew you were bold, but who would've thought you were bold enough to make sexual innuendos in public. For shame."

Mikasa must train herself to be more careful; Levi was more observant than her dim-witted friends.

It wasn't until Levi and Mikasa finished all their motley courses that the personal bubble they created together popped, letting in a sudden disruption.

"Pardon the interruption," Farlan, the popper of said bubble approached, looking winded and frantic. "Levi," he took a second to gather his breath, and as he did he held a hand out to Mikasa in a half wave. "I know you're in the middle of something here, and we're suppose to pretend we don't know you or whatever?" he gestured his hands in a confused motion, "but Isabel is about to drive out all my customers and I don't know what to do."

Mikasa's lips arched down, puzzled by his words and the evident sense of panic he expressed. How could such a sweet girl drive out all the customers? What could she possibly do? Levi must've wondered the same because he asked, "How? What's going on?"

Farlan sealed his eyes tight, balancing his weary weight on the table. Mikasa found herself bracing for impact. "She's going on break in five minutes and said she's going to sing a song on karaoke."

"We have to leave," Levi seemed to know something Mikasa didn't as he scrambled away from the table, ready to dart out as if Farlan just told him a bomb threat was called in. Mikasa gawked, staying in her chair even though this gravitational pull told her she should join Levi.

"You're just going to leave?" Farlan spun around to tug him desperately back. "No—you have to talk her out of this! We have a full house tonight and I'm not loosing all these customers!"

"Wait...I don't get it," Mikasa looked up at frantic men in turn. "What's the problem here?"

After exchanging a glance at each other, Farlan and Levi looked at her like a naïve child that hadn't yet faced the horrors of the world.

"What?" she pegged.

"Isabel..." Levi motioned his head around, making sure what he was about to say stayed between the three of them, "is a  _horrible_  singer."

Mikasa eyes rolled skyward with a ragged groan. What an anticlimactic reveal. "You're really need to stop being so hard on people, Levi. She can't be  _that_  bad."

"No, it's true." Farlan confirmed sincerely. "Her voice is—" Farlan trailed off into silence, scratching his chin.

But Levi, on the other hand, had the words and similes already prepared. "—More cracked than a prepubescent boy, and so high every wild stray will come running."

Not following the grave looking men standing over her with worried aura at all, she simply shrugged. "I think you guys are exaggerating. Karaoke is for fun, not everyone is great at it but the customers will understand she's not a professional singer."

"We got an optimist." Levi crossed his arms testily, rattling his head like he just wanted to drop everything and leave.

She eyed him crossly before Farlan stole back her attention. "You never heard her sing before," Farlan insisted. "If it's so  _fun_ , then why don't  _you_  go up there and sing? If the machine is occupied during her break she won't get to sing."

Levi eyed Mikasa with double intentions stored in his conniving blues as he sat back down. "Not a bad idea."

"Uh, I don't sing," publicly, at least.

Farlan was about to persuade her, but snipped his speech prematurely just as Isabel passed by on a food run, cooing to herself. "Woo! I think I'll sing  _KE$HA_  tonight!" Then, she gave a small sample, singing a bit of " _Your Love is my Drug_ " and Mikasa momentarily felt like something crawled in her ear, gave birth to shrieking devil-spawns, then died and decayed in her ear—all that in a matter of five seconds. What would an entire song sound like?

"...Oh God, please have mercy and spare me," Levi pinched the creases on his forehead as his eyes pleaded on Mikasa. "She's going to sing  _KE$HA_  on top of it? We're all doomed."

"Mikasa, please," Farlan bowed in front of her, on his knees. Desperate mode: Activated.

"Yeah. Get up there. You're the only one that could advert this impending crises."

Scanning her eyes across the busy restaurant, she spotted the empty stage and her chest fluttered—until that swarm in her chest went rogue and she lashed back at Levi. "What do you mean  _get up there_? Why don't  _you_  sing?"

"I would probably make more people leave than her if I got up there."

"Sing Mikasa, please!" Farlan begged once more.

"Mikasa wants to sing?" Isabella heard in passing, looking delighted. "You totally should! Everyone's too shy to get up there tonight for Open Mic, so I was going to break the ice for everyone and lead but if you want to..."

With her encouragement she actually considered it, but regardless of what Levi and Farlan said, she didn't feel right about actually stealing her turn. "But... I heard you wanted to sing, and I don't want to steal your turn."

An intentional light kick under the table later, Mikasa ducked to cradle her shin, then kicked back not-so-lightly as she bare her teeth and hissed. "Ow, you little..."

"No way, go go!" Isabel obliviously insisted. "I can sing next Saturday!"

"Uh... well, I didn't actually decide yet..." On one hand she didn't feel like she had a choice, on the other she felt that only mere shyness was holding her back and it wasn't actually as big of a deal as her anxiety made it out to be—but anxiety, of course, was always enough reason not to do something.

"C'mon, Mikasa," Levi tapped the passage she wrote on the wall, using it against her. "Carpe Diem."

Her flaring eyes narrowed on him harshly. "I will seize your throat and make it your last day if you make me do this."

Singing karaoke, unfortunately, regrettably, and unbelievably,  _did_  become a part of her day. Mikasa regretted her sudden Carpe Diem lifestyle, because if she did think of the future earlier and wasn't so absorbed in the present, she might've averted this whole mess.

"I need to get a closer look for this," Levi lifted up from the table with her soon after she accepted the challenge, bringing his drink with him so he would have something to wet his whistle with as he mocked her. She pumped with so much anger and embarrassment she nearly thought she'd faint during the walk to the stage.

Isabel was kind enough to help her pick out a song on the digital screen as she pumped her with encouragement. Mikasa ended up picking the first song she recognized to get this over with. "Second Go" by  _Lights_.

When Mikasa clamored up the steps and arrived in the center of the stage, she spotted Levi off to the side, shooting her a not-so-encouraging thumbs up and she shook her head at him in that  _fuck you_ kind of way. There were so many people. That uproarious atmosphere that first greeted her when she arrived in The Underground had completely evaporated—every customer, from diners to dancers to drunks were all  _staring_  at her. She nearly left her post at the mic stand, thinking it might be more rewarding to see Levi disappointed and suffer instead, but when the track came on, the familiar tune mollified her just enough to keep her rooted in her spot.  _Lights_  was known to give Mikasa's mood a boost, and she needed that a lot right now.

As she waited for the beginning instrumentals to let up, she felt a sense of awkwardness she never had experienced before as an abundance of fixated eyes watched her, demanding to be entertained. At least Levi was having a wonderful time as an audience member. So many dating-simulation points were being subtracted at this very moment, the dumbass doesn't even know it yet.

During the first verse, Mikasa found it a challenge to raise her voice over the music, like something deep in her throat was clutching at the notes and wouldn't allow them to pour out of her mouth. But thanks to some encouraging cheers, by the first chorus she found her voice and broke out of her shy whisper. This resulted in Levi's amused expression being replaced by one that involved him unhinging his mouth and elevating his brows.

" _Give me a second go_

_Don't let me go alone_

_You saw me at the worst_

_You caught me falling first_

_All I wanted to know..._

_Give me a second go"_

Standing there, with his thumb hooked into his belt hoop and his drink held in that unstable fashion, Levi gazed up at her how a religious man might stare at a holy temple. Momentarily losing her voice from the heartening stare, she quickly diverted her eyes elsewhere.

" _Cried 'til my river turned into a lake_

_And I'm wondering now before it's too late_

_How can you save me when I'm angry?_

_Reasons I'll never know"_

But then she found her eyes snapping back on Levi again. There must've been over fifty people here—but out of all the diverse faces she could explore from this elevated position, her eyes only wanted to look at Levi.

" _One to five I'm half alive_

_Six to nine I'm out of line_

_Ten to twelve I'm not myself_

_By the millionth time..._

_I cry"_

After she delivered the final  _"Don't let me go alone"_  the song faded out, and applause, whistles and cheers flooded in, making her dash off the stage as soon as possible to dodge all the kudos ambushing her. And there to welcome her was Levi, who strayed over to her as soon as she stepped off stage. Bluntly, he hit her with: "Do you wanna go out with me?"

A confused utter mingled with her ragged breath. "We are out. Are you asking me on another date already?" Wanting to escape the range of the loud music that just switched back on, she strolled beside him to the direction of their table. Levi didn't say anything for a few steps, and that's when Mikasa noticed something was off about Levi all of a sudden, but she tried to pass that aside and kick his usual mood back into gear. "Someone's impatient, we're not even finished with our first yet."

"No, well, yes," he sputtered, which was alarming. It was rare for Levi to lose his cool and control over that slick-talking tongue of his. "I do want to go on another date with you, yes..." it seemed like he wanted to say more but his lips sealed into a tight line.

"Okay? Do we need to book it in advanced or something?" she squinted on him as he rubbed his lips together nervously.

"No," he sucked in a quivering breath, then deflated. Rolling up ahead of her as they walked, he finally released all that stiff tension and looked her dead in the eye, as if he was sick of the prelude and wanted to skip ahead to yet another twist in the story. "I'm actually asking if you would be my girlfriend."

Mikasa stopped dead in her tracks, right there in the middle of the bustling club, under the biggest chandelier in the joint. Her ears rang from the pounding bass teeming around, which lead her to believe that she might've misheard him. "What did you say?"

"Please don't make me repeat that. I'm pretty sure that would count as inhumane torture."

Comparing it to inhumane torture was just as good as repeating. Asking someone  _out_ -out wasn't an easy task and she's surprised someone like Levi managed to spit it out, and so soon—too soon. "You... wanna go steady?" she dared to say. " _Already_?"

"I know it might be too soon," he admitted, avoiding her eyes, and she found it pretty adorable how his eyes wandered around like he was following the trail of a fly buzzing around. "But I don't do the whole friends-before-lovers thing. Once I see someone has a friend I can't enter a relationship with them. You can think it over for as long as you need, of course. No pressure. And no hard feelings if you're not interested."

"No, I'm...It's just... _sudden,_ " she stammered, aghast. "I never dated anyone I barely knew before...no offense." Sure, her and Levi got along great—not in conventional way, of course, but they enjoyed each others company nonetheless. But being a romantic couple before they even  _really_  got to know each other? It seemed so strange and backwards to her given that her last and only boyfriend was already one of her best friends before they dated officially. She supposed it was common for people to date before becoming friends—but it still felt like she was stepping on unknown territory.

"We could go as slow as you're comfortable with," Levi pressed in closer to her, reaching out to clasp her on the arm when he noticed her apprehension. "Just because you make me your boyfriend doesn't mean I would expect anything from you. We can just do what we've been doing and continue to get to know each other along the way."

Admittedly, she kind of liked the sound of Levi being her boyfriend. But unknown territories, like the one they were located in right now, and the one Levi was propositioning her into entering, still made her feel a little queasy.

"Could I mull about it for a bit?" she said, trying to sound like she was playing hard to get, even though she already had her mind made up—as scary as new territory could be, Levi demonstrated to her tonight that entering somewhere strange and unfamiliar could have its benefits. She liked him, she did. But she'll let him sweat for a little while. That's what he got for urging her into embarrassing herself on stage.

"Of course," he said, letting himself inhale a deep breath to reward himself for asking one of the toughest questions in life before sitting back at the table, trying to return to his default demeanor after having his nerves rattled. "Farlan," he waved him down as he was rushing pass to refill someone's drink. "If you see Sasha, let her know we need the check."

Smiling, he propped his hand on his hip victoriously, toasting up the pitcher in his hand. "It's on the house. You guys saved me from losing a nights worth of business after all."

"No fair," Mikasa objected. "I did all the work. Don't award him for making me embarrass myself. Charge him extra."

Farlan lashed his head back, laughing uproariously until his eyes brimmed with tears. "Ah," he dipped down, wrapping an arm around Levi's shoulder. "She's absolutely perfect for you, Levi," Farlan sighed, smiling warmly at both of them before taking off, and shortly after, the couple took off, too.

**~x~**

"Are we on impression nine-hundred and seven now?" Mikasa asked once they were back on the road, in the comfort of Levi's heated mustang destined for her home.

Levi tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "That's up to you to decide. Did I make a good impression on you tonight?"

She dipped her head shyly. "You did. I'm so impressed with your behavior I might even give you a gold star. Or maybe I'm exaggerating because of the champagne. Okay, silver star, since you were an asshole here and there." She tittered, and a flash of light from a passing street lamp highlighted an impression of a smirk from Levi.

"I'll take it. I find myself liking the color silver over gold lately, anyway." Levi said with a hint of affection, glancing over briefly to admire her eyes. Feeling flushed, Mikasa turned her head aside while suddenly having a new found liking for a certain shade of blue.

"You're aware that we're going to lose count eventually, right?" she said, reverting back to the previous topic.

But Levi had a brilliant plan ready to spiel. "I installed this counter app on my phone so I don't lose track. I don't want my good efforts discredited. You have no idea how hard it is to make a good impression every time we meet." He acted as if he's weary after being at it for months. It's only been three days. At this rate he won't survive the end of the countdown.

"You're actually serious about this one-thousand impressions thing, aren't you?" She previously thought it was just some cheesy offer he blurted in desperation to mend the relationship.

His eyes slide off the road and over to her. "Of course I am. I wouldn't have promised otherwise."

Tired from the ambitious thought, Mikasa laid her head back on the rest. "It'll take years."

"Fine by me. It'll be the most productive thing I did in a while."

Faintly, she shook her head. "You don't have to prove anything to me." She turned her gaze to the window and watched the familiar street pass in a blur. She bit her lip to brace herself. "I already like you, Levi."

Looking just as tense as her, he clenched the wheel, and his throat tensed just as tight. "I like you, too, Mikasa."

The faintest curl of a smile touched both of their lips. It's a step up from hating each other, at least.

In the silence, Mikasa's eyes latched to the clock and she ended up blurring out, "It's 11:11," in an effort to drain the awkwardness from the lingering confessions.

"And? Do you have a curfew?"

"You're supposed to make a wish. It's practically the law."

"Hm. Is this the part where I say: ' _B_ _ut_ _M_ _ikasa, my wish already came true. I had such a romantic_ _time with you tonight_.'," he said monotone, lacking the passion intended.

"You're an ass," she flicked her bangs from her eyes. "I think you read too many cheesy books and it's converting your reality into a banal fiction world."

"I'll have you know," he started to defend himself, pointing at her. "I love cheesy books because they make me feel better about my shitty writing. If morons that recycle the same plot and lines over and over could get published, so can I. Eventually."

"But you already have publications, don't you?"

"Non-fiction, yes."

"So is that your wish? Write a fiction novel with all you cheesy one-liners and plots and metaphors?"

"I guess so. What's yours?"

She peeked back over to the time. "It's 11:12. The moments over."

"Don't be that way."

She reclined her head back on the rest with a shrug. "Honestly, I don't have one. Not a long term one, anyway. I wish to get a good grade on my report, I wish I had a better job," she jerked up in her seat from a bump in the road, "and I wish you learned how to drive better. I think you ran over a cat."

"It was already dead. Go on, let's hear more of these short term wishes."

"Earlier, I wished this date would go well." Another repressed smirk.

"And?"

"It did." They pulled to a slow stop at the front of her place. Light from sliding glass door glowed on the second floor veranda. Eren must be home. The boutique beneath had long since closed.

Now, Mikasa found herself wishing the date wasn't over. "I had fun, Levi," she said as she unbuckled her seat belt and reached for the handle, but instead of stepping out and exchanging dull goodbyes, she turned back to face him with intent. With left-over intoxication motivating her, she made a sharp left and propelled herself to his side, her lips aimed for his cheek.

Unanticipatedly, her lips weren't met with a smooth, flat surface. Rather, a pair of lips greeted hers. Her eyes were wide, her lips unresponsive, and a tingle billowed through her blood. The first obvious reaction was to pull away, but by the time she realized what happened she couldn't find the power to disconnect herself. Powerless against Levi's lips, she submitted to his capture without even imagining restraint. The second their tongues lightly laved together it felt like she licked a battery, for the tingling surge that traveled from her lips down her body left her feeling buzzing with electric sensations.

The whole time she kept disbelieving that she had tasted yet another flavor from Levi, a tangible one she didn't think she'd taste for a while. All these emotions poured into her, seeping into her deeper than Levi's tongue. At first she felt confused, thinking she messed up her aim, being buzzed as she were. But on second thought, she knew that she couldn't have and she nearly wanted to slap him—but at the moment her limbs were too paralyzed to lift. Unable to pry away just yet, she began to speak against his lips. "That was meant for your cheek," she said, her words sounding smothered.

"My bad," he unlocked their lips and pitched a strain of her hair playfully. "I figured you were too drunk to find my mouth, I thought I was doing a good service."

His cocky attitude managed to regenerate life back into her numbed limps. She whapped him in the bicep playfully before scooting back to her own side, dumbfounded by what just happened.

"You just demoted yourself to a bronze star." For that little twerp to have the audacity to sneak a kiss on her like that on their first date... Really, how could she  _not_  expect anything but the unexpected from him, that was what she should be asking herself.

"Sorry," the bastard said, not sounding sorry at all. "If you want to try again and say goodbye the way you wanted to, go ahead. We could scratch out the kiss and call it a glitch."

"Stop calling all your intentional screw ups  _glitches_ ," she crossed her arms aggressively, her mixed feelings teeming wildly. A beat later, she cornered her eyes on Levi with an angry pout, and he turned his head forward, baiting her.

_Damn him._

Turned out kissing his cheek wasn't as satisfying as his lips, she realized after giving a quick peck. Maybe it would've given her a spark of some kind if she hadn't already wrestled with his tongue—it's like trying to go back to basic cable when you spent months channel surfing through nine-hundred stations. Now that she had that experience, there's no going back. No electrical surge or tingling or anything, and the void of it all just left her craving for more.

Recalling how they already made so many glitches between them, she figured what's the harm of bugging up the screwed up system more? With that, she took hold of Levi's chin and brought his lips to hers, fusing her lips with his and Levi eagerly replied to her urgent pecks with a suck on her bottom lip.

When they pulled away again, Mikasa rubbed her lips together nervously, and Levi bit the side of his while never breaking contact with her lips.

"Are you still in there?" she flicked her eyes up to his, which were statically staring down.

He snapped his eyes up at her words, some light gleaming in them. "For the first time since I met you, I'm speechless," he paused, looking up. "Wait, I'm exaggerating. You had be pretty speechless on our blind date."

She tittered. "Hmph. At least I know how to shut you up now."

"You must feel powerful."

"I did just find my nemesis' weakness."

"Ex-Nemesis," he corrected, sweeping his disheveled bangs up from his hair line. "We're working together now, remember? Stop making plot holes in our story."

"Our story? Seems like you're the one assuming direct charge."

"Just keep track of our relationship status."

She peered down at his lips again, tracing them into her memory. "And what is our relationship status?" She just realized her arm was draped lithely around his shoulder, her hand brushing against his nape. Conscious of it now, she realized how close they were, and not a single part of her wanted to change that fact.

"I proposed an upgrade in our relationship," he reminded her. "But you haven't accepted yet."

Taking a deep breath, she sifted through all the doubts and benefits and couldn't decide which side won the upper hand. "I feel like, for the first time in my life, I should read the terms and conditions before accepting to be your girlfriend."

"I'll give you a watered down summary," he gave himself a moment to gather his thoughts. "You already seen how I am when I'm angry, but I'm not usually that bad, so don't think you're in for a lifetime of domestic abuse. I won't ever be like that with you again. Teasing, name-calling and me being a prick in general unfortunately doesn't come with that package deal, though. Sorry to say every contract has its downsides, so you'll have to live with that. I'm also relatively pessimistic," Mikasa chortled as the use of the word  _'relatively'._ That's a funny way of saying he hated everything and saw the glass as completely empty. "But I suspect you like that about me."

More like she's forced to accept it the same way you have to accept tiny fine print in a contract that rips you off down the line.

"I get jealous easy," Mikasa decided to start reading off her own terms for Levi sake. It was only fair.

"Good. I like a girl who fights for what's hers and doesn't meekly stand by while someone else's presence is bothering her."

"No, I mean, I get  _really_  jealous," she repeated, put extra stress on her statement to make herself clear. She even becomes jealous when her friends make other friends. Like, no, you can't be friends with them. Shoo.

"I don't care. I'm also stubborn in my own right, and lack vital components to make me a confident individual, but to negate from that entirely, I could also be very assertive at times."

"I don't care. I tend to get obsessive—not in a creepy way, but I get attached very easily."

"Don't care. I'll like the attention."

In conclusion, Mikasa learned that whether someone read the terms and conditions or not, the final verdict would always be not caring.

"Now that you read the terms and conditions," Levi recited professionally, his hand cinched around her waist, "do you accept?"

"I do," she expressed in a wavering breath, then hitched her brow up suggestively. "So where do I click to seal the deal?"

Moving his hand up, Levi lightly tapped his finger against his lips, and Mikasa let herself indulge in another helping of Levi's mouthwatering flavor.

Countless minutes into their spontaneous make out session, Mikasa couldn't help bit feel conflicted by a string of emotions. It felt so good to kiss someone new, and to be kissing Levi, the guy she fell for so quickly of all people, but lingering reminders appeared in her mind, reminding her that this was a man who she didn't actually know as well as she preciously believed. To be kissing a stranger that was suddenly her boyfriend so feverishly and needily made her reconsider her actions, so she pulled back, wiping her lip, and put a final end to this endless game of lip tag.

She couldn't believe she just made out with Levi on their first date. Only half of her felt guilty. The other half of her wanted to kiss him again but if she allowed that, they'd be sitting in this car until dawn.

"I still want to take it slow," she reminded him.

"I know. I do too."

"We're still calling this a glitch, right?" she asked, needing assurance.

"Right. We can just scratch out this accidental make out," be waved it of dismissively. Yes, of course, people accidentally kiss each other all the time. Not a big deal.

She nodded, desperately eating up all the lies. "We'll pretend this never happened and go on with taking this relationship very slow."

More justificative nods later, his lidded eyes fell to her lips. "I like talking it slow—the build up is half the fun." Judging by the way he looked like he wanted to attack her and rip off her clothes, she didn't believe that at all. Heat rushed to Mikasa's face, that smoldering feeling soon spread thought out her body like wildfire. Those suggestive eyes skimming over her lips was like a fan keeping the flames ablaze.

Mikasa did everything in her power not to take Levi's words out of context, but everything the man said could be turned into an innuendo with the way he purrs and drawls on every ambiguous line, like a lustful stanza of evasive desire. She vowed here that they would take it slow; not in the bedroom like her mind kept promiscuously insisting, but  _out_  of it. That powerful vow turned into a weak whisper, however, when Levi swept a fall of hair from her face.

"Don't worry. Glitches happened, but it doesn't ruin the foundation of the system," he said, likely noticing the thoughtful expression held on her face.

If only Mikasa knew at the time that a giant glitch would be the very foundation of their relationship, because for two competitive and fast-moving souls like them, going slow and steady was highly unlikely.

"One more thing," she started, reverting back to the discussion about their terms. "If you ever break our contract by hurting me again—"

"I know, you'll kick my ass," he shifted his head thoughtfully. "And you probably could."

In Levi language, that actually translated into a sweet and humble compliment, because she knew the self-assured asshole didn't believe she could take him on (although she could).

"No. I'd do something far worse." Extracting herself from a very puzzled Levi, she collected her purse, and grabbed the latch of the door, crooking back at him with a warning. "It involves lizards and you squirming."

The previous love-struck expression he held contorted into dire seriousness, his eyes rounding as a sharp breath stilled in his chest. "Don't you dare ever put a lizard anywhere near me," she intoned sternly, and she giggled more, evilly, "I mean it, Mikasa."

Her slick eyes side-glanced him. "Then you better behave yourself."

"I am now mentally noting to never piss you off," he tapped his temple.

Now standing on the side sidewalk, Mikasa's legs shivered, no longer protected by Levi's heating. Holding the door for balance, she bent down and looked in, seeing that Levi was still rattled by her threat. "If you keep taking me on dates like this and making good impressions, then you don't have to worry about me slipping a lizard down your shirt."

At first he winced from the thought, but the stiffness in his features loosened into a stare glazed with warmth.

After watching Levi's car speed off down the road, Mikasa headed up to the apartment, feeling bubbly and light on her feet. Levi's lips had made her higher than the alcohol. When she walked into the foyer, Eren greeted her with: "Uh oh. You're smiling. Either you killed Levi and successfully disposed of the body or the date went well."

"It went better than well." She swayed her way over to the living room and plopped down on the couch beside him, still unable to banish her smile.

"What happened?" Eren muted the TV, pinning his attention to her as he kicked his feet up, using her thighs as a foot rest.

Tucking a strain of hair behind her ear, she shrugged. "Not much happened, I guess. I had fun with him."

"I'm glad things worked out. I was kinda worried something might happened again," Eren said, hanging his head. He must feel responsible since he was the one who brought Levi and her together. That glum state of his came and went, however, because a beat later he lifted his posture and wiggled his toes excitably. "Where did you guys go after you ditched us?"

"We went to this place called The Underground. Nice place, bad area."

"Cool. Anything else happen?"

"...I sang karaoke."

They directed winces at each other with deep frowns, simultaneously not believing it.

"That's...well," his face contorted. "It seems like you had fun. I guess it's nice to see you out of your comfort zone." She could say the same to him. She hoped, now that Eren got a taste of going out again, that he would continue to go out and have fun.

"Oh," she said, remembering. "Levi and I have the same last name."

"Weird."

"Yeah. I didn't expect that. But I suppose Ackerman isn't totally uncommon."

"Anything else?" he asked.

She hesitated. "Levi asked me to be his girlfriend."

He blinked at her, his thick brows sinking low. "Already?"

"Yeah."

"Did you say yeah?"

"Yeah."

"We..." Mikasa started, but Eren opened his eyes wide at her, like he couldn't believe she had more to say. "We kind of kissed too," she mumbled quickly. "Well, it was more of a mini make out session."

Eren blinked at her rapidly and took a long while to reply. "Future advice, Mikasa, don't start a conversation with 'not much happened' if a  _fuck ton_  of things  _did_  happened."

"Sorry. All of it didn't hit me yet." Tomorrow's morning montage from last night was guaranteed to be cringe-and-blush-worthy. "What did you, Jean, and Armin get up to once we ditched?"

"We just hung around the mall," he reached to turn over a paper on the coffee table, revealing it to be a photograph. "We also took pictures with Santa."

"Oh my God," Mikasa picked it up to get a closer look. Eren was on Santa's lap with a jolly grin, looking like a carefree nine year old again. Armin's smile was flimsy, a dead giveaway that he was dragged into the photo shoot, and Jean stood behind Eren, folding his arms. You can almost hear his sigh.

There were four copies of the photo, one being big enough for a frame a family might hang in the living room. The other three were wallet sizes. "I want one of these."

"I thought you would," he pointed over to the end table. He had set out a scissor in preparation. And as she cut the corner one out, Eren went on with adding details to his night out on the town, and he actually sounded like he had a lot of fun. Given that Eren seldom left the house since arriving in campus, she was glad he got some fresh air and had a good time.

Maybe the New Year's luck was already upon them and things were changing for the better, for both of them. Mikasa never imagined herself having a boyfriend before even finishing the first semester, and she didn't think Eren would leave the house for pleasure for a few semesters. The New Year approaching certainly did look promising.

Before heading off to bed, Mikasa sunk down to give Eren a kiss, a platonic kind for someone she saw as her brother, of course.

"Wait," naturally, he wiped the kiss away. "You just kissed Levi, now I feel like I indirectly kissed him."

"Is that really that terrible?" she erected up, setting a hand on her hip. "Admit it, he's pretty handsome."

"Eh, I guess he's not bad looking—I mean that in a straight way, by the way. I like chicks."

"Thanks for clarifying," she patted his big homo head. "Goodnight, Eren."

The first thing Mikasa did when she arrived in her bedroom was tape on the new addition to the photo collection adorning her mirror. Taking a step back, she marveled from afar, then let her eyes fall to her laptop sitting atop the vanity. Without much thought, she booted it up, went into her picture folder and sent a file to her printer on the other side of the doom. With a buzz, a sheet of paper slid out over her thick printed report. She snatched up the photo, a photo that had recently become a wide spread meme, and cut it out and added it to the mirror.

Again, Mikasa took a step back and marveled at the newest addition. A smile crept over her lips, a kind of smile that would've done the creepy selfie some justice.

Mikasa had a feeling, that if things kept going so well between her and Levi, she might need to consider expanding her mural of memories, because something told her she would be making many more memories with Levi.


	10. Fond of Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: this chapter sort of kicks off Erwin/Nile's story. I understand some people may just read this story for RivaMika, and the odds of everyone liking the other ships I include are slim, but for my own enjoyment there will be other ships sprinkled throughout, and that's that! Rest assured, RivaMika will always be the main pair that hogs the spotlight, but it's fun to explore the relationships their friends have, too.

Tapping keys made up the audio in Levi's condo. The artificial glow of his computer screen tinted his complexion; feeling as welcoming and familiar as the wan moon framed in his bedroom windowpane. The traffic far below in the sleepless city, and the rowdy neighbors next door never once disrupted the melodious rhythm his hands composed. Nothing could break his concentration tonight.

For the first time in a while, Levi felt like a writer again, not a professional backspacer who occasionally wrote a comprehensible sentence. It had been a long time since he heard the nostalgic beat of his fingers tapping consecutively on the board like this, like a dancer who rehearsed to perfection, contrary to the sound of infrequent, awkward steps like someone who missed all their recitals. Not even Erwin's threats or motherly coaxing could get him to write like this. This desire to work suddenly kindled inside him shortly after returning home from his date with Mikasa.

This surge of ambition came as a shock, but even impulsive acts of lunacy could be beneficial sometimes. Judging by his complete manuscript before him, this was one of those times. As inspired as he was to write a strongly worded online review about Godzilla: The Horrible Remake, he decided to catch up on one of his fitness columns instead. Reverting back to his usual procrastinating routine of profitless and negative critique wouldn't get him anywhere, he realized.

Retracting his tired fingers from the keys, Levi lifted his mug of tea from the coaster and internally read back one of the passages he wrote, pleased that he delivered all his thoughts in an organize fashion. The manuscript was riddled in errors and nearly all three thousand words were underlined in red, but it was Erwin's job to modify that mess.

This week's topic covered the importance of metabolism. Each week's topic became duller than the last, but the Sina Sentinel paid him generously for his printed opinion—so much so he earned himself his own weekly segment in the fitness and health section.

Erwin always critiqued him about his lack of personalization in his work, and always urged him to incorporate more personality to give his writing some flair for his devoted readers, but Levi saw it as a job that required hard facts and no storytelling elements, therefore he always swept that advice under the rug—until now.

Levi had digressed from his own opinion for once and slipped in a thin slice of advice he learned from Mikasa. It's not for everyone, especially not him, but it might be useful info for his readers to now the benefits of a spiced diet. He gave credit, even though it wasn't necessary to post disclaimers for sources of inspiration, but he noted that his girlfriend taught him that, thus seasoning a dash of personalization to his normally dull and fact driven weekly column.

Typing out the word _girlfriend_  had made his heart leap in his throat, and no amount of tea would wash it down. As tempted as he was to delete that bit and sick to the usual monotone voice he used in these columns, he decided to keep the line in.

Levi sank back into the press of his leather computer chair. The mug felt warm in his hands, but he only felt the silky remnant of Mikasa's hair between his fingers. He drank his favorite brand of tea, but all he tasted was the spicy tinge left over on Mikasa's tongue; the one kind of spice he didn't mind. Instead of Angel's late night squawking, Mikasa's sweet singing voice lingered in his ears.

There was something about that woman that inspired Levi. Not only did she inspire him to write a manuscript he had been holding off for days, but she was beginning to inspire him to be a better man in general. He started to put his work first, and started to think before he spoke, and he started feeling terrified at this, but also thrilled by this sudden shift in his behavior.

Earlier at dinner, she had been right in her assumptions when she told him he kept a hidden piece of him from everyone—but something told him that sooner or later, he would allow Mikasa to click that piece into place and let her see the full picture. Displaying the full image scared him shitless, but he figured that maybe,  _just maybe_ , Mikasa might be the only one able to make sense of the confusing cluster called his life.

Rising from his chair, Levi strolled into the living room where he left his cell phone. Clicking back from a thread of goodnight texts from Mikasa, he landed back on the home screen and noted the time. It was nearly 3 a.m., meaning his editor had to be asleep by now. Before he crashed, he decided to leave a quick voicemail to give an update on his progress.

With a swishing flap of his feathers, Angel piloted his way to Levi's shoulder, greeting him with the usual, "Pumpkin?"

"You already had your midnight snack. Go to bed, fatass."

The pet bird pecked at the cell phone aggressively, demanding his treat as the phone rang against Levi's ear. Just as he was anticipating the prerecorded message to play, the line picked up.

"Hello?"

"Go to hell," Angel croaked, sharply pecking his beak against the phone case again.

"...Is this a prank call?"

"It's me. And Angel," Levi said, punctuated by the birds screeching exclaim.

A sigh transmitted over the line. "You need to teach that bird some manners."

"He takes after his daddy." Levi massaged the African Grey's jowls proudly, encouraging his bad behavior. "I didn't expect you to still be up. I wanted to leave you a message and let you know I'm done with the column. Warning, it's going to be a nightmare to edit. Hope you didn't plan on sleeping anytime soon."

Now that Erwin knew the document was finished, he wouldn't rest until it was polished and ready to publish. Erwin was the workaholic type that never delayed his editing duties, and because Levi knew this, he regretted calling and dumping the task on him so late at night.

"I'll get to it tomorrow," he replied, sounding distracted from a clatter in the background.

Levi shifted his eyes over to Angel, thinking Erwin's voice was mimicked to say something absurd, but the bird cocked his head guilelessly.

"You're going to edit it...tomorrow?" Levi stammered, feeling uneasy suddenly. That was a weird way of saying  _'I'll get right on it'_  like he usually does.

"Yeah. I'm busy right now."

"I'm calling 9-1-1. Stay with me, Erwin, don't go to the light. The ambulance should be there shortly." Erwin never held off on work. Never. He's either about to commit suicide or he's unstably ill. Levi was worried about him, of course, but more so worried for himself because he's a selfish man-child who can't live without mama Erwin. Plus, if Erwin died right now, who was supposed to edit his column as efficiently as him?

"It's not me who isn't well," Erwin pressed his lips closer to the phone. "It's  _Nile_."

Unsurprised, Levi's tension deflated as he combed his hair back in annoyance. "Another fight with Marie?"

"Yeah."

Those two fought more than the couples on those tween drama's, except they're married and in their mid-thirties with children who shouldn't act like damn teenagers anymore. At one point Levi created a mental calendar to keep track of the spousal spats. The pattern suggested they fought every other weekend, and  _coincidentally_ always landed on the weekends Marie was off work when she  _just so happened_  to have plans with her girlfriend's. Erwin once mused that Marie fought with her husband to prevent her from feeling guilty on her outings, and Levi agreed. That was a very Marie-way of thinking.

"I just saw him a few hours ago," Levi recalled as he milled about his condo, thinking back to that line of vicious children demanding toys. "I think Marie was Christmas shopping for the brats while he kept them busy. It seemed like they were doing fine last I checked."

"Not anymore. He's been drinking and crying in my apartment for the past few hours. I don't know what to do."

A fuzzy feeling trickled over Levi. Erwin Smith didn't know what to do? What a pleasant evening this was turning out to be. He pictured Nile heading for a boiling meltdown, diffusing sparks and short-circuiting as a devastated Erwin spun in little circles with a wrench, trying to fix his friend. Levi had to see this with his own two eyes. He wouldn't miss this for the world—oh, and he should check up on Nile, too.

"Want me to come over? We can tag team condolences. When I get tired of patting his back, I can tag you in for a wise word of encouragement."

There was a long, uneasy pause. "Levi...you're not very good with comforting people. And you're especially not good with Nile."

"What are you on about? We get along fine."

"About as well as two betta fish in the same tank," Erwin retorted, then whispered into the receiver, as to not let his company hear. "He's very sensitive right now. If you were to come here and call him a goat, or Billy, for that matter, or poke fun at his facial hair, you'd just make it worse."

"Admit it, he looks like a middle school boy trying to grow a mustache for the first time."

"This is why you're not invited."

"Since when do I need an invitation? I have a key." Squatting down, Levi rummaged through his liquor cabinet. "I was gonna email you my work, but I'll bring it in person, along with my best bottle of rum."  _Best_ , of course, was code for the one he  _didn't_  like.

"Fine," Erwin permitted with a sigh, knowing he had no other choice, "but please, be gentle."

Not even five seconds after Levi let himself in through the door of Erwin's apartment, which currently reeked worse than a bar, Levi gently greeted Nile with: "Who did your wife fuck this week, blotchy-beard Billy?"

"Levi," Erwin hissed, swerving away from cleaning up the overturned shot glasses on the table like an overworked bartender. Erwin signaled his eyes down to Nile, and Levi turned his direct attention to the lump of depression slumped over the dining table. That lump started to cry despairingly against the table top, drowning in a puddle of tears and split tequila.

Over the years, it was impossible to avoid Nile's company, regrettably so, because Nile was Erwin's high school buddy back before they even joined the army. They had branched into different units after their training days, but they still kept a strong bond that kept getting stronger as the years went on. Levi became convinced at one point that their friendship was stronger than Nile's marriage.

Pity filled Levi's eyes as he judged Nile's mussed appearance. Years of serving in the army and a career as a police officer had chiseled him into a disciplined and well-kept member of society, but the same couldn't be said about him now. That almost made Levi feel sorry for the pathetic sap. Usually him and his wife just have normal spousal fights...but did she actually cheat on him this time? Levi, along with their other close friends, had strong suspicions about her fidelity, but did he finally start to catch on?

Stepping forward, Levi performed a noble gesture of peace by offering the bottle of rum in hand to the dispirited husband. "I come baring spiced gifts from Captain Morgan."

Snatching the bottle, Nile upended the nozzle to his lips, taking a drink so desperate one could mistake him for a parched traveler in the desert. "Thanks, you can leave now," he sniffled as he wiped a rivet of booze from his chin.

Defiantly, Levi kicked out a chair and sat beside him at the table, which had a horrid centerpiece decorating it. The last one was a cartoonish turkey, now it was a fat snowman with a snowboard. Erwin probably thought it was cute, but it was a bigger eye sore than Nile's tear soaked face and drunken flush.

"I'm here to comfort you. Your mustache looks great, by the way," Levi lied.

From the look in Nile's eyes drunkenly swimming over Levi's face, he didn't believe that for a second. And he would be partially right: his beard still looked like a pathetic excuse of a beard, but he did actually want to comfort him.

To clear the accumulated phlegm from his throat, Nile hacked into his tear-sodden sleeve. "I just wanna be alone with Erwin right now."

"Okay. Shall I set up some candles and put on romantic tunes on my way out?"

"Enough with the jokes, Levi." Erwin warned crossly.

That long-feared commander voice triggered Levi to abandon his easy-going posture. That was the only tone of voice Levi always obeyed without question. Trying to place aside this comically golden scene playing before him, he sifted deeper and remembered why Nile was in such an embarrassing state in the first place. "Alright, in all seriousness, what's going on with Marie? Fill me in."

Nile quaffed down another stiff shot, as if to strengthen him, and then cradled Captain Morgan in his arm like a new born. "Marie cheated on me— _has been_  cheating on me. After we got home from the mall, she freaked out and told me how she  _can't take it_  anymore. It took a lot of arguing for her to build up to the point, but then she finally blurted out how she wanted to spend the holidays with her boyfriend.  _Boyfriend_ ," the wounded husband spat, appearing more hurt by the infidelity confession than the time he was shot on duty. "And then she blamed  _me_  for making her cheat. And then she went off on a tangent about how she wished she married Erwin, and that I ruined her life. And to top it off, she wants a divorce."

As Nile blubbered and wheezed on incoherent words, Levi did his best to stay composed and still, as if posing for a portrait that displayed the epitome of a strong pillar of support. The heart-wrenching story didn't contagiously transfer over the husbands feelings to him, but rather the words inflicted emotions on Levi that Nile should've been expelling: Anger. It was true that Nile and Levi weren't the chummiest, but not even Nile deserved to be treated that shitty.

"And," Nile took another quick swig, needing it for what he was about to say, "she wants full custody of my kids. She can take my heart, my house and half my paycheck, but that's the one thing she won't get. I'll see to that."

Levi's jaw clench tight. Those kids were disrespectful brats and he wasn't as fond of them as Uncle Erwin was, but he knew how much Nile loved them and Marie knew damn well too—she's just spitefully trying to wring out every bit of joy from her husband's life.

"I know this will be harsh," Levi started, relieved to finally get this off his chest after ten long years, "but Marie is a bitch. A greedy, soulless bitch."

"You don't know her like I do," Nile's slung his head up to defend her out of habit. "She might've been that way when she dated Erwin, but she matured once she became a mother."

"Oh sure," Levi agreed mockingly, "only mature women bend over for the plumber."

"It was actually our neighbor." His eyes shone with a vengeful gleam as he spoke through gritted teeth, "I knew something was up with them. But we fought enough—if jealousy was added to our crumbling marriage I thought we'd be done for. I tried to trust her. A lot of good that did me." Levi silently solaced his good efforts as he watched Nile rattle his head in regret. "He was always coming over with baked goods and repairing things around the house and playing with the kids. When I was finally home she talked to him more than me."

Levi bit at his lip. "That sucks."

"What're you going to do now?" Erwin stepped in closer, his brows upturned in concern. "Do you have any desire to patch things up?"

"We patched up so many times...I just don't think the mend will hold any more." Surrendering, he despondently swooped his fingers through his hair. "Even before she cheated, we did nothing but argue or ignore each other. I don't think she ever loved me as much as I loved her. When we did finally have sex she would sometimes slip out Erwin's name, which of course led to more fighting. "

"Sorry," Erwin flushed.

"It's not your fault," Nile swung a playful punch at him, and missed completely. "All these years I thought I beat you—I won Marie's heart and you didn't, but really she was probably better off with you."

"Nah. You're husband material," Levi shot back a thumb at Erwin. "He's just eye candy. Nice to look at but too much exposure isn't healthy. Erwin's the erotic fantasy, you're the kind of man who's made for diaper changes and family game night."

"It's really hard to tell when you're complimenting someone or insulting them," Erwin's eyes went rolling before landing back on Nile. "Anyway, you're free to stay here until you have everything figured out."

"Thanks," Nile blushed meekly. "I was kinda hoping you'd say that because she said her handy man next door is changing the locks of my house tomorrow."

"Wow." Levi folded his arms, sitting back in disbelief. "If it weren't for your children inside the house, I would burn it to the ground with her and her repair man in it."

"Sharing intentions of arson with a cop isn't very wise." Nile smirked for the first time that evening, and Erwin rewarded Levi with an approving massage on the shoulder.

See, Levi could be a people-person when he wanted to be, or when he wanted to prove the always right Erwin wrong.

Later in the night, which now could be considered morning, Nile ran out of booze and evidently steam. His rant, that seemed endless at the time, concluded with:  _"Man, fuck women."_

The despondent husband went off to rejuvenate himself in the exquisite bathtub (which was, by far, the best tub in the world according to Erwin, who was a full grown man who still soaked in bubble baths).

Running a finger through his collar, Levi felt almost smothered by the massive amount of crap cluttering Erwin's living room. From useless knickknacks to collectibles, to quilts and throw pillows, if it was featured on a home shopping network or on a TV commercial, Erwin owned it. If it weren't for Nile hogging the spotlight tonight with his marital issues, Levi would've made two calls for Erwin's sake. One to  _Hoarders: Buried Alive by Crappy Décor_ , and the other to  _Intervention: QVC Edition._

Erwin and Levi were currently seated on the couch, watching a home shopping channel, which Erwin put on willingly and not because it was the only thing on at this ungodly hour. Unable to control his cravings like a twitching crack addict, Erwin had reached for his phone, dialed it frantically like it was his dealer, and ordered his fix of towels—which were a total steal for 3 easy payments of $19.99.

Once his order was logged, Erwin muted the endless sales pitch, no longer needing convincing. Levi flicked his eyes over to him, figuring he had something to say.

"I keep you in the dark about my personal life," Erwin faced him hesitantly, a look of grief blooming on his face. "I'm sorry."

"You're not in church. No need to confess your guilt."

"Hear me out. You tell me everything, but I never share a morsel of my personal life with you."

"Where's this coming from?" Levi nodded over to the drink on the coffee table. "Well, the whiskey, obviously, but what's bothering you all of a sudden?" When Erwin lowered his head and gave no answer, Levi went on to say, "I respect your privacy. If you don't feel comfortable telling me about your feelings or how many shits you take a day, that's fine. I respect that. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"I can't say I want to tell you about my bowel movements, but there are some things I think you deserve to know—you and I have been close for a very long time now. You're special to me and it doesn't feel right to keep this from you."

Burdened with sudden tension, Levi slewed away from Erwin, but continued to eye him incredulously. "Why do I get the feeling this is building up to you telling me you have a terminal disease, or that you're in love with me?"

"Not even close."

"Oh my God you're pregnant."

" _Levi_ ," the strict commander tone discharged once again.

Levi huffed impatiently. "What is it, then?"

His lips formed a few uncertain shapes, like he didn't know how to start or get his mouth around the words. Finally, Erwin winced, as if he heard Levi's ridicule already. "I'm in love with Nile."

The words rang in Levi's ears for a while, echoing off the walls of his skull until they lost meaning. Such a blather phrase didn't have meaning to begin with, actually.

"I love him," he said again with a sweet smile. "I love him," he said a third time, like an annoying repeated lyric from a loathed song.

Levi just wanted him to shut up so he could wrap his mind around this. "Say it one more time and I'll be sure to destroy everything you love so you can never say it again."

"You're so morbid," Erwin sulked. "Sympathize with me a moment. Imagine repressing that secret inside you for fifteen years, and then finally confessing to someone. How would you feel?"

"How would I feel?" Levi pretended to ponder "If I ever said I was in love with Nile, I imagine I'd feel suicidal."

"So morbid," he said again, and apparently Erwin had less speech patterns memorized than his African Grey. What had love done to this charismatic and slightly masochistic man? What's with that dreamy and dumb expression hogging up his handsome features? Levi didn't like this Erwin at all.

"...I think I would've preferred if you told me you're about to shit out a little Erwin."

"I'm being serious here, Levi."

"I know you are. That's why I'm trying to mask my unprecedented terror with humor," he said, though in truth the new reality of Erwin loving Nile left him feeling rather obtuse.

Needing a drink before elaborating, Erwin finished off his glass of whiskey with a hiss before diving in head first. "I only stole Marie from him when we were teenagers because I wanted to get her away from him. I planned to break up with her after a while. I thought I would swoop in and Nile and I would comfort each other's broken hearts, but she left me and they got back together."

Fixated on the pathological psycho sitting next to him, Levi stared in awe; almost impressed with his supreme level of insanity. He actually  _planned_  all that? Levi hadn't been around during the infamous love triangle, but he heard enough about it over the years to know how much drama it stirred. Why was Levi even surprised at this? Nothing was ever an accident with Erwin. The fucker was always five steps ahead of everyone. Levi imagined that was the first time one of his malevolent plans backfired. Served him right.

"What a shitty thing to do. That's why you got bad karma." Levi bopped him on the head with the remote. "Bad Erwin, using your strategic mind powers for evil."

"I know, I know, but now..." Erwin rubbed his head shamefully and lifted his head, the impression of a smirk on his lips. "Marie and him are getting a  _divorce_ ," his voice rose like a cheerful child, but he realized with some guilt and changed his tune. "It's not like I cursed his marriage or anything. I accepted the unrequited love. But after all these years of waiting I feel like I finally have a chance again."

Erwin Smith just went full-blown whack-job with a side of corruption seasoned with delusion: a delicious dish arriving at Sina City's mental health facility soon.

"There's one thing you're neglecting to add to your equation, Erwin." For once, Levi felt he was ahead in the race. He was honestly surprised he hadn't considered this himself. "Nile is  _straight_. He's been married to a woman for ten years and has children with said woman."

Erwin went quiet for a moment, completely dormant. Levi thought he had him stumped...until an explosive smirk broadcasted on his lips. "…You were straight too until our mission at Utgard."

With a gasp stilled in his chest, Levi's mouth just kept motioning but no audible words would eject, like Erwin had pressed his mute button too.

That thick eyebrow bastard. How dare him bring up Utgard when Levi was unprepared. And sober. Aggressively twisting in his seat, he jabbed a finger at him. "Our camp was stranded in enemy territory and I thought I would die. Excuse me for not wanting to die a virgin."

Recalling the eerie isolation caging him that night, Levi shivered as he recalled the brisk winds scouring his skin and the dreadful news transmitting over the radio. It was the ultimate worst case scenario: their squad had been abandoned without many resources, and to cap it off, enemy troops were lingering near with intentions to attack at sunrise.

Levi, a fledgling at the time, and Erwin, his despised commander, and a handful of others were left alone on the flanks of enemy territory. Those enemies were regrouping near and planned to ambush them at dawn. Everyone knew that escape wasn't only futile, but also punishable offense. Although the orders were to hold the fort until given the clearance to move in more troops, everyone knew that it was a suicide mission and that no one would survive.

In the beginning of Levi's military career, he and Erwin had a bumpy start to their relationship, and that grudge stayed with Levi for quite some time. He still hated his commander during that presumed last night alive, but just like everyone else, Levi and Erwin believed they would only live to see one more sunrise. In an effort to patch up their differences, Erwin had invited Levi into the abandoned watch tower for reconcile so they could leave the world without regrets or hate in their hearts.

Well, they certainly made up, that's for damn sure, many times throughout the night in fact until Levi actually believed he prematurely reached heaven at one point.

That night of woeful passion had stuck with the soldiers for years to come, weaving their relationship into a complicated, yet healthy alliance. But it especially helped the following morning when the enemies crossed into their camp. Thanks to better communication and team work they (obviously) survived miraculously and were unstoppable for years to come. Just when Levi was at the top of his prime, he nearly got blown up and landed himself in a coma, and that's when their team work was forced to end, but their close bond expanded—not romantically, but there was an almost nurturing bond conceived between them.

And even now the spontaneous encounter, although strictly not spoken of, still managed to hold together their relationship, but Erwin bringing up the affair ripped the mend from the seams and made Levi hate him all over again.

"You act like you didn't have a choice," Erwin said, amusement flickering on his face. "There were plenty of women soldiers present—plenty of which that would've loved to get laid on their last night alive. You didn't have to sleep with me to lose your virginity."

"You—" Levi gawked, an eye twitching. "You're the one who said it was our last night on earth and all this sappy shit like you'd protect me as long as you can, and how I was the only one who ever saw you cry, you manipulating bastard." He tightly folded his arms in a fuss. Thinking back, how did he even fall for all that cheesy shit? He supposed he was young and desperate, and his commander didn't look half bad coated in the glow of the last moonlight he'd ever see, but he still needed to defend his orientation. "I like women. I still consider myself straight even after that. You're just..."

"Good with winning over straight men?" he finished for him with a boastful snicker, taking it as praise for his next devious scheme with Nile. Was that his goal in life? Make comfortably straight men question their sexuality? Well, if there's anyone that could take on the challenge and succeed it was Erwin Smith.

"No," he corrected him, "you're good at being a manipulative son of a bitch. You manipulated me into fucking you because you made dying sound  _so romantic_  and you tried to manipulate Nile by stealing Marie. Now you're taking advantage of his life crisis."

"I'm not taking advantage of this." All amusement washed from Erwin's face. "What him and his wife decide to do with their marriage is out of my range of control. Yes, I agree that dating Marie just to get to him was immature, but I was a teenager in love. I would've done anything—but I'm not a child anymore. I wouldn't selfishly trick him or ruin his life for my own benefit."

Marking the sincerity in his voice, Levi ventilated his rising temper with a breath. "I get it. You're in love with him and if he just so happens to become available again, you want to test your luck. That's fine and all. But Erwin..." Levi faced him, ready to douse him with a shock of truth. "Like I said before, you're eye candy. You're like that one guy every straight man would have a semi-regrettable one night stand with. But Nile? I don't know if he's that open. He's so uptight and traditional. I mean, he has— _had_  a dog with a white picket fence and actually waited for marriage before sex. He's so... _by the book_. Even if you can trick—excuse me,  _convince_  him to sleep with you, I don't see it panning out into love."

Trying to visualize a romantic relationship between Nile and Erwin made Levi cringed until a thought zipped in his mind and poured from his mouth, "Is this why you've been single all these years? You've been waiting for their marriage to fail?"

"God, no. I'm not that terrible. I was happy for them both and wished them well. As long as Nile was happy, so was I. But over the years they just kept fighting and Nile would come to me and I always felt more heartbroken than him when I saw how much Marie upset him. He deserved someone better, someone who would appreciate him, so my love never faded. I didn't date around because I was busy with my life and I figured I couldn't fall in love when I was already in love."

"Makes sense, in a hysterical Annie Wilkes kind of way." Feeling as if he was smothering under Erwin crazy way of thinking, he unzipped his jacket and fanned himself with the flap. "Now I know why you hide your feelings from me. Your feelings are weird and confusing and slightly diabolical in a sweet and pathetic way." Levi gave himself time to mull over the situation as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what to say, Erwin. I want to say you're an idiot who should quit before you get hurt, but I think you've been hurt enough after all these years of torturous waiting. So, fuck it, what's the worst that can happen? Test your luck. If he doesn't want you, just go about your life as it is now. Maybe if you get a confirmed rejection you can move on."

"Yeah," Erwin nodded sullenly, popping the bitter pill of reality he had no choice but to swallow. "I was just thinking that, too. I think it's the what-if factor that keeps me tied up in these feelings. If I'm positive that I have a zero chance with him, maybe I could move on from it. Like closure."

Both of them sat in silence for a while, watching the muted broadcast selling designer floral vases, but Erwin was too deep in thought to buy them, and Levi wondered if Nile fell asleep in the tub and drowned. He's been in their for an awfully long time. Wouldn't that be a twisting stab wound for Erwin's fragile heart?

"But enough about me," Erwin finally shattered the silence, and Levi quickly dropped the image of Nile floating dead in the tub. "I'm going on about my nonexistent love life when you actually established one. How did your date with Mikasa go?"

Erwin slipped back into his element like a comfortable sweater. Talking about Levi was one of his favorite pastimes. And as for Levi, it was a familiar territory, but now that he got a piece of Erwin's personal life he craved to carve out another chunk—but it could wait. Best left to savior slowly in tiny bites, or else he'll retch from an overdose of insanity.

"It went better than expected," Levi replied, images from their date flashing in his mind until the montage ended with the make out session in his car. "We're moving fast, which is completely my fault, but it's not like I'm afraid of fast change."

Levi didn't hold any current regrets about the recent developments with Mikasa, but a part of him wished he could get a sneak peek into the future to see if he took the right route. He went from not knowing what his online admirer looked like at the beginning of the week, to nearly getting his ass whooped by her amid, to making out with her on the weekend. And when Levi explained this to Erwin with a hint of concern, he had only this to say: "As long as it feels natural and nothings forced, I don't see a problem."

Levi yawned, already dreading the desolate commute back to his condo. "I guess you're right, but I'm afraid of fucking up—again."

Erwin gave a slack expression for a while; Levi's words simmering in his head until fondness swept over his face. "I don't believe I ever heard you say you were afraid, and this is coming from a guy who saw you stare death in the face numerous times." He gave Levi a rough poke. " _You like her so much_."

"A little too much. I didn't expect to fall so hard so fast." Resting his head back, Levi gazed at the ceiling fan spinning faster than his relationship with Mikasa. "Is it normal to feel like you jumped off a ten story building when you like someone?"

Licking his lips in thought, Erwin's eyes filled with hurt. "I'm not sure. I haven't hit the ground yet. I've been falling for over fifteen years now and I have a feeling the landing is going to hurt."

"Hey," Levi's brows bunched up in the center as he reached out a hand, but Erwin rejected his console with a dismissive sniff. "Anyway, I hope you two settle down and have many babies in the future."

"And if you two do get together, I hope you never decide to adopt children with Nile." Erwin chucked cordially, but Levi was dead serious. "I mean it. That man has too many damn kids to keep track of to begin with. Did you know he has a baby now, too?"

"Of course I do. You do too."

"So I've been told."

"This isn't The Brady Bunch, he only has _three_  children. I bet you still don't even have their names memorized, do you?"

"Yes I do," Levi claimed, taking a second to recall their faces. In truth, he was actually quite forgetful, and had no desire to use precious memory space in his brain to retain useless details. "There's the obnoxious freckled face one, Ron. The little devil-spawn with witchy hair, Hermione. And I presume the baby has a lightning bolt on his head—Harry?"

"Those are the children from Harry Potter, Levi."

"Forgive me. They're total dead ringers."

Erwin let out a light chuckle. "The baby is a girl. Kathy is her name. Evan is the boy, Jessica is the girl."

"The baby takes after Nile, as I recall, so the name Harry would suit her more." Levi only prayed that the baby grew up to have a nicer beard than her dad.

Just as Erwin was about to scold him for bullying his precious niece, the bathroom door swept open and Nile emerged, steam seeping out around him. A towel orbited dangerously low on his hips, and another draped over his shoulder. Something told Levi that those towels were now more valuable to Erwin than the one's he just ordered over the phone.

"Do you have any clothes I could borrow?" Nile slurred groggily, looking hot and bloated from stewing in the tub too long. "All my stuff is unattainable at the moment."

"Of course, anything that is mine is yours," Erwin sputtered, his eyes locked on the towel, as if trying to drop it with his psychic mind powers.

With a sulking nod, Nile moped across the room, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the linoleum. Levi slowly turned his head to Erwin with a certain look on his face. And Erwin took his eyes off Nile's ass to meet that look with an angry glare. "This is why I don't tell you anything."

"I didn't say anything," Levi's eyes glinted with mirth.

Cursing under his breath, Erwin got up fitfully and followed after Nile.

Before leaving, Levi left behind his USB stick, loaded with his column. Maybe Erwin could edit it once he decided to abandon his role as a lovesick heroine. After brief thought, Levi lit a few of the many candles around the living room and turned on the stereo to get the mood right. Guttering flames and smooth jazz filled the room.

_And Mikasa says I'm not romantic_ , he thought and showed himself out.

** ~x~ **

All Mikasa wanted to do was enjoy a quiet Sunday morning and drink protein shakes, reminisce about last night and read a bit about the mayoral scandals teeming around the web. Instead, Mikasa stepped on the stage of a political debate, monitoring the squabbles of a Democrat and a Republican with strongly opposing opinions.

Currently, the Dimwitted Democrat had the floor. She barely had her eyes open and her ears were already being widely stretched open by copious amounts of praise coming from Levi's number one supporter.

"I wasn't sure about him at first, but he's really cool!" cooed Eren, referring to his new idol, Levi, for what felt like hours. With the way Eren went on and on about him, praising him with shiny eyes, you would've thought  _he_  was the one who went on the date.

"Eren, do me a favor and tone down the fanboy volume, will ya?" Jean was present of course, here to play his usual opposing role. Once he caught on to the insult, Jean received a fierce and silent glare from Eren. "Or mute it. Yeah. That's good too."

For a second, she thought Jean attempted to put an end to this debate, but realized he was just clearing unwanted noise so he could add in his own piece. Mikasa wished him and Eren would go back to watching their Sunday morning cartoons and leave the topic of Levi alone. Hearing praise in one ear and insults in the other was a recipe for a headache.

"Like I was saying," Jean steered back to Mikasa, "I don't like him."

"You're just jealous because Levi's cool and you're a loser." Eren slipped in that groundbreaking argument to defend his new friend. One point to the Democrat.

"Oh," Jean feigned offense, holding his chest. "I'm not cool by Eren's standards? I'm so wounded."

"At least he doesn't shop at Pacsun like you. He's trendy."

"Well excuse me for not shopping at Kid's-R-Us like him."

Mikasa snorted into her cup. One point to the Republican.

"Those jokes are getting old," Eren fumed. "Come up with a new insult, idiot."

"Says the same guy who calls me a horse fifteen times a day."

"What don't you like about him?" Fed up, Mikasa's let her voice slice between their dispute; her glass making a loud thud when she set it down to bring Jean's attention back to her. "Honestly, I wanna know. If this is just a jealousy mechanism turning on, then save it. But if there's something genuinely concerning you I want to know about it. You're my friend, Jean, your input matters."

With the spotlight on him, his arrogance slipped into the shadows. Fidgeting sheepishly, Jean looked unprepared, like he didn't expect Mikasa to question him directly. "I just...I don't like that he had that fight with you. I can't get over it. I feel like you're forgiving him too easy."

"It's hard to take that advice from you. You hang out with someone who berates you and teases you constantly," she answered.

"Eren and I are different."

"And so are Levi and I. See, I can deal those cards too."

Jean clenched his jaw tight, and Eren parted away to sprawl out on the couch to surf through the TV channels. "He's got nothing to say because he's full of shit. He's using the fight as an excuse to make Levi look bad."

Jean flogged back to him, tense as ever. "I'm  _worried_  about her, moron. I don't want this guy to break her heart or abuse her, okay?"

Strangely enough, Jean was able to describe his true feelings to Eren, which helped Mikasa understand where he was coming from now. "I know you're worried, Jean, and you have every right to be. If you entered a relationship with someone you initially didn't get along with I would be worried, too. I would also think you were going to get your heart broken or prolong an unhealthy relationship—but in the end I would have to respect your choice and let you do your own thing, and I'm asking you to do the same for me."

Stubbornly waving her words off, Jean gave out a defiant groan.

"If you turn out to be right," she continued, "I'll let you give me the third degree and poke me with  _told ya' so's_ for the rest of my life, and I might heed your advice in the future, but for now have a little faith. I know how to take care of myself."

Scratching his head with another groan, a defeated expression dominated his features. And just like that, Jean gave up and chuckled a little. "I suppose you did date me so your taste in men mustn't be  _too_  terrible."

"Hah," Eren chortled in the background. "Now that you say that, now _I'm_  worried. Mikasa has shit taste for dating you."

"Why don't you go jack off on cam with your beefy hunk?" At Jean's words, Mikasa braced herself for the imminent smack down.

Gripping for the nearest object, Eren flung a video game case and it left an instant indentation on Jean's forehead. "Shut your fucking mouth!"

Jean dove into the couch, too weak to stand as he held his aching sides and laughed uncontrollably. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Eren pounced on him, crawling on top of him to get a good grip on his polo collar. "Let it go already, dickface! I told you that was a girl with high testosterone levels!"

The excuse only made Jean breathless until he was almost crying, unable to feel Eren's blows through his force field of amusement.

Finishing up the rest of her shake, Mikasa hopped down from the stool and slid unnoticed into her bedroom, where she shut her door to muffle out the consecutive name calling and aggressive tussling. Heading over to her vanity, she picked up her phone and dialed Levi.

"Are you leaving for Stohess soon?" she asked once the line picked up. Giving greetings on the phone was not his thing, she realized, so she adapted to this new  _'get straight to the point as soon as he picked up'_  arrangement.

"I'm still awake from last night," which was immediately obvious from the way he drawled out his words like a melted record. "I'll probably go later in the evening instead after I get some sleep. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. You really shouldn't do that, though."

"Yeah, I've heard. I try not to. But there was an emergency that needed my attention. One of my friends—the one with the shitty facial hair we saw at the mall—had a fight with his wife and was a total wreck."

"Are you kidding? That's horrible." Dropping down to her bed, she thought back to the man. Beside his moody interactions with Levi, he seemed happy with his kids and mentioned his wife Christmas shopping... What could've started a fight in only a few hours?

"Actually, it was pretty funny. That's why I rushed over immediately to see it with my own eyes. I'm telling you, Mikasa, he was the embodiment of depression. It was beautiful."

Her eyes were locked on the picture of his grumpy face adorning her mirror, which added to the intensity to the vile thing that came from his mouth. "You really are an awful person. Why do I like you?"

"You should've asked yourself this before agreeing to be my girlfriend. I regret to inform you that you are now legally trapped with me."

She was grateful Levi couldn't see the timid smile spreading across her lips. "Stop talking or else I'll find a way to void our contract. Now, go get some sleep."

Levi groped for words on the other end. "...I'll try. I'm exhausted but can't seem to drift off. Maybe I should go to Stohess to tire myself out."

" _No_ ," Mikasa's exclaimed, belatedly regretting the added enthusiasm in her voice. "I mean—I don't think you should be driving. Sleep deprivation and intoxication are related: they're both equally dangerous."

A groggy chuckle crackled into her ear. "Does that mean you're worried about me?"

"Absolutely not. It means I don't want you to die over something idiotic, like your sleepy mind taking your GPS a little too literal."

"Fine, I won't drive. I have a boring article that desperately needs my attention, so I'll work on that until I knock myself out. Talk to you soon."

And that was the last conversation Mikasa had with Levi. Days have passed since, and he hadn't returned her messages or phone calls, or showed up at Stohess. Levi had, quite frankly, disappeared from the radar and left no warning or trace behind.

Because of the odd circumstances, it became impossible to enjoy the new perks of having a boyfriend. One of those perks being boy-talk discussions with a best friend. Yesterday at the campus library, Mikasa naturally found herself interrogated by Sasha, who wanted all the details about her best friends new love interest. Mikasa very much wanted to share all the behind the scenes details on how the spot of the leading man in her life came to be. She managed to tell her they were going steady, but she couldn't continue. An uneasy feeling interrupted their talk like a depressing third wheel tagging along.

How could she brag about her new relationship when it hadn't even evolved beyond Saturday night? With everything that happened between them that night, one would think those were the ingredients to a very promising relationship. But no. Instead of going on a second date, Levi went  _poof_  instead.

"Maybe he's still sleeping," mused Eren, who had been trying to create positive justifications behind Levi's disappearance after Mikasa explained her concern to him. "Sometimes I sleep for three days straight."

Anxiously, Mikasa tapped her cell against her chin, which had been glued to her palm for the past few days as she waited for Levi to contact her. "That doesn't seem like Levi. He's active, unlike you." She slunk down deeper into the couch, leaning her head against Eren's shoulder. Levi might've missed out on some sleep last they spoke, but there's no way a working adult could get away with sleeping for three days straight, which meant Levi had to be conscious out there somewhere. She just didn't understand why a man so dead-set on making one-thousand impressions had ceased to make another since Sunday morning.

"Maybe we should put fliers around the city. We could crop out that picture you guys took and the flier can read:  _'Missing Manlet. 5'3, 500 pounds in muscle and prone to hiss and scratch. Please bring him back to his loving home. Helpful hint: You might be able to entice him with cleaning products, but lizards will make him flee'_."

A flimsy smirk rippled over her lips at Eren's attempt to cheer her up. "What would the reward be?"

Humming, Eren pinched his lip in thought. "They'll be invited to our exclusive Christmas party. By the way, are you going to invite Levi?"

"If I ever find him, yeah," she huffed, lifting her head up to rub her face vigorously. "Maybe he changed his mind about me and he doesn't know how to tell me." Without any confirmation, her mind automatically landed on the worst case scenario. Maybe she moved too fast and scared him off. But in all fairness,  _he_  technically kissed  _her_  and he was the one who asked her to go steady. She couldn't pinpoint anything she could've done that repelled him.

Eren shook his head wildly. "There's gotta be another reason."

Mikasa didn't argue with him because deep down, she didn't believe her pessimistic thoughts either. It wouldn't make sense for Levi to avoid her after making the effort to redeem their relationship and take it to the next level. But this didn't make her feel any better, however. If Levi wasn't avoiding her, then what was he doing? Where was he? Something had to be wrong. Not only did he always reply to her messages, but Levi never missed out on the gym, he said so himself, yet she hadn't bumped into him once. That alone made her danger meter spike.

Last night she even tried searching for him at Stohess, thinking he went later due to his whacked out sleeping schedule. She hung around until two a.m.—but he never showed up. The day before she asked Reiner and Bertholt if they saw him around, but they only offered a solemn shake of the head.

Even if he's just busy, that didn't excuse him from not texting her to tell her so. Everyone could spare five minutes within a time lapse of three days, no matter how busy they were. Unless his phone was broke? That wouldn't explain why he couldn't send her a Skype or email.

The morning of ultimate woe landed on a Wednesday, which was of course poetically befitting but did not befit Mikasa's already stressful state. Still feeling utterly stumped about Levi's disappearance, Mikasa carried a heavy weight of hopelessness with her to Stohess Fitness. Before she went off into the locker rooms, she peeked into the fruit bar and did a quick scan around. The bright space teemed with people, but none of the faces matched Levi's. Before glumly moving on, she glanced at their empty booth at the back. It made her heart sink.

Mikasa exited the locker rooms, garbed in an unmatched, baggy outfit that screamed:  _'I probably won't see Levi again today so I don't care what I look like'_ followed by a delayed echo: _'Actually, I didn't do laundry because I'm confused and sad.'_

While hoping a certain manlet would be hogging the machine she wanted to use, she headed straight to the weight section, set on burning off her stress.

Halfway across the gym, somewhere within the pollution of public noise, her ears sieved out a familiar chuckle. Her head lashed over to gander on the source, and she spotted a tall figure—and after a quick double-take she spotted someone else.

There, in the distance, she found the only two people in the world that could possibly offer her a map to locate the lost treasure she's been searching for. Diverting from her set path, she leaped into a jog and hastened her way across the cluttered space. All along she kept her eyes locked on the two men, fearing they might pull a mysterious disappearing act just like Levi if she didn't hurry.

As she weaved herself between the machines and trainers, she watched Erwin pull himself over the chin-up bar, smugly holding his weight with one hand for a long period. His presumed exercise partner, Nile, kicked at him like a hanging boxing bag to unbalance the showoff.

Short of breath, she arrived in front of them. "Hey, remember me?"

Nile turned to her with uplifting brows, and when Erwin spotted her, he dropped down from the bar with a thud, greeting her with a mouthful of blinding teeth. "Of course I do. You're the one who soused Levi with water. You're my hero."

"Nice to see ya' again," Nile gave a crooked smile, like half of him wanted to continue frowning and forget his courtesies. The golden wedding band he was twisting around his finger reminded Mikasa of what Levi told her on the phone a few days ago about his troubles with his wife. It wasn't her business, and she shouldn't know about this strangers issues to begin with, but she couldn't help but hope he and his kids were holding together okay. But more than anything, she hoped Levi was doing okay.

Nervously, as she still searched around for her missing manlet, she twisted her fingers around the drawstrings of her hoodie. "Is...Is Levi with you?"

Erwin pressed his lips together, hesitant to speak. "No, sorry. I'm guessing you can't get in touch with him either?"

The use of the word  _either_  inflicted her with more worry; the weight heavy enough to make her knees feel rickety. She had hoped they could've offered a remedy to this ongoing enigma. Desperately, she wanted everything to click back into order, but the pieces only scattered further apart. Now she was sure of it. Something had gone horribly wrong.

"Do you know if everything's alright with him or...?"

Not wanting any part in the conversation, Nile shoved a water bottle into Erwin chest and subtracted himself from the conversation by turning away. Broodingly, Erwin rubbed the icy condensation against his cheek. "I'm sure he's fine, at home working, most likely. I try to let him have his creative freedom, but once a few days pass I start to get worried."

"That idiot is stuck in another one of his writing binges." Irritated, Nile whirled back around with a scowl. "He pulls this shit all the time. He has no damn consideration for anyone. He stops sleeping for days, then shuts the world off."

"You know he doesn't mean to do that, he can't help it. I don't even think he's completely conscious of it." Erwin peeled his eyes over to Nile, his defensive mother-mode booting on.

"I don't think so." Mikasa knew it had to be more than work keeping Levi from communicating with her and showing up at the gym. "He hasn't even answered his phone. I'm worried it might be something more serious."

"If Nile is right, then _it is_  serious." Erwin closed in in her, clutching her shoulder. "The last time he did that he ended up in the hospital to treat his acute insomnia."

A flash of anxiety rushed through Mikasa. As she ran her hands tentatively up her arms, she realized she didn't know Levi as well as she thought. "I didn't know he had insomnia. Is it really that bad?"

Erwin nodded gravely, then retracted his hand from her shoulder and crossed his arms. "It's bad. Chronically bad, but he refuses to take prescription meds to treat it. It's tolerable most of the time, but like most terrible things, it comes in waves."

"Disastrous tidal waves," Nile added quietly.

"Yeah. But this phase comes with benefits as well. I like to call this his ovulating cycle." Erwin mentioned in an effort to explain, but he only ended up confusing Mikasa more.

"More like PMS," Nile turned his head dismissively.

"No," Erwin transitioned into seriousness, like he personally took track of Levi's womanly cycles. "Levi is always PMSing. Ovulation time is different, he's creatively fertile." Erwin flashed red, like he forgot Mikasa was there for a second. "Sorry if I'm being offensive here, but I call it his ovulation cycle because Levi's creatively fertile during this time. The rest of the time he's blocked and sterile of ideas."

"But there's a price to pay. The cost is his health and the sanity of everyone who cares about him."

At Nile's words, Mikasa's insides flipped and churned like a whirlpool of stomach acid was raging inside her.

"He's probably fine." Erwin closed his eyes a moment, then reopened them on Mikasa with a genuine smile. "But it'll take the help of other's to get him out of this rut. He doesn't normally talk to anyone during this time, so don't worry, he's not ignoring you and he's probably not too delirious, yet. I bet he didn't bother charging his phone or he turned if off to avoid distractions."

"He's on auto pilot when he gets like that," Nile explained. "He'll just keep doing the same shit over and over again, like writing or cleaning without sleep until someone snaps him out of it and forces him to sleep. If it wasn't for Erwin saving his ass over the years he would've fainted from exhaustion or had a heart attack by now."

Speechless, Mikasa pressed her fingers to her mouth, her brows elevated toward the center in concern.

"He has a lot of work," said Levi's editor. "He's been falling behind lately so he's probably trying to make up for lost time, but now he probably has no sense of time and doesn't know how long he's been working. I promise you, he's okay. This is a normal and frequent occurrence. After a nap and some nutrition he'll be back to his grumpy self."

Noting that his words did little to nothing in cheering her up, he added, "I'm stopping by to check on him once I leave here. I could give you a ring and keep you updated if you want."

"Yes, please. I would appreciate that."

The two of them exchanged numbers, then discussed Levi a while longer. During the chat, Erwin returned to his routine by holding the bar securely and bending his legs over the rail. Leaning back, he casually continued his conversation upsidedown. Nothing too worthy of interest was said, other than Erwin giving her advice on how to handle him during his sleep-deprived states. Most of it seemed like common sense to her. Nevertheless, she archived all these tips for future reference.

Judging by Nile's harrowing expression, the subject of Levi was enough to give him a hemorrhoid. Having enough, he intervened with, "I'm sick of talking about him. Let's hit the showers and go check up on the idiot and settle this once and for all—at least until he does it again next month."

"The showers?" Apparently, that's the only snippet Erwin heard out of Nile's entire sentence.

Mikasa now noticed Erwin went red in the face, but she passed that off as a result of being upside down. With an agile swing upward, Erwin grasped the bar and gracefully swung himself back to his feet. Eager to depart from Mikasa suddenly, he said, "I'll be in touch," and he trudged his way to the men's locker room with Nile following leisurely behind.

** ~x~ **

Years of secretly texting her friends in class had taught Mikasa a valuable life skill: checking her phone when she wasn't supposed to. Sidling off from her position at the register, she concealed herself behind the coffee machine, slipped out her phone and browsed through her messages for what felt like the dozenth time this hour.

Seeing the empty inbox again made her hum a sorrowful note.

This was beginning to feel like an endless loop of waiting and disappointment. She thought Erwin would've dropped a text or called her by now.

Trying to render up some patience, she thrust her phone back in her pocket and let a mantra of positive thoughts sing in her head as she returned to her post. Erwin said he was going to check up on Levi and she believed he had every intention to do so. Erwin obviously cared about Levi a great deal and was probably a hell of a lot more worried than some chick who barely knew him—but it's been a few hours now, and with every ticking minute gone by she not only worried more, but became skeptical of the legitimacy of Erwin's promise.

In a situation like this, negativity was bound to hurt her before any bad news did, so she tried to brainstorm some logical reason. Perhaps he had some errands to run or had to accompany Nile with something. Taking a deep breath, she grasped the edge of the counter to collect herself before returning to her barista duties.

When her phone began to buzz in her pocket an hour later, she hurtled the freshly brewed mocha onto the customer's hand and quickly answered it, not caring about the rules against taking personal phone calls during work. There's a intolerant policy about showing displays of affection and dating your coworker, but that didn't stop Ymir and Christa from using Starbucks as their personal love nest.

"Levi?" she had answered without even glancing at the caller ID.

"It's Erwin. Sorry I took so long to get back to you. One of Nile's kids got sick and we had to pick her up from school early—then we got stuck at the pharmacy for a while."

"That's okay." A dry lump formed in her throat. "I assume you didn't get around to checking on Levi yet?"

"I'm in his condo as we speak." For a second, Mikasa's worry dwindled, at least until he continued, "He's not here, which is odd, but he does wander off sometimes when he's in these states."

Her head switched on to spin cycle mode. As a number of places Levi could've wander off to circulated around her head, she heard a drowned out voice in the background, one that belonged to a little girl.

She then heard Erwin's tone spike alertly, "Uh oh, Nile... I think Jessica's going to be sick again—try to lead her to the bathro—" but his order drowned out at the sound of a gag followed by a sickly splat.

Wrinkling her nose, Mikasa shifted the cell from her ear to lessen the intensity of the stomach turning sounds.

Erwin grunted at the mess Mikasa was grateful not to witness. "I knew we should've dropped her back home before coming here. Levi's gonna kill me."

If Mikasa wasn't harboring all these uneasy feelings, she would've found the notion of a kid puking on Levi's floor to be quite funny.

"I'll clean it up," she heard Nile say in the background.

"Anyway," Erwin directed his voice back to the phone. "The last time he wandered off I found him at The Underground. I'll give his siblings a ring and ask if they saw him. I'll keep you posted."

Swallowing thickly, Mikasa gave a weak, "Thanks, Erwin. I hope you find him," and disconnected from the line. Feeling as though she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Mikasa wilted over the counter, her head landing down with a thump as she cradled her jumpy stomach.

When her and Levi first established their contracts and the disadvantages that came with them, she had warned him that she became attached too easy, but she realized now that she should've been warning herself. All she wanted right now was to see Levi and know he's okay and safe. Knowing Levi was sleep deprived and working himself to death was already scary enough on its own, but knowing he's out and about, likely _driving_  while in this state horrified her. What if he gets into a crash? What if he gets lost and doesn't remember how to get back home? This was getting bad—and she soon realized she  _had it bad_  for him to feel the way she did.

"Excuse me," uttered a wispy voice that was rough around the edges.

Not in the mood to render proper professionalism, she sluggishly inclined her head up and ran her slack eyes over the hunched man swaying on the other side of the counter.

It took her disordered mind a moment to register what she was seeing.

" _Levi_ ," she gasped and propelled forward, grabbing the dazed man by the collar. In the matter of seconds she went from startled to relieved...to angry. "Where the fuck have you been?"

He didn't even flinch, or blink—but he didn't see her, his eyes were straining up at the menu. "Give me two strong cups of coffee. No, three. No. Never mind, just open up a tab and keep them coming."

"Levi," she leaned closer, shaking him gently to gain his attention.

And his pouchy eyes, circled in dark pigment, finally lowered to her, and his sleepy lids popped open. "Shit. I forgot you worked here," he said, seeing her for the first time.

Curling her lip, she let go of his collar with a shove. "Nice one, asshole. I've been worried about you for days and that's the greeting I get?"

Twitching at her words, his gaze darted off her. "That came out wrong. I meant I didn't want you to see me like this."

And she could understand why after a brief inspection. Those piercing blue eyes of his had lost all liveliness; they were dilated and glossy and ringed in black, and his skin was as pale as ever. He was garbed in a faded gray sweater; the condition suggested it had too many trips in the washing machine. It drooped passed his hips and the floppy sleeves, that were currently rubbing at his swollen eyes, nearly reached his knuckles.

"Levi...you need sleep."

He shook his head weakly. The mussed condition of his hair told her he had stressfully yanked at it quite a bit.

A vision of Levi in a grand hall tapping away on a typewriter while repeatedly writing the phrase:  _'All work and no play makes Levi a dull boy,'_  suddenly harassed her thoughts. Since Mikasa wasn't particularly in the mood to run through a maze away from an axe welding Levi, she sought out ways to convince him to sleep. "Whatever work you have, it could wait. Take a quick nap and return to your work when you wake up."

Riveting his attention back to the menu, he grunted, like that was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. "I can't. I'm on a roll and if I go to sleep before I finish it, I'll never finish."

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"It makes perfect sense. I write better when I'm like this. Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice."

"That's a stupid way of saying you're going to kill yourself from sleep deprivation."

"Don't argue with Napoleon Hill. He was and still is a God to non-fiction writers."

Tilting her head, she looked at him with pity. What a shame. Her first boyfriend in years had snapped before she could even go on a second date with him.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Like four—" he squinted up, "—ty hours? Maybe more. Unless... Wait, is today Tuesday?"

"Wednesday."

"Oh. Much more than." He slurred, then stared at nothing for a while in silence, like he fell asleep with his eyes open.

"You need sleep," she stressed, waving a hand by his face until he jarred awake.

"Or the simulated equivalent. Make me the strongest coffee legally allowed." He then fished through his messenger bag strapped to his shoulder and threw down a random amount of cash. Mikasa might be a new hire, but she was pretty sure a cup of coffee didn't cost fifty-three dollars, six cents, two mints and a bottled of sanitizer.

"Do you expect me to be your caffeine dealer? In your current condition, that's just as healthy as giving you a mountain of cocaine." Bartenders have the right to cut off drunks who went over their limits—barista's should have the same authority.

"You know what they say: coffee if a poor man's cocaine."

" _Levi_."

"Mikasa," his eyes were icy enough to skate on. "I have to get my work done."

"Excuse me, miss? Could you please just take his order?" A customer with a tight bun and a tighter frown skewed from behind Levi. "I need four lattes before my lunch break ends."

"Yes, listen to the lady. Take my order."

Just when Mikasa felt that she had no choice other than to pump her boyfriend fatal amounts of caffeine, a distraction entered the space. From the looks of it, Ymir and Christa were finished with their daily make out session in the back room—or as they called it:  _'ordering cups and napkins'_.

As she was readjusting her tangled pony tail, Ymir spotted Levi, and her eyes crushed on him, causing her face to deform into a vile scowl. Making a shooing gesture, like she was trying to scare away an unwanted pest, she shouted, "Who summoned you? For the last time, we don't have any gold here. Away with you, leprechaun."

While Levi stared her down—or perhaps fell asleep again, Ymir slid in front, like she was a member of Mikasa's personal secret service squad. "Is this asshole bothering you? I could get rid of him."

"No, there's no problem," Mikasa assured over the sound of Ymir's cracking knuckles.

"There most certainly is a problem," the tight bunned woman intervened. "He's holding up the line!"

"I wouldn't hold up the line if she would just take my order," he countered before sending a pleading gaze at Ymir. "Could you make me coffee? I'll get out of your face if you do."

Groaning, she picked at her nail indifferently, then flicked the collected dirt at him. "Get it yourself, shorty."

"Okay." In an instant, Levi steered around the counter, but Mikasa quickly stepped in front of his path.

"Levi— _no_ , you can't come back here." But words weren't enough to block his driving force. And even when she tried to push him back, it was like trying to stop a fray train with her bare hands, and so she ended up run down by him. All she could do was idly stand by as he fixed himself an extra, extra strong coffee. It looked like he scooped up a cup of swamp mud.

Clawing at the brim of the lid in that unstable manner of his, he turned away, but the lid came loose and the cup crashed down to the floor with a splat. A splosh of brown doused the floor and his and Mikasa's shoes. The motion was so fast that his sleep-deprived brain didn't even process this yet, she knows this because he lifted the cupless lid to his lips for a drink.

"Oh my god, go sit down," her eyes flared open. "I'll get you a cup, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay," she said with a sigh as she pushed him out from behind the counter. Scuffling to a window seat, Levi settled in and proceeded to just stare at, or though, Mikasa.

"I'll clean that up," Christa said down at the mess on the floor.

Returning to her post as Christa's personal cuddlier, Ymir's arms hung over her girlfriend like a freckled scarf. "Don't worry about it, Mikasa will get it later."

Recoiling back in scathing annoyance, Mikasa bared her teeth at her. "How did you even come to be manager?" Mikasa couldn't fathom how Ymir's work ethic impressed the higher ups.

"The owner thinks I'm his grandson," Ymir explained. "Yes, you heard right, grand _son_. Since I didn't deny these allegations, I received a raise and a promotion."

The white house looked less corrupt in comparison to this place, Mikasa decided as got back to work, and Ymir decided to supervise the shop by glowering at Levi. Her eyes gleamed with fury, like how a bull stared at red. "He comes in here about once a month, just like my Aunt Flo. Both are unwelcome visits."

Christa strained her chin up to look at her girlfriend. "I didn't know you had an aunt visiting you so often."

With her cheeks dusted with natural rouge, Ymir squeezed her crushingly tight. "Don't ever change. Stay this innocent forever." But with the seemingly annoying presence of Levi being near, she couldn't indulge very long in her usual affections. "Ugh, he makes me sick. Just looking at him makes me bloated."

"I'm tired, not deaf," Levi remarked as he unzipped his bag and set up his laptop. "Stop making menstrual analogies about me."

Ignoring his wishes, Ymir spitefully went on, "He comes in every month or so tapping away on his MacBook, pretending to be a writer as he sips on plain coffee because anything with flavor is too 'mainstream'. His wardrobe is usually more swanky, but today I see he's going for that secondhand-esque look," she spat with derision. "Damn hipsters. This place is a breeding ground for them."

"He's a working adult that showers and hates selfies, obviously he isn't a hipster," Mikasa defended him, nearly finished with the latte order. "But he is a very dumb man that doesn't know how to take care of himself."

Ymir rubbed her chin suspiciously. "...I take it you guys are friendly?"

Mikasa braced herself for the impending shitstorm. "...We're sort of dating."

" _What_?!" Ymir launched forward with big open grin and nearly knocked her girlfriend off her feet. "You're dating him?! You gotta be shitting me!"

The sound of tapping keys abruptly halted, like a mad pianist making a dramatic finish. "Still not deaf," Levi reminded her.

Ymir veered in his direction aggressively. "You know, you'd be a lot more tolerable if you were that mute dwarf from Snow White."

"Your girlfriend is like four foot and you're calling me short?"

"Don't talk about my girl or else you'll get a surprise in your coffee next time you're in here," Ymir shouted back at him, having no consideration for the other customers trying to have a peaceful afternoon. Rowdy bars were more tranquil and orderly than this chaotic coffee shop.

"Pretty sure  _my girl_  wouldn't allow whatever scheme you're planning."

And at Levi's words, red festered on her cheeks. Hearing him call her  _'my girl'_  made her heart flutter and those two simple words echoed in her mind. The fuzzy sensation didn't last long, however, because a beat later Levi was waving her down, demanding coffee. Who knew being in the presence of an insomniac on a literary mission could be so mentally draining. At least he was okay—knowing that gave her the boost she needed to carry on.

"If he dies of a heart attack after I serve him, would you two vouch for me?" Mikasa asked her coworkers. " I'm not really in the mood to go to jail for this."

"Don't worry," Ymir wave Mikasa off dismissively. "I've been trying to kill that little runt for months. Nothing will put him out of his misery."

Mikasa didn't have the energy to pursue the motives behind Ymir's blood thirst. Instead, she worked on making his order as she watched Levi from afar, sitting there moiling on his computer. One of his eyes were squinted from the fingers of light obliquely caressing his face as his hand tangled in his hair in frustration.

"So," Ymir snapped her out of her stare. "What's the story with you and Levi?"

"I should ask you, why do you hate him?"

Ymir shot her head to the ceiling in recall, letting the rage inside her return to a boil. "He came in here a few months ago wired as hell, worse than how he is now. He became hostile with Christa and made her cry. Ever since it has been my lifetime aspiration to make him cry."

Mikasa looked between Levi and Christa, trying to illustrate how that argument went down. She pictured two little mice squeaking profoundly at each other. "Good luck with your revenge."

"I'll need it. One time I 'accidentally' split hot coffee on him and he didn't even flinch. I don't think that man feels pain. I don't think he even has tear ducts. Or a heart. Is he human?"

"At least you know what you're up against."

"Something tells me you don't." Ymir bumped into her with a sneer, making her spill some of the coffee. "Was he your boy problem from before?"

"Yeah. We worked it out though."

"Man, if I knew it was him I  _never_  would've attempted to cheer you up. I would've called you a dumbass and moved on from it." Ymir slid back behind Christa, dissing Mikasa with a flick of the wrist. "If it doesn't work out—and it won't—be sure to record your break up. I imagine after losing a chick like you, there should be some hurt in his eyes. That should quench my thirst to see him suffer."

Mikasa didn't let her negative outlook on their relationship penetrate too deep. "Yeah, sure."

"You know, Ymir…" Christa spoke up hesitantly in a small voice. "Levi and I made up a while ago. He's actually pretty nice."

Endearingly stubborn as always, Ymir tossed her head wildly at her claim. "You're so afraid of him you're speaking  _nonsense_."

"No, really," she insisted. "He reminds me of Mikasa in some ways. They're both reserved, but they both have short tempers."

"I do not have a short temper," Mikasa objected with a bitter scowl.

"I don't mean that in a bad way. You're a good person, Mikasa, and I think Levi is too. I could see why you're drawn to each other. Everyone snaps under too much stress sometimes. I can hardly hold a grudge against him for being human."

"Christa, weren't you even paying attention?" Ymir pinched her cheek, making the girl wince. "We already determined he's  _not_  human."

As Ymir and Christa debated back and forth about the authenticity of Levi's human existence, Mikasa relocated herself to Levi's table to serve him his drink, feeling as if she served a shot to a recovering alcoholic.

Yawning, tears trickled out the corner of his drooping eyes as he blindly reached for his cup as his other hand continued to assault the worn in keys of his laptop.

Slowly, she pulled out the chair beside him and eased herself down. "Levi."

No answer.

Sighing, she rested her hands on the table top, patiently waiting until his train of thought was logged into his computer before speaking again. "Erwin told me about your insomnia."

"It's self-induced. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." She noted his slumped posture, and how he didn't look like the well-groomed man she knew. "I was...worried about you."

"Sorry," he said sincerely, clicking down the lid of his computer. "That was the complete opposite of my intention. Magazine articles take too much time to write but they never give you enough. I thought if I got it done I would have more free time to spend with you, and I wouldn't have the lingering worry of getting this done."

"Are you almost done?"

"If I feel like handing in a shitty manuscript that would ruin my reputation, then yes. In truth, it's rough and not at all how I envisioned it. I was feeling so inspired—I don't know what happened."

Remembering what Erwin told her, it did seem strange. "I wonder why... Erwin told me how you become creatively fertile when you get like this—I think he called it your ovulation cycle."

"I expect no less from a man who reads chick lit and owns enough beauty products to pay for my condo twice over."

A smirk stretched her lips. "Tell me, why is someone who accommodates a condo in Sina City sitting in a grubby Starbucks? Wouldn't your place be a better writing environment?"

"Nonstop construction going on in the unit next door," he wove his arms together as he explained. "It was tolerable at first, but all that hammering started to feel like a jackhammer to the skull. In order to continue my work and save my sanity, I needed to find a quiet haven."

She didn't bother telling him that this place was about as quiet as a concert arena. Heaving back in her chair, she eyed the sighing Levi. "I might be tough to get to sleep with your neighbors being that loud."

"I can't sleep until I'm done working anyway," he reminded her before dragging his eyes back to his reopened laptop. "When I'm done, they might be done with the construction and then I can sleep."

"Done working for the day or done with the entire renovation?" she asked skeptically. "I'm beginning to think you don't plan on sleeping by the end of the day."

"It all depends on how fast I get my work done."

A quick glance at the growing line at the register suggested she ought to get back to work. Muddling her own feelings with Levi's personal life wasn't a mixture she wanted to concoct this early in the relationship, but seeing how Levi was no different than a vulnerable (not to mention stupid) child, she had no other choice. She'll have to fill the role as step-mom in Erwin's absence. "Well, you better work faster," she ordered as she pushed herself from the table, "because you have until my shift is over. That's your deadline. Then you're in  _my_  care."

"Do you plan on nursing me?" he eyed her playfully. "I realize I'm giving off the impression of a lunatic that escaped an institution, but I can take care of myself."

"Obviously you can't or else you wouldn't be in this state. You're spending the night at my place. I can't free you back out into the wild until you're well rested."

Before he could comment on her proposal, she handed him another order. "And please, call Erwin. Tell him you're okay and with me. He's worried about you."

"Can't. Phones at home," said Levi in a native zombie accent.

Digging into her pocket, she slapped down her cellphone on the table. " _Call him_."

Squeezing his tired eyes tight, he relented with a bob of the head. "Fine, I will. But please,  _please_  don't turn into another Erwin. I don't need two mother-figures."

"It's kind of hard not to gain yourself a gang of worried mother's when you act like this." And with that, Mikasa twirled back to her post, and after a brief chat with Erwin on the phone, Levi returned to work.


	11. Night of Respite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys. I have little time to write fics nowadays, but I'm still working on my stories when I have time to spare. Unfortunately this means updates won't be super frequent, I'm afraid. OTL
> 
> Anyway. Originally this chapter was supposed to go in an entirely different direction, and for the longest time I kept trying to force that plot until I realized it just didn't fit right. So, apologies if this chapter feels off—I couldn't come up with a plot that topped the one I initially planned. I ran into a lot of repercussions while rewriting because I tried squeezing in scenes that were necessary for future chapters and, ugh, it was a mess lol. In the end, this version is better because the first draft, despite being more eventful, actually threw off the vibe of the story. Personally, I'm not too happy with how this chapter came out, but the more I try to improve it, the worst it gets, so I just have to publish it and move on to the next chapter (which will be in Jean's POV. I'm super excited about that!)

Once he packed up his laptop, Levi wearily lifted himself from the table and disposed of the grande cup army he had accumulated. Mikasa couldn't believe someone actually lasted a whole day inside a Starbucks without getting paid for it. _That's gotta be a new record_ , she thought. Anxious to leave, he headed for the exit next, Mikasa following close behind.

Even in his sleepy state, Levi had the courtesy to hold the door open for her. "I need to stop by my place before you kidnap me for the evening."

"That's fine," Mikasa replied, looping another layer of her scarf around her neck. "I'll drive you."

Levi gave her a testy look as they made their way across the crosswalk. "I can drive myself," said the man scuffling into the somber parking garage like he was infected with a zombie virus. "I'll meet you back at your place."

"Nice try."

"I'm not trying to _ditch_ you."

The tail lights of Mikasa's car flashed a smear of red onto the concrete as she unlocked it from afar. As she unlatched the hatchback to throw in her bag, Levi stood in the middle of the lane, eyeing his parked car in the distance.

"You'll just get stuck working, or you'll wander off again. Besides, it's not safe for you to be behind the wheel right now. I'm driving you. Your car will be fine here over night."

Dejectedly, Levi took one last look at his Mustang before he fussily stuffed himself into the passenger's seat of Mikasa's Cruiser, slamming the door shut. "I live in the Rose Historical District, across from that French bistro place."

The engine came to life with a twist of her key. "That's one of the nicest districts in Sina City. I'm kind of jealous."

An impassive shrug later, he said, "It's okay, I guess. But I warn you, don't ever buy a place because it's nice. I thought the harbor view from the veranda was nice—at first. As it turns out there's nothing _nice_ about boats blowing their horns six in the morning. Every morning. What are they even blowing their horns for? Skiffs and fish? I should complain to the city."

It didn't take much to fire Levi up. This one's a little pistol, ready to fire off any moment. Mikasa found herself liking that about him, though. Levi's sour disposition made his smiles all the sweeter.

"You won't be hearing any early horns where I live. You can sleep in as late as you want."

Levi replied with silence. Nothing to complain about, she supposed.

A dusting of snow speckled the windshield as the car maneuvered its way down the strip. Lining the street were antique stores, bakeries, gift shops and rose shrubs that would bloom in the spring and sprinkle the neighborhood with rich pastel color. For now, the hibernating rose shrubs blanketed in snow and the scenery looked dull under the gray filter of winter.

Mikasa never spend much time in the historical side of town. She loved the appeal, but every shop on the block was too expensive to even browse in. Therefore, she wasn't all that familiar with the layout. "I'm not sure where this French bistro is. I'll need some clear directions."

"I live in the tall building with the modern architecture. It's impossible to miss."

And suddenly she knew exactly where their destination was. Her lips lopsided. "...You mean the one that doesn't fit the vintage aesthetics at all?" She directed a groan at Levi, as if him being a resident there made him responsible for the impetuous design of the building. "That eye sore always annoyed me. It ruins the whole theme of the district."

A sneer sliced across his face. "It's only fitting that I live in a place that annoys you."

And annoyed her it did. The whole area emulated the impression of a Victorian town inside a snow globe, until they pulled to a stop in front of the luxurious, yet oddly out-of-place condo complex; it was like seeing a sports car on a horse-racing track. Why they decided to build it _here_ of all places, she had no idea. _So this is where Levi lives..._ she thought, marveling the looming tower.

Pushing open the door, Levi scrambled out of the vehicle and vanished into the revolving doors out front. During the wait, Mikasa entertained herself by watching all the suit-wearing men and pencil-skirted women coming in and out of the condo. Rich socialites and Sina City's over-achievers came and went until Levi, after getting lost in the revolving doors for a few rounds, emerge with an over-cumbered dufflebag, looking just as out-of-place among the rich types as this modern condo in the midst of a historical district.

"Did you fit everything you own in there alright?" Mikasa suspiciously eyed the lumpy bag as Levi settled back into the car.

"Everything but the vacuum," he slammed the door shut. "It's been a while since I attended a sleepover. I want to be prepared, so I brought everything I thought I might need."

"I'm willing to bet most of the crap you have stored in there is cleaning products."

Turning to face the side window, Levi fell completely silent.

Twisting in her seat, Mikasa stretched out an arm over his headrest and zoomed in on him. "Let's set one thing straight: You're not coming over to clean. You're coming over to get a good night's sleep. That's it."

"But if I can't sleep..." he muttered, planting a pair of desperate eyes on her, "can I tidy up Eren's room? Ever since I saw it I can't stop thinking of it. I want to get my hands on it."

". . . . . ." Mikasa lost her voice briefly. "You almost sounded aroused."

"And you sound jealous."

"And _you_ sound delirious." Jealousy wasn't the right word, but when a girl invited her boyfriend over to spend the night, it seemed unorthodox to get aroused at the thought of cleaning rather than being with his girlfriend. But it didn't matter. It's not like she wanted Levi's hands on her instead—as of right now, at least.

Mikasa couldn't believe she was about to say this, because Eren's room was a filthy landfill of dirty clothes, unwashed dishes and even dirtier porn, but she put her foot down. "I stand by what I said, no cleaning. You need rest."

"What about after I sleep...can I clean it in the morning?"

Considering, she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. "If you want to that badly...I guess?" This, of course, sounded more like a cruel punishment than a reward, but Levi didn't see it that way and quickly agreed to the deal.

Before clutching her gear, Mikasa took another careful look at Levi, and asked, "When's the last time you ate?"

His bottom lip drooped open as he drawled on a long, "Uh..."

"Don't strain yourself thinking. I already have my answer."

"I don't have much of an appetite."

"Probably because your stomach is eating itself. How about we stop in that bistro real quick?" she pointed at the compacted eatery across the street. "You won't be able to get a good nights sleep on an empty stomach."

"Wow," he said with too much enthusiasm. "You'd give Erwin a run for his money. That's the most motherly thing I've heard all week. I'd pay to see you two battle it out and put your nurturing skill to the test."

She sighed impatiently. "Are you up to it or not?"

"Yeah, I guess," he swung open the door and languidly lifted himself out of the car. Together they crossed the slushy road and stood under the pinstripe awning as they wiped their shoes on the mat.

Once inside, Mikasa took in the sights of the scraggly plants and framed paintings adorning the walls. A potent vanilla aroma and toasty heating consumed the air. The narrow space was deprived of people, save for the staff and a family seated at the very back. With the absence of music and public chatter it sounded oddly quiet, but Mikasa figured that might be best considering Levi's delicate state.

"I bet you come in here a lot," she said, shimming out of her jacket after the host lead them to a dark corner booth.

"Unfortunately," he groaned, rolling up his sleeves. "Erwin likes to have meetings here. I personally don't like the pompous vibe."

Mikasa nodded, belatedly noticing that they were under-dressed compared to the bowtie-wearing servers. There was something else she belatedly noticed, too, when she gazed across the table: a subtle shadow along Levi's jawline.

"I like it," she gestured her hand at her face. "The stubble. It suits you."

Levi rubbed at his grainy hairs, making a face that suggested he hated what he felt. "Don't get used to it. I just try to stay away from sharp objects when I'm sleep deprived."

"Smart."

Levi picked up a spoon from the table, his dark-rimmed eyes widening with disgust at the reflection it showed. "I hadn't any time to gussy up, as you can tell. I look like shit."

"I just worked a busy shift, I'm no beauty queen either."

"And we both reek of coffee and debility. We're kindred spirits, you and I."

Mikasa smirked at that and let her eyes fall to the menu, and Levi picked up his own. For a few silent moments she browsed through the list of specials until she became distracted by Levi moving the menu back and forth in her peripheral vision. Mikasa rose her head again to see Levi blinking rapidly, as if his eyes couldn't clearly focus on the print.

"Do you need glasses?" she wondered.

"What makes you say that?" he said dismissively, squinting his eyes with the menu an inch from his face. "My eyesight is flawless."

"Right..." Mikasa figured Levi probably had decent vision, but after straining his eyes at a computer screen for days and neglecting sleep, his eyes were too tired to work properly. Mikasa couldn't relate to someone with insomnia at all—she maintained a decent sleeping scheduled for the most part, and even when she flipped to nocturnal hours she never missed much sleep over it. That didn't stop her from feeling sympathetic toward him, though.

Reaching out, Mikasa dragged his hand down so she could look at him without the menu obscuring his face. Before he could question her, she took in a nervous breath, cinching his hand tighter. "You know, when you disappeared I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"You just had to twist the hilt of the guilt sword again," he spat with a hint of remorse, "didn't you?"

"I don't mean to make you feel bad, I was just..." her eyes trailed aside, the words stuck in her throat. "Worried. I was worried. Back when we had that fight I couldn't stop thinking about you then either, but this time was different. All I wanted was to see you."

When her gaze returned to Levi, his features remained placidly still until the outer corners of his eyes crinkled; whether he felt tense or charmed she couldn't tell. A burning sensation engulfed Mikasa's ears as she lowered her head and pulled back her hand. "That sounded less creepy in my head. Sorry. It's way too soon to say stuff like that."

Fondness blossomed in Levi's eyes, making his face easier to read now. "I'd rather you be honest than keep your feelings hidden while waiting for the perfect moment. That time will never come, so express yourself while it feels genuine."

She gave him a restrained smile and they stared at each other in silence for a while, not weirded-out by the touch of one anothers eyes grazing each other at all. Looking at him now, Mikasa couldn't believe she used to hate him. Well, he'll always be a detested manlet...but now he's _her_ manlet.

The sudden presence of the server finally caused their eyes to pry apart. Once their orders were logged, Mikasa hooked her attention back to Levi. "The next time this happens, call me, okay?"

"I…" he started, and Mikasa could see the lie forming on his lips. Levi locked his jaw tight, hesitant to speak more, but when he finally did a heavy weight sat on Mikasa's chest.

"I wish I could make that promise, Mikasa, but the truth is my insomnia is unpredictable and I have a horrible handle on it. For as long as I could remember I had a awful sleeping schedule, and it worsened after I served in the military. Dreams weren't pleasant back then, to put it lightly, and I avoided those nightmares by staying awake. The trauma is more or less gone now, but the habits remain. I fall into sleepless patterns without realizing; it goes from staying up a few extra hours to realizing days have passed and all coffee accessible to me is gone. I know how I get when I'm in those states. That's why I can't make a promise I might break. I don't want to cause you worry, though so I will promise that I'll _try_ _my best_ to keep you updated."

And yet, worry leaked from Mikasa's pores unbidden, masking her face in an expression that made Levi say, "I said _don't_ worry. It's not as bad as it seems."

"Seems bad to me..."

"Just like your taste in men," he said dryly, looking tired of the discussion, then again he just looked tired overall. "I have many flaws, some you are well aware of by now, some you will discover along the way. That's what you signed up for when you agreed to date me, but I don't want you to feel obligated to get mixed up in my problems. The last thing I want to become is a burden."

Leaning forward, Mikasa's brows drew down in the center. "We might not know each other long, but I do care about your well-being. You'd never become a burden. I want to help you."

"And you did already. You're a total natural, believe it or not. You snapped me out of my trance without even trying. You see, when I get like that I lose touch with the world, but you managed to bring me back down to Earth. With skills like that you have little to worry about, so quit making constipated expressions like that."

She couldn't tame the smirk on her lips, but an uneasiness remained with her, deep in the pit of her stomach. To add to that, a pang of embarrassment muddled in with her discomfort when she realized how much this former foe affected her, both physically and mentally. At the rate they're going, they'll graduate from kindred spirits to soul mates before they know it. The thought of it packed on another layer of emotions. After so many years of being callous, Mikasa didn't know what the hell to do with all these feelings.

A while later they found themselves back on the foggy strip of road. In the passengers seat Levi sat silent; his head bobbing as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Don't fight it," Mikasa's sharp scathing made him jolt with alert. "Shut your eyes until we get to my place."

Settling down again, a teary-eyed yawn escaped Levi as he nestled into the seat like a cat after it kneaded its favorite spot. "Fine, but keep your eyes off me and on the road. I know you're worried and all, but I'd like to wake up alive if you don't mind."

And Mikasa kept her promise... _sort of._ They made it to their destination safely, but on the way she couldn't help but up gander upon Levi's sleeping face every now and then. She found it amusing how he still furrowed his brows in his sleep, and they drew together even deeper when she slammed on her breaks at a stop sign she nearly flew passed. _Eyes on the road,_ she told herself firmly. The next time she looked at him, she had pulled her car into the alley adjacent to her apartment. There she watched him a bit longer, the drone of the engine sending Levi into a deeper sleep. Content as he looked, she didn't want to disturb him, but she knew she couldn't let him sleep in the car all night. After turning off the ignition she poked him awake with her key.

Stirring in his seat, Levi blinked the blur from his eyes. "I actually fell asleep."

"You're surprised? You've been awake since Saturday."

Groggy mewls freed from his lips as he stretched out. "The longer I stay awake the harder it is to crash—but I think your driving rocked me to sleep."

"Believe it or not, driving could be a soothing experience if you don't mow down everything in your path."

Eyeing her with a twitching scowl, he unbuckled himself and departed from the car with a sway; his body faltering as he tried to keep his footing on the icy pavement. As light flurries sprinkled down, Mikasa towed their belongings from the car and hastened her way to his side, keeping a free arm loosely caged around him to stabilize his wonky gait.

By the time they made it up the stairwell and down the corridor he swayed like a leaning tower of Levi, ready to crumble down any moment. Quickly, Mikasa jammed her key in the lock and thrust opened the door. "Go to bed," she ordered, urging him inside.

"Huh?" A slight fumble later, he whirled around to face her. "Not right now. Let me settle in first."

"Fine," she allowed, "but when you're done sniffing your surroundings like a new puppy you're going straight to bed."

"Yes, master."

A pair of voices talking over the TV attracted Mikasa's attention. At the end of the foyer, she spotted Eren and Jean seated together in their natural habitat: the couch. Their eyes were already planted on the them. One wore a smile, the other a bitter grimace.

"Hey, Levi!" Eren greeted, springing up to his knees as he waved eagerly for his attention, like Levi was a star that just walked on stage.

"Levi is spending the night," Mikasa quickly announced as she locked up the door. Jean had something to say about that, but she couldn't make out his mutters. Whether Jean was still bitter about Mikasa's new relationship with Levi, or if he was annoyed by his fanboy friend and his inability to hop off Levi's dick was hard to tell. Would't be the first time Jean got jealous over something petty like that.

Eren, on the other hand, had no objections. "Cool. Where have you been, man? Mikasa and I were worried about you."

At Eren's words, Levi hung his head apologetically. "I was working."

"Oh," he shrugged it off. "Wanna play a game?"

But Levi, looking dizzy and in need of a seat, quickly declined Eren's offer. Mikasa directed him to a stool at the counter, where hr promptly hung over and nursed his head. In an effort to be hostly, Mikasa transported his belongings into her room, and when she returned to the kitchen she found Jean with his back against the counter in the kitchen, arms folded and eyes narrowed in suspicion. Passing him right up, Mikasa rummaged through the cabinet, asking, "Levi, would you like some tea?"

"Desperately."

As she filled the kettle at the sink, Jean slid to her side, flitting his questioning gaze between her and Levi. "Is he drunk?"

"No," she whispered back, glancing back at Levi curled over the counter. He made her look like a downright liar. "He just hasn't slept in a few days."

"Crack, then."

Before Mikasa could refute Jean's assumption, Levi's head abruptly swung up. "I just want to inform you both that I can hear you talking about me. I have super sonic hearing right now; perks of an insomniac."

"Sonic?" Eren crashed himself into the counter and gasped inches away from Levi's face. "You wanna play Sonic? I have Sonic. I have loads of classics we could play."

Seeing Eren and Levi side-by-side looked like a bad metaphor for life and death, Mikasa thought. "He doesn't want to play a game," she curtly answered for Levi, then delivered a pair of pleading eyes to Jean. "Do me a favor and keep him busy, please."

With a brave salute, Jean went off to attempt the harrowing mission of keeping Eren subdued. His mission ended in partial failure since Jean's idea of entertainment involved video games and that always brought out the worst in Eren. The new couple had a moment to themselves, at least, albeit not a quiet one with the bickering ambiance, but Mikasa hoped the tea she was about to brew would eliminate any headache caused by them.

As she waited for the water to boil, Mikasa hung her weight over the counter in front of Levi. "Eren _really_ likes you. I think you're his new hero," she said, elated that Eren found someone new to look up to. She couldn't remember the last time he showed interest in anyone outside their close niche of friends.

"Does he? I hadn't noticed," his tone was so dry she couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Levi flicked his eyes to the side, subtly signalling to the boys behind him with a nudge of his chin. "I get the impression the other one doesn't like me."

"Don't let his looks deceive you. Jean might resemble a horse but he has the personality of a stubborn mule sometimes. He'll warm up to you."

The blasting TV and Eren's loud mouth wasn't enough to conceal their conversation, it seemed, because Jean threw them an angered protest. "Quit it with those stale jokes already."

"Yeah Mikasa," Eren agreed, trying to repress a giggle, "quit beating a dead horse. It triggers him."

As Jean began his long-winded rant, everyone blatantly ignored him, other than Eren who interrupted his speech with a boisterous belch.

Mikasa leered at the two misbehaving boys with contempt. After catching a glimpse of her, Eren's mischievous expression popped to a serious one and he nudged Jean beside him. "Knock it off, you're embarrassing Mikasa."

Pointing that out only embarrassed her more.

" _I am_? You're a walking embarrassment, Yeager," Jean retorted, and Eren yelled. Jean yelled back. Eren kicked, and Jean shoved, and then they were grunting as they tried to wrestle the other into submission.

"You're so fucking pathetic. This is why Mikasa broke up with your sorry ass!" Eren spat, slapping aimlessly as Jean shoved his chin up and away from him. Drowning in embarrassment, Mikasa slammed her head down on the counter, trying her best not to sink into her puddle of shame.

"You dated _him_?" Levi lurched back, surprised.

Mikasa mumbled, "Back when we were in high school..."

"How am I pathetic? At least I had a love life, you virgin," Jean argued, struggling still. Eren had nothing to say to Jean's claim, because it was true. Instead of coming up with a clever comeback, Eren resorted to screaming insults again, which sounded like an incoherent string of curses and horse slurs.

Levi, on the other hand, was wise enough not persist in the topic of Mikasa's previous love life and carefully hopped down from the tall stool, saying, "I'll back, I need to change into something more comfortable."

By the time he returned, the war between Eren and Jean ended and Mikasa had the tea poured and waiting on the counter. Not knowing how he liked it, she had set up a sugar and creamer, but he use neither to flavor his tea.

"Your room is tidy, thank god," he praised, taking a seat beside her.

Mikasa took a thoughtful sip. Most boys, especially boyfriends, wouldn't pay much mind to the _state_ of their girlfriend's bedroom. Or perhaps they did, and she spent too much time in the company slobs. Either way, she was glad he happened to catch her room in a tidy state. She wouldn't break his heart by telling him about all the times she neglected housework for the sake of assignments and studying. Or Tumblr and Vine marathons.

"I guess that means I passed your inspection?"

He nodded, and Mikasa decided to do a quick inspection of her own. Levi had changed into a white long sleeve shirt and black sweatpants, and he did indeed look more comfortable, but Mikasa was beginning to suspect he didn't own a single piece of clothing with color. Not that she cared—it made the blue in this eyes more vibrant.

"Well, good, because you'll be sleeping in there tonight," she told him.

"And where will you sleep?"

"The couch."

He made a face. "I don't feel right about kicking you out of your own room."

"It's not a big deal. The couch is more comfortable than it looks." It actually wasn't, at all. The cushions were flat and infested with crumbs and it aged twenty years in only a few months from all the time Eren and Jean spent on it, but Mikasa could bear one uncomfortable night for Levi's sake.

Lifting the steaming mug to his lips, Levi washed down any further scruples he might've had about that with a mouthful of tea. He let it seep in his taste buds before swallowing with a face lifted with satisfaction. Mikasa was pleased to see he liked it. Personally, she became all too familiar with the flavor, and consequently the tea tasted vapid to her. One sip was enough to transport her back to her childhood home, though, which was why it remained her favorite.

"I don't think I ever told anyone this before—excluding myself—but you brew a perfect cup of tea."

The praise made her tense up a little, but she tried to play it cool. "I'll add that to my list of accomplishments. You did list 'tea' as one of your hobbies on your dating profile, as I recall. I take it you know your stuff."

"I like to call myself an active herb enthusiast," he claimed confidently, like that was some genuine title an expert earned. "Traveling the world to taste wine is a waste of time and money, tea-tasting is where the fun is at."

Mikasa cared little for the topic of tea, but she wanted to keep the discussion going given that she found Levi's sleepy excitement unbearably cute. "In that case, if you were given a voucher for unlimited tea, but you could only use it in one country, which would you visit?"

"Hm," he hunched over and propped his hand under his chin like The Thinker statue, obviously taking the question way too seriously. "England seems like the obvious choice, but my time in Japan convinced me otherwise. They know their tea over there and I can respect that. I also like the pan-fired method popular in China—I'd have to split my voucher somehow to visit both." A mournful sigh freed from him. "If only America had a penchant for tea, but alas we live in a nation of soda pop and watered-down beer."

She concurred with a sullen nod. "High quality tea is hard to come by in the west, that's why I have my mom smuggle me tea from Japan."

Captivated by her words, he twisted to face her. "Consider yourself lucky and envied by me. Could I get in on that tea smuggling?"

She hid a smile behind her mug. "I'll tell you what, the next time my mom sends in a new shipment I'll invite you over for a tea party."

"Mikasa," he voiced her name lovingly, his fond gaze swimming through the wisps of steam rising from his cup, "I do believe you have just won my heart."

The rest of the early evening consisted of more subtle flirting, tea talk, and Levi's ramblings, which were likely fueled by the pinch of caffeine in the tea. Once he landed on the topic of work, he went on and on, complaining about writing and Erwin like a cassette tape on fast forward.

"You see, I write the best when I'm sleep deprived," he explained and quickly drained the last of his tea. "My internal editor and that perfectionist side of me shuts off, leaving me free to write without censoring myself with my own criticism. That self-aware wall that normally blocks my creativity crumbles. The results are far from publishable, of course, but it's my job to give Erwin something to clean up. A blank page does none of us any good. I've sought alternatives, trust me. Many of the greats offhandedly suggest intoxication, but if I drank as much as I wrote I'd have permanent alcohol poison. Not to mention brain damage."

"What you need is confidence," Mikasa suggested simply, though she knew it was easier said than done. Work is important, she understood that, but health should always take top priority regardless of the situation. "Depending on bad habits to produce good result might be tempting, and even beneficial in your case, but after prolonged dependency it becomes a crutch and a sure fire way to land yourself in a hospital, or a morgue. I know you have little control over this self-destructive mindset you have, but first things first: stop excusing the habit."

"Okay, life coach," he slammed down his mug, pinning his attentive eyes on her. "Offer me your wisdom. Where can I acquire confidence, and where can I dispose of this enabling attitude of mine?"

"Hell if I know," she confessed. "I have bad habits I succumb to during times of stress too. You said so yourself that you had many flaws—I do too. I might have the answers, but I don't have the cure."

"Now's not the time to be vague. Tell be more about these habits of yours," he prodded, eyeing her curiously. "If you share some with me, maybe we can work out a solution together."

Mikasa's mind went to one stress relief method in particular, and a surge of heat rose up her neck. She tried to think of another, but the more she pushed the thought away the more it shoved back. Levi was tapping his fingers on the counter now, waiting for a reply, but she knew if she opened her mouth she'd end up embarrassing herself.

"I knew it, you're perfect," he tossed up his hands. "And to think you tricked me into believing you had a flaw for a moment."

Rubbing at her flaming neck, she tittered uneasily. She had to say something, just to ward off his doubt. "You might find out what my crunch is the next time I'm under heavy stress."

Tilting his head, Levi's face curled with even more curiosity. "I might? That's hardly fair. Shouldn't I get a warning in advance?"

"You gave me no warning," she reminded him, staring at her hands. "Let's just say I get into zombie states too—but unlike you I don't go scampering around hunting caffeine. There's something else that keeps me stimulated during stressful times."

Pensively, Levi rubbed his chin. Mikasa could see the questions pinching at his face, but all he expressed was perplexed hums.

Mikasa hummed back at him, hoping she didn't say too much. It was an embarrassing habit, one she never shared with anyone. But Levi was quickly earning a spot in her private life and she knew they'd one day share private moments together. In time, he'd know her secret, maybe all of them. But presently, privacy wasn't on their side. Jean and Eren were still close by, battling some roaring beast on the TV screen, and later when the sun went down and Levi went down with it, Mikasa joined them to watch the battle. While Levi dozed in her comfortable bed, Mikasa sat upright and stiff on the couch, squeezed between Eren's thrusting elbow and the rock-hard armrest.

For a while she found herself engaged in their coop-fight...but the thrill wore off when the _Game Over_ text splashed across the screen dozens of times. The repetitive grunt track used every time the players were attacked and the synthesized music replaying from the start every time they lost was starting to trigger a pulsing migraine in Mikasa's skull. With her head reclined and eyes closed, she tried to channel out the noise, but it still pierced through. Having enough, she heaved her head up, exclaiming, "Are you two _ever_ going to quit?"

"After this level," mumbled Eren, as his determined fingers assaulted the buttons.

"You said that hours ago," she sighed. They'll never beat the damn thing because Eren's weak ego won't permit him to turn the difficulty setting down. This torturous loop will go on until the indolent hole inside Eren temporary filled with pseudo-accomplishment. Sad as it sounded, that's how his life operated nowadays.

Any other time, Mikasa wouldn't minded; as unhealthy as Eren's video game addiction could be at times she supported this outlet of his; the hobby provided goals and the feeling of earned accomplishment, something he was missing in his real life. As of right now, though, she wished he'd call it a night. It had been a long day for Mikasa and she wanted to lay down and rest, but the unbeatable boss came between that. Jean and Eren would remain stationed on the couch for a while, she knew, and just the thought of waiting it out tired her.

In the meantime, she figured she could at least change into something more comfortable. With that thought, Mikasa sprang up and whorled around the coffee table and made for her bedroom door.

The crack of light streaming in through the door highlighted Levi sprawled out on her bed, tangled in her blanket with a slip of skin revealing some of his midriff. Quickly, she closed the door, shunning that enticing image. Trying to be as stealthy as possible, Mikasa tip-toed toward her dresser to collect her PJ's. After stubbing her toe and banging her knee on the bedpost, something else decided to assault her in the dark—her pupils dilated at a sudden orb of light shining her way.

"What're you creeping around for?" Levi had coiled around to face her, his cellphone's flashlight hitting her like a spotlight on a guilty thief.

Squinting, she rose a hand to block the light. "You're still awake?"

"I drifted off for a while, but my phone felt compelled to loudly notify me that it was charged." He lowered his phone, bringing the room back to its state of darkness. "Now I can't fall back to sleep."

Arms stretched out, Mikasa continued to blindly feel around for the dresser, thankful she wasn't the one who woke him. "Try to go back to bed. I just came in here to fetch a change of clothes, I'll be out in a second."

The murmur of the TV resonating around the room grew louder, and Mikasa clicked her tongue in irritation. Without her there to monitor the volume Eren and Jean had blasted it through the roof. The neighbors will give her an earful for that later. She'll have to tell them to lower that, again.

"Are they still awake?" Levi asked. "It's past midnight."

"It's nothing new. They pull all-nighters all the time," Mikasa said dismissively and took the light bundle of clothes toward the door.

"But if they stay in the living room, where are you supposed to sleep?"

"Eren's room, I guess."

Levi made a revolted sound. "I'd advise against that—you might catch a disease."

"Come on, it's not _that_ filthy in there."

"If you rather sleep in a landfill than with me, go ahead. I'll shovel you out from under the garage in the morning while I'm cleaning."

"Wait," she spun to face the direction of his voice, "what did you say?"

"I'm going to clean Eren's room tomorrow."

"Before that."

A hesitant silence followed. "Your bed is pretty big, is all I'm saying. You could just sleep in your own room. And if you find that suggestion weird, feel free to blame my creepiness on my lack of sleep."

"You can't let your sleep deprivation take the rap for everything," she sighed. Mikasa hadn't shared a bed with a boy since high school, back when Eren would invite Jean over for a sleepover and he'd sneak into her room when Carla and Grisha went to bed. Since they were previously friends who had know each other a long time, she never gave it a second thought. But as comfortable as she felt around Levi, she hadn't actually known him very long at all. This fact compromised things for her. "I don't exactly find it _creepy_ —it's just a little too soon to share a bed, don't you think? We've _just_ started dating."

"And we'll _just_ be sharing a bed, that's it. You have my word."

And Mikasa didn't doubt Levi's word—compared to his satire attitude it was easy to distinguish his genuine sincerity—but she was more concerned about her own impulsive urges because they were so unpredictable around Levi. The self-control she normally retained often crumbled around him, she learned. "I don't know…" Uncertainty found its way into her voice before consideration could. "It's...it's just I don't want us to have another accidental _glitch_ , if you catch my drift." Bearing in mind how she went from hating Levi to making-out with him in a week, she didn't know what a single evening of sharing a bed would bring.

"My, I didn't know I was that irresistible."

"Shut up," she bristled at the cheeky comment, heat rising to her face. "Don't take that as a compliment."

"Oh, I shouldn't? I doubt you'd treat all guests with such hospitality," he chuckled. "I can almost see your red face glowing in the dark."

"Other guests wouldn't make suggestions like that," she argued with the darkness. "And besides, I don't invite any old guests to sleep in my bed."

"But you invited me. Yet you deny that I'm special. Hmph."

First Mikasa lowered her head, and then her voice. "...I never deny that."

More silence. "And Irresistible?"

" _Don't push it_."

"Fine then. I'll settle for special, for now."

Many people were special to Mikasa. but she could already tell that Levi strived to be the pinnacle of her affections. If things kept progressing as they were, in time he might be. She'd make him work hard for it, though, that's for sure. Not because she wanted to play hard to get—she knew he wanted the challenge. As for herself, her biggest challenge would be holding herself back.

At last, Levi ended the conversation with, "If you change your mind, you can slid in here anytime—I don't mind if you don't mind. And if you're worried about me making a move on you, don't be. At this point my sex drive subtracted to rectify basic brain function."

True as that might be, Mikasa still couldn't decide if it was such a good idea due to the unprecedented temptation she fell victim to around him. After all, just hearing him say the word _sex_ was enough to envision herself engaging in the act itself, with him, and that forced her to realize how shamefully fast she fell for Levi, and how fast her restraint dropped around him and how fast their relationship had progressed in a short amount of time. A night alone in bed with him might progress their relationship even further than she'd prefer.

Or maybe she was letting her mind wander off too far again. That often happened around Levi and sometimes the thoughts were hard to tether and yank back into place. Ever since Mikasa and Levi patched things up a surreal feeling consumed her—no, it straight up _possessed_ her and she didn't know what to do about. And what was this feeling, anyway? Too soon to be love, though it must be an incubating stage of it. If she already felt like this, she fretted the day it finally hatched.

Something about Levi brought out a capricious side of her; the things she did and thought lately was so unlike her, so out-of-character, like he was rewriting her traits and freeing her from her stringent role. Part of her liked the alterations to her character. For so long she followed dull routines and had a perfect handle on herself. But Levi had spiced up her bland life and corrupted her calculating mind. In the past, she always knew what she wanted and what she didn't, but with Levi she could never decide. Everything felt right, and everything felt wrong. And sometimes she couldn't even tell the two apart.

Deciding on what to do with his proposition left her puzzled. As Mikasa changed in the bathroom, she sorted out her thoughts but by the time she was dressed she mentally shredded her list. Simply put, she was thinking too deeply about this. _Just go with your gut_ , she chanted internally as her eyes swept over the smelly depths of Eren's bedroom. Mikasa curled her lip at the silhouettes of cluttered furniture and shadowy mountains of dirty laundry. In the background, Eren and Jean were still hacking and slashing at the same monster on the television. And with that, her gut came to a final decision.

"Forget something?" Levi asked as Mikasa slipped back into her bedroom. "Or are you here to take me up on my generous offer?"

"Generous?" she scoffed as she felt around the dark space, patting her hand along the surface of the bed. "I think you're forgetting this is my room. You're lucky I don't make _you_ sleep in Eren's room."

She heard a subtle gasp. "You could be a cruel woman at times, but you're not _that_ cruel."

A beat of silence followed, interrupted only by the soft rustle of Mikasa's hand fumbling over the blanket.

"By the way, Mikasa..." his voice dripped out hesitantly, and Mikasa, leaning over the bed, fell motionless. She heard his tongue click impatiently. "How can I put this?"

"What is it?" she leaned in closer, her hands pressing harder against the mattress.

" _Your hand_ ," he said, in a emphasized way.

Mikasa squinted in the dark. "What about my hand?"

"...It's, well, on my crotch."

It took a moment for the blunt words to register, and took even longer to realize the lump she felt under her palm wasn't a clump of blanket. She retracted her hand and backed up, muttering, "Sorry. I just...I'm used to sleeping on that side, so I..." she trailed off, running out of things to say. Now her gut was telling her to crawl under the bed and hide until morning.

"Here," he said, his voice unaffected by the awkwardness. She heard the mattress creak and a metallic click before the room engulfed in light. Levi pulled his hand back from the drawstring and used it to shield his light-sensitive eyes.

"You didn't need to put the light on," she said.

"I'll turn it off again when you're settled in."

Considering how difficult she found maneuvering around her bedroom in the dark, she was thankful he did, but once she saw Levi vividly sprawled out on her bed, like a model posed to be photographed or painted, she retracted that thought. The waistband of his sweatpants lolled dangerously low, which was about as dangerous as an unlocked prisons cell, and her blanket was tangled between his thighs and his mussed hair dispelled every which way on her pillow.

Once she sunk into the welcoming soft press of her mattress and Levi removed his hand from his adjusted eyes, he shared a similar reaction to seeing her. For someone who proclaimed a lack of sexual drive, he sure showed interest as he ogled the low cut of her crop top before dragging his eyes passed her shorts and down her bare legs. If he reacted this way to her wearing an old PJ set, she imagined he'd completely lose his composure if he ever saw her in that gaudy lingerie set Sasha bought her. _No,_ Mikasa stressed at the unbidden thought, _quit thinking like that. Now is definitely not the time._

In the quiet, Mikasa forfeited the endless body-staring contest by moving her eyes aside first.

Slowly dragging his eyes back to her face, after getting a good look at the rest of her, Levi said, "Your bed is exceptional comfortable," he mentioned this to break up the tension, but it actually added more.

Mikasa ignored her thumping heart and went on causally. "Of course it is—you're sleeping on the _comfortable_ side."

"I always sleep on the left side."

"So do I."

"Well this relationship just isn't going to work, then, is it?" he teased.

"Nope. I'm not giving up my side."

Levi defiantly sprawled out, revealing even more skin as his hands tucked beneath his head. "Neither am I—you can try moving me, but I advice against that. You might hurt yourself."

She shifted up a skeptical brow at him. "I bench press heavier dead weights than you daily."

"I'm heavier than I look."

Mikasa felt tempted to test his claim, just to prove his stubborn ass wrong, but she imagined lifting up her new boyfriend would create even more awkward tension. The challenge would have to wait for another day. "It's fine, you can stay there," she submitted, tugging some of the blanket out from under Levi so she could cover herself. "I want you to be comfortable. You could turn the light off now, if you want."

"Not yet."

Leaning her head on a raised fist, Mikasa narrowed her eyes on him. "You better not be using me as an excuse to stay up past your bedtime."

"The night is still young—I'll sleep in a bit." He rolled to his side to face her, amiable eyes boring into her. "In the meantime, tell me a story."

The unexpected request instantly caused her mind to go blank. "Wha— _Why_?"

"No need to act so _suspicious_. What's the harm in asking for a bedtime story?"

Harmless if it's coming from a ten year old, but a sleep deprived thirty year old? Mikasa shook her head. "Shouldn't it be the other way around? You'd probably tell a much better story than I could, you're the writer."

"A non-fiction writer," he corrected.

"Then tell a _true_ story."

Levi let his eyes settle on hers for a while, then they fell a little below her left eye. "How about this," he said, lurching up a bit. Seeing his hand closing in on her made Mikasa feel frozen until his warm fingers grazed her cheek, melting the stiffness from her. "Tell me how you got this scar," he whispered, his thumb swiping along the imperfection, "and I'll tell you how I got mine."

Mikasa let her eyes traced over the slash across the right side of Levi's face. Time had healed it, but the dark pigment etched a permanent home on his cheekbone. Admittedly, she wondered about the story behind it once or twice before but never brought it up.

Since her own scar had been part of her for so long, she actually forget about it now and then, and so she had to give herself a minute to recall the story behind it. "I got it from Eren," she said, then quickly added, "accidentally."

"Eren?" he roused up with piqued interest, "You call that a story? Go on, tell me what happened."

"Let's see..." Morse drifted in with her whisper. Levi inched in closer, closing the gap between them.

Mikasa looked up in recall, clearly seeing the sunset sky painted over her high school parking lot. In her memory, she saw a group of jersey wearing thugs. She couldn't remember their faces, but the numbers they wore engraved deeper in her mind than the scar on her face. High school was a tough time for Armin, Eren and herself, mostly Armin, who was picked-on relentlessly. The drama always started with him and ended with Eren and Mikasa swooping in to protect him like his own personal body guards. Given Mikasa's reputation at the time, most bullies turned tail when they caught sight of her. But on this day, intimating glares weren't enough.

"Back when Eren and I were in high school, we used to hitch a ride home with Armin after school. I think he was off at the library or something, but we planned to met up at the car, like we always did. A group of Redbull-simulated jocks were loitering the parking lot, most rallied around Armin's car. We rushed over to see what the commotion was all about...and saw that they totally vandalized it. The side windows were shattered, and dents, scratches and crude words covered the paint. It wasn't the prettiest car to begin with, but his grandfather gave it to him; it had a lot of sentimental value. Anyway, I didn't want to get involved but I had little choice. As I'm sure you're aware of by now, Eren's a hot-head and he went charging in like an idiot. In the matter of seconds, the fight grew chaotic and they teamed up on him. Fists and curses were flying everywhere. I tried to pull Eren out of the fray...but in doing so, one of the assholes punched me in the face..."

Mikasa mashed her lips together and swiftly peeked over to see Levi's reaction. Like always, his face was a blank template, but she could see a spec of anger in his eyes, like he wanted to go back in time and join the brawl. "After seeing that, Eren's rage got the best of him. After being tossed around like a rag doll, he probably wasn't seeing straight and he ended up tackling _me_ instead of the jerk that assaulted me," she couldn't help but to express an amused sigh. Now that the event had become a thing of the past she could laugh about it now, but at the time the two of them were terrified and fueled with hate. "My face went sliding into the pavement and caught on something sharp, probably a shard of glass from the car window. Everything was blur after that. Teachers came to break up the fight, I vaguely remember, and everyone involved received a week-long suspension."

"Are you kidding me?" Levi fussed. "The ones who started it should've got expelled. Or arrested."

Mikasa silently agreed with a nod. "So, that's my story. What's yours?"

Levi rolled onto his back, his chest rising steeply. "A bullet grazed me during an ambush when I was in the army. It would've been my head if I hadn't turn to the sound of Erwin's shout. Much like your tale, everything was chaotic, but instead of fists, bullets flew everywhere and there wasn't a slab of cover in sight. The odds of surviving were not in our favor, not in the slightest. We were outnumbered, famished and low on supplies. The few remaining soldiers we had were dying by the dozen. I was supposed to lose my life that day, but all I lost was blood and consciousness." It looked like he wanted to laugh, but he uttered a rueful groan instead as he tapped his scar. "And for that, I consider this scar a good luck charm."

Creases formed on Mikasa's forehead as she stared reverently. They always say scars tell stories, and now she felt that her scar-story was anticlimax in comparison. She supposed that's one of the cons of dating a writer: they'll always tell better stories than you.

"I...I know it's a sensitive topic but I find that amazing, Levi—not the unfortunate you've endured, of course, but the way you persevered through it." A few follow up questions floated in her mind, but she pushed them aside, marking them as insensitive. From the looks of it, it drained a lot of emotional energy from Levi to dig up his unpleasant history and share it with her. Mikasa didn't want to pressure him to say anymore, in spite of her curiosity.

Levi shrugged his shoulders into the pillow, like offering his life for the betterment of the country was as simple deed as taking out the trash. "It would've been amazing if I meant to survive and did. The truth is I got lucky."

"Luck can't take all the credit. You should be proud of yourself." And when he gave her another half-hearted shrug, she discovered the root of his problem. "This is why you have no confidence, Levi. Admit it, you're a badass."

His nose wrinkled derisively. "If you keep feeding me praise like that you won't be boosting my confidence, only my ego. And that's already quite bloated."

"And if that isn't a contradiction I don't know what is. One things for certain, you're a peculiar man."

"That I can agree with. But I still stand by what I said: I'm lucky. A peculiar man such as myself wouldn't ever have the pleasure to date a girl like you, not without a generous dose of luck."

She swallowed thickly as her eyes fell down to her fumbling fingers. "I'm nothing special."

"Now who has no confidence?" he threw her a playful look. "Not only are you a hypocrite, you're incredibly wrong."

"Quiet," she muttered dismissively and furled herself up into the blanket. "I gave you your bedtime story, now go back to sleep."

"Not until I convince you that you are in fact special," he said, tugging the blanket from her face. "Where do I begin?"

"Don't bother."

"You're right. Prologues are overrated. I'll cut right to chase. You make me smile and you inspire me. Those two things were foreign to me up until recently, but it comes so naturally when I'm with you. You make me feel emotions I haven't felt in _years_. Before I met you, I was a miserable man drifting through life indifferently, hardly reacting to anything. In the little time I've known you, I've felt my blood boil in rage, I've felt my chest flutter in embarrassment, pangs of excitement, the burn of passion, warmth from affection, and overwhelming throbs of happiness...For fucks sake, listen to me. I sound like a shitty poet. See what I mean now?"

With a light dusting of blush on his cheeks, Levi peeked back at her and his lips gaped slightly, striken briefly by whatever flustered expression Mikasa wore. Timidly, Levi curled into a little ball, burying his face in the pillow, clearly experiencing a cramp of shyness. Now he can add that to his emotional list. It would've been amusing to witness if Mikasa wasn't a victim herself. She could relate to everything Levi said—she had been assaulted by those same emotions. Thrilling as they were, they were also overwhelming; she had jumped to one extreme to the other, from barely feeling anything to having strange feelings cram inside her, leaving her little room to breath. Apparently, when two impervious people came together, they inadvertently lured hidden emotions out from each other. At least Mikasa wasn't going through these changes alone; that was reassuring to learn.

"This is why you're special, Mikasa," he continued meekly. "I might sound mad for saying all that, and maybe I am after missing so many days of sleep. I hardly know you, I know, but what I do know about you I adore, and all the things I strive to learn about you keeps me guessing and fascinated, like a page turner I can't set down. I want to learn all your stories someday, and I want to make new ones with you."

What he said went way beyond simply flattery (something Mikasa expected to hear when he first began his descant). All the genuine adoration Levi served made some of her organs shut down, or at least it felt like they did. Speechless, Mikasa's lips flapped a few times, but no words would come. There was nothing she could say to that. All she could do was soak in his words and pray she wouldn't drown in them. In her chest, her heart raged at top speed and she wondered if it would conk out and cause a premature end to their new story together.

Not only was Mikasa special to him, but he made her _feel_ special, too. That almost intimidated Mikasa—if Levi could make her feel this way so early on in the relationship, how would she feel in months, or even years from now? Normally she wouldn't even waste her time imagining the distant future, because it was constantly changing and impossible to predict. Yet, she could clearly picture Levi there with her, with the world around them indistinguishable and out of focus. That glimpse into the future comforted Mikasa—something about Levi in general, even in this present moment, comforted her so much.

For a time, in the dimly lit silence, she eyed those lips that said so many words she loved and hated hearing until she couldn't bear to be away from them. Shifting up, Mikasa cupped his cheek, her thumb grazing over that lucky scar of his as she brought her face close to his. Levi jerked a little, startled by the unexpected pressure on his lips, but he soon relaxed and welcomed her kiss warmly.

Letting his hand wander up her neck, he grasped a hold of her hair and gently broke their lips apart. "I knew I was—" he started, but Mikasa slapped a hand over his mouth before he could finish.

"Don't even say it."

She could feel his smile stretching beneath her hand. "Admit it," he muffled.

There's no in-between with Levi. Either he gives her a compassionate speech that leaves her breathless or he ruins the mood with a few words. "No," she stressed, taming down her smile. "You're _not_ irresistible." Maybe his lips were, she'll admit that much, but not out loud. She quickly replaced her hand with her lips, adding a little tongue this time. Kissing him now felt different than before; not as tense and hasty as their first. More gentle and dreamy, and the short hairs sprouting from his upper lip and chin tickled her every time one of them altered the angle of their jaw. Their kiss slowed down to a few pecks, and then came to a sudden stop when Levi's lips had stopped responding to hers all together. Puzzled, Mikasa pulled away, opened her eyes, and immediately snorted.

In the fairy tales, kisses were suppose to wake people up, not put them to into a deep slumber. Shaking her head, Mikasa pulled the covers up to his chest and stretched over him to turn off the light. The room drenched in darkness once again, and Mikasa rolled off to her unfavorable side of the bed.

**~x~**

Even with the central heating cranked up as high as a tropical forecast there was no way to eliminate the chill in this old apartment. Afternoons were often spent out of the house, usually in warm establishments such as class or work, and evenings were spent under the covers, but the drafty mornings were nearly unbearable. Mikasa turned away from the thermostat, tired of fiddling with the dial. No matter what she set it to the heat never kicked on as often as she wanted.

A bundle of spare blankets and pillows were sprawled about the couch and floor, evincing that Eren and Jean crashed out in the living room last night. Bunking with Levi last night wasn't such a bad idea after all, or else she'd be cold _and_ exhausted right now, or waking up cold in Eren's bedroom, exhausted just from looking at the mess around her.

Mikasa swooped up a knitted blanket from the floor and wrapped herself up with it. The tassels glided over the cold floor and chased after her ankles as she walked toward a set of nearby voices.

"Alright, I'm out. I'll catch up with you guys later," was what she heard when she wove around the counter. As Mikasa leaned against the arch that connected the foyer and the kitchen, Jean's eyes passed over her briefly, then dove down to the zipper on his jacket.

Ready to leave, Jean mussed up Armin's hair and turned to Eren with his hand still raised, like he considered giving Eren's head a ruffle too. That would break their strict bro-code, Mikasa figured, and Jean must've thought the same. His finger curled closed and Eren bumped his hand with a fist.

As Jean twirled out the door, Mikasa caught a glimpse of an odd expression on his face; a rare one she swore she saw before, but she didn't have much time to mull about it, not with Eren's obnoxious yawning sucking all air from the room. She could tell he and Jean in fact had an all nighter, that much was clear by Eren's hooded eyes and his bedtime garments worn under his jacket.

"I hate these early classes," he yawned again.

"'My classes work around my work schedule," Mikasa mentioned. "Get a job and you'll have afternoon classes too."

With his bottom lip drooping, he squinted. "But then I'd have to get up early for work. I'm not falling for your tricks."

Armin fussed at his hair, patting down the mess Jean made. "But then you'd be a functioning member of society, much more rewarding than sleeping your day away without a care in the world," this was said with forced enthusiasm, like he was trying to make his pitch sound more exciting than it actually was. Like all other attempts to wean Eren into the work force, he shrugged it off and yawned some more.

Eren flicked his attention to Mikasa suddenly, stretching his arms above his head causally as he said, "You got laid last night, right?"

Mikasa's head jarred back like the words tried to bite her. "Excuse me?"

"You spent the whole night in your room with Levi."

At Eren's words, Armin's spine erected with alert and he stepped back a few paces, slowly removing himself from this scene. When it came to these topics, like discussing a close friend's intimate moments, Armin sometimes slipped into habits to cover up his discomfort, which seemed a natural thing to do. Not everyone was as bold and insensitively curious as Eren. And so, Armin mingled with the coat rack and stayed out of the discussion.

"We didn't sleep together, we just... slept together."

And somehow Eren took that as a confirmation. He clapped his hands together and gave a triumph, "A-ha! I knew it!"

Miffed, Mikasa cut off his victory with, "No, dummy. We didn't." Honestly, as much as she considered sex last night, Mikasa would've been more impressed than aroused if Levi were able to get it up in that powered-down state. But judging by the goofy look Eren gave, he wasn't convinced at all. And just to add to her irritation, he kept waggling his bushy eyebrows flirtatiously at her.

"Nothing happened," she insisted with a shove, and Eren gave a long _'suuuure'_ and winked at her. Sighing, Mikasa elongated her arm and pointed in the direction of the living room. "We slept together in the same way you and Jean slept together."

"Gross, don't word it like that," he snapped out of his teasing trance, tugging at his jacket before zipping it up "Okay, I get it. You didn't fuck. But can you tell Jean you did so I don't lose my bet?"

Instead of getting offended, Mikasa stared with dead-set eyes, wondering what Eren could've possibly offered up as a bid—dirty laundry and links to free porn sites? "No, I'm not going to say anything about my sex life, non-existent or not."

"Would you ever tell _me_ if you got laid?"

"No."

"See," he threw one of his hands around Armin and pulled him away from picking lint off a jacket. "That's why Armin's my best friend and you're the disliked sidekick."

She scoffed, her eyes skeptical. "Oh, because Armin tells you about his sex life?"

"That's not the point," he jabbed a finger at her. "He would if he had one. It's the thought that counts."

Armin gawked up at Eren from under his arm. "Eren. Even _if_ I had a sex life, I would not, under any circumstances, tell you about it. I don't know where you're getting that impression from. You know I'm the private type."

Gasping, Eren took an offended stance, as if the love of his life just confessed infidelity. "Why not? Jean _always_ tells me all the lewd details. You're supposed to be my _friend_ , Armin _._ "

"I didn't know our friendship relied on such a thing," he said cluelessly.

"It doesn't," Mikasa spoke up, freshly reminded why Jean and her didn't work out as a couple. Jean was far from being a fuckboy but he certainly had the mouth of one sometimes. "But his friendship with Jean certainly does."

Eren crushed his wide eyes into thin slits. "Don't be cute. You know we're not friends."

"Of course, silly me," she sighed, letting him live with his denial. She waved them off as they departed out the door, but an abrupt stomp later Eren poked his head back in.

"Oh, right. Don't forget to invite Levi to the party."

"What party?" Mikasa was about to say just that, given that it slipped her mind, but Levi beat her to the punch. As he yawned his way into the kitchen, Levi received two banal morning greetings and one enthusiastic one from Eren.

"I'll let Mikasa explain the details," said Eren, knowing he'd be late for class if he stayed any longer. "But Levi, if you see Jean, be sure to tell him that you and Mikasa—" but the rest of his request was muffled out by Armin's palm as he was dragged out into the hallway, kicking and cursing.

"Have a nice day, guys," Mikasa swiftly swung the door closed with her foot, but Eren's complaints still pierced through the door.

"Your neighbors must love you," Levi said as he pattered deeper into the kitchen.

"Oh yes, they gift us with personal handwritten letters all the time," she pointed her hand to the ceiling. "And Mr. Woerman even visits us in person sometimes. He must be concerned for our speakers because he's always telling us to turn down the TV and stereo."

"How nice of him. I wish I had such considerate neighbors."

Mikasa drew the drooping blanket over her shivering shoulders. "Yup, I'm a lucky girl. Want some waffles?"

"Sure, but first I want a shower."

The party Eren mentioned seemed to have slipped from Levi's mind, apparently, because his question was never answered and he left the kitchen without asking again. She'll tell him about it later, once they were both more awake with some coffee in their system. Given Levi's contemptuous stance on holiday's, Mikasa thought a brew of ale might be better at convincing him to attend.

Between the batter sizzling and the coffee machine gurgling, she heard Levi's voice echoing off the tile from the bathroom. "...Do you own a dog?"

"No? This complex is pet-restricted." A silence followed, giving Mikasa time to think of why Levi would ask such a thing, and then it hit her. "...Eren is an exception to the no-pet's rule. I know, the bathroom is a mess."

Without saying anything, Levi whipped out of the bathroom and passed by, heading for her room. A moment later he passed again, but instead of shower supplies like before, he was armed with a toilet scrubber and a spray bottle.

"Don't start _cleaning_ ," she warned, waving a spoon at him, but he was already gone. "Your breakfast will get cold."

"I have time, I take quick showers," he assured, and that turned out to be true. By the time he was finished cleaning her bathroom spotless and showering, Mikasa was finished preparing breakfast and was pouring the coffee. He arrived in the kitchen with clean clothes on, a shaven face, and damp, towel-dried hair. Not only did he appear more like himself now, he looked _healthier_ ; color had returned to his face, and some life shone in his eyes. Of course, Levi was naturally pale and shadow still rimmed around his eyes, but now he looked less like a walking corpse and more like an attractive vampire after feasting; Mikasa considered that a grand improvement.

Breakfast went by in a flash, likely because Mikasa introduced Levi to the addictive substance known as Nutella, and that spread made even the neatest eaters woof down whatever it had infected. "You've probably heard of it," she had said. "It's like heroin, but legal."

Levi first approached the taste-testing with indifferent nose curls, saying he wasn't fond of sugary breakfasts and only liked sweets in moderation, but no one with working taste-buds could resist Nutella, and that much was proven when he finally tried it. Mikasa hadn't had sex with Levi yet, but when he took a bite she already knew what his O-face would look like.

Afterwards, Levi collected the dishes and rolled up his sleeves at the sink. Mikasa tried to remind him he was a guest, not a maid, but all he said was, "I would feel very unwelcome if you denied me of my favorite pass time." And so she let him do his thing.

Once he set the clean dishes on the rack to dry, he rinsed the suds from his hands and dried them off on the dish towel. Then his eyes made a thorough scan around, as if trying to find a new dirty project to conquer.

"Don't overdo it. One night of sleep doesn't replace all the days you missed," Mikasa said. "How did you sleep, anyway?"

He whipped the towel over his shoulder and leaned back against the counter, arms folded. "Better than I have in a while. Your night of hospitality cured me. Thanks for that."

"I didn't really do anything," she mumbled, looking down.

"You put up with me, that's a lot in my book. And since I fulfilled my end of the bargain, it's time to collect my reward."

Levi tossed the rag from his shoulder into her puzzled face, and by the time she caught it he was gone like a magicians final act. He certainly was good at that trick. The next time she saw him he had his chubby dufflebag with him, making his way to Eren's room. Mikasa sighed and chased after him.

Standing in the door frame, Levi's looked taken back, like he was witnessing the birth of his first born or something. Mikasa found it creepy how his eyes shone bright at the cataclysmic mess there to greet him. Nothing about Eren's room was clean. Dirty laundry and garbage cluttered the rug, tasteless posters were taped to every inch of the walls, and his dresser looked like an assembly line at a Pepsi factory.

Completely memorized, Levi gave himself moment to marvel at every stain, rumbled shirt, and spec of trash his eyes could find before he threw his dufflebag onto the floor; it landed with a hard thump and clattered the contents inside. Bending to one knee, he unzipped it to reveal an arsenal of cleaning products.

Standing over him, Mikasa frowned. No wonder why Levi had a few loose screws. Breathing in all those cleaning chemicals day after day can't be healthy.

First, he ripped off the stained linens from the bed and gathering a few stray t-shirts from the carpet and tossed the heap in the already-overflowing hamper. From a cleared corner, Mikasa watched as he worked, impressed with his speed and meticulousness. He sprang to the balls of his feet and swat his feather duster at webs in the corners, heartlessly evicting the spider who lived there.

"How could you tolerate a roommate like this?" he said, already breaking a sweat.

"As I said before, Eren is more like a messy pet than a roommate."

Cursing, he kicked a box filled with old electronic parts and wires after tripping over it. "No, Mikasa. A pet can't accumulate this much crap. But I suppose I shouldn't complain, I do like the challenge."

"Eren wasn't always like this," Mikasa felt compelled to say. "He was never as clean as you are, or even me, but his life's a mess now so everything else is too."

Levi, who was now clearing out junk from under the bed, threw a look over his shoulder. "I know Eren is special to you, so I hope you don't take offense when I ask: What's wrong with that kid?"

"What do you mean?" Mikasa asked, stunned by the unexpected flip in conversation.

Slowly, he sat up, palms on his lap. "Like I said, I'm not trying to be offensive or anything. Eren seems like a good kid—but his behavior just strikes me as odd for someone of his age and I'm wondering if there's a reason why he's...the way he is."

"Like what?" By the strained look on Levi's face, Mikasa's feigned oblivion wasn't making this easy on him.

"Like..." Levi scratched at his head as he scanned his eyes around the room to inspire the appropriate way to phrase what he wanted to say. Unable to come up with gentle wording, he said, "Like he was dropped a few times as a baby, and then proceeded to injure his head even more as an adult."

Haunted by an ambush of memories, Mikasa winced, and almost found herself trapped in the memory until Levi cursed.

"Shit." Guilt shadowed over his face. "Does he actually have a disability or something?"

Hesitantly, she shook her head. "No, nothing like that, but he does have some issues. Like I said, he wasn't always like this—he just slowly changed and this is how he is now." His transition was gradual, something most people accept naturally like aging. People who didn't know the old Eren might have a hard time understanding him, and that's why she didn't blame Levi for speaking up about this. Any version of Eren was familiar to her, but it would take newcomers time to adjust.

The defense left Levi skeptical, though, which made him say something regrettable again. "If there's nothing mentally wrong with him, then all that kid needs it a good beating. And a bath," he tried to say humorously, but his audience wasn't pleased.

" _Levi_ ," her voice cracked in anger, shocked he would even say that. "Eren has been beat enough in his life, that's probably why he is the way he is."

Levi seemed afraid to say anything after saying the wrong thing so many times. Mikasa knew Levi was rough around the edges himself and had his own issues, which excused his harsh attitude to an extent.

"I should have known after you told me that story last night...Sorry, I just wasn't putting two-and-two together." Apologetically, he pressed his hand against his chest. "You need to understand that I grew up in a strict environment, and being in the military only solidified those molds. Seeing adults still act like bratty teenagers gets under my skin—but I didn't know he had underlining issues that caused that behavior. Like I said, he's a good kid, but I thought he was just a lazy spoiled brat. You can't blame me for assuming that, you know how kids are these days." Levi flinched at his own words, then moved his eyes astray. "Actually, I take that last bit back. My assumptions aren't helping here and I just sound like a stubborn old man who needs to unlearn a few things."

"It's okay," she said calmly, noting his stress. The grudge she generated fell apart; she could understand where Levi was coming from. Not that she would classify people her and Eren's age as 'kids', but Mikasa knew there were people who were disrespectful brats their whole life, for no logical reason. But that's not the case with Eren. "Try to go easy on him. Eren is very important to me. That means you'll have to accept him too since he kind of comes with the package."

Swallowing thickly, Levi gave a sullen nod, visible regretting the topic he brought up, but at the same time he was curious enough to continue the conversation. "So I don't end up saying something offensive again, would you mind telling me a bit more about him? I just wanna know where he's coming from so I don't end up upsetting you or him in the future."

"His stories a long and unhappy one," she warned.

"I'll be in here for a while—if you feel comfortable sharing, I'll listen."

Mikasa let in a rattled breath, her mind dealing her memories like an unfavorable hand at an unlucky blackjack table. Just like a gamble gone wrong, she couldn't take back these bad memories. "I know he doesn't seem like much now, but years back he was very ambitious and had all this energy. Now I can't even peel him off the couch most days. He's lost his spark. You'd have to know the old Eren to know how tragic that really is."

Thoughtfully, Levi moved his lips to the side. "Ever think he might be clinically depressed from all those years of abuse?"

"It crossed my mind, yes. I think Eren was kicked down one too many times and he just doesn't want to get up anymore. He still seems upbeat when he's not raging about random things, but that could be a cover up, or a way of coping. "

"His spark isn't completely lost, you know," Levi said, sliding the line of cans into a bin to create a tinny clamor. "I sensed it when I first met him. He reminded me of a wild and untamed wolf that would either nuzzle me or bite me, depending on his unpredictable mood. Luckily he took a liking to me. Any animal, even humans, will eventually lose their temper and fall into unhealthy patterns if they're not treated right."

Giving a rueful nod, Mikasa's eyes flickered with nostalgia as she went on to say, "Eren has always been a lot like a wolf: loyal and protective. He always tried to be Armin's gallant knight and shied him from abuse, but his armor wasn't as resilient as he thought. After a while the kids at school would teasingly say he was protecting his _boyfriend._ Since Eren was starting to question his sexuality at the time, it imprinted a lasting negative effected on him—it made him see his orientation as a negative trait, like he had to hide that secret for dear life to dodge further ridicule."

Levi shook his head, biting his inner cheek as he bent to pick up some papers. He shuffled through them, noticing some markings on them. It looked like trash to her, but he ironed out the wrinkles with his hands and gingerly set them to the side. "No one should have to feel like that. It's an unnecessary burden to hold."

"Yeah..." she sighed sullenly in agreement, picking at her chipped nail polish. "As a teenager, he thought all his problems would vanish once he got out of high school."

Levi's mouth outlined with a frown lines, pitying and envying Eren's optimism at the same time. "Life outside the cage they call the educational system always seems brighter—but it hardly ever is."

"Too bad Eren learned that lesson too late. When he was young, he'd look at the world around him and see endless opportunities. He'd think the impossible was possible, and he planned on traveling the world and following a myriad of dreams. I admired him so much back then. He always used to tell me he could handle the torment at school because he had big plans and that kept him going."

Mikasa's smile died, just as fast as Erens dreams. "But all good things come to an end. The reality of being an adult crashed down on him hard, completely stifling his spark that so many others admired. I think Eren's just internally panicking because the fantasy world he created to cope with his stress disappeared when he graduated high school. Now he's forced to become an adult and study some subject he hates for a future job he'll hate even more. It sucks because—believe it or not—Eren has _amazing_ potential and skills, but all of it will go to waste. He used to be very passionate about animation and programming; he even made a few indie games on his own back in the day. I was so proud of him—but when I picture him sitting in a cubical, shuffling paperwork for the rest of his life..." she freed a mournful sigh. "Eren's going to be miserable. I guess he's trying to be irresponsible and immature for as long as he can before he's totally swallowed up by a dull and unfulfilled life."

"I know this might seem like the obvious solution," Levi started as he organized clutter on the nightstand, "but why doesn't he study something he actually enjoys?"

"Let's just say he didn't have much of a choice; Eren's father also plays a big role in many of his issues," Mikasa summed up, lacking the strength to deeply discuss Grisha Yeager.

"Let me guess, he's one of those controlling fathers that puts way too much pressure on their kid?"

"You got it." Mikasa tightly wove her arms and paced along a cleared trail on the floor. It felt great to vent like this. No one else in her friend group took Eren's change seriously and always dismissed her as being too worried when she'd try to discuss her concerns. "Now that Eren knows he can't even have his own dreams, I don't think he sees the point in having any goals at all. He seems like the type who doesn't take shit from anyone, but he can't stand up to the people actually holding him down. The old Eren wouldn't let _anyone_ stop him from accomplishing his goals, but the new Eren rolls over and submits and takes out his frustration elsewhere. Because of this, it's not just his dad or trauma keeping him down, it's himself, too."

"I can't stand parents that put unnecessary pressure on their kids," sincerely rang through Levi voice, and Mikasa could tell he was getting just as rared up as her. "If anyone told me I couldn't write, and that I had to be staple puncher for the rest of my life, I would shove my foot up their ass and published the graphic tale of their encounter with my wingtip boots." Levi spat out a sigh and inhaled a slow breath to calm his irritation. "I realize that's impossible for Eren to do, however. He can't rebel against his own father given the circumstances."

Mikasa sat on the bare bed, knees drawn up to her chest. "That's why Eren's trapped. Most of his life, he tried so hard to impress his father but the man never paid much attention to him. I think Eren finally... _gave up_ , to a very alarming degree. I don't think he cares about impressing anyone anymore because he's sick of being let down. Eren would attempt so many things, but never got the recognition he deserved from the only people he wanted approval from."

Levi joined her on the bed, his eyes sealed shut for a brief moment. "Sometimes having a parent who doesn't see you could be just as devastating as an abusive one."

Sensing that Levi accidentally stepped on an emotional landmine, Mikasa looked away, assuming he wanted to keep his expression private. "It's hard for me to understand things like that," she spoke up gently, "which is why I don't think Eren will ever open up to me. I don't understand pressure from parents. My parents told me I could study anything I wanted and they even let me study _where_ I wanted. I have the freedom Eren desires—he'll never confide with someone like me. I could sympathize with him, but it's difficult to _relate_ to him. For instance, I always chased away bullies from my friends, but I never even encountered a bully of my own before—at least until I meet _you_."

A flimsy smirk spread across his lips. "Can't say I'm proud to give you that experience. You certainly weren't my first bully, though. I could definitely relate to Eren in that respect. Kids are assholes."

"I have trouble imagining such an intimidating man being picked on."

"It took me years to perfect the art of intimidation. Before that I was a tiny, weird and poor kid. Of course I was picked on."

Mikasa hunched forward remorsefully, recalling a barrage of insults she had used against him. "Now I feel bad about calling you nasty names."

"Don't, I deserved it. Plus, it's somewhat endearing when you do it. But I can understand how some words could stick, and no matter what you can't chisel away the build up accumulated over the years." A moment of thought later, Levi wagered a solution. "You're right, though. He won't open up to you. What Eren needs to do is talk to someone who understands what it's like to be in his position. It would be a plus if that person had some daddy-issues and experience with the same sex, so that they could tell him that life on the other side of the closet isn't as scary as it seems."

Mikasa swept her eyes over to Levi, who had sunk back down to the floor to organize Eren's video game collection. Mikasa didn't know much about Levi...but based on what she gathered from personal observation, he and Eren had more in common than she initially believed.

As she pondered this, Levi lifted his head quickly and said, "I'm not talking about myself, nor volunteering to have a man-to-man talk with him, encased you were wondering."

Mikasa's hope deflate so low that she found herself on the floor beside him, kneeling as if ready to beg. "I know you don't know Eren very well, but I think he would open up to an older male-figure like you. He already admires you a lot."

Carefully, Levi added another case to the stack he created. "And I think, for better results, he needs to seek out someone on his own. It would be ill-advised to force him into a therapy session with someone he doesn't feel comfortable opening up to; there's a difference between admiration and trust. I can't just approach him and say, _'Fuck society, your father, and a male partner of your choosing.'_ If he _did_ approach me, however, then that's another story. I'd try to help him out—even if I'm the last person that should be handing out advise like that."

Mikasa studied his face for a long while until he continued, springing up to grab a dust rag. "If he doesn't come to me, it'll be someone else. I'm sure, eventually, he'll find someone who gets him on personal level and he'll break out of his rut."

"I hope so," she said, but her voice strained to sound optimistic. Trying to correct her gloomy composure, Mikasa perked up and mustered a small smile for Levi. "You're a good listener."

"I don't hear that a lot. Probably because I try to tune out most people who try to converse with me. But I enjoy talking with you, Mikasa, and I like talking about your friends—I have a feeling they'll eventually become my friends too, so I might as we'll get a head start and catch up on everything I missed."

If Levi truly wanted to be caught up, he had a long way to go. He didn't even know about the missing member in Mikasa's group of friends yet, which played a tremendous role in Eren's issues as well. Not only did the loss make a huge impact on Eren, but everyone, herself included, but right now she couldn't bear to dig up the dead. And so she left it on that note and tried to move on to a happier one.

"Since we're on the topic of friends..." She stood up from the floor. From over his shoulder she watched his rag glide over the dusty dresser before bumping into him to get his attention. "My friends and I are holding a Christmas party soon."

At first, Mikasa couldn't tell if he caught a whiff of something foul or if that was his reaction to what she said. "Most parties are bad as it is. But a Christmas-themed one? Bad combination."

"But its a non-conventional Christmas party," she claimed, but only to make it sound more appealing to him. "It's just an excuse for everyone to get together, get drunk on alcoholic eggnog and eat until we're sick. I was hoping you'd join us."

If you looked passed the sickly look on Levi's face he almost looked apologetic. "I really like you, Mikasa...but I hate the holidays, specifically I hate celebrating them. Do you see my dilemma?"

"Oh, stop being so dramatic," she hissed, whacking him in the arm. "It's gonna be fun. Bring your own friends along; we could all get to know each other. How's that sound?"

"Sounds great," the sharp sarcasm nearly cut her. "Misery loves company, after all, and if I must attend a Christmas gathering I might as well bring the whole gang to suffer with me." Noticing her grumpy pout, Levi revealed a thin smirk and cupped her shoulder. Leaning in, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll go, but don't think you can convert me into some Christmas-loving fanatic that easy."

"I'll bring the holiday spirit out of you one way or another," she pledged, liking the challenging ring to her words.

"Will you?" he sounded doubtful. "I didn't know you could resurrect dead spirits. You're a woman of many talents."

Only a Christmas miracle would turn this grumpy Scrooge into a jolly, festive man, but given all the recent changes in Mikasa's life nothing seemed completely impossible anymore. Ever since she met Levi, she realized small miracles do occur sometimes. This month had proved to be a memorable time for both of them, and Mikasa had a feeling December wasn't through with them yet.


End file.
